Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Herbert Armstrong has been brought back from the dead and has been reanimated to speak

Stephen Gildbreath runs one of the most pathetic Church of God "ministries" out there in the internet.

He puts up HWA on his "screen" as if HWA was actually preaching in his studio living room.  Gilbreth has even animated Herb to move his mouth and head in order to make you feel more inspired.  You really should listen to at least the first10 minutes of Herb's bombastic rant.  Screaming and shouting at the DUMB brethren who are ignorant morons.

Gilbreath self-appointed himself as a minister just like Bob Amos Thiel did.  Both "preach" equally bad; who after they finish, you have to stop and wonder what the hell did I just listen to? Both "preach" on topics that have no relevance to human kind.


Black Ops Mikey said...

For maximum irritation also visit their website to read The United States and British Commonwealth in Prophecy.

Herbert Armstrong was never an apostle. Herbert Armstrong didn't have the Holy Spirit. Herbert Armstrong was wrong about the calendar. Herbert Armstrong had a terrible record concerning prophecies he made in Jesus' name.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Oh... and one more thing: Herbert Armstrong is dead. I know that may be a shock to some of you. Sometimes it doesn't seem like it. (And even worse for GTA.)

Does this make him a zombie?

Anonymous said...

So far, my favorite quote from this is, "Even though God hasn't put Mr. Armstrong's writings in the Bible yet..."

Hahaha! As if the Bible wasn't chock-full of enough stupid shit already!

To be fair, the Bible is simply ancient literature, and not the "Word of God"

However, to Herbert's discredit, Herbert DID claim that his words were from God, and that a horrific "Lake of Fire" or worse awaited those who disagreed with him.

Anonymous said...

Just as phony as can be. The man’s dead. His multiple, disqualifying sins (incest, failed prophecies, many others) are no longer hidden. The man was a theological fraud of the highest, most sordid degree. Like so many others, I was deceived by him, but thankfully, I’ve repented and have authentic salvation, through the grace of Christ (not through attempting to “keep” a few Armstrong-selected portions of the Mosaic Law).

The reality is this. If Herbert W Armstrong were the end-time apostle he claimed to be, and that his mandated doctrines were from God, God would never have allowed him to die and allow the discovery of his sins and failed prophecies. The man was a failure. To see this amateurish, cartoonish re-presentation of his persona is, for me, sickening.

As are the several descendant Churches of Armstrong (there are real Churches of God).

It is interesting to watch the slow rot and decomposition of the Churches of Armstrong.
None are growing. None are known by the public. They are but a dusty shadow from the last century.

Those of us formerly mired in Armstrongism can watch this sort of thing (for just a few moments), and be grateful all of it is evaporating. Cartoonish presentations like this validate Armstrongism’s descend into historical insignificance.

Anonymous said...

Spend even a small amount of time catching up with the antics of COG splinters and you will see a lot of bizarre stuff, but this is just absurd.

I'd like to imagine the creepy animation was used because they originally planned on using a Herbert W. Armstrong ventriloquist dummy to mouth along to the words, but couldn't find anyone brave enough to stick their hand up Herbert's ass.

Connie Schmidt said...

Gilbreath should expand his offering. The one "still" of a talking head of HWA is not cutting it.

May I offer a couple of suggestions for improvement...

** Perhaps a HWA hand or sock puppet instead?

** Super Marionette HWA , aka Thunderbirds or Fireball XL5 ?

** Davey and Goliath "Claymation" style HWA ??

Anonymous said...

What a bumbling idiot this so called minister is. He makes Bob Thiel look good!

As for HWA maybe he could use a bobble head.

Byker Bob said...

The minute they came out with the big production involving Elvis's hologram performing with his live musicians and back up singers, I wondered if some asshole would copy the principle and use it for HWA. Flurry would have been the likely candidate, in his auditorium. Imagine watching HWA at
Flurry's F/T. Gag a maggot!


Anonymous said...

