Tuesday, June 7, 2011

The Two Witless Witnesses: Men In Black?



Chiropractor/naturopath/end time prophet/self proclaimed authority on 2012 and  the COG, Bob Thiel claims that the two witnesses are sitting in the Living Church of God right now.  Who they are he has no idea, but the only logical explanation is that only LCG could produce those two righteous people.  Anyone outside LCG is an ignorant fool and is to be ignored.

Of course, I do believe that God will raise up the two witnesses, and I believe that they are alive now.  However, I believe that they are very likely to be part of the Living Church of God, so when I get emails from people outside of the COG who make such claims (and who never have any real proof, just assertions) I feel that they can safely be eliminated from consideration.
 .
He claims to have gotten a letter recently from a man and his daughter claiming to be the two witness, as well as from another person

He then launches into the two witless witnesses Ronnie Weinland and his wife. At least Bob has the brains to see the witless witnesses as the complete morons they are.


But, then goes on to say that whenever the witnesses arrive on the scene they will be wearing some kind of dark clothing:

3 I clothe the heavens with blackness, And I make sackcloth their covering (Isaiah 50:3).
12 I looked when He opened the sixth seal, and behold, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became like blood (Revelation 6:12).
The implication in the above scriptures is that biblical sackcloth is black–thus it seems that the two witnesses wear some cloth that is black, hence my use of the Men in Black photo at the beginning of this article.
 While it is remotely possible that the two witnesses will not wear actual physical sackcloth, Revelation 11:13 is not speaking of just humility, but specifically that the clothing of the two witnesses will not be fancy–probably in contrast to the beast, who is likely to be flashy/wealthy in appearance.And in particular, I also suspect that the two witnesses actually will sometimes wear some literal sackcloth, at least at times. And that they will wear at least some black while they are publicly warning the world.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Where to begin? I just don't know, so I won't. This is so wrong. Suppose, just suppose, that some of the Bible is true and there will come a judgment day and there's a lake of fire? Wouldn't the sychophant of the hireling trained by The False Prophet have some 'splainin' to do?

Eschatologically speaking, there are at least two possible scenios which could work on the above assumption:

1) Pretty much all the leadership and the Liar / Founder of Living -- that CoG which has a name that it is Living, but is dead -- would be thrown into the Lake of Fire and we would draw a big sigh of relief for the Peace which would follow or,

2) They are given Eternal Life with a caveat -- two, actually --

a) They must realize that they have been granted supreme mercy for all the evil abuse they have given to the "brethren" (brethren? I don't think I'd want to be related to them in any way -- even a distant cousin), what with their utter contempt for Abraham's children and all. I would surmise that Abraham would be severely ticked with them, not to mention the other potentates in the Kingdom of God.

b. These Living Dead Men would be subject to, servants of and instructed by those who came out of the idolatry and blasphemy of Armstrongism -- to be subject to them for all eternity.

By that time, who the two witnesses might be and what transpired in "the end days" would hardly have any interest or relevance to be forgotten in the mist of regret.

Byker Bob said...

Yeah, right! Weinland claims that he and his wife are the two witnesses, Pack claims that the two will have to come to him to be trained as preparation for their work, and Thiel says they're now attending LCG!

It's all symptomatic of clueless people who believe they just have to have an answer for everything!

The parents of most kids who grew up in WCG taught them that they might be one of the two witnesses.

As for the much anticipated MIB, I have no clue who they might be. It's something we'll find out later. Or not.

BB

Anonymous said...

2 females in burkas?

Allen C. Dexter said...

"As for the much anticipated MIB, I have no clue who they might be. It's something we'll find out later. Or not."

They're going to be nobody. The Book of Revelation is a travesty. Even many of the dunces who set up the canon questioned it and it almost didn't make it in.

More stupid nonsense has come out of that book than any other except Daniet. It too was a spurious fabrication from about the time of the Maccabbees.

Lake of Fire Church of God said...

"Bob Thiel claims that the two witnesses are sitting in the Living Church of God right now".

