Saturday, July 14, 2012

Dave Pack Ready To Premier The Worlds Most Advanced Web Site

Dave Pack, the most arrogant of the Church of God splinter cult leaders, is crowing on his web site about it's new design.  It is a design that is soooooooooooooooooooo mind-boggling and super-duper that it ranks number one in the entire world for religious sites.  At least in his narcissistic eyes.

Only the worlds most important church could ever manage to produce a site that is so advanced that it eclipses all other religious sites around the world.  How spectacular is that!  We are in awe Dave!  In awe! 

He writes:

State-of-the-Art Website Redesign: This Monday, July 16, marks the debut of a completely redesigned site. The website now takes its place among the most advanced in the world, eclipsing all other religious sites!

You will soon be treated to these mind boggling features on this spectacular website:

The new version employs cutting-edge technology, and some features found nowhere else on an Internet of 600 million websites, including:
  • Full responsive design! This automatically optimizes viewing on all the thousands of types of desktop and mobile devices, including tablets and smartphones
  • A “My Bookshelf” function allows users to personalize the site
  • Streamlined navigation
  • Simplified hardcopy literature ordering
  • Notifications of news updates, literature orders, and items added to My Bookshelf
  • Expanded search capabilities
  • Stunning, productivity-enhancing surprise features available on no other site!
Visit soon to experience these powerful, groundbreaking features!

 Once more, Big Bro Dave is kicking sand in the face of all the skinny weakling COG splinter cults.

ht: Tom


Anonymous said...

"Once more, Big Bro Dave is kicking sand in the face of all the skinny weakling COG splinter cults."

Yeah, and some of them might dry up and blow away. Others are too fat and lazy to dry up and blow away just yet.

Anonymous said...

Is that Rod Meredith getting beaten up by Dave?

Allen C. Dexter said...

He learned well from HWA. Everything he touched or had any part in had to be the greatest and grandest ever.

How many hours did they waste trying to prove they were the most outstanding? I'll wager none. Just make the claim and all the psycophants will proudly accept it.

Isn't pride and boastfulness considered a work of the flesh?

Silence said...

Wow. It's impossible to fathom that Pack has any idea what he's talking about from a web design perspective or what makes a website "great."

"Groundbreaking?" Yeah, we get that Pack hates the Internet save for as a personal tool for his own aggrandizement, but has he actually visited other websites.

Rhetorical question. We know he visits COG-critical blogs.

"Surprise features" sounds strangely hilarious.

Assistant Deacon said...

"The website now takes its place among the most advanced in the world, eclipsing all other religious sites!"

Except for that little thing called content, that is.

Anonymous said...

It actually wouldn't be very difficult to build the "most amazingest bestest super-awesomely-toppingest greatest Armstrongite website ever."

That's because nearly all the ACOG sites are mediocre at best. The COGs are run by ignorant old men who have no idea of what a truly effective website would be, and who let an awful lot of crap go out on their websites that they would never be happy with in a medium they really understood.

In fact, speaking of mediocrity, some of the major ACOG sites have clearly gone BACKWARDS over the years, as groups have split and power has shifted and the old guard has left or given way to the new.

But do Luker, Kilough, Meredith, Flurry and others care? Do they even notice? No! Every year it's "the best website ever!"

The truth is, most ACOG sites are testaments far more to intra-church (and inter-church) politics than to anything having to do with Jesus Christ.

Douglas Becker said...

I didn't realize until yesterday what the "Faith" item of United was in the $1 million budget line:

It's all about the UCG taking their TV show into Israel and the Arab Nations (and screw The Good News European edition pulled because of their handling of Islam).

They had the faith last year to spend $1 million more than they had in the budget to do this, and darn it all, they are doing it again this year.

While Dirty Dave raves about how great it's going to be when he gets his new website format up and going (and we'll just have to wait til tomorrow and see, won't we?), United has busily and quietly gone forward in faith (in the gullibility of their membership) to produce a wrong-headed effort to reach people who will never believe one word they say. In fact, if things gang aftly, Radical Islam could take umbrage and take out a hit on the UCG (though not likely, but there is a risk). Let's just see how far they get in Saudi Arabia: Maybe they can get some Bibles in, but don't hold your breath.

I can hardly wait to see what happens when the Jews and the Arabs both find out that the Armstrongists believe that the United States and British Commonwealth are descended from Abraham. It should be great fun. The few Jews I've seen thus far aren't thrilled about the idea. It's sort of like theft: Stealing an heritage. Of course, anyone descended from Jacob should be able to understand that pretty well.

You know, this gets more and more like dividing by zero. The results get nuttier and nuttier and go straight out of sight.

It's nuts.

It's all just plain nuts.

Douglas Becker said...

And here the Bible utterly wastes its time by declaring that God resists the proud.

Sad, really.

Anonymous said...

Maybe his "awesome" new website will contain spyware that will be able to track each and every one of his 1000 members doings on the internet.

Anonymous said...

OMG just like every feast every year was (in bimbo teen girl voice): "like the best feast everrr!" How old is he or how old does he think his audience is? Like 9? Maybe with that sickly syrupy happy-happy joy-joy enthusiasm he should become the fifth Wiggle or something!?

Anonymous said...

Just what are the "Stunning surprise features available on no other site!"?

Do you press the Ctrl-D-P keys to see Davey have a wardrobe malfunction?

(If so, the Ctrl-D-P keys are definitely not the Keys to the Kingdom.)


Anonymous said...

Allen C. Dexter referring to Dave Pack's "...most advanced web site..." concluded with a question:

"...Isn't pride and boastfulness considered a work of the flesh?"

I don't think there is any doubt about it. The apostle Paul was inspired to write about boasting:

"But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is evil." James 4:16

And Pride? Job, years ago, was inspired to tell us about a king of pride, probably a king Dave Pack will never measure up to:

"He beholdeth all high things: he is a king over all the children of pride." Job 41:34


Byker Bob said...

Well, if he had the technical savy, I have no doubt that he'd try to create "Virtual Kingdom" software, in which one got a pre-visit to the KoG as visualized in Armstrongism. I can see it all now! HWA and Dave in their robes providing a guided tour down the golden streets!


Anonymous said...

I guess the "fruit" doesn't fall far from the Armstrongist tree. Herbie was a proud and self-righteous "know-it-all" boasting in Mammon and the "works of the flesh" (all under the guise of spirituality, humility, faith and integrity) like his church's revenue, magazine's circulation, tabernacles attendance numbers, his colossally extravagant auditorium and international campuses etc. So is it any wonder if his clones act no different?

Anonymous said...

Is Dave Pack the guy who made a big deal about hitting a rock when he was digging a hole?


Assistant Deacon said...

And...July 16 came and went with no revised website.

Pack Man controls everything RCG and couldn't even get that date right?