Sunday, January 31, 2016

Wanton ladies in the Church of God



The Chief Pharisee is back proclaiming his version of what he wants scripture to say.  Like so much of ht time it seems to be that the women get the short end of the stick.  Ever since Eve gave Adam that juicy red apple while he was standing right next to her, women have been the cause of most evil in the world, at least in the eyes of religious dictators.

The Church of God has never been an exception to that.  From idiotic rants by Meredith and Waterhouse, to the dictates of Herbert Armstrong and Garner Ted in numerous articles and booklets. Even though many of the hierarchy of the COG could never keep their pants zipped, it was always the women's fault. And so it is today with James Malm.

Some of the wanton things COG women do are

Mess around with astrology and horoscopes:

I have noticed since I was first baptized in 1976 that the observing of times and horoscopes which is forbidden as an abomination by God, is commonly practiced in the Ekklesia especially by ladies. This is a grave sin which will keep you out of the resurrection to spirit

Buy mixed fabrics:

We are not to mix seed or fibers in cloth, or to mix kinds of animals. The focus on this is PURITY. The spiritual lesson is to keep ourselves PURE and unspotted by the false doctrines and prophecies of false religions. We are not to allow our white linen garments of righteousness to become mixed with the fibers of unrighteousness and error and sin, of impurity and defilement of false ways.


Let men perform oral sex on them before marriage:

I have heard of many cases where women have been convinced by their men friends that oral or manual sex is not really sex, and they then do this, thinking themselves to still be virgins. 



11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ah, this takes me back. I remember when we had taped Herbert sermons, sitting with a knot in my stomach, waiting for the anti-female comments from him - and they were always there!

He frequently blamed the beginning of sexual immorality on the Flappers - "I think it all started with the Flappers!" I always thought that was so stupid. He didn't say they were lesbians, so obviously there were men involved. But no, it was always the women's fault. On the one hand, God supposedly put men in charge because they're stronger. On the other hand, it's women's fault if the men stray (because they're not strong enough to resist!).

Rant over!

Meighen

Anonymous said...

It's also a cultural thing, not just in churches. Elvis's 'your the devil in disguise', is a good example. Another is the Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs says (from memory) 'yeah I know she's a witch, but aren't they all.'
Whilst I'm here, did you know that Elvis Presley was a Jew?
And that Waterhouse, his suits were 10 sizes too large. He looked like he went on a crash diet, and lost half his body weight. His suits were practically falling off him. It looks like no one had the courage to pull him up.

Connie Schmidt said...

Well, I will give Malm some credit.

He did not once use the overworked, legacy, operative word...

JEZEBEL

Anonymous said...

"I have noticed since I was first baptized in 1976 that the observing of times and horoscopes which is forbidden as an abomination by God, is commonly practiced in the Ekklesia especially by ladies. This is a grave sin which will keep you out of the resurrection to spirit"

1) Why is it that only the ladies are being called out here?

2) How is the use of a horoscope any different than cleromancy (casting of lots) mentioned being practiced numerous times in the bible, or use of the mysterious "urim & thummim?

"We are not to mix seed or fibers in cloth, or to mix kinds of animals. The focus on this is PURITY. The spiritual lesson is to keep ourselves PURE and unspotted by the false doctrines and prophecies of false religions. We are not to allow our white linen garments of righteousness to become mixed with the fibers of unrighteousness and error and sin, of impurity and defilement of false ways."

1) Does this apply to natural fibers, or does it also apply to synthetic fibers? Is it okay to mix polyester, nylon, rayon, or lycra spandex? Is it okay to wear synthetic fibers at all? Who gets to decide? How does anyone know? Why shouldn't all of this be dismissed as silliness? (Hint: it should)

2) How do you know how "pure" you are? Is there a metric to measure a person's "purity" and/or "defilement"? If not, how do you know these are real things? (Hint: they aren't)

3) How do you know if any particular "doctrine" (teaching) is "false" or "true"? Is there an unambiguous, objective criteria that can be used to determine whether any particular "doctrine" belongs in the "false" bin or the "true" bin? If there isn't, how do you know this distinction is a real thing. (Hint: it isn't)

4) Why is it that mere symbolic rituals always take center stage in the COGs and the practical good which they're supposed to represent (although the things they represent are frequently not good) always seem to be disregarded? For example, Armstrongites spend an inordinate amount of time attempting to expunge crumbs from their homes each year, yet spend no time at all even attempting to expunge any "sin" from their lives. Is it any wonder people have forsaken Armstrongism in droves as a fruitless exercise chasing things of no value? And when I say "fruitless," I mean it in the biblical sense.

