Monday, May 27, 2013

Dave Pack Declares Petra Is No Longer The Place of Safety



A while back Dave took a large group of his HQ staff to Petra to scout it out as the "place of final training."  At great expense to the tithe paying members of the Restored Church of God it was all expenses paid as Dave wined and dined his fellow travelers.

A problem arose when Dave and crew got there; they were appalled at the number of people that also knew about the place.  It was over run by hoards of unclean unconverted people.  Hotels outside the entrance, food vendors and restaurants.  Hundreds and hundreds of buses and travel vans vomiting out thousands of the unwashed masses.

Those unwashed masses don't even take into count the supposed tens of thousands of COG members from hundreds and hundreds of splinter groups who will also be gathering there.  Can't you just see it now - out side the narrow passage way will be Pack, Flurry, Meredith, Franks, et all,  fighting over who gets to go in first and who is going to be the grand leader for the next 3 1/2 years.  There would be no need to be sent to the lake of fire, this would certainly be 3 1/2 years of pure hell with all of these buffoons there together.

It was sooooooo appallingly disgusting to Dave that he has decided the Petra is no longer the place of safety.  He hasn't quit yet figured out where it will be, but you can be assured it will be the most incredible place on the planet.  God's most incredible super-duper COG can't be relegated to some over-trod place like Petra anymore,  It's faaaaaaaaaaar too common.    God's most superfantabulous COG ever, has to have a special place beyond all expectations.   Is Wadsworth prepared for Dave's super enormous and spectacularly large group of 1,200 all gathering at RCG's HQ for 3 1/2 years?


12 comments:

Anonymous said...

I was in Petra once, and while hiking down an isolated hill, who do I run into? My old minister and his wife from the WCG days, who were on a Feast tour with another splinter group. So, I've been there and done that.

Anonymous said...

Pack and Flurry have both decided Petra isn't the POS. So much for following all that the so-called end-time Elijah restored.

Douglas Becker said...

Antarctica.

DennisCDiehl said...

Just in from Rochester. I was going to stop in Wadsworth and get some pics but I was assured that the place was very secure and I would either be arrested for trespass or my body buried in a shallow grave where the next building would be going. :)

DennisCDiehl said...

However, I understand Dave is in the middle of a loose change drive among the members which is probably about all they have left if you know how much he has squeezed them for already. After all, you can't give it all but one time.

But a change drive? Times must be tough

Corky said...

I'm surprised that Pack didn't grab a cat-o-nine-tails and chase the money changers out of that sacred place.

Maybe the ACoGers don't realize this but those cut out of rock temples there are to (shudder) PAGAN GODS! Yessiree Bob, er, Dave, pagans lived in that place and is probably haunted by the ghost of Christmas Past...you never know.

These guys would make a great reality show for tv, wouldn't they, inserted between "Storage Wars" and "American Hoggers"?

Joe Moeller said...

Is Intercourse, Pennsylvania (yes, its a real place) still in the running for the POS?

Joe Moeller
Cody, WY

Anonymous said...

After reading this article, this is what I can say:

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Once more with feelings:

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Head Usher said...

Yes it is, Joe, and a great place to pick up a t-shirt or two. I was always surprised it wasn't chosen for a feast site. That way everyone could say that Intercourse was where god had chosen to place his name. And why shouldn't he? There's nothing wrong with Intercourse.

Joe Moeller said...

LOL @ Corkys post above!

Actually I would place a COG reality show between "American Pickers" and "Pawn Stars"...

or perhaps between "Oddities" and "Taboo"

Joe Moeller
Cody, WY

Allen C. Dexter said...

This place of safety nonsense is all so lame. Delusional prophecies interpreted by even more delusional prophetic experts (in their eyes). I guess I'll have to write down my next nightmare and put it online. Do you think some idiot will pick it up and start preaching prophetic certainties about it? To think, I used to believe this crap!

Byker Bob said...

What strikes me is that apparently this is an example of someone actually realizing fact, and allowing a cherished doctrine of Armstrongism to be subject to change or revision.

I can think of several other HWA doctrines which are ripe for reexamination, but am not holding my breath.

What I find to be curious is that Pack apparently visualizes himself as some sort of Joshua, yet his report on Petra is more similar to the spies who fomented fear of the giants!

BB