Deconstructing Herbert Armstrong

"When my interest was first turned on to religious subjects....I knew that such unattractive, cheap looking, carelessly-designed literature never would sell goods, if used to carry the message of a selfish-motivated BUSINESS [and] cheapened the whole message by the psychological effect I knew....it inevitably had on those who saw it.....was less convincing......"

Translated:

"When I found how religion could profit, I knew that such cheap literature never would sell the message of a religious business by the psychological effect I knew it inevitably had on those who saw it."

contributed by SHT

Are you willing to take correction from Bob Thiel?

The great doubly-blessed self-appointed prophet from Arroyo Grande has posted one of his sermons for his so-called "feast".  It is part 10 of a 10-part sermons series consisting of a jumbled mess of hundreds of topics in those 10 sermons.  Just look at the subjects in this 10th sermon.

Thiel says you MUST be open to correction by himl and his minion ministers, then starts discussing fools, thieves, children, dating, speaking, and "not" pride. Then there is wealth, linen/flax processing, clothing and cotton. It doesn't take much thinking by a COG member to know where he is headed with this malarkey. He then covers the prophetic ramifications of Proverbs, ignoring the fact his prophecies have been epic failures.

Just imagine 10 weeks of listening to this crap with him bouncing all over the place.  No focus on a specific topic, but on hundreds and hundreds of things that almost all in the church could care less about. As he preaches about these issues through the lenses of a privileged American, the Africans in his group could care less.

Proverbs 29-31: Are You Willing to Learn From God’s Word?

This is the tenth part of a ten-part sermon series covering the Book of Proverbs. In this sermon,. Dr. Thiel covers all the verses in the 29th, 30th, and 31st chapters of the Book of Proverbs. He goes over why Christians should accept correction, dealing with trials and temptations, being a Proverbs 31 wife, being a Proverbs 31 husband, and other aspects of Christian living. He goes over verses related to fools, thieves, children, dating, speaking, and not pride. He goes over items that God’s word says to do as well as not to do. He mentions Solomon, Agur, Ithiel, and Lemuel. He even discusses work, wealth, linen/flax processing, clothes, and cotton. He also discusses prophetic ramifications of some of the verses in the Book of Proverbs. Furthermore, Dr. Thiel ties in various passages in the New Testament to show that the scriptures in Proverbs are also intended for Christians in the end times–including items related to the Beast and Antichrist.

What HWA Said Christ would Ask when He Returns: "How Much Did You Give to The Work?"

Herbert Armstrong's gold dinnerware that he used 

while begging us to send more money in.

One of the sickest, most wretched examples of the greed of HWA was found in a co-worker letter of February 21, 1974. 

In this long, drawn-out co-worker letter, which, "coincidentally" was drafted two months before opening date of Ambassador Auditorium, HWA said that when Jesus Christ returns, He will "demand of each of us to show how much we have used the GIFT of His Holy Spirit - how much we have CONTRIBUTED to His Work -- the PURPOSE for which 

He put us in His Church NOW! He will demand of each of us to show how much we have grown spiritually in the way of God's Law -- the way of CONTRIBUTING AND GIVING. Those who prove disloyal or drop out of the Work -- THE ONLY PURPOSE FOR WHICH YOU WERE CALLED NOW -- will find themselves in the position of the one described..."

Of course, he meant the Lake of Fire, and loss of salvation.

Why? Because you stopped giving to Herbert's Building Fund - "the purpose for which you were called" - because you were "getting" and Herbert was not.

Herbert Armstrong was extremely skilled at "Spiritual Double Talk", and you can see that in the quote above. He will first use the religious context to justify himself, and follow it with the physical context - what he really means to say. 

"The Gift of The Holy Spirit...how much we have contributed to His Work."

"Grown spiritually in the way of God's Law...Contributing and Giving."

Saying and preaching that on Christ's Return, that Christ would ask of the brethren "How much have you CONTRIBUTED to His Work?" and "CONTRIBUTING AND GIVING" was a very deceiving way to shroud a physical appeal for financial funds into a spiritual call of contribution. 

