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Thursday, December 22, 2011
Well, That Was Stupid...
Last week I broke my own rule. "Whenever you have a choice between the thinking in your head about something and the feeling in your stomach about it, your stomach is telling you the truth."
It was just minutes before a couples massage session with another therapist. This was the chocolate covered strawberries, champagne and cozy fireplace kind of session. Actually it's not all that cozy as four people and a burning fireplace (Kerosene) sucks up most of the oxygen in a few minutes and I don't remember much about the session! Anyway, it looks nice.
The fireplace was out of kerosene so in a room that only lights up so much, I filled it. Actually, I must have overfilled it unknown to myself. Something told me, as I pointed the igniter at the grate not to pull the trigger. I had no reason not save for the reasoning’s in my head and the feeling in my stomach. I pulled the trigger.....
Poof! Now the floor is on fire. The wall is on fire. The decorative Christmas tree on the bench is on fire. And i am on fire. Funny how you can block out stuff for the sake of the great good. I grabbed the tree to get it out of the room and the faster I went the more the flames came back on my hands.
The tree went out. The smothering of the fire worked. And my hands were really really red, but it seemed ok. We moved the clients to another room (they didn't see what happened) and did the massage session.
As the hour went by my hands really were hurting more and more. Trapping them between the client's back and the table made it much worse as the heat from my hands was trapped. I got through it and went home.
Over the week my fingers went numb on the ends and turned white in places. No blisters meant I avoided 2nd degree burns but alas, now the blistering starts. It just took some time. But they are healing and I did everything I knew to do to get through the process. Well not everything. I skipped the doctor part because I have no insurance so I asked myself, "What would Tecumseh do? And just took care of business myself. But it is healing and it is interesting to see that in every disappointment, accident, mistake, trial, goof up, misunderstanding, stupid idea and stuff that makes up our own story along the way, healing does occur. Sometimes shortly and sometimes over much more time, but it does come for most.
I lost the love of my life partly because of "you're stuck in the past." I can't deny that but have chosen not so much to be stuck but to help others, including myself get unstuck by taking a good look at the whole experience. It was taking too long.
I believe some have been helped by my not just walking away as if it never happened. But I mourn the personal loss which has left me learning another lesson I still have trouble going into. Now I am somewhat stuck in another kind of past. I wonder if it ever ends? I have learned that alone and me do not get along. I have the kind of heart that seems to need to share it with someone who half understands me, but I digress.
The stages of loss and trauma are well known.
7 Stages of Grief...
1. SHOCK & DENIAL-
2. PAIN & GUILT-
3. ANGER & BARGAINING-
4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
5. THE UPWARD TURN
6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-
First we go into denial that what is or has happened , has really happened. When I saw the fire spread, I went blank for a second or two and heard myself call myself a name. That didn't last long because i had to move and solve the immediate problem. But denial is not so easy. I was in denial for years over all the WCG drama. My prayer was simply, "May God bless and keep the Administration and Most ministers far away from me." And for the most part it worked...until it didn't.
Many Christians are in denial of many things. The delay of or non- existence of the Second Coming, their own mortality, that tithing does not come back to you as advertised, that ministers really do get whacky and their getting to give the sermons does not mean they speak the truth etc. Those older in the faith and having lived a life of "we who are alive and remain," simply can't imagine they simply will die like billions before them. It's not easy to face these things.
Next comes the pain and guilt. Plenty of that to go around for sure and if anyone can be the monkey on one's own back, it is me. Pain you can't help. Guilt is useless (I did a bad thing,) as is shame, (I am a bad person). Bells can be unrung. However, this does not mean they will easily let you go. I still have an issue or two that are so painful and guilt producing, I want to scream. So scream, see if it helps!
A simple and heartfelt "please forgive me" will not fix anything because the answer is "no" or "I forgive you, but...." That but is a big but.
Anger and Bargaining. Oh, plenty of that to go around. Anger keeps us stuck until somehow we feel we have experienced all we can stand and see it does not really serve us. Bargaining is the , "if I do this and never do that, we can fix this right?" Wrong most of the time. People or the gods aren't that easily swayed. It never seems to cross their minds they need to be forgiven for a few things as well. I find the solution to the enigma of forgiveness not feeling all that helpful is simply giving up the need to forgive. I don't need to forgive anyone anymore and perhaps they don't have to forgive me either.
