Friday, May 13, 2016

UCG: Static-cling Car Stickers Latest Gospel Tool.....WINNER!!!!!!!!


See the absolutely mind boggling static-cling sticker here.  
This will make the other COG's super jealous!

These wildly playful folks in the public relations area of United Church of God have come up with ANOTHER fail-safe way of getting the gospel out the world.  They want UCG members to take their amazing Beyond Today static-cling car stickers and plaster them all over their cars!  Your neighbors will be impressed!  Your high school friends with be intrigued and want to know more about your church. The world will be in awe!

And, here is a new project: we would like our brethren to help us bring more attention to the work of the Church. At the GCE meeting we are distributing Beyond Today car-window static-clings that can easily be put onto everyone’s vehicles. We are asking that all pastors and elders return home with enough clings for everyone in their congregation. If your pastor is not at the meeting this year, we will make arrangements for the clings to be shipped to your church areas.

The next thing we will see will be Jelly sock puppets or antenna balls.  Let the gospel roll forth!

21 comments:

Connie Schmidt said...

Why, oh why, have are they not using human SIGN TWIRLERS in front of church services? Seems to work for a lot of other businesses!

Anonymous said...

Christ was indistinguishable from those around him in his appearance. This camouflage is common in nature as well. Making yourself stand out with these stickers or similar, can create problems, even dangerous ones for oneself. People should not be asked to sacrifice their safety for the work. Notice that the ministers asking this, live in a safe, ivory tower, called 'church world.' They do not live in the real world, and the dangers that go with standing out.

Anonymous said...

You have got to be kidding me. Beyond Belief is more like it.

Monnie said...

They should use Craigslist to solicit new victims. Hey, make the COG a multi-level marketing company!

John G said...

Cling-ons????

Are we into Star Trek? Into science fiction? Into fantasy? What do they mean Klingons?

Cling-ons Vs. Klongons?

The United Association is still Clinging On to a little milk and a lot of spiritual junk food. They need to get rid of the junk food first. I left the junk food a long time ago. No more junk food for me! The milk is ok. But still the question is - where's the beef? Where is the strong meat of the Bible?

All United seems to be doing is preaching an old message that contains junk food. Joe Tkach senior had a different message and a different job to do.

To Klingon or not to Klingon: that is the question?

To cling-on or not to cling-on: that is the quesYoon?

It all seems so silly but time will tell...

John

Anonymous said...

Do they stick to cows?

Byker Bob said...

This is a personal sore spot!

A customer called me on a Friday afternoon to tell me that she was having extreme difficulty feeding stock through one of our machines. When I arrived, I confirmed the difficulties. I made adjustments to her equipment, fluffed, and jogged the stock, yet the problem would not go away. I picked up four documents, and they stuck to one another as if they were glued together. At that point, after about an hour, I was about to propose one of our ionized air joggers to her, which is a $3,600 accessory. I noticed that in frustration, she had named this job "statics" in the permanent job file, and commented on this. At that time, she said "Oh, no Bob, that's what they are! This stock is supposed to generate static so that it sticks to your refrigerator. We use it instead of the thicker and more expensive magnetic stock."

Alas , she was too pretty, and too nice a person to be stern or mean to. How could she have known that material designed to generate and retain static could not be expected to feed sheet by sheet through any machine known to man!

BB

Anonymous said...


“UCG: Static-cling Car Stickers Latest Gospel Tool.....[LOSER]!!!!!!!!”


That is just like those crazy Splinter Groups. Always sticking it to you!!!!!!!!

R.L. said...

If the goal is to get people to the UCG website, why not go ahead and put a full website address on the sticker? Add a ".TV" to it.

One big problem is that BeyondToday.com and BeyondToday.org are NOT UCG sites. A "WhoIs" search shows they're registered to some private company in Toronto - and the dot-org site has a list of neighborhood projects in Chicago.

Anonymous said...


In the WCG under HWA people sent in money to headquarters and HWA used it to preach to the world on the World Tomorrow television program and in the Plain Truth magazine. The role of the little sheeple was to financially support HWA's preaching, and to quietly set a good example by being honest and decent people in the world. In his old age HWA made it appear to be so easy to grow the church that many other people thought that they could do it too, and even better than HWA, who was supposedly doing it all wrong according to some of them.

Not everybody agreed with HWA's approach, and some nutty little nobodies thought that they were specially gifted to preach and witness to their neighbors. They wanted to get involved personally rather than just send in money. Now the UCG is trying to get the little people personally involved in trying to grow the church, since the UCG leaders have proven over the past 21 years to be totally ineffective at growing the church at all. After starting off with some former WCG members in 1995, the UCG has done nothing but splinter and split ever since. In fact, if they do not stop dividing and splitting their share of the people that HWA had collected together in the past, there might soon be nothing left.

