Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Dear Brethren, We Realize You Are Too Stupid To Know How To Read, So Let Us Tell You How


How To Read: AC Correspondence Course 1970

In the Ambassador College Correspondence Course, Lesson 36, in 1970 - the Church told it's members and readers of the Correspondence Course how to read. Here's what they said: 

  • Don't waste time reading trashy novels filled with sex and filth. 
  • Don't read comic books filled with violence and gore. 
  • Choose profitable, useful, educational books. 
  • Choose books on history, ecology, pollution, the population explosion, and other world problems. 
  • Visit the non-fiction section of your local library. 
  • Read Rise and Fall of the Third Reich, Too Many, Famine - 1975, Our Precarious Habitat, The Hidden Persuaders
  • Read a weekly news magazine for reports on global affairs. 
  • Read books on getting things done like How To Get More Done in Less Time, The Technique of Getting Things Done, Streamlining Your Executive Workload
  • Read worthwhile books, magazines, and important news. 
After telling you WHAT to read, now they tell you HOW to read. 

  • Read with a purpose, not aimlessly. 
  • Concentrate.
  • Pause from time to time to summarize the material. 
  • Think about what you are reading. 
  • Read faster.
  • Skim unimportant sections and trivia. 
  • Take a reading course for faster reading. 
  • Mark the material. 
  • Underline the important sections. 
  • Put stars or asterisks in the margin. 
There. Now you can be perfectly assimilated on what to read and how to read it. Because you were never adult enough to make up your own mind or your own choices on reading. It was these doctrines that caused:

  • Parents to forbid fiction reading for children
  • Parents to think imagination or fantasy was wrong for children
  • Parents to forbid all comic books (even the tame ones!)
  • Married couples to be completely unimaginative and dull in the bedroom. 
  • The most marked up books ever found in Garage Sales ;) 
  • People to watch shows such as Wall Street Week or Washington Week in Review to fulfill their "watch" Obligations. 
Books they recommended: (Fear religion!) 


z
(Read the Reviews - Trash)

(Fearing Famine)

(Fearing the Germans)

submitted by SHT

Church of God Quality Control Form - Ministers



On a five grade level, A - F - Rate your minister on the following Biblical principles and qualifications for a Minister of Jesus Christ.

A = Yes, Absolutely
B = I Believe So, Mostly.
C = Nothing exceptional, or not sure.
D = He's pretty bad at this.
F = Absolutely not. 


The Pauline Principles (Titus 1:5-9)

1. Is your minister above reproach?

2. Does your minister have children who believe?

3. Is your minister the husband of one wife?

4. Has your minister been accused of rebellion?

5. Is your minister not self willed?

6. Is your minister not quick tempered?

7. Is your minister not addicted to wine (alcohol)?

8. Is your minister not pugnacious? ****

9. Is your minister not fond of sordid gain? *

10. Is your minister hospitable?

11. Does your minister love what is good?

12. Is your minister sensible?

13. Is your minister just?

14. Is your minister devout?

15. Is your minister self controlled?
Does your minister fit the criteria of "One who must be silenced"? (Removed from the ministry by their superiors) (Titus 1)

1. Is your minister upsetting whole families?

2. Is your minister an empty talker and a deceiver?

3. Is your minister rebellious?

4. Is your minister teaching things for the sake of sordid gain? *

5. Does your minister deny God by their deeds?

Does your minister exhibit the Fruits of the Spirit? 

1. Does your minister exhibit love?
2. Does your minister exhibit joy?

3. Does your minister exhibit patience?

4. Does your minister exhibit peace?

5. Does your minister exhibit kindness?

6. Does your minister exhibit goodness?

7. Does your minister exhibit faithfulness?

8. Does your minister exhibit gentleness?

9. Does your minister exhibit self control?

Does your minister adhere to the principles of Basic Christianity?

1. Is your minister sexually immoral?

2. Is your minister an idolater?

3. Is your minister an adulterer?

4. Is your minister sexually deviant?

5. Is your minister a thief?

6. Is your minister greedy?

7. Is your minister a drunkard?

8. Is your minister a reviler? **

9. Is your minister a swindler? ***
* Sordid: involving ignoble actions and motives; arousing moral distaste and contempt.

** Reviler: to criticize in an abusive or hostile way, or to spread negative information about.

*** Swindlers are scammers who con people to make a buck. (Google def. throughout)

**** Pugnacious: quick to argue, quarrel, or fight.



How did your minister do? 

What was your minister's average score? 

What does this tell you? 

How should you respond? 

If you were their superior, would you fire him/her? 

If you would fire him or her, do you not know you still can - by ceasing your relationship with a person not qualified to spiritually advise you? 

Words to think about.