Thursday, June 26, 2014

Bob Thiel: Satanists Use Toilet Paper, Should You?



Ok, Bob did not make the statement above BUT he did say that because Satanists keep birthdays you should not.  Satanists use toilet paper and eat red meat, should a REAL Christian do the same?  That is the logic behind Thiel's simplistic thinking.

Do you realize where the practice of birthday celebrations came from or how they are viewed by certain Satanists?

Back in 1969 Anton Lavey wrote The Satanic Bible. On page 96 (in the 1976 version) it mentions birthdays:

THE highest of all holidays in the Satanic religion is the date of one’s own birth. This is in direct contradiction to the holy of holy days of other religions, which deify a particular god who has been created in an anthropomorphic form of their own image, thereby showing that the ego is not really buried.
It is interesting that birthdays are considered one of the three the most important holiday to these Satan worshipers (the two others called Walpurgisnacht, and Halloween also have pagan ties and are observed by millions who claim to be Christian).
The Bible never encourages the celebration of birthdays. Instead, it tends to speak in a negative manner concerning them (cf. Matthew 14:6-11; Jeremiah 20:14-18).

Of course, early Christians did not celebrate birthdays nor did the early Jews. Nor have real Christians ever celebrated Halloween.
Thiel is forced to admit that there is NO prohibition on keeping birthdays.  It was all a figment of Herbert's imagination that brought about the hatred of birthdays in the church.  Delusional men like Thiel, Flurry and Pack continue the absurdity.
Now although there is no specific command against the celebration of birthdays in the Bible, the Jewish custom in those days was apparently based on the negative occurrences in the Bible surrounding birthdays, as well as the astrological implications of the celebration of birthdays (pagan practices, like astrology, were specifically prohibited in the law).
All I can say to Bob is to keep it up.  Between you, Dave Pack and Gerald Flurry, you all are bringing about the rapid demise of Armstrongism.  Your absurdities make all of you and the church look like fools.  I thank you,  Karl Theodor Freiherr von und zu Guttenberg thanks you, and Anton Lavey thanks you too. 

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

No birthday celebrations... Just another thing Herbie stole from the Jehovah's Witnesses.

Ronco

Anonymous said...

So we know Thiel is against birthdays and American football, amongst other things. In the case of Malm, that joy kill could suck the life out of an eternal optimist in no time with his interpretations of the law. I feel sorry for people who get themselves enslaved to this type of sorry lot.

Anonymous said...

It didn't matter what I said. Mom (1916-2007) was going to send me a gift on my birthday. It happened every year I was an Armstrong slave.

I kept everything. Who couldn't use a new shirt or $20 or maybe $40?

Very soon I stopped fussing about it. Letting her do what she wanted for me was HONORING her -- didn't that trump the I'm-better-than-you-because-I-don't rubbish about birthdays?

The seed that led to me casting off all the nonsense Herbie had perpetrated on me, through his ordained puppets, was sown. I got out in '96 and THANK GOD for that decade with my mother without obstacle.

And, thank you, Mom!!!

Anonymous said...

Anon 9:57 AM wrote: "... In the case of Malm, that joy kill could suck the life out of an eternal optimist in no time with his interpretations of the law..."

Why does James Malm stress the law upon all of those who idolize/follow him? Just why is that law needed anyway? Who really needs that law? Why was that law made?

1 Timothy 1:9 "Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers,"

I wonder if James Malm realizes that that law is for everyone...

John

Anonymous said...

Double Portion Bob just sucks the living daylights out of the Good News doesn't he?

Anonymous said...

Birthdays, typically figured on a solar calendar, are a trickier business to figure on a lunar calendar. For an Israeli who figures their age on the Hebrew Calendar, their stated "age" can drift by nearly two years relative to someone born on the same day who figures their age on the Roman calendar. Obviously, if you were born on Sivan 15, for example, you can observe your "birthday" on Tamuz 15 every year, but being a lunar calendar, this means it's been 12 cycles of the moon since your last birthday, not that you're a solar year older. Maybe that's not weird if a lunar calendar is what you're used to. Trickier yet if you happened to be born during Adar II, the leap month.

Incidentally, does no one find it weird that the names of the months on the Hebrew Calendar are almost identical to the names for the Babylonian months, carrying the names of pagan Babylonian gods, and that no one in Armstrongism ever seemed to raise an eyebrow over that bit of paganism?

Anonymous said...

