Saturday, June 11, 2016

Why should the COG look towards Islamic, Hopi, and Catholic False Prophecies For "Truth"?


God's greatest mouthpiece, after James Malm and Dave Pack, is Almost Arrested Elisha Elijah Amos Thiel.  Almost Arrested Thiel has his magnificent headquarters in the middle of the California coastlands in a tiny store front.  Between his hard work in hocking alternative medicines and other naturopathic quackery,  he has time to sit down and write "book's."  These are not your normal Church of God books on pre1986 doctrines or silly explanations on evolution; these are books filled with an odd mixture of Mayan, American Indian, Islamic, anti-Catholic, Armstrongite, and pre-millennial myths and legends.

The Almost Arrested false prophet has just re-released one of his books on Hillary Clinton.
Non-voting Almost Arrested Thiel assumes he is the final voice in politics.  Apparently his god visits him in dreams and inspires him to write these steaming piles of ______.

The name of his book on Hillary Clinton is this:
Hillary Clinton, Prophecy, and the Destruction of the United States: Is Hillary Clinton Fulfilling Biblical, Islamic, Catholic, Hopi, and other America-Related Prophecies? What About Donald Trump?  2nd edition
We are blessed to have included in this magnificent revised edition information on Donald Trump too.

Almost Arrested Thiel writes:
The subtitle has been changed to include information about Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump. Donald Trump was not mentioned in the first edition of the book as he did not announce his candidacy until about two months after that book came out. 
But Donald Trump was not the only reason to come out with a second edition. Hillary Clinton has made more statements that prove that my original contention that she is ‘apocalyptic’ is correct.
...lists 20 reasons why she is apocalyptic and also points out she, and even Donald Trump, are fulfilling certain end time prophecies.  This edition is also a dozen pages longer than the first edition.
Who's prophecies?  The Mayans?  The Hopi's? Muslim prophets?  Nostradamus? Another self-appointed Church of God leader? Fatima?  Herman Hoeh? Buddha? Elvis?

Certainly one cannot place any credence upon rantings of a Church of God leader, because the 90 year track record of COG prophecies coming to pass has been nill.  So who is one to believe?






20 comments:

Connie Schmidt said...

I do believe that Bob Thiel has been arrested!...

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT that is!

Anonymous said...

If the almost arrested one were a real prophet, he would prophesy. Instead he takes other people's prophecies and desperately searches the news for points of vague similarity.

Thiel didn't even include Trump in the first edition of his book. That shows how little he knows of the future.

Anonymous said...

Donald Trump was not mentioned in the first edition of the book as he did not announce his candidacy until about two months after that book came out.

Let me get this straight. The prophet didn't know what would happen, so he had to re-issue his book based on what he read in the news?

I thought a true prophet knows what will happen before the news reports it.

Ralph said...

from topic header:-

"....because the 90 year track record of COG prophecies coming to pass has been nill."

Can someone provide several examples of COG prophecies that have not come to pass?
That is, without wasting space on the "1975 return". I think I'm familiar with that one.

cheers
ralph.f

DennisCDiehl said...

Interesting how Gospel Jesus not so much as mentions Caligula, Claudius,Nero, Galba, Otho, Vitellius, Vespasian or Titus and these being some of the most corrupt and dangerous Ceasars in history. Of course, to "mention" them in an unflattering light would risk extermination. When reading the Gospels or Paul's writings one would never guess Roman had Jerusalem by the throat and to kick against them was always fatal.

So why is Thiel going against the example of the Gospel writers? They went along to get along .

In the Gospels and NT, one could bash Jews, Pharisees, Sadducees and other such "blind to this day" religionists. They couldn't hurt you. However, the NT makes Pilate and other Roman leaders out to practically be Christians and supportive or at least "sorry" they had to cause some problems for Jesus and Paul. Of course, this does not reflect the reality of these ruthless men.

So Bob needs to praise Hillary and Trump or at least not mention them. It's the Bible way

Byker Bob said...