MY COMMENT - And, when I was growing up in the WCG in the 1960s, I heard "the two witnesses are sitting in the Worldwide Church of God right now".

I also heard speculation that the two witnesses could be a father/son combo - the Armstrongs.

It's fun to play "prophetic speculation" inserting live contemporary people into ancient Bible prophecy. It chews up a lot of time and chatter; gives people like Gerald Waterhouse and Dave Pack something to blather about; but in the end produces absolutely nothing - other than hot air.

Richard

Anonymous said...

Bob!! The Book of Revelation is a FAILED first Century prophecy that pooped out the day the Roman's crushed Jerusalem in 70 AD. It was probably written by Jews for Jews and then adapted by Jewish Christians for Jewish Christians in the City.

Theme: Hang on sloopy hang on! The Kingdom is coming. The Romans are going down soon. Jesus is almost here.

Outcome: Ummmmmm....never mind....

There is a good chance Vespasian was the Beast Power and the despicable anti Jewish Christian Apostle Paul was the False prophet that "Jesus" congratulated the Ephesian Church for sending packing as a nut case.

Even Paul said, "All those in Asia, (Ephesus) have forsaken me..." I guess it never occurred to him to wonder why?

M.T. Temple

Anonymous said...

"However, I believe that they are very likely to be part of the Living Church of God, so when I get emails from people outside of the COG who make such claims (and who never have any real proof, just assertions) I feel that they can safely be eliminated from consideration."

What is most disturbing is Bob's "logic" and "criteria" for determining who are the Two Witnesses. I am surprised that the irony didn't blow up his computer as he typed. "Just assertions," indeed. Is he even aware of the irony? Is he aware that his own belief that the Two Witnesses are in the LCG are also "just assertions??"

Paul Ray

Baywolfe said...

Religion is, pretty much, the only area left that nutjobs can promote any cockamamie theory they want, and not face universal ridicule. Somebody is going to believe them on the false "argument from authority" premise.

After all, how many people survive ridiculous theories on gravity, or economics, or even auto maintenance without facing dire consequences?

Glenn said...

Baywolfe,

I suggest that chiropractic is another area in which nutjobs can promote just about any theory they come up with and can get away with it. Just assertions and faith - no evidence necessary.

Let's see - who lives at the intersection of doomsday religion and chiropractic? Anyone? Anyone?

Anonymous said...

Glenn, you said it well. Thiel is an odd bird- reasonably intelligent and skeptical in many areas but such an unabashed apologist for Spanky Meredith it is hard to take him seriously. Thankfully he seems to keep his faith based professional views separate from his faith based spiritual ones.

Anonymous said...

I assume that when Bob, the Chiropractor finds out how wrong he is, he'll adjust. I mean he's a chiropractor right?? That's what they do..... :)

Gluteus Capitis

Anonymous said...

Perhaps we should be concerned about The Two Witnesses--Men in Drag???

Anyone remotely starting to act Two Witnessish in Jerusalem, will fall victim of the Jerusalem Syndrom police and be tazed

M.T.Tazer

Anonymous said...

Bob Thiel, I have two words for you and the LCG.

1) Terry
2) Ratzmann

Anonymous said...

Having read Bob Thiel for a few years, it seems he increasingly is becoming full of himself. He is beginning to sound more arrogant and full of himself.

The "God works through me" dilusion seems to be taking over

Gluteus Capitus

Anonymous said...

Don't waste your time trying to identify the two witnesses. Even they would not know it (i guess) just as John the baptist. Why only the two witnesses? Aren't there many witnesses who will witness for God? Wouldn't you witness for God yourself in these end times? You don't have to be one of the two to do that. It's enough if you are one of the many. Wake up! enoch.org.il

Frank said...

what a load of crap your web site is at Enoch Ministry. Sacred names crap, RFID conspiracy theories, mark of the beast stupidity, and on and on and on your stupid beliefs go. If we thought Herbert W Armstrong was an idiot, you take the cake! You are as stupid as Yisrael Hawkins and the House of Yahweh retards in Texas.