"Brethren, your just sitting here in a seat is not going to get you into the kingdom of God. It just is not!"

LOL. It's easy to say what won't. Harder to pin down any specifics of what will. If anything.

The bible is so full of things that are either obviously wrong, contradictory, or of uncertain interpretation. It says a lot of things, and there's no indication of how to prioritize or harmonize any of it, which is why christendom is so fractured. There's very little, if anything, that most christians agree on, and the criteria that would get you into one christian theologically theorized "kingdom of god" or another is at or near the top of that list.

One thing that I think we can all agree on, however, is that raping your daughter also is not going to get you into a "kingdom of god." It just is not.

Lisa Williams said...

holy smoke,that's creepy...šŸ˜®

Anonymous said...

This is so tasteless. They have 'cheated' by increasing the speed of his speaking. If a person is following Christ, do they really need this circus?

Lake of Fire Church of God said...

No2HWA said, "Stephen Gildbreath runs one of the most pathetic Church of God "ministries" out there in the internet".

MY COMMENT - Actually, ALL 700+ Splinters of the WCG are pretty pathetic!


Anonymous said...

Yes, I agree! It is pathetic. Instead of sitting down and realizing we'd all been "had" by a skilled charlatan, looking at the facts of false doctrines like British Israelism, the sham of church government, etc. people have pathetically held onto lies and subterfuge. It's a good thing those who desperately tried to save their retirements because going out and really working for a living was beneath them and the prospects no at all good are in most cases nearing the ends of their lives just about the time all those houses of cards are about to come crashing down. They have to be terrified of the fact that they just might live too long.

Anonymous said...

I showed this to my wife (who has no experience with the COGs). She gaped at it and then said "The thing is, they're probably really proud of that animation."

Anonymous said...

The WCG could have been MUCH worse. And now it IS. Have you checked out the splinter groups? They are all about lying, stealing, and abusing in God's name. The best of the splinters are godless and act like they want to fry in the trib. The splinters with leaders who claim to be prophets act like they are inspired by demons.

Ralph said...

What a fantastic 'Video Capture and Presentation Program'. I wonder what he uses.
Interesting to see his often presented right hand gesture of forefinger tip and thumb joined together and remaining fingers extended.
Better done with the left hand I think.


Trust in Yehovah
"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." ("Eph 6:12 AKJ)

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one that finds this stuff absolutely delightfully laughable, as in better than anything on TV?

Thank God for the Internet!!!


Anonymous said...


The answer is NO, you are not alone.

If there ever was anything serious and professional about WCG/HWA, than video's like this are the ultimate "SNL" skit. It is my authoritative and professional opinion that if HWA ever had to watch this video with his mouth moving like this. He would have rather suffered the fate of Andrew upside down and turning.

No enemy of his would claim copyrights to any second of this video. Since it is the ultimate mockery.
What about the "mistaken" introduction on the warped calendar?
Tears rolling from laughter from the Roman calendar makers. What did the Romans ever do for us? Well a generally accepted calendar maybe that even tv anchorman can do right at once?

I'm selling my Netflix and Disney stock.
This guy is top rated amusement, highest investment grade class.


Anonymous said...

Who is yehovah Ralph?

Where did you come up with that nonsense? Why do you believe in magical formulas and names? It is magic you know.
There are no vowels in the hebrew so no way to know what the name is.
I believe people use words like yehovah, yeshua and etc to show off and somehow make themselves look more knowledgeable and more on the inside than others.
Got a special in with that lord! You and da lord on a first name basis!

Since there are no vowels maybe it is yuhavy or yahoovooh or yihaavah, yihivih or any other number of combinations you can come up with.

Frank said...

Ronco, I always liked your inventions on late night TV.
Well, that video was creepy and yet strangely entertaining in a silly sort of way.
Cheers my friends.

Trust in Zeus
"75 million Greeks can't be wrong"(Book of 2nd Opinions 5:2)

Frank said...

Ronco, I always liked your inventions on late night TV.
Well, that video was creepy and yet strangely entertaining in a silly sort of way.
Cheers my friends.