The End of the letter proves this:

It was YOUR job to fund Herbert's going before kings, presidents, emperors, prime ministers, and the Leaders of many nations as God's and YOUR representative.

If was YOUR job to fund him getting the "message of the Kingdom of God into all the world" - which he was not doing even in the slightest.

"Let's put our hearts and fervent PRAYERS" always meant "SEND MONEY". 

Let there be no doubt - in all of his writings, the picture becomes clear. 

Herbert had severe financial concerns. He was concerned that he had to meet the long-term 15+ year loans that he had spent the last 14 years sucking the blood and life out of enough good-hearted and scared out of their minds people through the extortionate threat of losing salvation, the tribulation, and Petra, and every conceivable tactic of manipulation and guilt to get the glorious oh so holy Master Plan of Herbert finally completed. Now he had to meet the obligations. If people drop out, and he didn't meet the revenue, he had a problem. Of course, it would have been your fault. So he had to keep up the pressure. At least until the loans were finally paid off  - somewhere 15 to 25 years from then. Oh, somewhere around the Middle 1990s.

He was concerned that now that he has these loans etched in stone for the Auditorium, his lavish world-travelling lifestyle talking about "A Strong Hand from Somewhere" and "world peace" would not be able to continue.

He admitted - if you will boldly read between the lines (ignoring his salesmanship, and looking at it in the context of a businessman) at the context of all of his writings over 40 years - that the purpose of the Worldwide Church of God was to FUND Herbert's "message"  and "work" on Earth. 

And expensive buildings, luxury treasures, and paintings, suits, dinners, outings, trips, expense accounts - all under the pretense of religion. ALL while the worst types of sin and debauchery were constantly happening at Headquarters from the ministers and leadership of the Church - who were doing a worldly work with worldly principles. 

What an abomination to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. What a deception to all those who fell for it. What a GOAL for crooked ministers who saw business potential. 

Which explains so much of today's problems in the COG's. 

Contributed by SHT. Read additional original material, or Contact SHT at The "Owl in Some Poor Wasteland" Blog, which is linked here. 

UCG: Aaron Dean Suffers Stroke and Brain Bleeds

Church of God News is reporting that Aaron Dean has suffered a stroke and had two brain bleeds.

United Church of GodThe Church of God Big Sandy reports that, “This week, Aaron Dean of Cincinnati, Ohio, suffered a stroke and two brain bleeds. He initially became weak on his left side. The family reports that he was conscious and expressing that he was doing fine. The doctors discussed the possibility of doing a procedure to remove some “blood off the brain.” He and the family appreciate your prayers.” 

Aaron Dean was due to give the main message on Monday afternoon, the 1st day of the festival, at the Church of God International site at Kentucky Dam Village (Land Between the Lakes). Richard Crow will now give the sermon.

It has been interesting to read Pharisee James Malm's blog recently as Malm has spent quite a bit of effort calling Aaron Dean a liar.   Pharisee Malm has been getting his legalistic panties with fringes on then, all in a tight knot over the last couple weeks as he claims United Church of God is changing its belief that Jesus is the god of the Old Testament. The spittle from the self-righteous one has been flying fast and furious, even though Aaron Dean has repeatedly told Malm he was wrong.

The COG pharisee writes:

The Doctrinal Committee recommends that the statement “Jesus is the God of the Old Testament” be removed from UCG and no longer used.  They will have a formal Study Paper supporting the position that Jesus was not the God of the Old Covenant for CoE approval in December. The CoE can approve such doctrinal papers and make them official in a simplified process due to the new formula for changing doctrines passed in May.  

They use a lot of double talk saying without any evidence [all evidence being to the contrary] that because the Father was alluded to in the Old Testament they surmise that he must have been the God of the Mosaic Covenant.  