Out of all the possible pantheons (with their different systems of creator-gods-who-had-children plus a tiered hierarchy of lesser gods (angels & demons) or creator-gods-who-got-killed-off-by-their-children-to-become-supreme-gods-themselves plus lesser gods, demi-gods, woodland creatures, etc., or perhaps the new-agey sort of impersonal-nature-worship-as-spiritual thing that's become popular over the last hundred years or so) that that one could conceivably choose from, or perhaps to disavow the whole thing, thinking that all those pantheons with their heros and villains are just man-made hooey...

Well, my point is, to be so fixated on solely the Christian pantheon as to decide to "worship" the Christian boogeyman strikes me as being a little naïve and narrow-minded. Wouldn't it be even more rebellious and risqué to worship a god from a different pantheon, whether it be a god, goddess, or boogeyman? To claim to be a "Satan-worshiper" just seems like something to say to Christians to piss them off, not something anyone but a numbskull could actually take seriously in private. Of course, fundies like ArmstWrongists assume that all those figures in all those other pantheons are just THEIR Christian boogeymen in disguise, amirite...

Of course, once you've truly gotten outside of the pantheon you were raised to believe in, all those pantheons with their two-dimensional heros and two-dimensional boogeymen seem a little, well, two-dimensional.

Anonymous said...

Satanists believe that when you tell a lie, the consequences of that lie come back on you threefold. As such, lying is frowned upon by Satanists, who believe that you should be powerful enough and secure enough to tell the truth and bear the consequences.

In other words, Satanism would be a moral step up for most ACOG cult leaders.

Connie Schmidt said...

Dear Bob:

The early Christians did not post idiocy on the internet.

Please follow their example and STOP!

Anonymous said...

Satanists have friends. Should you?
Satanists get married and start families. Should you?
Satanists kiss their children. Should you?
Satanists sleep at night. Should you?
Satanists have fulfilling careers. Should you?
Satanists travel. Should you?
Satanists exercise. Should you?
Satanists seek medical care when necessary. Should you?
Satanists plan for retirement. Should you?
Satanists pay taxes. Should you?
Satanists bathe regularly. Should you?
Satanists watch television and listen to the radio. Should you?
Satanists buckle up and drive safely. Should you?
Satanists brush their teeth. Should you?

Obviously not all Satanists do all of these things, or perhaps do them all as often as they should. But if there is even a single Satanist who does something, doesn't that mean you should probably think twice about it?

On the other hand, maybe Satanists are just regular people too. Maybe their beliefs are a little strange, but certainly not much more so than the typical Christian's beliefs are to someone who was raised as a Buddhist or a Hindu.

Finally, logic is just a tool and is only as reliable as the motivations of the person using it. Invalid, fallacious, and downright self-contradictory "logic" are everyday occurrences. Logic can help steer a person to truth, or "logic" can be used to justify the prejudices of one who already knows what conclusions he wants. Red herrings like this association fallacy/appeal to fear fallacy, suggesting that everything a generalized stereotypical class of caricatures do "must be tainted" is a fine example of the sort of "logic" employed by the motivated and prejudiced user.

Anonymous said...

Does Bob Thiel realize how incredibly stupid he sounds when he writes this stuff?

Anonymous said...

"Of course, early Christians did not celebrate birthdays nor did the early Jews. Nor have real Christians ever celebrated Halloween."

Translation: If YOU have ever celebrated a birthday or Halloween, then you are NOT a Reel-Troo Krischin®! NO EXCEPTIONS!

Anonymous said...

Isn't it a positive thing that we do when we celebrate the aniversary of the day a fellow human started his life. To say that this is evil is to say that morning the death of that same person is evil. We should also celebrate each others achievements and have compassion for others who are suffering and struggling in life. Life has its ups and downs. Shouldn't we be looking for opportunities to celebrate lifes mile stones. Birthdays being one of them.

Byker Bob said...

Satanists do everything everyone else does. They even make false prophecy, so by his own logic, Bob should cease and desist from that immediately!

One huge difference is that Satanists take a Burger King (have it your way) approach to life. They have only one commandment, "Doest as thou wilt."

Anton La Vey was just as big a charlatan as HWA. Very little difference between the two men, actually, although it could be argued that HWA caused evil in people's lives on a much larger scale.

BB

Anonymous said...

HWA was against anything that cost his followers money, because it would potentially be donated to his purse.
They killed the natural joy a child would have on his special day. Prohibitions against celebrating birthdays, Xmas etc. made for very bad relationships in families, and no matter what else you did for them, they still felt bad you didn't get them that Birthday or Xmas gift.

old EXPCG hag said...

... their own image, thereby showing that the ego is not really buried.

Speaking of egos...

HWA and all his men/prophets/ministers/etc. were/are the MOST egotistical of all!

Funny you cannot celebrate a child's birth, but the idolatry that is rampant about HWA and every date that corresponds to everything he did, mainly the date of his death which is continually memorialized in his off shoots, especially the PCG.

