Tuesday, November 13, 2012

United Church of God: STOP Picking On God's Anointed Jelly!

A reader here did not like the previous  posting and all of the comments that appeared about Jelly The Feast Keeper.  Remember that?  It's those creepy UCG videos extolling the virtues of the 10 Commandments and the Feast.

Here is what was sent in as a comment:

All the negative comments reek of arrogance. These videos are for CHILDREN. Remember children? These are the one's Christ said we adults should become like. I encourage you to spend more time trying to help others and less time slamming videos that were intended for children.

So, all of you people out there that found the video disturbing, you did so out of complete ARROGANCE!  You stupidly forgot that it was a brainwashing tool for small UCG children.

My question is,  WHEN does UCG talk to their children about Jesus?  What did he do for them?  What's it mean to follow Jesus? Why do they need to follow Jesus instead of the laws UCG claim are still in force?

It's still creepy!


Anonymous said...

And one can reasonably argue that even the "adult" members are -- still -- children, spiritually. This makes it even creepier.

Lake of Fire Church of God said...

Anonymous said... And one can reasonably argue that even the "adult" members are -- still -- children, spiritually.

MY COMMENT - And one can reasonably argue that even the "adult" members are -- still -- children, mentally!


Assistant Deacon said...

Well, I never cared for "Big Beak," either, if that makes the UCGers feel any better.

Douglas Becker said...

There's some reason children should learn about British Israelism?

And they complain about teaching evolution to children!

DennisCDiehl said...

In my opinion, it is the cheap, Sesame Street type mode of teaching what are perceived to be serious religious views that is the problem.

Lions and lambs ok. Cartoons not so much.

Puppets and men lacking testosterone , talking like fools, are fine for teaching the alphabet, reading or numbers, but not serious religion

Even as a Presbyterian Calvinist kid, we learned the Bible stories, old and new with serious figures on a flannel graff etc. We built the temple out of a shoe box and learned the ten commandments as written. I had to learn whole chapters and psalms as part of my elementary school experience. But we didn't do it frivolously or with puppets and stupid dialogue.

When I went to AC, I knew more about the Bible, the stories and the background than any five Imperial School dorks put together.

Sunday school was not where Big Bird or Jelly Fartmonger taught anything lol

Douglas Becker said...

Yes, we need a muppets style feature for the kids to teach them about the Big Bang and evolution!

Some cute fuzzy character asks the question, "What's the Gap Theory?".

Some bright yellow muppet animal wants to know, "What's Intelligent Design?".

Some purple grouch character pops up out of a garbage can and wants to know, "How does Natural Selection work?".

Douglas Becker said...

Or better yet, we could have a daily muppet show about cults, addressing such question as what a false prophet is.

It would be interesting to see what commercial sponsor it would have.

They could have famous guests show up... (and some skit about a false prophet going to prison for Income Tax evasion -- while we're talking about fantasy here). It would be fun to see a muppet trial for all that.

Train your kids early....

Byker Bob said...

A better role model might be Rocky and Bullwinkle. Or Disneyland. Both were created to address participants in a multi-level manner. Rocky and Bullwinkle was amusing to children, for sure. However, an adult preparing dinner in the kitchen, within earshot, would always find himself saying "What???" and then laughing.

At Disneyland, creators of exhibits are known as "Imagineers". They design the park so that one would see a completely different world from a child's height than from that of an adult.

In any of the ACOGs, probably children are taught more about "Mr. Armstrong" than about Jesus. That's the nature of a cultic system, and why we call it a cult in the first place.


Anonymous said...

Maybe the COGs consider a "Mr.Jesus" puppet???

Anonymous said...

Hi, all,
It's me, Jelly!
I just got back from a long journey.
I got smooshed and spread on a piece of bread and put in Malm's mom's toaster.
Then, I went through a wormhole to briefly visit Hell! (I noticed HWA and Paul were there playing poker together)
Then I came back through the wormhole and am now sitting in the toaster.
And I'm getting bored. And cold. Apparently Malm's mommy has gone out to yell at Malm's ex-wife for leaving her darling son, so I'm here all alone on toast, sticking out of the toaster.