Depression, Reflection and Loneliness. Ugh...this is a tough one. Some days are diamonds and some days are stone when it comes to these topics. Medication is not the answer to issues not faced. I forbid myself from buying a gun "to protect myself in case society collapses," knowing full well I had my moments where I no longer cared about many things or couldn't "figure out," how things could work out. Who can? The reflection part is why I write and the loneliness part is what I suffer as if you could not tell. It's what everyone feels depending on their story
The last three are the "you're on your way stage" and what take time to get to. It would be nice if we could just will ourselves into healing but these burns are going to heal in their own time and in the proper order for such things.
It's all a process and there are times where you can even fall back from one to the last one you thought you had seen enough of. But let this well known process work it's miracle. Where are you stuck in all this? What part can't you get past? It's ok. It's just how it works and time does heal not that you won't have some scarring.
Whatever 2012 has in store I'm pretty sure it will be nuts. Life does what it does with or without us so relax if you can. It's all just a story. We all have one.
Burns heal. Skin grows. Nerves feel again. The wisdom of the body should show us how to view the wisdom in our hearts.
My favorite ultra conservative HWA worshiping site is at it again on Yahoo. This time it's about the "spirit world." Mind you, some of these are the "good" spirits that God uses to scare the crap out of you so you stop being a wretched sinner. There is also one that is obviously demonic to him too. This guy has God intervening in his life by stealing Christmas lights off his light strings, then God throws them into the street to warn him to stop keeping Christmas. Then God smashes his ash tray to make him stop smoking. More magical thinking about a god they need to imagine that does special things just for them since they are the select few in the world.
I wonder how many of you have had experiences from the spirit world! Way back when my wife and I were first married, we had been living with my wife`s widowed grandmother for several months when we decided to buy our own home. We were both working for the same factory where we had met and we heard of this two and one half story house that was being settled by the heirs of the old woman that had died in that house and had been vacant for several months. The purchase price was $10,500 and we paid the $500 for the down payment and borrowed the rest.We would go to our newly purchased house in the evenings for house cleaning since it was in bad shape because of that woman`s age being unable to properly care for it. We would clean till late at night and then would shut off all of the lights. The next night, we found the light on on the floor lamp which I was sure that I had turned off. Then before leaving I made certain sure to shut off all lights. Then the next day, the *cellar* lights were on. This happened several times and then I felt that someone else had a key to that place and so I got a very thin wire to wire the three entrances to see which one was being used for entry. None of those wires were broken, so it had to be coming from within!! The problem finally stopped.Then when we were called into the truth and instructed that we need to get rid of all religious stuff from our walls and I didn`t believe that to be necessary and I left this only one item hanging on the wall. I had it hanging on the wall with a nail with a very large head on it to insure it not to fall! Then the next morning I found it on the carpet in pieces!! That thing was made with hard, thick, ceramic type stuff that could not break and especially when landing on the carpet!! It would likely take a hammer to break it!!Then at Christmas time I had put strings of lights on the shrubbery of the house and then the thieves would come and steal the bulbs. So we worked wiring the bulbs to the sockets. Then the next night, since they couldn`t unscrew the bulbs, they literally ripped the entire strings of bulbs off of the shrubs and strewn across the street. We finally got God`s messages!!!Then when called into the Church, I had a smoking problem and each time the minister and his assistant would come to the house to see how I was doing, I still had not quit and this went on for three years. I had smoked two packs a day for twenty years and was totally addicted. Then this one day, after the minister had left, my wife called me for dinner and as I was asking the blessing, we heard glass breaking from the living room, where I had been sitting, and this very thick astray that I had been using was in pieces!!! Then I was told, "I believe that God is trying to tell you something." I finally broke the habit after our minister, Mr. Bryce Clark told me that If I have to chain myself to the bed, I must quit smoking, and he made me quit before allowing me to attend services. Some thought that he was a bit harsh, but I credit him with not only saving my physical life but my spirit life as well. I could never have quit otherwise. We had been observing all of the Holy days, the weekly Sabbath, as well as tithing all of those three years, then with God`s help, I finally made it though I still craved a cigarette for five years after.Then one year at the feast at Niagara Falls, we were all packed packed up and was leaving and was in the outside lane of traffic this guy came barreling out of the mall and instead of staying in the inside lane, he came crashing on across into our lane and smashing against the side of our car and caused me to go over the curb. I tried chasing him because of the damage to our car but he sped away before I could catch him. I pulled off at the nearest exit to check the damage and to report it to the Niagara Falls police but after stopping and checking our car, there was not even scratch. As hard as he hit the side of our car, I couldn`t believe it!! It had to have been an angel of God who had protected us!!There have been other times that I can recall when we were protected by God, but this is getting quite lengthy!!
