Sunday, October 8, 2017

The Stages of Anguish A Survivor Experiences When Leaving The Church


16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Since splinter members have already left WCG, it seems to me that the vast majority have been stuck at "Loneliness" or "Depression" for many years. Once I left my splinter group, it quickly became clear that my former cult-mades had great difficulty in forming substantial new relationships, and that many remained terribly lonely even in large groups because they were afraid to disclose their thoughts and feelings honestly, since those who did so would usually be shunned or even disfellowshipped.

Sam S. said...

I think the model at the top of this post is fairly accurate. Everybody reacts a little different depending upon their situation. When it was all said and done for me leaving a cog, the conclusion that I came to; was when God started working with me, he did not call me to a square box or organization most today call a church. He called me to a way of life. When I say a way of life, I do not mean all of that which HWA taught (some of it), but that which I can substantiate within the Bible. That is what I believe, and what I practice. I believe in whatever we do, consistency is key.

Anonymous said...

Well I didn't leave too long ago but hope I can get pass the stage of loneliness and depression before it kills me.

Anonymous said...

I had severe head aches after leaving my group. I still have head aches but they are not as severe. I am still very depressed and lonely.

Anonymous said...

The secret is to build a new life. Forget all the bullshit, and by that I include the ludicrousness of the Bible, it's false history, non-existent god, the whole works. I did that rather quickly, and although my life is not idyllic in many respects, I'm not depressed, have never contemplated suicide, etc. There are many resources out there including interesting clubs and associations in which you can build a new social life and have real friends. Avoid anything that has at its core getting you to support them financially. Most political movements are as bad as churches. When you respond to emails to sign petitions, etc., did you ever notice that a donation page comes up automatically. That's the signal to run, not walk, to the delete button.

Allen C. Dexter

Anonymous said...

I noticed suicide isn't on the list.

Anonymous said...

Back in the 80's at the WCG congregation a married couple began attending and because of the feast they both lost their jobs, lost their house because they no longer could afford to make payments, the state took their kids away from them, the couple eventually got a divorce and not long after the man killed himself. That is what happens to a lot of people who get sucked into the Armstrong deadly cults!

Anonymous said...

Wow,I heard many horror stories about people who committed suicide after waking up and realising how much they screwed up their lives, I know I screwed up mine,I just hope that I too don't end up another fatal casualty of Armstrongism. I try everyday to go forward but depression is a bitch.

Anonymous said...

"... because of the feast they both lost their jobs, lost their house"

American's can't tolerate anyone who keeps different days off, so they get fired. And yet we're told diversity is a good thing, so we are supposed to all get along better if we have different religions and keep different days as well as doing a host of other things differently and having different ideals. If the COG teaches us anything it's that people can't tolerate people who are different, and the isolation, loneliness, depression and suicides result more from being different than it does from the actual beliefs of Armstrongism itself. At the feast they can all be happy together because they are all (more or less) on the same page, believing the same thing, and doing the same things. Unity. (The opposite of diversity).

Anonymous said...

"At the feast they all can be happy" . I call bull shit on that one! I know people who went to the feast on a shoe string budget and had to go back home in the middle of the feast because they ran out of money and I knew another family who couldn't afford a hotel room at the feast site in Biloxi so they had to stay at a nasty roach motel 2 hours away from the feast site and they had to bring food from their home because they couldn't afford to eat out like every other asshole at the feast.

Byker Bob said...

When I left in 1975, it was as if I had just wiped, gotten off the toilet, and flushed twice to make sure that everything toxic had gone down.

For the next couple years, I was too busy partying to be sad or lonely, and I hung out with a lot of people from different cultures who made me realize that I was not so much of a pariah or freak. It was very liberating. Participating in diversity was just the rehabillitative therapy that I needed. I really enjoyed going to parties and other occasions where I was the only white or Anglo person. I came to realize that the more we are different, the more we are the same!

BB

Anonymous said...

I'd call bullshit on the entire droning COGlodyte post in general, To this day I don't know that I've ever seen an unhappier bunch of people in one location psychotically trying to convince themselves otherwise.

Anonymous said...

I slept in on Saturdays, drank more than 2 drinks on the weekends and spent time with my family. :)

Anonymous said...

Most COG people enjoy the feast and consider it the best time of year so for the most part they are happy for a few days. Anyone pretending not to know that is the one who is lying. Who are these liars trying to fool? Current church members? Ex members? How is that going to work? They can posture and pretend and say what they think is politically correct on this blog but who are they really fooling?

Anonymous said...

They're only happy a few days out of the year? You're not selling your product very well. ;)

Anonymous said...

Yea, well, I to am a victim as recently as February 2017, (see link,https://hwarmstrong.com/blog/2017/05/20/suspended-from-the-living-church-of-god/ ).

I to am going through Shock,anger, depression, feelings of loneliness, etc., but I look forward to going to work everyday (getting out), that helps some. I did nothing wrong, but I will heal, it will just take some time. But I have seen the hypocritical ways, and the attitudes with the ministers, it's their way or the highway, very sad. I have visited three COD groups in my 23 years of attending, and it appears that all of them have the same attitude of "We're right, your wrong". "Our opinion counts, your does not". If you disagree with them, don't give in, then they make up some kind of excuse to suspend you and or disfellowship you, what a waste of time I spent those 23-24 years or so. UCG, LCG, never attended COGWA, but I was black balled from there, April this year, loll I still don't know why.