Without doubt this is a dramatic departure from both Armstrong and Holy Scripture and is a massive  change in UCG towards the evangelical idea that God the Father was the God of the Mosaic Covenant; while Jesus brought the New Covenant which they falsely claim exalts “love” above God’s law; when God’s love [including all of the statutes, precepts and judgments which God gave to Moses] is love and defines godly love.   

The groundwork was laid for this move to the evangelical by the recent new Trinity booklet and the Mark Mickelson paper.  Also see this article.

On top of that nonsense, Pharisee Malm is claiming that Aaron Dean forced HWA into appointing Joseph Tkach as his successor.

Pharisee Malm writers (in bold type):

1. Aaron Dean

   15/09/2018 at 11:42 

   I never asked HWA to appoint Tkach.

   Herbert was senile and stoned on medicinal drugs, and Aaron told him to follow Hoeh’s advice knowing full well what Hoeh would recommend, but did not directly recommend Tkach, preferring to place the onus on Hoeh.!

   Nor did I support his lies or apostasy. If I did, I would not have been removed from all positions HWA gave me and that he made JWT promise to keep me in. My career path proves that I fought him at every turn. I am not sure what ‘history the above person “looked into.” The conclusions are false, but people are allowed to believe what they want.

   Aaron, I notice that you said my conclusions are false [I made no conclusions] but you carefully avoided saying my facts are wrong, choosing instead to engage in obfuscation and weaseling of the facts. Those not familiar with these words should Google: “Define and the word”.

   Aaron, you were Herbert’s adviser, confidant and chief flatterer for five years, you were the only one he really trusted in his particularly vulnerable state nearing his end. When you advised him to do what Herman wanted, you were giving the leadership to Tkach on a silver platter.

   Tkach did not even begin efforts at change until he set up his doctrinal project in 89, so your comment about being fired by HWA if you supported changes by Tkach is irrelevant obfuscation.

   As for you fighting changes, you have admitted that you stayed with Tkach after his open changes in Jan 95; and you admit that you only left in 97 because AC closed [i.e. you were being laid off], even UCG was formed in 95. Then you tried to deny involvement with UCG before 2010 when you were a member of their CoE from 1999.

   Aaron you started this thread with an obviously false denial that a change was being made in UCG, and look where it is now. This whole thread started by you, is more a desperate attempt at self-justification by espousing a dedicated idolatry of HWA than anything else.

   Aaron you are either lying and supporting the Tkach agenda of your associates, or you are deceiving yourself in order to justify yourself in your own eyes; having been duped into actually believing that the serious changes underway in UCG are not changes at all, with these same folks using you once again as a cloak for their activities!

   Meanwhile you miss the point that we are to be loyal to GOD, NOT HWA or anyone else!

   The scriptures say that “a thousand years is as a day.” This Feast when you stand up and say that you are celebrating the millennium; you are being loyal to HWA but you are in defiance of Holy Scripture! In this and many other things Herbert was wrong, because it was prophesied in Daniel 12 that much understanding would be sealed until the very end; yet you claim to be faithful to him in all his errors.

   You reject godliness for idolatry of men, and that idolatry of men has opened you up to be deceived by men!
   James

In Pharisee Malm's legalistic eyes everyone is wrong but him.  Next to the self-appointed, doubly-blessed Bob Thiel, the Church of God has never had such a blatant liar as Pharisee Malm.  No matter how much Aaron Dean tells Malm he is wrong, the great Pharisee spits and snarls that Dean is lying.

While I hesitate to send you to the Pharisaical blasphemer's site, you can check it out here to see how vicious he is towards Aaron.

Rod Meredith on how he thought ministers should be in the end times

Tomorrow's World, July/August 1970

In 1970, Rod Meredith described what he thought ministers in the COG should be like in the end times.  The quotes above certainly do NOT describe any 

Living Church of God minister or leader today.  

"Without fear or favor..."

Current leaders of all the spinter groups do all they can to not offend anyone around.

Meredith's description does not even describe Bob Thiel, James Malm and the other henchmen currently leading various splinter groups. 