But like I said, I'm getting bored, so if anyone has any spare issues of Tiger Beat or Toaster Life magazines, please send them to me.


Head Usher said...

When I was young, I thought of god as being a little like Felix the Cat, since he had that bag of tricks and everything. All he would need to do is pull a universe out of his bag and he'd be god.

Now that I'm older, and need a sort of rational consistency throughout my understanding of everything (which led to god once again seeming like not much more than a cartoon in the style of the great epic poetry) god once again seems like Felix and his magic bag. For all we know, god could be a cat, and Jesus could be his friend, sort of like Poindexter. Or I guess he could be his owner. Whatever.

Anyway, what religions say about the creator cannot be literally true because of the human tendency to take real stories and "juice them up" over time. Homer, Virgil, Moses, and the apostles, all tell stories that don't quite fit into the real world anymore, even though they probably all began with a true story. Troy is an actual city that was sacked, King Arthur may have been an Anglo-Saxon chieftan, and Beowulf may have been an actual Norse warrior. But then, like a "fish that got away" story, they just slowly changed over time to include all sorts of superhuman feats, supernatural characters, and magical occurrences.

Why not include a cat with a magic bag among the other bible stories? It will probably help children understand "serious religion" a lot better also. That way, when your kids asks one of those questions about the bible that just makes you scratch your head, you don't have to tell them the truth, that they've made a good point and that it doesn't make any sense to you either, you can just tell them about Felix and how his magic bag fixes everything. They might not really understand at the time, but later on, they'll adjust to reality much better than if you give them the standard church answer.

Or you could skip the cartoon cat and just tell them the truth. The choice is yours.

Head Usher said...

BTW, I love the title. Maybe they could anoint the puppet with oil, and he could become Apostle Jelly. Or else we could just start referring to him as Apostle Jelly. Either way works for me. It just seems so fitting.

UT, He Whose Name Must be Blotted Out of this Bog said...

5 With all the things to complain about in the UCG, I'll leave Jelly alone.

All the Armstrongites have their untouchable sacred cows.

As far as sacred cows go, at least Jelly is a bit cuter then the rest.

It's easy to see why UCG'ers feel they need to defend their dear Jelly from the ridicule of others.

As long as sacred cows have teats there will always be hangers-on - just like in this part of Armstrongland.

Painful Truth said...

"Christ said we adults should become like. I encourage you to spend more time trying to help others and less time slamming videos that were intended for children."

Yes, trying to help others! Like earthquake victims, hurricane victims, the widows and orphans.

The churches of God do none of these things. They depend on the "government" to do these things and express the belief that "the dead should bury the dead."

Why in the world would this cog person even look at a website that exposes the folly and hypocrisy of armstrongism?

Douglas Becker said...

Why not include a cat with a magic bag among the other bible stories?

Because the word "cat" and "cats" does not appear in Scripture.

Which is curious, seeing how the Israelites were in Egypt where cats were worshipped (and not without good reason!).

Other feline type animals are mentioned, but lions just don't purr and even tigers don't purr breathing in and out -- it's just not the same.

Or at least, that's what Mikey would have me believe.

Assistant Deacon said...

UT's pronouncements continue:

"As long as sacred cows have teats there will always be hangers-on -- just like in this part of Armstrongland."

It may be uncomfortable for you to deal with people without putting them in categories, UT, but perhaps you should broaden your perspective.

Maybe "hanging on," as you characterize it, occurs not by choice, but because family and friends -- in many cases, MANY family and friends -- remain in Armstrongland. Such people couldn't escape it all if they tried.

And maybe, just maybe, there are rational, intelligent posters here who contribute their thoughts in the hope that those still in Armstrongland -- and the sense is there are many such people who frequent this site -- will consider that there is another side of the story.

Are there people here who just gripe and grouse and are a tad obsessed? Could be. On the other hand, are there people in Armstrongland who sit and just lap up whatever is said from the pulpit or disseminated from their particular group's HQ office? No doubt.

This stuff can be tough to shake. In many, if not most, people's lives, it never really happens, in part due to the reason mentioned above. People have to hang on, yes -- but for dear life, because this all proves to be one wild ride.