It is "silly season" (sorry, NASCAR!) in the ACOGs. They are getting tired of waiting for their apocalypse, and somehow, even one of their worst scenarios, a multi-ethnic president whom they call black, has failed to bring on that apocalypse. How exasperating that must be for them!

Back in the mid-1980s, while travelling from call to call in my then Southern California territory, I used to mix Dr. Gene Scott's program into my eclectic radio listening habits. Dr. Gene used to employ something he called "geshtalting", and by this, he meant that he brought many diverse elements into his messages, aspects that traditional Christian preachers neglected, such as the traditions and teachings of other cultures, the apocryphal book of Enoch, the adventures of real live ghost hunters, speculation based on bits and pieces of the largely non-recorded activities of the original apostles, and a wide variety of other mostly unheard of resources. Dr. Scott said that bringing in these other resources presented a fuller picture.

Now, the problem with Bummer Bob doing this, is that traditional ACOG teaching is that you don't go to "pagan" resources to mix what they have to say with "God's" prophecy. That, to their way of thinking, is not unlike consulting witches or mediums. In fact, it would totally spook the ACOG mind, and Thiel would be said to have completely gone off the deep end, were it not for the fact that he uses all of this to support traditional bogus Armstrongian prophecy. As it is, Thiel's practices, mannerisms, and perrennially wounded ego probably do collectively repel most splinter surfers. He is amongst a handful of self-styled non-mainstream aspiring leaders, none of whom are preaching a message that would appeal to the broad cross-section of Armstrongites, let alone the general public.

Back in the '80s, people occasionally asked me why I listened to Dr. Gene Scott. I told them that I listened not for the religious aspects, but for entertainment. In a low grade way, that's most likely the only value to be found in the teachings of Bob Thiel. Pathetic entertainment.

BB

Anonymous said...

That's a very long title for what should be a very short book.

"Hillary Clinton, Prophecy, and the Destruction of the United States: Is Hillary Clinton Fulfilling Biblical, Islamic, Catholic, Hopi, and other America-Related Prophecies? What About Donald Trump?"

CHAPTER 1

No.

THE END

Anonymous said...

Bob is guessing, like everyone else. I knew many people in church like that. They would talk in confident authoritative tones, but if they were honest, they would say 'this might happen, or that is a possibility. or it reminds me of that scripture, but I'm not sure of anything I say.' You realize all this after getting to know them. This behaviour is rampant.

Stephen said...

"Donald Trump was not mentioned in the first edition of the book as he did not announce his candidacy until about two months after that book came out."

Gee whiz, that would be a great excuse for anyone who didn't claim to be a prophet...

Anonymous said...

To Dennis-

Please stop speaking truth, homeslice!

You might give someone here a heart attack!

You must LIE if you love MODERN DAY JESUS!

Har har har!
Just kidding!! Kind of.

Love, Phineas and phriends

Anonymous said...

i can recall dr. thiel wringing his hands and tearing out his hair when obama came to office; ironically i can recall dr. meredith saying that gw bush would, and im paraphrasing, buy america more time before it was destroyed (ironically this nation accelerated towards destruction on his watch)...

Anonymous said...

"The subtitle has been changed to include information about Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump. Donald Trump was not mentioned in the first edition of the book as he did not announce his candidacy until about two months after that book came out."

How come prophet Thiel realize in advance that Donald Trump would run for office? Not much of a prophet.

Black Ops Mikey said...

There is a television series by J. J. Abrams which best describes the Armstrongist Churches of God: Fringe -- available for free on Amazon Prime.

Most of the series represents much more sensible views of the world, as far out as they may be, than the ACoGs.

Anonymous said...


Almost Arrested Thiel writes:

“The subtitle has been changed to include information about Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump. Donald Trump was not mentioned in the first edition of the book as he did not announce his candidacy until about two months after that book came out.”



Enough of that “Almost Arrested” stuff. Bob Thistle needs to be Fully Arrested.

Of course when Bob Thistle published the first edition of his book he could not possibly have known that a mere two months later Donald Trump would decide to run for President of the United States (POTUS). How could a false prophet like Bob Thistle ever possibly look two whole months ahead and see something like that coming?