Who would have ever guessed that 48-years later 

the COG would be run by such weak, namby-pamby men?

nam·by-pam·byˌnambēˈpambē/
adjective

derogatory

1.
lacking energy, strength, or courage; feeble or effeminate in behavior or expression.
"these weren't namby-pamby fights, but brutal affairs where heads hit the sidewalk"
synonyms:

1. 
   

clippings courtesy of SHT, comments mine

DO NOT ask questions, especially twiggy ones!

Most colleges and universities encourage students to ask questions. Good churches also let members ask questions. So what about Ambassador College?

"One year a First Year student started studying all types of twiggy
questions about the Bible. He used books like, "The Age of Reason". Months later
he left college, but not before he had seriously affected several other First Years.
Anything like this should be reported to the ministers immediately . The damage
that can be done by such an individual should not be underestimated. Watch for
others who may be religious hobbyists, studying Billy Graham, Jehovah's Witnesses,Mormonism, and us. Don't preach to them, but set a proper example to them, and keep an eye on them. Keep Mr. Hunting Informed."

"Set the Example"

courtesy of SHT

Don't Eat Too Many Hamburgers After Atonement! Don't Drink Beer And Discuss the Bible! Don't Do This, Don't Do That...................

Like everything else in life, the church tried to regulate every aspect of members and college students lives.  As any Ambassador College student knows, when the Day of Atonement was over, they flocked to local restaurants and pigged out.  The college brass found this to be disturbing and thus delivered this edict in 1969

To go down to the pub is not wrong, but students have to be careful. The pub is no place to discuss a Bible class or the Work. Students have brought reproach on the college by ordering large numbers of cheese burgers. The students haveto be warned not to do this, especially the night after a fast or the Day of Atonement.

"Set the Example" Greg Albrecht to students 1969

Imagine that, eating a bunch of burgers at Lucky Boy's, The Parasol, or the Salt Shaker brought "reproach" upon the church.  Who knew?

Also, what is wrong with discussing the Bible while having a beer.  There are groups all over the country who do this.  In fact, I am actually doing this tonight with a group of people.

I would much rather do that than watch ministers in the ministerial hospitality room at the Feast getting drunk on Grey Goose like I have seen in the past.

AC students were also lectured about rowdiness and listening to the devil's music:

"ROWDINESS:
This is surely a sign of immaturity and is expressly forbidden. This includes short-sheeting beds. DO NOT ALLOW THIS AT ANY TIME! Another problem will be rock-n-roll music. In the past we have told students they may listen to it if they want to -- but not on the campus!"  

---

AC students must never be told about students who have been sent to mental hospitals (thanks to the church).

Students like to hear news about progress of graduates and ex-students and
other tid-bits of information that is not mentioned in Bible Studies, Forums , etc. 

However, be careful not to make announcements that should be made by Mr. McNair (e.g. transfer students) and never mention about people who have ended upin mental hospitals or out of the church, etc ."
"Set the Example"   Greg Albrecht to students 1969

courtesy of SHT

"It's better for a second semester Senior to exist on baby food a little bit too long than to take a bite of delicious, succulent, tasty, but forbidden meat that he'll have to vomit back up."

"This is the biggest problem at college. Despite lecture after lecture, sermon
after sermon and forum after forum, students will still tend to get involved. ~
Any violation of the dating rules should immediately be reported. Don't assume
"there's nothing in it" when you see two students constantly together. Keep your
eyes open. An incident reported might prevent a couple from being expelled. Watch the students in the Common Room that's where a lot of couples like to get together.

In addition, realize that you have to set the EXAMPLE. Some have
made a big mistake by forgetting that so many scriptures apply to this, but
perhaps the best one for you to consider is Matthew 6:33 -- "But seek ye first the
Kingdom of God and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."

