Tuesday, March 11, 2014

E. W. King: God's Greatest Endtime Ministry Going Forth From A Rocking Chair




After seeing this video I want to sell all my belongings and join up with this mind boggling work!

Imagine sending your message to the world from a rocking chair in your living room dressed in your dirty jeans.  I guess if Bob Thiel can do it with crooked bookcases and doorknobs by his head, King can do it in a rocking chair with a crooked lampshade.


30 comments:

Anonymous said...

You people are absolutely disgusting! You will regret the day you make fun of God's servants on this disgusting site when you are forced to kneel before God before he throws your sorry asses into the lake of fire. You are all nothing more than pimples on Satan's ass!

Anonymous said...

Say what you will about E.W.'s theology, but I've gotta say if I could have sat through WCG services in jeans and a comfy rocker I probably wouldn't have minded it half as much.

Allen C. Dexter said...

The reason I visit this site at least once a day, and often more, is to see the lunacy falling apart all over the place. These jokers have taken what Herbert so craftily built and demolished it step by step. They're so ludicrous that I have no shortage of jokers to laugh at.

Anonymous said...

I think the "pimples on Satans ass" gave it away as a troll :)

Joe Moeller said...

King does say a unique truth that I agree with completely, in the first minute of his video...

"This ministry is very different than any other Bible teachings you have ever heard".

To this EW King, I can safely say that all who are reading this whole heartedly agree completely! Yes, You Are VERY DIFFERENT! LOL!

Joe Moeller
Cody, WY
(2014 UCG Council- Write In Candidate)

Joe Moeller said...

King does say a unique truth that I agree with completely, in the first minute of his video...

"This ministry is very different than any other Bible teachings you have ever heard".

To this EW King, I can safely say that all who are reading this whole heartedly agree completely! Yes, You Are VERY DIFFERENT! LOL!

Joe Moeller
Cody, WY
(2014 UCG Council- Write In Candidate)

Joe Moeller said...

King looks a little bit like Mr. Rodgers here, sitting in the rocker, chatting with us...

I CAN SEE IT NOW...JUST LIKE THE BEGINNING OF MR.ROGERS NEIGHBORHOOD , BUT WITH EW KING SINGING TO US AT THE BEGINNING OF THE VIDEO....

It's a beautiful day in this crazy cult,
A beautiful day for a new member,
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?

So let's make the most of this beautiful day,
Since we're together, we might as well say,
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won't you beeee... my cult member?

Won't you please,
Won't you please,
Please won't you beeee... my cult member?

Luv,
Joe Moeller
Cody, WY
(2014 UCG Council- Write In Candidate)

Head Usher said...

"You people are absolutely disgusting! You will regret the day you make fun of God's servants on this disgusting site when you are forced to kneel before God before he throws your sorry asses into the lake of fire. You are all nothing more than pimples on Satan's ass!"

A bit too over-the-top for me to believe this person meant this to be taken seriously. If I try to look at it from a quirky enough angle, I guess I could understand how someone might think this was a pretty funny joke. Especially when you consider it's supposed to be a defense of E.w...

Good one, Anon. "Lake of fire" LOL.

old EXPCG hag said...



Anonymous Anonymous said...

You people are absolutely disgusting! You will regret the day you make fun of God's servants on this disgusting site when you are forced to kneel before God before he throws your sorry asses into the lake of fire. You are all nothing more than pimples on Satan's ass!

March 11, 2014 at 1:33 PM

I love this! You took the words right out of my mouth. I would have worded it more like...

You people,>PCG hierarchy,(namely) are absolutely disgusting! You will regret the day you make fun of God's servants, accuse them of bullshit and throw them and their children out on their ass, after you tried to rid them of their biological families and isolate them so they would have no where else to go or have no family ties outside the >compound< and after you used, abused, slandered, intimidated, coerced, and recently harassing me on my home phone and cell phone >just today< and have the nerve to turn it all around and post on this wonderful, enlightening, and quite amusing and informative site. Soon you will be forced to kneel before God and >Christ<(REMEMBER HIM...HMMM??) before he throws your sorry asses into the lake of fire. You are all nothing more than pimples on Satan's ass!


Black Ops Mikey said...

I have yet to make fun of God's servants, none of which are in the Armstrongist churches of God led by false prophets.

Ronald Weinland tried this by cursing those who made fun of him and he ended up in prison while his critics have lived a decent life and not suffered consequences of Weinland's curses.

And tch, tch to anonymous: Judge not lest ye be judged -- is there a lake of fire in anonymous' future according to Scripture.

Time will tell.

Bless and curse not....

Ha! Ha! Anonymous is funny.

Assistant Deacon said...

Wait -- Satan has an ass?

James said...

"Anonymous said...
You people are absolutely disgusting! You will regret the day you make fun of God's servants on this disgusting site when you are forced to kneel before God before he throws your sorry asses into the lake of fire. You are all nothing more than pimples on Satan's ass!
"

I would rather jump into the lake of fire head first than ever have anything to do with this idiot.

Religious masturbation.

Anonymous said...

Where does a future spirit being galactic ruler sit when he gives a sermon?

Anywhere he wants!

old EXPCG hag said...


Anonymous Assistant Deacon said...

Wait -- Satan has an ass?

March 11, 2014 at 6:22 PM

LOLLL>(Laughing Out Loud Like Lucifer)

Anonymous said...

