Thursday, July 18, 2013

Oh, Just Get Over It!



I had a person contact me tonight  that sounds like he is part of Flurry's cult.  One of his comments was, "Get over it!"

On Facebook today there was a reference to seem of the comments by Darlene Quimet on her blog, "Emerging From Broken: From Surviving to Thriving On The Journey To Wholeness"


Being told to “just get over it” is devaluing. It implies that I am making a mistake in processing an event. It indicates that something is wrong with ME because I am in still confused about something that has not been resolved.  The statement is emotionally abusive.  And even when it is used in a positive context, as in the example in the first paragraph, there is a negative left over from all the abuse that was forced on me in the past. 
 
WHY is it wrong to need to have something understood or resolved in the first place?

Furthermore, people who say stuff like this don’t have any solutions; they don’t ever offer suggestions on HOW to get over it or deal with it, because they don’t know how either. 

 They only offer devaluing and thoughtless instructions that remind me of my childhood and how I was never right, never good enough and never entitled to my feelings or to my pain. I was not entitled to realize that I had been wronged. I was always the one who was wrong no matter what the situation was. 

And once again this all began in childhood. Being conditioned this way as a child prepared me to accept that something was wrong with me, so statements like this trigger the same feelings of “not good enough” and “what is wrong with me, why can’t I just get it right?” Add that to “powerless and helpless child” and the teachings, feelings as well as the reactions have carried on into adulthood. 

Until I learned that I do have rights, that I am as equally valuable as everyone else and that I AM ALLOWED to and NEED TO feel the pain of the past and get angry about it SO THAT I COULD “get over it” (which was how I did get over it) but until I embraced those truths, I was stuck in the sick dysfunctional system.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

I saw that post tonight ion Facebook. My favorite comment in that entire thread was from one of HWA's relatives:

"People who try to shut you down and tell you to "get over it" - have LOTS of unresolved shit. But they shut you down because they don't want to deal with their unresolved shit, and seeing you deal with YOURS makes them uncomfortable. So really, they are being not just cruel to you by invalidating your experiences and shutting you down, but also they are denying themselves what could be a big WAKE UP CALL. When you start speaking your truth, the only people who will try to shut you up are people who are living a LIE."

Redfox712 said...

I have no time for people who say stupid stuff like, Get over it.

They just do not want to deal with it. They are intellectually lazy.

Such people only help to preserve and strengthen the dysfunctional status quo.

Douglas Becker said...

It wouldn't be so insulting if it weren't for the fact that the ones saying "Oh, just get over it," are not just the ones who created the problem in the first place, but are still doing horrific deeds (like the posts from Rotten Ronnie Swineland).

So as you scoundrels get thrown into the Lake of Fire, be prepared to hear your victims yell at you, "Oh, just get over it!"

Anonymous said...

Wheres this FB? - RSK

NO2HWA said...

The FB page is "I can't wait for sundown and other musings"

NO2HWA said...

Self righteous bible thumpers or defenders of Armstrongusm do not last more than one post. No one takes crap from these kinds of people.

Byker Bob said...

Over the years, I've come to see it as just another cliche. It's one of the dismissive things that people still involved in and who still actually like the Armstrong problem parrot and say. It illustrates that we are all in different stages of growth, and I usually take that into considration when I hear it. As Armstrong cliches go, it's certainly not the worst. How many times have most of us been told that we are going to the Lake of Fire by the more mean-spirited ones, will probably come up in the second resurrection by the kinder, or may have to suffer at the hands of their Germans by still others? It is the only way in which they can deal with the fact that we have learned to think differently from themselves. Sometimes, the less secure feel threatened by that.

Fact is, there are times I've actually agreed with them that yes, I would be better off by getting over certain things. Not that I would give them them the satisfaction of openly agreeing with them. I'd rather have them think I'd been listening to the Eagles' song of the same name! I don't consider Don Henley to be presumptuous when he sings those words, but unfortunately, most of the COGlodytes who throw it about are being presumptuous and invasive, just like their church.

I guess you might say that I've gotten over "Get over it." Like any cliche, it loses it's impact by nature of its repetition.

BB

Joe Moeller said...

I say...

The people who keep telling everyone to "Just Get Over It" need to "Just Get Over It" in telling people that!

Joe Moeller
Cody, WY

Douglas Becker said...

You don't "just get over" PTSD.

Anonymous said...

ehh...things didn't go the way you wanted, and you can't turn it loose...it's a symptom of wanting to "be in control"...

you want vengence, payback....

people would be much happier if they realized that we don't control much of anything in this world...

what happened in the past is the past,...it's not happening now, so stop worrying about it and get on with your life...HWA is dead and can't do anything to you, but you keep resurrecting him and suffering because of it....maybe there's a bit of masochism in it.

learn from the past, don't do the things that cause you grief, and don't worry about the things that do if you aren't causing it yourself.

The Eagles have the right idea.

Anonymous said...

good balanced comments. When I was told that , I felt defective as I was not making some kind of progress or totally off schedule for such things. Now, it is what it is and each has their own experience, disappointments and consequences to deal with. So I be me and you be you in each journey
dd

Anonymous said...

"Oh, Just Get Over It!" Passing things over with unresolved issues is from satan himself. "Let it be" brings destruction. Those that agree to continue are themselves guilty of the same. It is obvious to me that all these Armstrongists do not want to face facts and block you if you give them verses stating the opposite of what these false prophets say. They love lies. Itching ears and being comfortable is not from above. "When you start speaking your truth, the only people who will try to shut you up are people who are living a LIE." SO VERY TRUE!

Anonymous said...

The "Just get over it!" comment is one which has been stated over and over again by brainwashed adherents of all sorts of nasty cults.

It's quite worn out, now.

Frankly, it should probably be taken as a compliment!

Anonymous said...

I believe anon is right, suggesting it's a tactic used by cult members to shut down criticism of their crazy cults.

Of course, "getting over things" has it's right and proper place and time, but, how "JUST GET OVER IT!" is used by brainwashed cult members is another thing entirely!

Byker Bob said...

It may also be used by people from outside the Armstrong problem, but one thing is certain: It has become an Armstrongist shibboleth.

BB