The past 30 years since HWA's death in January 1986 have now clearly shown that many people underestimated HWA's ability to grow the church, and greatly overestimated their own ability to grow the church. Neither the apostates, nor the hirelings, nor the false prophets, nor the rebels, can grow anything. All they can do is try to attract some former WCG members that HWA had collected together and then try to teach them error, heresy, rebellion, immorality, and division. According to many of them, the WCG grew in spite of rotten old HWA, and their own pathetic efforts are failing in spite of themselves and their great talent and spiritual understanding. When their new ways inevitably fail to work, they do not acknowledge it. Rather, they say that HWA's old ways no longer work. According to HWA's teachings, the spiritual, moral, and physical decline is because the Philadelphia era of the church is over and the Laodicea era is now here.

The obnoxious little UCG nut cases will do even worse than the UCG leaders have done. The ones who most want to preach and “witness” are typically some of the most disgusting bad examples around. They are neither quiet, nor honest, nor decent. Many examples could be given of what they are really like and how they actually behave, but let it suffice to say that even the sinful world will not be attracted to those dungheads. The UCG's only hope is to repent, and the prophetic understanding in the WCG under HWA was that that will not happen until the Great Tribulation forces them to start thinking seriously about things.



Senior citizen & Jelly lover., said...

Would you please leave innocent little Jelly out of these sordid affairs?
In his entire little life Jelly has never harmed nor slandered nor hurt anyone. Well, maybe that time he was inebriated at the feast and got behind the wheel but, that was last year.
Oh the humanity, can't we forgive and forget?
Again I plead (must I take to YouTube?)... LEAVE JELLY ALONE!!


Remember the Jelly motto: "It must be Jelly cuz Jam don't shake like dat"

Anonymous said...

9.21 PM calling Herbie "rotten old HWA" is a understatement. Missing in your assessment is Christ. Herbie did not 'collect' members or 'grow the church.' Christ did that by calling people. We both know this, so don't play stupid. Herbie in fact got in the way by introducing tyranny and oppression into the church. Only God knows how many more He would have called, if it wasn't for Herbies criminality. The churches aren't growing in numbers today, since the time is no longer there for people to qualify. It has nothing to do with the ministers or churches. Gangster Herbie isn't going to be in the kingdom, so your wet dream of having God the Father and Christ as figureheads, with Herbie being the real power in the kingdom, will never happen. Dream on Herbie worshipper.

Anonymous said...

Do you think ANYONE who sees the beyond today sticker is going to have any idea what the hell it is?

Anonymous said...


Anonymous on May 14, 2016 at 4:55 AM said...

“Missing in your assessment is Christ. Herbie did not 'collect' members or 'grow the church.' Christ did that by calling people. We both know this, so don't play stupid. Herbie in fact got in the way by introducing tyranny and oppression into the church. Only God knows how many more He would have called, if it wasn't for Herbies criminality. The churches aren't growing in numbers today, since the time is no longer there for people to qualify. It has nothing to do with the ministers or churches. Gangster Herbie isn't going to be in the kingdom, so your wet dream of having God the Father and Christ as figureheads, with Herbie being the real power in the kingdom, will never happen. Dream on Herbie worshipper.”



Very interesting. You have basically admitted in the bold sentences above that the WCG was God's church and that God was calling people to it!! Notice that God, who was in ultimate control, had HWA at the top. All the teachings in the WCG had come through HWA.

Some people complain that HWA was not perfect and that he made mistakes, but consider all the other churches on earth today, Catholic and Protestant, and what sort of people they have leading them, and what sort of teachings they have. Yuck!

Perhaps the reason that the churches of the apostates, hirelings, false prophets, and rebels are not growing is because of all the TYRANNY and OPPRESSION of SIN that they have introduced. Maybe it has everything to do with these criminal “ministers” and their counterfeit “churches.”

Anonymous said...

1.39PM if God wanted, He could start another church with a righteous leader/s. The fact that He hasn't implies that the first resurrection quota is filled. The law of gradualness means that people can only change so much in a given period of time. Hence the time isn't there for any more 'weak of the world' to qualify for the kingdom. Perhaps the odd elderly Christian from another denomination that has occurred in the past, but basically that's it. Doors open and doors close, the first resurrection door has been slammed shut.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous at 2:32 PM said...

“1.39PM if God wanted, He could start another church with a righteous leader/s. The fact that He hasn't implies that the first resurrection quota is filled. The law of gradualness means that people can only change so much in a given period of time. Hence the time isn't there for any more 'weak of the world' to qualify for the kingdom. Perhaps the odd elderly Christian from another denomination that has occurred in the past, but basically that's it. Doors open and doors close, the first resurrection door has been slammed shut.”



That “shut-door” theory of yours is nothing new.