"Wait -- Satan has an ass?"

Well sure he does! It's Mr. E. W. King!

Anonymous said...

I watched for a few seconds til he said, "different than any other ministry that you may have come acrosst"...

"acrosst"???

Yep, I checked again and he very clearly pronounces the "t" in his pseudo-word, "acrosst"!

So sorry, Eric- you are now on my "NO TITHES FOR YOU!" list!

Anonymous said...

LOL Joe, that's funny!

It could also apply to the "United" Church of God, with United's spokesclown Jelly riding on a cow singing (with Mr. Rogers' music playing in the background), "Won't you please, Won't you please, Please won't you beeee... my cult member?"!

Maybe the mailman Mr. McFeeley can bring spokesclown Jelly letters to read- like, "Dear UCG leadership people, Why did you lie and disfellowship so many people for believing the same things you did, throwing so many people under the bus while you plotted in secrecy to retain your incomes and positions of power?"

Byker Bob said...

Our disgusted Satanic gluteal dermatologist could be one of those sacred cusser people, commenting in accordance with the tenets of his or her beliefs, and not a troll at all!

If memory serves me correctly, the sacred cussers teach that it only counts as sin or corrupt communication if you swear using correct ancient Hebrew profanity. The more liberal ones add Aramaic to this, while Laodicean sacred cussers even include Greek.

I consulted my Nave's dictionary of ancient street slang, and the Hebrew rendition of the phrase "pimple on Satan's ass" was very popular in about 215 CE in the antenicene South, meaning this person is probably from southern Georgia or north Florida. Maybe we could confirm this by determining what region his or her feed came from on the 4G LBT network.

BB

Sweetblood777 said...

Since sitting on a rocking chair with a crooked lamp shade, is of no significance and should not enter the conversation, I will try to stick with the main issue, and that is what makes this guy any different than the other 700 or 800?

What was said by him, could only be taken as milk of the word, though he did add more personal opinions to entice the ignorant, to follow him.

In short, listening to him was similar to listening to a bad speech at Spokesman's club.

Anonymous said...

Imagine seeing him and Thiel speaking in a Spokesman's Club and HWA.GTA sitting there observing them. What would they think?

Anonymous said...

Oh lordy! The wrath of a Kingite. We are so frightened!

Anonymous said...

We need a "rock-off", with rockabilly background music to help us choose (with help from the Holy Rockspirit) which end-time ministry totally rocks.

Perhaps Fred, Barney, Wilma, Betty, or Baby Puss will help lead us, since Mr. Armstrong is dead.

Anonymous said...

Get the net !

Retired Prof said...

One anonymous expresses contempt for Eric King's usage, complaining that he "very clearly pronounces the "t" in his pseudo-word, 'acrosst'!"

"So sorry, Eric- you are now on my "NO TITHES FOR YOU!" list!"

You are wise in declining to send tithes to Mr. King, but you can find much better reasons. "Acrost" is not a pseudo-word. Lexicographers say that any form regularly used by native English speakers in English sentences is a word. Some such words are too rare to make it into dictionaries, but as a matter of fact "acrost" is a form used in most parts of the U.S., and the Dictionary of American Regional English includes it. True, college-educated persons seldom say it; thus it serves as a social class marker.

So a paraphrase of your post could read like this: "Only the upper classes deserve my consideration. I refuse to pay attention to what my inferiors have to say."

Follow Sweetblood777's example and "try to stick with the main issue." There you will find plenty of legitimate reasons to reject Mr. King's message.




Anonymous said...

I disagree with Sweetblood777. A crooked lampshade is entirely germane to this discussion. That's the rack he keeps it on when he's not wearing it on his head. A fact I think is more than a little relevant.

Anonymous said...

Yep, "acrost" is a dialectal variant of across.
No snobbery was intended. I was using the "NO TITHES FOR YOU!" as a variant of the "NO SOUP FOR YOU!" phrase from Seinfeld's "Soup Nazi" episode.
For sure, there are many legitimate reasons for not sending money to Eric W. King, irregardless of his grammars.

Anonymous said...

In my experience, "acrost" almost always identifies someone as being from Maryland, especially Bmore. I've never known anyone to say it who wasn't from there.

Anonymous said...

Say what you will. His message agrees with Scripture. Most here are concerned about outward appearances and how Eric pronounces this or that word. You guys are monkeys looking for a banana.

Anonymous said...

Why do you only post people who think like you do here? Are you a
CULT?

You guys make fun of God's servant Eric W. King but he has much more love and peace to offer than all the hate you post here.
I realize that you will not post this because you are nothing but controlled media!

Anonymous said...

Something to think about. Eric W. King knew David Koresh. His teachings have many simularities. Here are some:

*David Koresh taught the Sabbath.
So does Eric

*David Koresh taught a pre-adamic earth. So does Eric.

*David Koresh taught that the dead live in our future. Eric does also.

*David Koresh taught the 7 feasts. So does Eric.

*David Koresh taught that he was the 7th messenger. Eric teaches in essence he is David Koresh in "spirit".

*David Koresh had more than one wife. So does Eric but he does not call them wives he calls them "the 7 women".

*David Koresh was the messenger of the 7 Seals Prophecy...now Eric is the completion of the Seven Seals Messenger.

etc......