Monday, January 13, 2020

The Way of the Waffling Prophet:


waffle
[ˈwäfəl]

VERB
waffling (present participle)


  1. NORTH AMERICAN
    fail to make up one's mind.
    "Joseph had been waffling over where to go"

  2. BRITISH
    speak or write, especially at great length, without saying anything important or useful.
    "he waffled on about everything that didn't matter"
    synonyms:
    prattle · chatter · babble · ramble · jabber · gibber · gabble · gab · burble · run on · mutter · mumble · prate · drivel · bleat · cackle · hum and haw · blather · rabbit · witter · natter · flannel

The Way of the The Waffling Prophet










Armageddon Will it come on Trump’s watch?

Now personally, I don't believe that Dr Thiel has an insincere bone in his body. I fully believe that he sincerely believes his own press and place in the Biblical scheme of things. I think, like I was myself, that he, and all in the COG way of being,  is still stuck in the "The Wonderful World Tomorrow. What It Will Be Like"  and "Are we living in the Last Days?" mode.  We can all access what the Bible says. It is what it means, for whom and when,  that divides everyone into a thousand different churches each led by someone who knows themselves to be more correct than all the others. Personally I have never met anyone that said they attended the false Church and knew they were sadly mistaken about their beliefs.

And too, it is no surprise here that I do not personally believe any human being not then and not now can "pre-dict" the future. From bones and stones to visions and revelations, I simple don't believe it to be how life works. Much Bible prophecy did not come to pass as advertised and all sorts of apologetics have been invented to make them seem as if they did no matter the doubts.  Also, and this is especially true with regards to the Birth and Death Narratives in the NT, what seems prophetic is simply OT scriptures mined by writers who needed to tell and upgraded tale and "according to the scriptures" became more true than most like to believe. It was not according to history or to reality. The Book of Revelation is a failed first century prediction that the Romans would be driven out of Jerusalem and the Jews and Jewish Christians would prevail. They weren't and they didn't. None of it is for our times though certainly can be used as if it was. That's the nature of vague prophecy uttered with hyperbole and dramatic content.  I once asked a well educated theologian who his comments on Revelation.  He said whoever wrote it was on good drugs.

That said...

Dr. Bob Thiel's way of being a prophet hardly abides at all in the Biblical model of "Thus saith the Lord" or "I was in vision on the Lord's Day..."  

Bob is the Prophet of Waffle.  Rather than make bold statements such as "Trump fulfills Ezekiel 32", "This Roman leader changed times!", "Petra IS the Place of Safety!" and "Armageddon WILL come on Trump's watch!", he knows better than to do that evidently.  Very risky as to one's credibility as a prophet if you keep getting it wrong. Better to leave waffle and wiggle room and at least be able to say "I NEVER SAID IT WOULD HAPPEN! I only asked if it COULD". If need be, this line can be followed by "You people just don't get it!" or "It's SPIIIIRITUAL!"  Always have a personal out.

Dr Bob's is to waffle...

Waffle Bob will always have the advantage to say both "We (I) in the Continuing Church of God predicted (which is also not the same as prophesied)  this!  So see, I am a Prophet!" or simply deny or never mention that which didn't come to pass. Take credit for a good guess and not responsibility for an inaccurate one. 

It's easier and less risky to say "Are the fires in Australia as sign of God's judgment?" than "The Fires in Australia are a sign of God's judgment."  Someone is bound to point out that much of it is arson.

  Dave Pack is the Master of the Non-Waffle Prophecy and still manages to blot the blunders out of his mind and the minds of all those who love bold BS. Bob seems to avoid this problem with the Art of the Waffle. 

Dr. Bob posts 20 Waffle Ready things to watch for prophetically in the coming year. 



1. Scoffers and the Modern Media
(And BannedHWA)


2. Morality Prophecies Being Fulfilled Daily (Sodom and Gomorrah)
(People behaving as they always have)


3. Internet Censorship
(Of ME, which I seriously doubt as well, though others should be)


4. Weather Sorrows and Troubles
(As usual on earth)


5. Earthquakes
(Your continent floats on a sea of liquid rock dufus)

6. The White Horse of the Apocalypse (Pope Francis, Vatican, Ecumenical Movement)
(Don't forget "This is the LAST POPE and he will change his name to Peter" again.)

7. Strife and the Red Horse of War
(Nothing new here)

8. Trade
(Which of course has been going on since Neolithic times)

9. The Deal of Daniel 9:27 (Donald Trump, Palestinians)
(I thought it was Truman, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Clinton, Bush?)

10. Knowledge Increasing (5G)
(But not what the James Webb Space Telescope might reveal or Hubel has.  Knowledge increasing has always been a troubling prophetic trend for the Church.)

11. Debt
(Big time Prophetic topic!)

12. US Dollar Dominance will Decrease (Instex)
(They all do in time)

13. Cash, 666 (Legal Entity Identifier), & Gold (Russia, China, Romania, Poland)
(Not to mention  Estonia, Lithuania, Slovenia and Uzbekistan!" 


14. Europe Will Work to Reorganize
(Women will clean their houses and men will help occasionally!)


15. Europe Will Have a Great Army (Ursula von der Leyen)
(Hey, what happened to Karl Theodor  Von Pretty Boy?)


16. Steps Towards the Formation of the King of the South Will Occur
(Lindsey Graham?)


17. The Time of the Gentiles will Lead to Armageddon (Velt and Road Initiative)
(It's always been the time of the Gentiles. That would be most humans actually)


18. Jews Ready to Sacrifice
(Bring on the Red Heifer!)


19. Fulfillment of Matthew 24:14; 28:19-20 
(Gospel of the Kingdom and the Short Work)
(Not again! You're just saying that because you think your time is the time. Besides, "short", "shortly" and "soon" mean "long", "longer" and "never" in prophetic talk)


20. 2020 Presidential election.
("What's all this talk about  Presidential Erections?"  Elections!
"Oh, never mind"
Rosana Rosanna Danna)


Let's face it, if Dr. Bob was Matthew or Luke, who really weren't the real Matthew or Luke BTW, his prophecy of Jesus  would sound like this...

