Thursday, October 4, 2012

Training COGWA men to be MEN

COGWA has a men's blog up to teach men how to be masculine he-men.  Apparently the years spent in UCG made the men weak and slightly effeminate, so this was created to help the men become  "godly" men. Oh, and there's one for women and one for kids too.

The latest entry is a weird story about a COGWA man who orders some cookbooks for his wife and drives to a woman's house to pick them up.  That's when the trouble starts.

Earlier in the day, I had ordered two popular recipe books for my wife, and I had arranged with the woman in charge to pick them up that evening at her home, as that was much more convenient than driving all the way to the middle of town. When I arrived at her house, it was already pitch dark. The woman came out with the books to give to me. I requested the use of her toilet.
Most COG ministers/elders/etc. have always been warned to NEVER place themselves in such a compromising situation.  The WTF! moment here is WHY did he need to use the woman's bathroom? Go down the road to a store or a restaurant!
Without a word, she opened the sliding security gate to her driveway, and I drove in and got out of my car. “This way”’ she said, and opened the gate to her garden. Pausing, she said “Oh, by the way, we have large dogs. So just move slowly.” (Very funny!)

Then all hell breaks loose:

But within seconds the dogs were on me, and I was in a tight spot. Then suddenly the thought entered my head: “Get into your car—quickly!”

I turned and ran for my car, clicking the remote control as I ran. I stumbled and nearly fell with one of the dogs on top of me!

I ripped open the door and sprang into the car. Immediately the dogs jumped up, trying to get at me through the car door! I opened the window slightly and shouted: “Let me out now! I have to reach a hospital!” The husband appeared and opened the gate.

Shocked and bleeding

Shocked and bleeding, I drove away as fast as I could. I spent some time at a medical center getting treatment, a tetanus injection and antibiotics. The doors of my car were badly scratched.

My wife was absolutely furious! “This woman was negligent!” she cried. “I’ll bet she doesn’t even phone you!”

So what's a poor COG member to do?  Take the bite in the ass and move on, sue, or forgive them in a loving Christian manner?  There is a "Christian" story in all of this. Here is what the man did:

So have you forgotten what Jesus said about loving your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:39)?
Jesus told us in Matthew 5:46, “If you love [only] those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors [scoundrels] do the same?” Instead: “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you” (Luke 6:27)—then you can call yourself a Christian.

And what about forgiving and forgetting? The Lord has forgiven your sins completely! And He expects you to forgive those who sin against you, or He will not forgive you (Matthew 6:14-15)!

You’re right. So what should I do?

That’s your choice. God will not force you into anything. But He is testing you right now. He wants to see whether you will try to take revenge in some way, or whether you will forgive. Yes, she was culpable and negligent. But are you perfect? Have you never been negligent in your life—and really hoped that retribution wouldn’t strike you afterwards?

That’s true.

In fact, this is a great opportunity for you to develop God’s character—to forgive and forget!
Thank you. What a tremendous opportunity I have been presented with to show the Lord I am serious about seeking His Kingdom and developing the mind and character of God. I believe all this has been a trial—and I must not fail it!

Our pastor always says: “Keep your eyes firmly fixed on the prize: membership of His eternal Kingdom!”
Did the lady phone me? Yes, actually she did—only the next morning, while I was in the bathroom. I got a curt voice mail saying: “I have phoned to find out how you are, and to say I am very sorry for what happened.”

Did she try to contact me again? No. Obviously she wasn’t very concerned about me at all, or about taking responsibility for the incident.

And do you know what? It’s okay with me! Because I have forgiven her. And as far as I’m concerned, the incident is closed and forgotten. And I am so happy to have learned an important lesson! What I have gained far overshadows the inconvenience, loss of personal possessions, etc. “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you” (Matthew 6:33, emphasis added).


Anonymous said...

COGWA men are pussies, it seems to me. God doesn't expect everyone to be complete spineless idiots, should've sued her ass. But one wonders what his motivation was asking to use her bathroom....was she married? Was she alone? Seems to me she was the smart one, she had dogs to protect her against strangers. She did warn him afterall.

Douglas Becker said...

Romans 12 says we need to obey the civil authorities.

The dogs are definitely a risk, so this matter should be turned over to the police, animal should be called and the dogs should be put to death per the law.

Also, the Christian thing to do is for the woman to pay for the damage and to make sure the man is thoroughly healed, even as Christ instructed.

If people don't take action, the first thing you know, the children in the church will have pedophiles attack them and the church will cover everything up, elders in business will rip off members and the church will cover up and the ministers will violate the law, commit crimes and the church will cover up.

Since CoGWA is just another cult replete with lying insane false prophets wearing sheep's clothing, stealing from membership by demanding tithes to which they are not entitled and generally immoral, illegal and unethical without one shed of the sign of a single fruit of the Holy Spirit, no one need feel that they should beholden to these frauds from which Scripture says, "from such turn away".

This applies to any Armstrongist church of God, so CoGWA need not feel that they are being singled out, but they shouldn't think they are entitled to any particular entitlement.

And that goes for their Republican Dog Owner non voting ultra conservative law and order nut job members who put other people at risk for no particular reason.

I do believe that the woman member owes a set of cookbooks to which she should add a fifth part for all the trouble she caused for no particular reason.

There also needs to be an investigation by the police to see if she has violated any laws so that a grand jury can indict if need be and if she is convicted, not be released until everything is resolved to the satisfaction of those authorities God put over her for her protection.

Anonymous said...

I sometimes think you can tell a lot about people by the stories they choose to tell, regardless of what they intend to say. This is one of those times.

Byker Bob said...

Probably the most challenging situations I've had when working in peoples' homes, either as an insurance agent (early attempt at a career), or in assisting home-based business people with their equipment, have involved dogs. The staff of the US Postal Service have been the people with a primary awareness of this, are specially trained, often carry dog repellent, but still often end up in the hospital emergency rooms with dog bites.

The pants-splittings I've suffered while jumping straight up in a nearly perfect split to get over a fence while being pursued by German Shepherds didn't rise to the need to report a dog as being viscious, nor did some really primal savage barking and teeth baring. Once, while in a policy-holder's living room, one of their two poodles backed up to my leg, raised it's tail, and began vigorously rubbing it's butt on my pants leg. No problem, when I left, I went home and showered and changed my pants before making the rest of my calls for the day.

Living in the post-Christian era, it is no longer possible to expect both parties in an incident such as reported in this blog entry to behave in a loving Christian manner. I mean, there have even been incidents reported in the newspaper where owners of the types of dogs normally used for home protection deliberately had minority children tease their dogs, thus causing the dogs to do a little racial profiling as they pondered intruders.

The storyteller, imo, did come to a basically Christian conclusion in terms of his own feelings towards the owner of the dogs, but it would also be the loving thing (not punitive or spiteful) to do to try to prevent others from suffering the same plight. The incident should have been reported to appropriate authorities, so that proper preventative measures could be taken. Next incident may well involve somebody's innocent child!


Byker Bob said...

BTW. For the edification of the ACOGs: I don't think you can train someone to be an alpha male. That's something for which one is probably born with certain characteristics.