Thursday, March 8, 2012

Throw Out That Morton Salt! It's Satan's Tool To Make You Sin in Days of Unleavened Bread

Are you ready to throw out your Morton salt for the Days of Unleavened Bread?  One of Apostle Malm's acolytes says that you need to.  It seems Moton's has added baking soda in with the salt.  I checked my box and a Safeway brand and they both have baking soda added.  Obviously this qualifies as a leavening agent to these misguided folk.

If you use salt in your water softener, you had better check it for baking soda and get ready to throw it out.  If you need salt to throw on the ice on your front sidewalk, be prepared to throw it out too.

This reminds me of the stupid minister that demanded that the College throw out the baking soda used in the gym pool to keep alkalinity down. They refused and the minister went into melt down as everyone stood around and laughed at him.

Beware of Brewers Yeast too.  It's another dirty filthy leavening agent used by Satan to make your DUB's less righteous.  I suppose we need to start dumping beer now too?  When will these fools ever stop?

A Malmite writes:

I just want to say, and no one ever believes me, that brewer’s yeast is leavening. Supposedly it is dead, but I did an experiment one year with some brewer’s yeast that came in a wine-making kit, it did a great job of leavening my experiemental loaf of bread.

Also, one warning about salt. I had to throw out one of those blue round boxes of salt because they had put sodium bicarbonate (baking soda) as an anti-caking agent. I only discovered this after the Days of Unleavened Bread last year, much to my chagrin. I threw it out anyway, as I feel it is still a symbol of sin even if I missed it when I was supposed to find it. If I find any hidden leavening or leavened product after DUB that I missed, I throw it out to show that I am sorry that I wasn’t careful enough and missed it.

Baking soda is used as an anti-caking agent not as a leavening agent.  Just further proof that legalism destroys brain function in these people.


DennisCDiehl said...

Actually Apostle Malm is an interesting study in magical thinking and the "God Haunted" life.

Like Dave Pack, Jesus gets little press and it's all about God/Christ and one's future place in it all, as if they know.

If there is a God of the entire Universe, Parallel Universes and Multiverses, it simply cannot be concerned with the ideas of a small cultic group of hairless apes on an obscure planet.

If this Deity is truly "a jealous God," well....what kind of God is that? (The original actually says, "you shall bring no foreign gods into my presence..for I am a jealous God." Also showing that at the time of that writing, Israel had many lesser gods to play with.)
Gluten, yeast, table salt, hair length, makeup, trumpet blowing, new moons, store bought Matzo vs whole wheat made at home of the believer, homemade wine....Really????

Religion attracts adherents according to personality. There is a butt for every seat as they say.

Byker Bob said...

I'm still waiting for them to get on the internet and discover that the vitamin D in most of the commercial milk is from porcine sources. That'd kill off their eating of all non-kosher foods, since milk is nearly a universal ingredient.