Do not start your romance too soon. The Feast of Tabernacles is too soon!
Do not become impatient with God! Wait until the second semester -- set the
example. Remember your second semester is not an all-inclusive license to do
whatever your lusts dictate. After embroiling himself in just such a mess, one
student thought back on it and concocted a home-made proverb. It can help you
and all second semester Seniors. "It's better for a second semester Senior to
exist on baby food a little bit too long than to take a bite of delicious, succulent,
tasty, but forbidden meat that he'll have to vomit back up."

Ask Mr. McNair to talk to all the Seniors at the beginning of the second
semester 1970 Remind him of last year's fiasco and ask him to read this. He
expressed the wish to do this so it is up to you to remind him. DO NOT FORGET!"

Greg Albrecht on dating rules in 1969.  

courtesy of SHT

It should be noted that I imagine Greg would cringe at this malarkey today.

LCG: Satan Hates The Feast; So He Punishes Rest Of The World

It is Feast of Tabernacles time in the Church of Godland. As usual, there seems to be some weather disturbance somewhere in the world. As usual, LCG blames it all on Satan because he is sooooooo
angry that LCG keeps the Feast. Therefore he lashes out and kills people and destroys property, usually of non-COG members at this time of year.

It is also about time for the Grand Poobah of Arroyo Grande to make the same allegation.

Greetings from Charlotte,

We are now in the final Festival season of the year. Trumpets is over, Atonement is in a few days, and some have already left for the Feast of Tabernacles. Satan hates these days and what they picture, and it is not unusual for him to try to disrupt them. This year is no different. Large and very dangerous Typhoon Ompong is set to hit the Northern Philippines this weekend with some 10 million people in its path. Wind gusts are expected to reach 167 miles an hour (270 kilometers) with a storm surge of 7 meters (23 feet). Hurricane Florence is also expected to hit North and South Carolina at this time. While it has been downgraded from a category 4 down to category 2, the problem is expected to be the massive amounts of water dumped on the area: 20–40 inches (51–102 cms.) in some places. While no one knows for sure how these storms will materialize (they can be unpredictable), the dangers are real. Ompong’s strong winds will devastate anything in its path. Here in the Carolinas, when you combine high winds, the ground saturated from rain measured in feet instead of inches, and large trees, serious damage can occur and become disruptive to our members at this critical time right before the Feast. The greatest danger is to the members living very near the Carolina coasts, but the extreme winds of Ompong will seriously affect people even in the mountains of the Philippines near where it passes over. We will keep everyone updated on this. While hurricanes, cyclones, and typhoons are natural phenomena and sometimes bring drought-ending rains, they can also be quite violent and cause much damage. We pray that all of you will have a most rewarding Day of Atonement, Feast of Tabernacles, and Last Great Day. Please be careful in all your travels and allow God’s love to shine through each of you as you relate to one another and the locals at the site you are attending.—Gerald Weston

Dennis Leap: All Children Outside of the PCG are Cut Off from God

Of all the people in the Philadelphia Church of God for some reason, Dennis Leap is the one who writes about children the most.  This time his is expounding on the PCG's stance on children of members and their standing with the god of PCG.  Like almost every article that PCG publishes, Leap uses old worn out comments by Herbert Armstrong is if they were some kind of "gospel truth."

Unable to ever make a theological decision on their own, they have to rely on HWA's public library training as the foundation for their "truth's."

PCG believes that their children and only their children have access to God.  All other children who have the misfortune of not being born into the PCG are cut off from access to God, or at least the god of the PCG.  Even then there is a qualification for PCG members, only children of TRULY CONVERTED PCG members have access to that god.

All of those cute little babies of UCG, LCG, RCG, COGWA and the improperly named "continuing" Church of God are damned to utter destruction during the end times for not being PCG.  The god of PCG only loves PCG babies and none others. Even Bob Thiel's double blessing cannot save his follower's children.

We need to take in the significance of what Christ has established through Mr. Armstrong. This truth holds incredible meaning for our children. Our children are not cut off from God. They have access to God. This means that our children are in a different category than all other children on the planet! Of course, God loves all the children in this world—John 3:16 tells us that—but God is only working closely with our children at this time.