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
The Six Foot.....
If you had any thought that Armstrongites were the only ones who would go to great lengths to discredit Christmas you are mistaken. Below is a video of an idiot that surpasses even the weirdest Armstrongite. Of course Armstrongites agree with this guy as further proof on the paganism involved in Christmas. This was on a Facebook COG board. It is a Messianic cult that preaches a lot of legalistic silliness that some Armstrongite's want to cling to.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
"And Yes Brethren...I am that..."
Yesterday, Apostle Ron Weinland, with some nervous tension, announced that , "yes brethren, I am the third type of the Elijah to come." That was the last straw for me.
I have had to endure Gerald Flurry declaring himself "that Prophet," and David C Pack, "And yes brethren, I am that Apostle." Now I have to put up with Apostle Ronald Weinland declaring he is the third type of an Elijah to come. He also made it clear he was the final one. I guess Elijahs come in threes. I assure you they do not.
I'm going to be honest about this. I want a title. My writings have brought me some derision where one called me "The High Priest of Marduk." Now don't get me wrong. I haven't had a title in a very long time and being the High Priest of Marduk is not bad considering he was the chief Deity over Babylon and lived at the top of a Ziggurat in Bagdad. But it is not enough for me.
Ron Weinland started his humble climb to stardom with being content at being an Apostle. Then he switched to one of the Two Witnesses with his wife being Witness Number Two. To date, these witnesses have not wielded much power and have not impressed anyone with the word of their mouths, but there may be time. Now Ron is declaring himself the Third Elijah Type to Come. Great! All the good titles are fast being consumed by the faithful ministry in him. Ron may, however, fall back to Mr. or just plain Ron sometime in 2012.
Far as I know, Joe Tkach still goes by "Mr." so I congratulate him for at least not becoming the Arch Angel Michael.
Dave began as "The Watcher," progressed (in his fine mind) to "and yes brethren, i am an Apostle,' to darn near Prophet status or something of late. I think he is basically out of titles and Ron has usurped the last legitimate one from him. Nice work Ron!! I suppose Dave could give a four hour sermon on "and yes brethren, i am the Fourth Type of the Elijah to Come," but it doesn't have a good ring to it.
The only titles I find not used yet are, "Man of sin," "false prophet," "who say they are apostles and are not," "Messiah," "scoffers," "King of Kings and Lord of Lords," and "Family guy..."
Therefore, and I am going to forgo the four hour sermon proving this and simply say, I am Jesus, no wait, I am God, and let me see you beat that one!
As Supreme God I command you, Ron Weinland, to step down as both Witness and Elijal type. I fire you. I did not call you to that and you have been fibbing to the brethren. If I had appointed you that, I am quite sure I would have remembered doing so. You're fired.
This goes for you too David C Pack. You were never a Watcher and certainly never an Apostle. Or if you were, you were in your own mind and like Paul, announced it yourself 22 times out of the 24 times Paul called himself one in the NT. Seems no one else is familiar with your grand titles.
As for you Gerald, you are not this or that or another prophet. You made that all up and I have not appointed you. Again, I would have remembered that, and frankly I don't.
Now a word to you brethren who sit there comatose and unable to speak up with that niggly voice in your head that tells you, 'what! That's a bunch of shit if I ever heard it." Wake up brethren. These men are fooling you and themselves. They are self appointed, somewhat mentally unstable and while MAYBE sincere, not in touch with me on these things. I know who I assign callings to, and none of these guys are on the list. I am a bit disappointed at your lack of critical thinking, but it is what it is. Save yourself however and question these guys and pay attention to your doubts.
Frankly, ALL the prophecies of my son, Jesus' return were for 2000 years ago. I know what "shortly" means and "the time is hand" is all about. It was not code. I goofed. I sincerely thought the night was far spent and the time was at hand. Shortly means shortly and was not code for longly. I simply made a mistake. Or if not a mistake, did not mean the return would be as you have thought. I think I meant the Jewish faith would pass the baton to the Christian one. The Fall of Jerusalem in 70 AD was kinda what i meant. Wasn't thinking much past that and if you think 2000 years later is a good definition of "shortly", well I can't help you.
At any rate, as God, I have to negate all your titles as invalid and not of my choosing. I know that's a toughy for you, but trust me, you'll thank me.
Ok, well that's about it from HQ here. Nice Auditorium for me there Gerald, but I don't like living in Oklahoma so won't be visiting there often if at all. Dave, are you nuts? Winter in Ohio is brutal. I am a Middle Eastern kind of God so won't be living in your House for God anytime soon. Ron, well what can I say. "When I was in prison, you visited me," may be the best I can do. I wish you well.