Trust in Zeus
"75 million Greeks can't be wrong"(Book of 2nd Opinions 5:2)

Anonymous said...

Forefinger and thumb joined with 3 fingers extended: 666.
Or so they say.

Anonymous said...

Indeed his speech is sped up to GTA speed.
It's like the intro to "The Streets of San Francisco" run twice as fast. Boring and exciting at the same time.

What is Nebucadnezar up to up there in the air. Shitting on his head?
I'm painting my face red right now. How could the other person show this to his wife?
I would only if all hope was lost, my plane was falling from the sky and we needed one last laugh.


Anonymous said...

I agree, Ronco!
For some reason, I find it's particularly amusing when the eyes blink on HWA's head.

I found myself waiting for the next eye-blinks!

Sadly and of course, Stephen Gildbreath's program is lacking in jaw-jiggling effects.

Wouldn't it be great if Stephen had an interactive website, where you could ask a question and an Armstrong would pop out of the grave to answer it?

Ralph said...

on April 6, 2016 at 3:53 AM
Anonymous wrote...

"Forefinger and thumb joined with 3 fingers extended: 666.
Or so they say.

So they say! But I'm not convinced of the story that it's an Illuminati sign. Are you?


Ralph said...

on April 6, 2016 at 3:47 AM
Anonymous wrote:

"Who is yehovah Ralph?

Where did you come up with that nonsense? etc...."

You have just as much right as anyone else to do your own research. You could perhaps start 'HERE'.


Monnie said...

This is simultaneously laughable & creepy. I remember Steve from AC, but until now had no idea he led a COG splinter. If I didn’t know this was real, I'd say it would make a decent parody. Facial response software has come a long way. And this Herbie piece brought back many memories, including dining in Herbie's manse as an AC senior back in the day amidst all his trappings of wealth as I pictured all the poor sheeple "out in the field" struggling to send the ol' charlatan as much money as they could to please Herbie & his god who could never quite be pleased. Of course, at the time I still thought he was "God's apostle", although I was beginning to question things that we weren't supposed to question.

Nick said...

I tried watching a little of this and gave up pretty quickly. What little I did see was all pathetic, a bunch of ramblings, and sickening. You'd have to be brain dead to follow Steve Gilbreath. Somehow, through Steve, a few remaining living "evangelists" of WCG, and some former aging AC grads, the HWA "legacy" continues to linger and "live" on in the likes of Steve and others. I guess these guys can't do/won't do anything else with their lives but continue to waste it on HWA, GTA, etc.

And...Why should they try to make an honest living out there???

After all,there's still old sheep and new sheep to fleece. And that's one thing HWA was right about. Spot on about "the brethren" being dumb sheep. We were DUMB SHEEP (for following him).

I feel sorry for those still in the HWA spell or those who left and have followed the "leaders" "leading" splintered COG's. Why? Because it's sad that these cleaver charlatans, wolves in sheep clothing out there are always fleecing trusting, gullible, people. People who want to believe in God and love...

Boy howdy...these guys like Steve, and Spanky Meredith, etc. will seemingly always be out there though and they'll always be glad to fleece the flock, and take all, or as much of their flock's money. I wouldn't doubt they sometimes even believe the shit they preach.

Anonymous said...

Gilbreath had a bad reputation in Pasadena as a leach with single women. He is one of those perpetual bachelors that expected women to cowtow to his demands, no matter how patriarchal they were. For a long time he taught ball room dancing to students and members. It was an opportunity to dance with single women who would otherwise not have anything to do with him.

He has always been an HWA fanatic and was part of the Lobby Church of God during all of the changes. They would get pissed at the sermons and come out to the lobby to sit and bitch and moan on how satan was being allowed to attack the church. It was a rather pathetic bunch of people. They are still around to this day whining in the West Hills church that still meets on Saturday. Thankfully Stevie Wonder is not in Southern CA anymore.

Anonymous said...