Tuesday, May 13, 2014

UCG on Turkey Bacon Or "Ignore the dork and eat pork"




The Facebook page that has this on it is descibes this guy perfectly:

This dork goes to UCG, my parents church. Try not to be too embarrassed for him.

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

What is wrong with UCG???? First the creepy blue Muppet singing about the 10 commandments and now this????? Are these people for real????? Is this what UCG's ABC is graduating?

Ed said...

They might as well put this dork on their telecast. The current presenters are not bringing in any new people judging by the continuing shrinkage of that group.

Anonymous said...

In the process of slowly leaning mainstream (emphasis on the slowly) they've decided to encourage personal ministries among the general members. I don't think they're calling it that yet, but bacon by another name would smell the same. Hence Jelly and this embarrassment. If they were mainstream, or if Armstrongism didn't come off as the strange brew that it is in these dumb videos, then maybe it wouldn't have been such a bad idea. But it does and it is. My guess is these personal ministries do more harm than good, but if you ask me, that's a good thing for the world at large. I hope they keep up the bad work!

As for pork versus turkey, the justification of biblical food laws that Pervert Armstrong, and now UCG and this embarrassment regurgitate ad nauseum don't add up. Pigs and birds eat a lot of the same things. So you can't justify the biblical food laws by saying that pigs are garbage disposals, because so are chickens and turkeys. It's just more bronze-age bullshit that they're scraping the bottom of an empty barrel to find "support" for. Eat pork or don't eat it, but don't make your decision based upon bullshit and non sequiturs.

Silence said...

We know this guy. He is a basket case and an ABC grad. He is one of the hardcore conservative UCG members and a favorite at the Home Office.

RSK said...

Ugh. I managed to sit through to about the halfway point, but I had to stop there. That was just... well, dorky and pointless.

Anonymous said...

There's one other problem. Turkey bacon is kinda gross!

Also, speaking of toxins, what about the increase in risk in colorectal cancer that comes with eating processed meats? And the fact that frying them can turn those nitrate and nitrite additives into carcinogens? Anything your bible doesn't specifically outlaw is a-ok? When it comes to diet, listening to religious dogma has people straining at gnats and swallowing camels. Even if pork were as bad for you as Armstrongites think, the processing, plus all the shenanigans in how they're commercially raising animals these days, could make those "clean" meats even worse for you that whatever it is that is supposed to be wrong with pork. But I guess you won't be "thrown in the lake of fire" for eating extra-mercury-laden farmed salmon. Nope, that's reserved for those infidels who eat pork. So, don't bother saying there's some "health" rationale here. Even if there once was, there isn't anymore. Anyhow, for Armstrongites it's just about hopefully getting to rule the unclean masses with that fancy rod of iron, just like everything else.

Anonymous said...

I kind if feel dirty after watching this. Extremely creepy!

Assistant Deacon said...

I know plenty of people who choose not to eat pork for health reasons, who do not do it based on a religious belief.

But who sits around making videos about it? Especially with this many shots and edits? This is just strange.

Connie Schmidt said...

Dorks need love too!

...and how "dorky" is it of all of us to be coming to Banned for a past time? Let us all confess to our own "dorkiness" LOL!

RSK said...

I don't think we spend near that amount of time on Banned :)

Anonymous said...

Why is UCG so obsessed over bacon? They are still playing HWA's words from the 1930's and 40's on how pork is evil. They never seem to mention the thousands who die from eating beef and chicken! Why not talk about Jesus for once!

Byker Bob said...

I would like to see one of the ACOGs do some sort of public service spot against racism, or organize some good works in their communities on Martin Luther King Day. Maybe a drive for food and clothing for homeless families.
Unfortunately, like the announcer on the Progressive Insurance commercials, if I held my breath waiting for these things, I'd probably rupture my spleen.

BB

old EXPCG hag said...

Isn't he too young to be bald?

Too much stress and insanity going on in UCG?

See, they don't mind you being a dork and talking pork, as long as you don't figure out, what it's really about...hahaha, hey that rimes.

See, I went crazy just watching that.

Anonymous said...

Excellent point, BB. Why don't they encourage their members to begin organizing some sort of actual good work, instead of wasting time and energy on nonsense like this?

I think it has to do with that 19th century command-and-control paradigm that Pervert Armstrong used that is the bedrock upon which the status-conscious culture of every splinter descendant of WCG is based. The ministers are too insecure. They have to be seen being "in charge" of everything. Otherwise it's "out of control." And god knows we can't have any "confusion" because who is the author of that? (Cue the "god is not the author..." recording in our heads) Well, that's the surface justification anyway.

Truthfully, if there's going to be any actual good work or worthwhile endeavor going on, it had better be done under the UCG Good Works program or under the auspices of LifeNets. If it's likely to generate a photo opportunity, it had better generate one for a minister, first and foremost. Notoriety ought to be reserved for the notable, priestly caste after all, not some untouchable hanging onto the fringes, whose worthiness to wind up in the kingdom is questionable under any circumstances.

Besides, the elite luminaries of the priestly caste are, for the most part, concerned with why it is that their cult isn't attracting those hordes of new converts anxious to fill their coffers with cash, and not anything that might benefit people who don't happen to be ministers. Sure, the worthy ones might be willing to make some concessions if someone among the refuse of UCG's unworthy classes figured out how to double their salaries for them. The ministers sure can't think of how to convince the uninitiated to submit to their fleecing, or else they would have done that already, and they'd be rolling in their mega-church dough by now.

