Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Do You Kneel Before Your Bible and Worship It?



When was the last time you put your Bible on a chair and knelt down in front of it.  Hopefully no one here ever has or will.  This follower of the Kitchen's does


 
Mr Armstrong had a teaching. Enter a room with your Bible and a chair. The chair is for the Bible. Your place is on your knees, in front of the Bible.
A comment on a video the Kitchen Triumvirate had posted on the Herbert Armstrong idolatry page..

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

“One must be certain, however, NEVER to use an office chair, or any other chair with wheels. Wrong contact will result in it rolling away from you (symbolizing that the meaning of what’s in the book on the chair is escaping you). When you then bow, your expectation of having your face on the book, an intimate contact, will instead be losing your balance, going all the way to the floor and breaking your nose.”
Seriously, though, it is distressing how EASY it is to imagine any Armstrong-worshiper putting forth with some recommended practice like this “chair thing.” So many had some idea, which they were excited to tell you, and which they were sure proved they were better than you at being . . . whatever it was we were trying to be. And it came from the pulpit, too. “What I would do,” the minister would say, followed by something it was sinful not to listen to, very carefully.

old EXPCG hag said...

HWA was so into HIMSELF and obviously DETAILS. The more money he accumulated the worse the details got. Like the one about how he would get a massage by toweling his body off briskly to keep the circulation going. I remember a regional director in the PCG talking about how he does that very same thing emulating HWA >HIS IDOL<.
"Hey HWA, forget about yourself and start thinking about someone else for a change, how bout it?"...signed Jesus.

Byker Bob said...

And, I am sure they believe that it should be the proper King James Version, at that.

I bet they would have all manner of things to say about someone whose Bible had a cross attached to the book mark, or who prayed to God the Holy Spirit as they knelt.

BB

Corky said...

Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph and Moses had no Bible...so how did they know the "will of God"? His laws etc?

'Cause, see, "God" spoke to them and told 'em stuff in visions and dreams. But, that all ended when some priests and scribes put a Bible together during and after the Babylonian exile. Yep, and in a language that was already a dead language that no one could read except the priests and scribes.

And then, later, it was translated into Greek and bunches of people could read it - and worship it. It was from that translation, the Septuagint, that Xianity was invented. As it turns out though, the Septuagint wasn't an accurate translation and mistakes were made...

Connie Schmidt said...

I actually would!

If it was an ELECTRIC CHAIR!

Anonymous said...

There's no good reason that the Bible need a chair to set on in the kitchen.

The Holy Spirit suggests that, kitchen-wise, the food processor is a good place for it, since that can make many of it's discrepancies less discrepant.

Redfox712 said...

I have never heard HWA say anything like that. Even since I was deceptively recruited into Armstrongism back in 2000 I had never heard of this practice.

RSK said...

I don't recall HWA teaching this one, especially not later in life where it probably would have been hard for him to get off the floor! :)

But maybe he did somewhere in his corpus and I don't remember it.

Head Usher said...

"Like the one about how he would get a massage by toweling his body off briskly to keep the circulation going.

I wonder what message god whispered in his ear while briskly toweling off Dorothy's body? Oh, he didn't mention that one? I wonder why not. I guess we'll have to wait for the midrash on that.

Such idolatry of a man who was as unworthy of even normal respect as they come. If are any gods, which I feel sure there are not, but if there are, surely they are making a mockery out of all those who seek to "please" them. As if it were possible for a mortal to "please" a god...

Anonymous said...

This is one of the lamest criticisms of Armstrong imaginable. Clearly, the idea was to alternate bible reading (listening to God) with prayer (talking to God), that's it. It obviously never had anything to do with worshiping the bible. No matter where you kneel you are kneeling in front of something, even if it's only a bed or the wall. Does that mean you worship the wall?

Connie Schmidt said...

If Im not mistaken, on the original post it looks like a picture of the infamous Carrie A. Nation, a leading prohibiitionist in her day.

From Wikipedia...
Carrie Amelia Moore Nation (first name also spelled Carry; November 25, 1846 – June 9, 1911) was an American woman who was a radical member of the temperance movement, which opposed alcohol before the advent of Prohibition. She is particularly noteworthy for promoting her viewpoint through vandalism. Nation frequently attacked the property of alcohol-serving establishments (most often taverns) with a hatchet.

Anonymous said...

I met a person wearing a religious bracelet.
It read, "WWJD"

I asked what it stood for, and he said, "Where Would Jesus Dine?"

This was at Taco Bell. I made no attempt to break into the kitchen to see if there was a Bible on a chair farting out secret recipes.

DennisCDiehl said...

Mr. Kitchen needs a good read of Bart Erhman's, "Forged. Writing in th name of God. Why the Bible Authors are Not Who We Think They Are."

Anonymous said...

Hey, Armstrongism went that way at times too. Hoeh had a booklet at one point talking about the fine points of praying facing east or west, in the 50s I believe. -RSK

NO2HWA said...

Dennis: Herbert Armstrong did not write it, so he won't read it.