Saturday, November 30, 2013

Orange Bob Spends Millions On A New Set Design!

After getting mocked and ridiculed for many months now over his crooked bookcases, cluttered shelves, door knobs by his head, and a doorway as the backdrop for his mind-boggling Internet ministry, the Chief Overseer and worlds greatest and most accurate prophet, has went out and dropped some money on a new set.

Bob went out this past week and dropped a couple million on a new set.  He bought a projector screen and ha sit as his backdrop now.  The only problem is that even with the screen he has no "set sense."  Why have the screen most of the way down your backside and then leave a small gap so we can stare of the clutter still on your bookshelves?

Dear Bob......PLEASE have your wife give you some make-up tips!  Orange Bob is not appealing to look at.  Get rid of the spray tan, dude, seriously!


Joe Moeller said...

New "BANNED" Poll...

Is Dr. Thiel wearing "makeup" or not?

My vote is that he is!

What say ye all?

Joe Moeller
Cody, WY

NO2HWA said...

Thanks Joe! I forget to mention Bob's new "orange" look. Even HWA had better make-up sense than he does!

Richard said...

At least you call him Orange Bob... and not Crooked Bob. :-/

Byker Bob said...

Assuming that I had a friend preparing videos, and assuming he wanted a professional looking backdrop, I would probably spend a Saturday afternoon putting up some nice curtains. If he wanted to be more elaborate, most FEDEX Kinkos locations have wide format printers, capable of usage to create "scenery" to make it appear that Thiel is broadcasting from Jerusalem, or anywhere else in the world.

If this dude is going to cut the mustard as a broadcaster, he's going to need to develop a little creativity.

I don't even want to think of the monstrosity he would probably make of his face if he attempted to use some of his wife's makeup. I'm imagining him in "Snookie" eyes. That'd be enough to make Dave Pack need to leave his own sabbath services to go to the bathroom!


seekingtruth7 said...

It does seem that he would have made the effort to look more professional from the start. His reacting to comments made on this and other cog-watching sites, reminds me of how the government responds to polls in an attempt to stay in good favor with the public. If he is truly sincere and convinced that he is doing "God's Work," then he should just do it and not worry about what others are saying. It just makes him look less and less credible.

Also, if he truly wants to claim web site activity as accomplishing his mission, then he should have buttons on his site where visitors can show why they are there. I can't help but feel that the majority are there for entertainment purposes, not to learn any actual truth.

There once was the little engine that could...this is the little minister that can't!

Anonymous said...

a new pair of eyeglasses would help a lot...those make him look like he's squinting all the time.

Head Usher said...

@ Seeking Truth:

I agree that his approval-seeking belies the fact that he has no god-hookup, and that his writing is really just pandering to a certain constituency. However, he is not now, nor was he ever a lowly "minister" in any church and to my knowledge he doesn't even claim to be one now, even though now that he is the chief overseer and lord-high-muckymuck of his own church, I suppose he could ordain himself now. No, instead, he vaulted right over even his ex-favorite HWA clone RCM, to the vaunted position of "false prophet".

So he's the orange false prophet that can't.

RSK said...

Ick. This TV man is disgusted. Insufficient lighting, bad camera framing and positioning. The white roll of paper/cheap (dirty) screen is not a big improvement. Bob, come on. This is stuff you can learn in less than thirty minutes of reading and improve for less than a hundred dollars. I see better-looking work than this in high school "Intro to Television" courses.

Byker Bob said...

Axially, Since Thiel is based in the Peoples' Republic of California, he would probably attract more followers if he were to establish the Herbert W. Armstrong Memorial Medical Marijuana Dispensary.

He could wrap the marijuana in his articles, which might make more sense when one is stoned anyway. I can just see the names for some of the product: Herbal Essence, Roddy Red, Dr. Thielgood Thai stick, and HWAhacan would be some of my suggestions.

Since he is a doctor, he might even be able to write his own prescriptions! This could end up being just the marketing technique everyone has been looking for to bring Armstrongism into the new millennium!