I could go on, but I have to go to work now thank ya!

Black Ops Mikey said...

Wasn't Jesus born on the Feast of Trumpets?

And if Jesus were born on the Feast of Trumpets, aren't Armstrongists celebrating his birthday each year?

So isn't it Satanic to keep the Feast of Trumpets?

Corky said...

The truth is they are against anything on which you might spend money, THEIR money! Instead of celebrating birthdays and spending money for Xmas and new spring clothing (Easter) you should send that money to THEM! If you have money to SQUANDER on birthday celebrations OR YOURSELF then, well, you haven't been doing your Xian duty of sending "God's apostle" ALL your spare change. "It's more blessed to give than to receive" (Acts 20:35) - so GIVE! GIVE! GIVE!

Allen C. Dexter said...

Corky, you forgot to add so they can RECEIVE, RECEIVE, RECEIVE!

Anonymous said...

How is Bob, and for that matter Meredith and all the other COGs any different from children with treehouses, deciding which of the neighborhood kids can and can't come up to play?

Of course, Bob is sillier and pettier than most since he gets mad because a few people in particular he was hoping would show up begging to play (on his terms) aren't interested. But isn't loneliness one of the potential hazards of having your own treehouse?

Herbie was just really good at getting people to show up at his treehouse wanting to play.

They say that the difference between children and adults is how much their toys cost. Another difference is the sheer bulk of make-believe they engage in. At least the treehouses of children are tangible.

James said...

Anonymous said...

Does Bob Thiel realize how incredibly stupid he sounds when he writes this stuff?

June 26, 2014 at 5:05 PM

Yes he does. He is an expert at chasing off paying customers.


Corky said...

The truth is they are against anything on which you might spend money, THEIR money! Instead of celebrating birthdays and spending money for Xmas and new spring clothing (Easter) you should send that money to THEM!
____


Well one thing you can do after you send them all your money is to use their free literature for shit paper. You see, its a trade off. You give the cult Meister money and he gives you a source of paper to wipe your ass with. Maybe this is what its all about???

Byker Bob said...

Hey, just thunk this one up! From now on, when I use the term "TP", it's going to mean Thiel Paper! So, folks, next time you go to the Armstrong to take a Herb, don't forget the Thiel Paper.

LOL!
BB

Anonymous said...

"You see, its a trade off. You give the cult Meister money and he gives you a source of paper to wipe your ass with. Maybe this is what its all about???"

Most expensive "free" toilet paper EVER!

Retired Prof said...

And don't forget to wipe your Meredith from front to back.

old EXPCG hag said...

Anonymous said...

"Of course, early Christians did not celebrate birthdays nor did the early Jews. Nor have real Christians ever celebrated Halloween."

Translation: If YOU have ever celebrated a birthday or Halloween, then you are NOT a Reel-Troo Krischin®! NO EXCEPTIONS!

June 26, 2014 at 5:35 PM

Hey Anon, you forgot the MOST IMPORTANT ONE...

Early Christians, Jews, and Real Christians never worshipped Herbert W. Armstrong the man, or celebrated every date that corresponds to him. he! he!

Black Ops Mikey said...

It should be pointed out that the British and the United States are not mentioned anywhere in Scripture. Nary a word. Yet Booby Thiel and all the rest of the Cult of Herbert Armstrong Mafia base their whole religion upon it.

Instead of worrying about birthdays as being some sort of sin, why don't these false prophets worry about the death penalty of eternal extinction through beatings and the lake of fire during their final judgment? Shouldn't repenting of dishonoring God through their idolatry and evil by slandering God be a priority?

As it stands, they have no potential at present for eternal life, so why do they worry about birthdays instead of their own obvious mortality?

Anonymous said...

Amazing how this blog gets people focused on and riled up about trivia.

Anonymous said...

Anon 12:02 I assume you are talking about the trivia that Bob Thiel and the rest of the COG's preach, because that is what it is. Not one they they preach is required under the new covenant. I prefer God's grace, mercy and love over the vengeful legalistic god of Armstrongism. So you are correct, Armstrongism is useless trivia.

Anonymous said...

I hope by "trivia" you mean institutionalized abusiveness, lying, and extortion, ridiculous absurdities promulgated as "truth," families split up by wrongheaded uses a book that's supposed to be "good," elder abuse and long-term financial planning disrupted by false doomsday prophecies, and the like. I think I speak for most everyone here when I say those are the sorts of "trivia" that we focus on and that rile us up. Unless I miss my guess, you're an ArmstrWrongite who is still enmeshed and as such, still approves wholeheartedly of all those heinous things?