In 1845 some people came up with the idea that “probation had ended for all” on October 22, 1844. They wanted to believe that date was significant even though Jesus had not returned on it as predicted. They did not want to admit that they had simply been wrong. They still wanted to believe that they had been right about the date and that those who had not paid any attention to it were wrong and in big trouble. So they taught that the door of salvation had been slammed shut after that date.

After preaching their theory for many years to defend their own so-called “righteousness” and to try to discourage other people who were better than themselves, they finally had to go open the door of salvation again so their own children and grandchildren could get in.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous at 2:32 PM said...

“Doors open and doors close, the first resurrection door has been slammed shut.”



Well, maybe the first resurrection door has been slammed shut--on you!

Did the door hit you in the butt on your way out?

Is that why you are so angry at HWA?

Byker Bob said...

So, let me uderstand this. Is God now posting here as one of the anonymous posters? Because, seriously folks, God is the only being with the power to do that! And, I hate to rain on anyone's party, but the thief on the cross didn't have time to "qualify" for the Kingdom, God is the good shepherd who goes after all of the lost ones, and He is the Father of the prodigal sons, and allows U-turns. Clearly, somebody has been deceived by the HWAcaca, rather than paying attention to what is written in the Bible.

Door has been slammed on the first rez, indeed! Somebody is trying to usurp God's prerogatives. How small-minded and blasphemous!

BB

Anonymous said...

5.45PM Am I the only sane person here? This isn't 1845. Your 'they were wrong then, so therefore they must be wrong today' is ridiculous. Sounds like the Jehovah witnesses.
BB, I believe someone earlier pointed out that the paradise that the thief at Christs side will experience, is the millennium earth. The earth will be like the garden of Eden. It's almost axiomatic that good traits have to be built through personal effort, over a period of time. Just as with any skill. So yes, people have to qualify for the kingdom by building pro life traits, since God has made the decision to not allow any demon types into the kingdom. That God has basically slammed the door shut for first resurrection Christians, is merely an observation of what exists. It is not a directive on my part, as some of you are accusing me of.
The bible does mention twelve thousand from each tribe of Israel qualifying for the kingdom. But even if these are 'tribulation' Christians, they would not be the 'weak of the world' types. Rather they would be a stronger, more mature type of person, since no way can a weak person qualify for the kingdom in such a short period of time.

Byker Bob said...

Anon, I believe you are forgetting about the parable of the workers in Matt. 20.

Also, salvation is freely given, for the asking, by faith, and grace. The works, or fruits that are born in a Christian's life, the "kingdom skills" that are built, do not qualify you for the first resurrection, they determine the level of initial reward (parable of the talents). You are correct in that habits and attitudes are built slowly, over a period of years, but there is also transformation, which only God can perform, a reprogramming to get rid of the often crippling thoughts and attitudes in our minds that it is impossible now to eliminate, often there due to severe traumas in life, or past debauchery. Also, how would we suddenly relate to and be able to mentor to individuals that we were taught to shun and to hold at arms length? The people to whom we made ourselves look not as people who had advance knowledge and insights, but actually as kind of arrogant and ridiculous separatists? To mentor, you must be able to relate. Jesus certainly did, but without crossing the line.

Not that I believe that the Armstrong version will actually be our reward, but how would a mechanic, or an insurance agent suddenly find himself qualified to be a king or a priest in the first resurrection? God would need to add an awfully lot to each individual through transformation for that to be feasible. Some of us are not even natural leader types. We just go through life trying to do the best we can at our jobs and personally on a day to day basis. Granted, there are some Jonathan Livingston Seagull types, but many people are content to do their part, make their contribution as a member of their community, and not aspire to managerial or supervisory positions. I remember back when I was a WCG member asking myself, why do we have to be kings and priests? Why can't we be regular, normal beings who simply relate to and get along with all those around us, only in a more perfect way, no longer having cross purposes that cause enmity? We cannot of and by ourselves, through our thoughts, experiences, and habit patterns, prevent ourselves from being or becoming Satan types in the Kingdom. The anti-Satan vaccination can only come from God as part of transformation. Satan and the demons apparently fell after thousands, millions, or billions of years of having lived in harmony with God.

We can play with nonexistent commas to extract different meanings from the narrative of the thief on the cross, but the fact remains that that thief, based on his realizations, and his conversation with Jesus, was not going to be condemned in the after life. He was going to be with Jesus in paradise, whether in heaven as the souls mentioned in Revelation, or in the resurrection at Jesus' return. There is not enough information in that story to prove soul sleep, unless you play games with commas.

BB

Anonymous said...

I don't understand the argument that the thief on the cross would not have had time to repent. If there's a circumstance which might be impetus for an expedited repentance, I think hanging on a cross about to be killed for his wrongs would qualify, big-time!

So, someone here wants to play God by claiming to know what was actually between the thief on the cross and God? How small-minded and blasphemous to make such a statement!