If a UCG member who wasn't a minister started an actual charity, and it started to generate outside notoriety for, you know, doing actual good work that normal people cared about, that person would at first be the toast of UCG. He or she would find themselves the subject of articles and featured prominently on the UCG website. But once it started to outshine and put to shame UCG's ministers and their "good work" and this worthless idiot didn't allow it to be coopted and taken over by ministers, he or she would soon find themselves persona non grata. Even if a non-elite (not council-worthy) minister were to do this, he would find he was on shaky political ground. He too might find himself at odds with the council-worthy elite and asked choose where his loyalties lay: your way or "god's" (the council's) way. Some sort of "biblical" charge would be trumped up. It may be lonely at the top, but they wouldn't have it any other way.

So, sure, if UCG can get someone to figure out how to turn UCG into a mega-church, then they might be afforded some leeway. Otherwise, if you value your salvation, which, by the way, you can only get from UCG's elite ministers, then it's best to keep your head down and avoid controversial things like good works. Stick to the trunk of the tree: things like Jewish sabbaths and holy days, or the Mosaic food laws. Bacon is safe territory. UCG is just like Dave Pack, except with better manners, as if better manners would fix what was wrong with Dave.

Connie Schmidt said...

HEY! ---

Closing in on the TWO MILLIONTH Banned internet hit counter person.

Does the winner get an imitation steuben crystal door stopper or something?

Assistant Deacon said...

UCG must be an enigma to the Nth degree.

I have no first-hand experience, other than observing the fiasco(s) that led to the split-off of COGWA, but I get the sense that the Council plays it pretty close to the vest. In other words, when the chips are down, old school authority reigns. That's what I gather from comments I've read.

However, most of the people I know who have remained in the Armstrong tradition via UCG are anything but that. Most are pretty relaxed and low-key, aren't in anyone's face about their beliefs, and are a lot more open-minded than WCGers were through the mid-1980s.

It's almost akin to Catholics, some of whom are hardliners, but most of whom seem to take or leave all the edicts (as long as confession absolves them, I guess). Many Catholics act like being Catholic is part of their heritage as much as it is part of their absolute belief -- like Jews, who are orthodox, liberal, and everything in-between.

True? False? I can't seem to get a take on what the UCG is, what it wants to be, and where it will ultimately end up -- other than it seems they're always a hair's breadth away from another doctrinal shift or organizational schism.

Black Ops Mikey said...

The only way that United is ever going to succeed as a church is to start buying property in large metropolitan areas and set up megachurches with highly charismatic preachers giving a 20 minute sermon bracketed by excellent Chri$tian Mu$ic -- replete with mall sized parking lots and vans to transport the people coming to see the show.

Along with the megachurch, there must be facilities for senior activities, teen activities, basketball courts, swimming pools, cafeteria, skate parks and other sorts of things with all the requisite equipment for rent.

Make it fun to go to church. Sure, it's plastic, but it has broad appeal. Not much in the way of spiritual stuff, but hey, it's something!

But you know... UCG! They're this group of guys which have inherited crap and are meeting to finalize governance with COE sessions whose minutes are Novocaine in print, going,

"Shoot, what do we do now!?"

And I'm not available to advise them any more -- that ended when I gave them process and governance from Weyerhaeuser to set up their little Church Corporate.

They haven't listened to me since.

I'm unimpressed with them.

NO2HWA said...

Connie: how about a bottle of Harvey's Bristol Cream in. Hermes bag?

Byker Bob said...

Anon 1:36, I wonder if Bob Thiel actually thought at some point that he was doing some sort of good work in setting up COGwriter, and maybe the scenario you outlined unfolded on him. The only difference is that the ministry didn't attempt to co-opt Thiel, he ended up co-opting them! Human ego often plays out in diverse and unintended ways.

BB

Anonymous said...

Armstrongism with-out Armstrong is like a car with-out gasoline. It isn't going to go anywhere.

old EXPCG hag said...


Blogger Connie Schmidt said...

HEY! ---

Closing in on the TWO MILLIONTH Banned internet hit counter person.

Does the winner get an imitation steuben crystal door stopper or something?

May 14, 2014 at 6:45 a.m.

LOLLL...Damit! I missed the 9,666 visitor to my page. I had a special door prize for them!

Anonymous said...

As much as Dr. Bob has been trying to play himself off as an authority with his pandering tabloidish books and his cogwriter blog, and now, as a prophet (lolz!), instead of the hack amateur he is (who is this not obvious to?) I can't figure out how Meredith let that go on for as long as he did. It must have just been incremental, like the frog in the pan of water. I mean, after all, according to Meredith, isn't Meredith himself the only one with the red phone direct to god? Not Dr. Bob. In LCG, anything other than Meredith being the world's foremost authority on all things sacred, biblical interpretation, prophecy being fulfilled before your very eyes in the pages of your newspaper, etc., would be heretical, wouldn't it? So of course, when Dr. Bob declared himself a prophet, that had to be the last straw. That was Bob basically saying, "SEE, look at MY red phone!" I'm just surprised that things didn't come to head sooner because his writing career has meant that Bob has been an LCG heretic for a long time. You can't have two separate "world's foremost authorities" in one organization, let alone two red phone lines.

Black Ops Mikey said...

No, no, no!!!!

Armstrong without Herbert Armstrong is like a car without an engine.

I'm glad I could clear that up.