"Could God send a Son to die for our sins?"

"Did Jesus cleanse us from Football?"

"Is Bethlehem a reasonable place to be born?"

"Could Mary have stayed with Cousin Elizabeth in Jerusalem instead of a stable?"

"Could Jesus be wrapped in swaddling clothes and just what is swaddle?"  

"Could  the whole world be  taxed by Caesar?"

"Will Wise Men  see a star in the East and Go West?"  

"Real Star or Just an Angel?" 

"Could Mary be the Virgin of Isaiah 7:14?"

"Will she name him Immanuel and does it mean "God with us" or "God IS With us"?  "Does it matter"

"Could Jesus be the Messiah of Psalm 22"

"Will Jesus, the possible Messiah of Psalm 22, call himself a worm and not a man?"
(v. 6)

"Will Herod be the Beast of Jerusalem and think to slaughter the innocents?"

"Will Mary and Joseph tell the other parents to grab their children and run Or will they just quietly leave knowing something they don't know?" 

Musings on Waffles...

"I've waffled before. I'll waffle again."  Howard Dean

"A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap."  Mitch Hedberg


"Sounded like a load of waffle to me." "There was some important stuff hidden in the waffle."  J.K. Rowling



"Way, way back in the day, like in the 1990s, if you wanted to tell everyone you ate waffles for breakfast, you couldn’t just go on the Internet and tweet it out. There was only one way to do it. You had to go outside and scream at the top of your lungs, 'I ate waffles for breakfast!' That’s why so many people ended up in institutions. They seemed crazy, but when you think about it, they were just ahead of their time."  Ellen DeGeneres"

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Funny Dennis!

I also think that tired Bob is sincere, but deluded.
Before he got involved with harmstrongism I wonder if he tried to get in with the Catholics as a prophet but got rejected? Just like trying to get on a high school football team. He got rejected. Somewhere down the line he discovered he was wired for religion and the rest is history.

Anonymous said...

This hilarious! And, oh sooooooooo true!

Tonto said...

Bob should quit "WAFLLING" , and become a "POP TART"

Pack is "FRUIT LOOPS", Weinland "FLAT JACKs", Flurry "SCRAMBLED EGGS", Malm - "GRAPE NUTS"

Anonymous said...

Tonto, you've missed it. Bob is indeed breakfast, but he is neither waffle nor tart. He is a FLAKE. Possibly a CORN FLAKE. Maybe SPECIAL B.

Feastgoer said...

Reminding me of another COG minister, now deceased, who said a few years that Pope Francis "will be the last Pope.... unless he dies."

I meant to ask him if he said that as a joke. Now I have to wait for the Kingdom to find out.

Byker Bob said...

Bob Thiel is just a different kind of garbage man. He delivers the garbage as opposed to picking it up.

BB

Anonymous said...

Part of Bob's probs is his website, the /News section. Here we get a linear display of his overly long posts, with the lengthy stash of links at the end. And each new post to be splatted on the site is taken to be the same level of (un)importance.

Byker Bob said...

Well, I hope that all of these pseudo prophets realize that today's church children, some day, will be reflecting upon their Armstrongite heritage, and will be saying to themselves, "I sure wish they had only lied to us about Santa Claus! It would have been much less damaging!"

BB

Lake of Fire Church of God said...

When is Cartoon Bob going to crank out another animation? Does Cartoon Bob lack the faith in walking through the open door of animation which he claims God gave to his Continuing Church of God?

Richard

the Ocelot said...

Or Trix Trix are for kid

Anonymous said...

Scripture doesn't "waffle"....false flakes do (eg Theil)

Dan 9 was fulfilled when Cyrus sent the Jews back to Jerusalem, there is No "last seven years".

Trump is the King of the North from Dan 11:40-44.

USA/NATO/Israel is the military power of the King of the North, as you can watch on your nightly news.

The King of the South is Iran (Persia), the Shiite Muslims in the Levant.

The Kings from the East, obviously, are the BRICS nations, led by Russsia/China.

The G7 are the seven heads from Rev 13.

The Club of Rome has set the "Ten Zones" (ten horns) of Rev 13.

The Roman Catholic Church (pope) is the second beast of Rev 13/Rev 17.

As Johnny Cash said, it's going by the book....you can watch it on the news.


How's that for waffling, Dennis?

nck said...

Reading 6:11 I wonder if the bible prophecy writers work for Godman Sachs asset management.

I mean "Brics", G7, Iran (while gta claimed syria and hwa egypt/somalia etc"......) common.

nck

Anonymous said...

nck said...

Reading 6:11 I wonder if the bible prophecy writers work for Godman Sachs asset management.

I mean "Brics", G7, Iran (while gta claimed syria and hwa egypt/somalia etc"......) common.

nck
January 16, 2020 at 12:17 AM


I have a copy of "1975 in Prophecy" sitting nearby. I read it when it came in the mail to our house. I was about 7 years old. HWA/GTA are dead, and they were both wrong.

The beast is here today roaring and smashing and trampling it's way across the Middle East, just as Daniel said. You can watch it on the news.