Mr. Armstrong wrote, “While other people—not members of the true body of Christ—and all other children are cut off from access to God, your children—if you are a truly converted member of God’s Church—can believe in Christ—are not cut off from God—and much of God’s truth, even though as yet too young to be converted. But they are a special treasure to God!” (ibid). Do we get what Mr. Armstrong is teaching here? Children of members can have a relationship with Christ and come to understand God’s truth because of their parents’ calling. Mr. Armstrong adds that they are a special treasure to God. How inspiring, exciting and thrilling! Do we realize what a sacred treasure our children are? Our Sacred Children: How well do you understand what God has given His Church concerning child rearing?

Part of the reason so many children are cut off from God is that Satan entered their mind as soon as they were born and now controls everything they do.

Here is the revealed knowledge necessary to deeply understand child rearing. Mr. Armstrong continued in the same article, “To understand, you need to know all about the spirit in man and how it operates. You need to know precisely what is human nature. You need to know how Satan operates—especially on children. You need to know in what manner God has set you—and your children—apart from this world.

“You need to know at what age Satan gets into your child’s mind. You need to know whether your child has access to God ….” You will not find these truths explained in any book from a bookstore. These are the deep thoughts of God that have been graciously given to us to use (1 Corinthians 2:10-12). We must study, believe, think about and learn to apply each of these in our family life.

The "deep thoughts of God?"  Seriously?

Mr. Armstrong stated, “Now see how that applies to the children of converted parents. It does not mean they may be converted while still too young. It does mean they are not, like children of unconverted parents, cut off from God. It means that they may be taught about God by the believing parent” (ibid). Teaching about God and His purpose for mankind is the most important aspect of child rearing. Let’s expend some effort to understand the magnitude of this statement.

Here’s the point. Why should our young children be taught about God? Because God makes it possible for them to understand the truth! Do we get it? Our children can grasp the true gospel of Jesus Christ. Our children can know that God is a family into which they can be born. Our little toddlers can be taught to realize that God is offering them the opportunity to rule the universe. People in this world have such great difficulty accepting these wonderful truths of God because their minds are full of religious error. When parents faithfully do their part, a little child is able to grow up without being subjected to Satan’s religious deceit. Keeping our children’s minds free of error gives them an incredible edge in preparation for the Kingdom of God.

Mr. Armstrong continued, “Your children are in a special (consecrated) category. You may teach them about Christ—about the things of the Bible. Their chances of being converted when sufficiently mature are multiplied!” (ibid). Are we giving our children the full advantage that God wants them to have? We must never leave this kind of teaching to chance, or expect that our children will somehow get it by themselves. It takes vision, preparation and effort. All parents must have an organized plan for instructing their children.

I guess no parent outside the COG can teach their children about Jesus and God.  More idiotic malarkey. I know a gay couple who's kids know more about Jesus than 99.9% of the PCG members do.

Even with all of their self-righteous chest thumping, PCG admits it is unable to keep all of its youth in the church:

From time to time we are confronted with young people who leave the pcg. This is a hard thing for parents and the ministry alike. We must all examine ourselves to see where we can do a better job. It is true that every child will not necessarily come into God’s Church. God has given every human the freedom to make a choice. Yet we must ensure that our teaching is not the cause. We are the last-hour generation. It is the time of Satan’s greatest wrath (Revelation 12:12). We witness the evil of man coming to its full expression, bringing tremendous pressure on us and our children. It is not an easy time. This is reality.

Their solution to this is to publicly mark the children or teen or tell its parents to take it to the mall and leave it behind.

Yet there is still marvelous hope. Mr. Armstrong wrote, “Although Satan is going to influence your children, almost from birth, toward his selfish and rebellious attitude, you may counteract this by teaching your children the truth about God! And when sufficiently adult they will be called. None of this is true of children outside truly converted parents!” (ibid). We should be as positive as Mr. Armstrong. Let’s never forget that we have the power of the Almighty God behind us and our children!