"I have heard of many cases where women have been convinced by their men friends that oral or manual sex is not really sex, and they then do this, thinking themselves to still be virgins."

1) If you've been listening hard enough to have heard "many cases" where women have been convinced by men, but yet you somehow haven't heard any cases where men have been convinced by women, you should really get your hearing checked.

2) Thank goodness he didn't close the loophole.

Glenn said...

I dated the woman on the cover during my second year at AC, but she eventually dropped me for GTA.

Anonymous said...

The COG never said women were the chief cause of evil. Stop lying about the COGs.

Byker Bob said...

Malm was baptized in 1976? That means he ignored what we all came to know in 1975, that HWA was a fraud because the event horizon he held us in and exploited us through did not come to fruition as he said it would, and therefore, he was clearly Deut. 18:22.

But, despite a buzz-killing disappointment, and having been appropriately branded by the Deuteronomist, these ministerial type dudes have fraudulently held the ACOGs in a perpetual artificial event horizon for 41 more years after the failure. Now all of the COGlodytes run around still pretending that the English speaking caucasians (Surfers to our minority friends!) are actually Israel, and all of Leviticus is still in force because the New Covenant is only the Old Covenant with the addition of a Messiah, and finally, that because the math somehow didn't work the event will yet happen possibly in 3-5 years. In the mean time, you have to make your own clothes to avoid cotton-polyester blends or elastic, be sure to spank your wife when she needs it, and buy a cow because all the Vitamin D milk sources pigs for the vitamin D because theirs is the most potent. Oh, and don't read other peoples' entertaining but largely false prognostications, because the ACOGs can't handle the competition. Just be sure to set up your tithes and "generous" offerings for auto-pay!

It's a good thing these statistically negligent ones are not well known. If they were, I'd be on Youtube with my "Dr. Bobby Sabbath" comedy routine. Satire can't go viral if nobody knows the objects of the satire!

BB

Anonymous said...

BB, has it ever occurred to you that a Christian is one who follows Christ rather than a physical church of its leader? Are you aware that the purpose of human existence is to build the mind of God, which is independent of any of your complaints of Armstrong and his physical church/splinters?

Byker Bob said...

Of course, 6:26. That should be perfectly obvious. The US Marines don' t believe in leaving any of their dead behind, and neither do I. My writing addresses those who believe that building the mind of God can be accomplished through the false and toxic system we know as Armstrongism. God does not now, and never has had anything to do with that system or movement. I don't just complain, I point out lies, abuses, falacies, examples of wrong-headed leadership, and even bad theology that is the antithesis of Christianity.

The scripture which says "Become ye therefore perfect, even as your father in heaven is perfect." is always in my mind and in my prayers. I just no longer allow wolves to be the gatekeepers, and that tends to bother some people.


BB

Anonymous said...

Lets see, does football maximize ones profits, and minimize ones losses? Hmmm, a life span of 53 and "American football players are prone to head injuries such as concussion. In later life, this increases the risk of dementia and Alzheimers."
So certainly not. No self respecting capitalist entrepreneur would be caught dead playing Football. What value is all that loot that they are paid, if you a vegetable later in life.
Only a commie-socialist or a Bernie Sanders supporter would be stupid enough to be a football player.
Whilst I'm here, let me direct you to a capitalist hero. As Christ pointed out in Luke 4, Christians sometimes have to go to the better quality gentiles rather than the Pharisaic Armstrongites with their 'give way.'

Luke 4:26 But unto none of them was Elias sent, save unto Sarepta, a city of Sidon, unto a woman that was a widow.
Luke 4:27 And many lepers were in Israel in the time of Eliseus the prophet; and none of them was cleansed, saving Naaman the Syrian.

This great capitalist teacher is called Milton Friedman. He has kicked the bucket, but his videos are on YouTube. But don't tell the elders or ministers and their boot lickers, since they love all the free stuff given to them by the deceived 'givers.'

Cheers TradingGuy.

Anonymous said...

8.13AM Yes it was a false and toxic system that did enormous harm to many peoples lives. However, there is a complication. That being that Armstrong turned out to be a modern day version of old testament Baalam. As you recall Bob, God did use Baalam. Personally, I do not believe Armstrong qualified for the kingdom, though God does not give out such information.