Once again it looks like the demons did not tip off the pagans in Nigeria in time for them to tell Bob Thistle what was coming so he could include it in the first edition of his book. Or maybe the demons did tell the pagans in Nigeria but the pagans neglected to relay the message to Bob Thistle in time. Maybe the pagans in Nigeria can now excitedly and sincerely explain to Bob Thistle that they knew all about all of this a whole month before any of it happened but that the message conveniently got lost for a while in their old Nigerian mail system, which is world famous for doing interesting things. Bob Thistle can then dazzle everyone by repeating all these Nigerian tales and more in a future edition of his book.

False prophets like Bob Thistle will just waste everyone's time writing and updating his prophetic guesses. Maybe he should just wait and see what actually happens first, and then try to write a history of it. Maybe he would have slightly better luck trying to write history than prophecy, though the temptation to write revisionist history could be strong, as it was with his story of being anointed to the office of a prophet.

DennisCDiehl said...

BB I watched Dr. Gene Scott for entertainment value as well! He was a hoot and yet well read for sure. I think the toy monkey clanking cymbals was his trademark! He was weird in an interesting way for sure.

DennisCDiehl said...


Think about it. Herbert Armstrong is DEAD. Garner Ted Armstrong is DEAD. Hermann Hoeh is DEAD. Dean Blackwell is DEAD. Gerald Waterhouse is DEAD. John Halford is DEAD. Joe Tkach is DEAD. Gerald Flurry is coming up. Roderick Meredith is even at the door....

I'm seeing a pattern here.

“I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is.”
― Alan W. Watts

“Gratitude looks to the Past and love to the Present; fear, avarice, lust, and ambition look ahead.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

“We are living in a culture entirely hypnotized by the illusion of time, in which the so-called present moment is felt as nothing but an infintesimal hairline between an all-powerfully causative past and an absorbingly important future. We have no present. Our consciousness is almost completely preoccupied with memory and expectation. We do not realize that there never was, is, nor will be any other experience than present experience. We are therefore out of touch with reality. We confuse the world as talked about, described, and measured with the world which actually is. We are sick with a fascination for the useful tools of names and numbers, of symbols, signs, conceptions and ideas.”
― Alan W. Watts

Byker Bob said...

Yeah, Dennis! "Play it again! I need about 100 more Gideons to sign up, and we're not going to continue the message until we've got them. Telephone numbers are.......,"

Dr. Scott always wore a black leather jacket except for the Sunday broadcasts. I still remember his Haloween broadcast. At the start, all the lights were turned off, and the first image you caught was of Dr. Scott lighting up the tobacco in a huge skull shaped pipe. Walter Martin, the Bible Answer Man, to whom I also listened, critiqued Scott, stating that a Christian would not be remarking that he had just circumcised his cigar. Dr. Gene was fluent in many of the ancient languages, such as Ethiopic and Syriac. He said his target was the uncommon man. He was brilliant from a casual standpoint, but having been burned before, I was extremely cautious about getting any closer, or becoming one of his insiders. Last I knew, his former porn star wife had taken over his ministry.

BB

DennisCDiehl said...

Play it again! Lol

Anonymous said...

I also liked Gene Scott's toy monkey clanking it's cymbals!

Do we have to bring that monkey out of mothballs in order to have him clank about all the ways and times that COG[HWA's] prophecies have not come to pass? Just to conform to Ralph's tricky requests?

Oh, that poor mechanical monkey would wear itself out clanking out HWA's many false prophecies. (And that's without the "1975" one.)

Of course, by now, Ralph has to have come across what are considered to be HWA's many many many many other false prophecies, but wants a chance to tell others that those are not really real prophecies.

I don't blame Ralph. It's probably more the fault of con men like HWA, and maybe other con men that Ralph fell for.

Anonymous said...

Gene Scot was alright I liked "I Wanna Know" a lot better than that drivel we had to sing and listen to in the COGs.And his wife had been in the porno industry?