That's about it . Being God is not what it's cracked up to be. You get credited with things you did not do or cause and you get the blame for things you had nothing to do with. It's a tough job, but I had to adopt a title you could not out do. Having done so...I return the reader to the channel they were watching, and myself to just being me.
Monday, December 19, 2011
The "Dear Leader" of Living Church of God is still turning off people with his required fast for healing of himself and others in the LCG.
This in some ways continues comments from a few weeks ago regarding Rod’s enforced fasts. I agree the tone of Rod’s desperate letter sounds like the desperation of the priests of Baal cutting themselves and jumping around wildly to get Baal to answer them. And like Elijah said in modern language: “maybe Baal is on vacation–or maybe he’s across town that he can’t hear you.” Maybe the God (or perhaps more appropriately god) Rod worships is not hearing him because of his terrible selfishness. I cannot believe how self-serving Rod’s “fast” is. He and his “leading” cronies get the hot seat of sickness–and he wants everyone else to do something about it!! It doesn’t work that way! “you fast for strife and debate–and to smite with the fist of wickedness (brutality.)” To be fair, I don’t think Rod’s “church” is as bad as the concentration camps run by F & P (Flurry and Pack) but Rod has never learned anything in his life. He never learned humility, (to this day boasting about his golden gloves boxing days; now that’s humility!)–he never learned how to obey orders, always insisting he be the one that gives orders–he has a long history of abusing people, but if he thinks God is “abusing” him or his cronies with sickness, why all you losers fast and pray so God will help me! It’s a sad, pathetic letter. I truly think the poor brainwashed members of Rod’s church (not God’s church) will be forced to see their “Dear Leader” for the carnal personality he is.
Weinerdude's criminal court case has been continued till March 2012. From Apostle Malm's blog:
On December 12, 2011, a hearing was called on the defendant’s motion to continue [delay] the trial scheduled to begin January 31, 2012. The United States was represented by Assistant United States Attorney Robert McBride. Defendant Ronald E. Weinland was present and represented by Robert Webb, retained counsel. The proceedings were recorded by official court reporter, Lisa Wiesman. The Court having heard counsel and being sufficiently advised, it is hereby ORDERED as follows: 1. The defendant’s motion to continue [Record No. 14] is GRANTED. The trial date of January 31, 2012, is vacated and the jury trial is rescheduled for March 20, 2012, beginning at 10:00 a.m., with counsel to be present at 9:30 a.m. 2. The pretrial conference previously scheduled for January 17, 2012, is continued [delayed] until March 12, 2012, beginning at 3:30 p.m., at the United States Courthouse in Covington, Kentucky. 3. Pursuant to 18 U.S.C. § 3161(h)(7)(B)(iv), the time period between January 31, 2012, and March 20, 2012, is excludable delay under the Speedy Trial Act.
The Court finds that failure to grant a continuance [delay] of the length outlined above would deny the defendant reasonable time necessary for effective preparation, taking into account the exercise of due diligence. Further, the ends of justice served by continuing [delaying] the trial date in this case outweigh the best interest of the public and the defendant in a speedy trial. 4. The defendant shall remain on bond and conditions of release previously imposed.
Ronald Weinland’s criminal proceedings began formally on November 10. The criminal trial is scheduled to begin on March 20, the court having given the defense 49 days of the 180 days delay they had requested from an originally scheduled trial date of Jan 31. There are other hearings between those two dates.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
You stupid fools that read other blogs and listen to people speak ill of God's Apostle are headed straight to the Lake of Fire! REPENT! God's Apostle NEVER made any mistake when it came to the Church. He may have made a few itty-bitty mistakes in his personal life, but NEVER in the Church!
It is apparent that some of you are being involved with other forums and that is your business, but to bring to this forum what some dissident minister has to say in regards to a charge that Mr. Armstrong made some mistakes in dealing with God`s Church and that particular minister feeling that he must correct the mistakes of God`s Apostle, will not be tolerated! Christ would never use some dissident minister to correct any possible mistakes of His Apostle, that would make no sense and does not! Any mistakes that Christ`s Apostle could have made, Christ would have seen to it that He would use His own Apostle to make any needed corrections!At one time, I had subscribed to another one of the more popular forums one day and unsubscribed the very next day having had to read some of the "garbage" that had been presented. It just was not my cup of tea! I found it hard to believe that some in God`s Church would resort to that sort of thing. I personally don`t care to read that sort of gossip!That is not to say that Mr. Armstrong didin`t make any mistakes in his personal life because obviously he did, but never regarding the Church, and then Christ using him (Mr. Armstrong) to correct those mistakes! Hopefully you all understand!There is nothing wrong with questioning something from the scriptures that needs better understanding that this forum might present in that understanding and would be very much welcomed.
As usual the premise of the letter says that if you are sick it is your fault! Your "lukewarm" attitude is causing your sickness. Your lack of passion and refusal to put "your heart" into God's work is letting Satan have free access to your brain and causing you to sin. Plus, if you sinners have stopped using your Moffat translation Bible you had better dig it out of the attic! Does any one even quote that translation anymore except for Spanky?
Dear fellow ministers and brethren,
Greetings from Charlotte! I want to give an emergency comment about the upcoming FAST we have called for this Sabbath, December 17, 2011. I should have put this in the Update yesterday, but was too busy and got distracted. So it is my fault. Dr. Winnail mentioned it, but I do want to comment further because of the extreme urgency of the situation we are in—which some of you may not fully realize.Brethren, more than in any time I can remember, literally dozens of our members and ministers are in “dire straits” physically. Up and down the East Coast, especially at here at Headquarters, at least seven individuals that I happen to know about are in life threatening situations—mostly from cancer. Just this morning, interestingly, I received an email from one of our leading members, Syd Attenborough, telling about the death of two CGI elders. One of the men I had known, Dennis Lawrence. The other I had not known but am very sorry for his death and the death of all of God’s people who perhaps have to die prematurely. So these two elders have died just within the last several days. A number more of our own people may die within the next several months unless we—as a Church—cry out to God to please intervene more powerfully to heal His own people! Certainly, as Jesus said, “When the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on the earth?” (Luke 18:8).
May God powerfully help us to regain the child-like faith that many had in years past—as some may not have had at all! Brethren, one of the major parts of Jesus’ ministry was to heal the sick—as I have explained many times. So we need to beseech God to help all of us draw closer to God so that He will begin to supernaturally heal those who turn to Him for this mercy. But the problem with many of us here—in this society—is that we do not get truly urgent in our prayers. We tend to be “lukewarm” in our prayers for healing—as in so many other things. One of Mr. Armstrong’s favorite scriptures along this line was something he said that we—as a Church—vitally needed to meditate upon. That is Moffatt’s translation of Hosea 7:14: “Though it was I who redeemed them, they have lied to me; they never put their heart into their prayers.” Mr. Armstrong often remarked that he thought that this was perhaps the greatest weakness in the prayers of God’s people—the lack of total fervency and passion when we pray to Almighty God. Brethren, I hope that as we enter this fast, that we can meditate on that and cry out to God for the sense of urgency and heartfelt outflowing concern for these people that are truly sick and perhaps ev en dying among our own brethren in the Church!
Remember when God told His servants to cry out to Him about the coming trials of the Day of the Lord—the time just ahead of us—He urged them, “‘Now, therefore,’ says the Lord, ‘Turn to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning. So rend your heart, and not your garments” (Joel 2:12-13). And when God instructs us in the New Testament to pray for healing, He states, “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much” (James 5:16). Therefore, as we enter this fast, I hope and pray that all of us will genuinely take it seriously and try to mediate thoughtfully and lovingly about the suffering and imminent death so many of our own brethren are going through! Let us, together, truly cry out to our God at this time for His special intervention and healing of His own people. I am sure God would want us to do this. If we cry out to God in this way at this time, it will all draw us close together as a Church and He will no doubt bless us in many other ways. As we pray, let us also cry out for additional faith and courage so that we may move ahead in every aspect of our Christian lives and honor the God who gives us life and breath.
Brethren, please take this seriously and let us go all out as a Church in seeking our God in this day of fasting and prayer.
With Christian love,
Roderick C. Meredith
The newest harlot daughter of Armstrongism, The Church of God Worldwide Association has announced it is starting a Bible School. What's with all these splinter cults and their schools and fake colleges?
I would imagine their first course to be offered is "Ethics." They wouldn't want any of the students working behind their backs to form another church while on COGWA payroll, would they?
Sadly another generation of youth will be indoctrinated in false doctrines, false prophecies and worshiping HWA.
EDUCATION: Dick Thompson has agreed to oversee the development of a COGWA Bible school (details of which will be announced soon!) and assist me with ministerial development and training and any other adult programs or online educational efforts we may develop in the future.