Being the last-hour generation gives us some incredible advantages. With so many prophecies being fulfilled and such excitement in the Work, we are not at a loss for rousing examples to teach our youth. We can easily demonstrate how God works both in this world and in His Church. Do you see that we have a unique opportunity to make God real for our children?

How can a personality cult like PCG claim to make God and Jesus real to their children when they ignore Jesus as a church?

Dennis Leap's nonsense is just as big a lie as the one promoted by HWA and others that claim there are no real Christians outside the Church of God movement.  Sadly many COG members to this day still believe this malarkey.

Feast of Tabernacles Fun...

Thank goodness for the nonconformists!

graphic courtesy of SHT

Another Question Concerning HWA's Baptism: Laying on Of Hands?

Some time ago, I submitted an article here at Banned which detailed the controversial details on HWA's Baptism. The questions were posed concerning if the Baptism of Herbert Armstrong could possibly be valid - in that Herbert Armstrong was baptized in a Worldly Baptist Church - something he, himself, over and over again, condemned as one of "satan's churches", worldly, not knowing the truth, and on and on, you know the rest. 

The response was huge - and varied. Some said that God is not restricted as to how he works since the Gospel was suppressed for 1900 years. To others, it made all the sense in the world and explained much. Still, the main fact was very clear - HWA was baptized in a way both he, and the church, agreed in virtually every way was thoroughly worldly, thoroughly wrong, and in a completely (to them) satanic institution. 

What I did not go into, and will now - is another aspect that needs to be discussed about baptism - the Church's teaching on the laying on of hands - and the Baptism of Herbert Armstrong - and does it matter?

It is Important to note this: Most baptist churches DO NOT practice a "laying on of hands ceremony". It was never considered a mandatory matter, regardless of whether a baptist church did so, or did not do so. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_laying_on_of_hands

https://www.ministrymagazine.org/archive/1969/01/the-laying-on-of-hands-at-baptism

Here is what Herbert Armstrong said about his own baptism: 

GN, AUG 69, Page 4 - No mention of Laying on of Hands. 

I looked further into this, to see the "worldly church's" practices on the Laying on of Hands Ceremony, to see if it is possible if it did happen. I also tried to see if I may have overlooked an HWA mention of such regarding himself inadvertently. 

The Southern Baptist Church, the Pentecostals, Anglicans, Catholics - most mainstream groups - do NOT officiate a laying on of hands ceremony. In nearly every case, this ceremony is reserved for ordinations. Also, since nearly every Baptist Church does NOT practice this as a Baptism rite (though some leave this up to individual church choice), even if HWA says it happened that way (and I have not found anywhere that says that he had this happen to him), I would NOT believe it. It would be a rare thing for this to happen with a Baptist Church - anywhere - at least then. 

The practice of the Worldwide Church of God was the laying on of hands by the ministry as an example and recognition of the "human instruments through which He works", even in Baptism. 

The Church taught:

Timothy couldn't be ordained by just any church or any minister. He had to be ordained by the TRUE CHURCH and the TRUE MINISTRY, through which God was working.

What, then, separates the act of baptism from the act of ordination? What was it that separated Herbert Armstrong from the rest of the heathens at that Baptist Church that somehow, God worked differently? And, if Herbert Armstrong did not have the "laying on of hands ceremony" in His baptism, according to the very traditions and teachings of his church, is this further evidence that Herbert Armstrong's baptism - in accordance with his very teachings and very practices on the subject - could not be determined as valid? And does his recorded and obviously UN-Christian fruits bear evidence to the same? And - Did ANYONE else in the Worldwide Church of God ever receive ordination if hands were not laid on that person in baptism? 

I must add that a question was raised in a "giveshare" article if HWA was possibly re-baptized in another congregation later, to overcome the "error" of a "worldly" baptism. The conclusion was that that was not a correct memory. 

Regardless of whether HWA received a "Laying on of Hands" in Baptism or not - this remains: 

"   However, notice that the one performing the baptism ceremony was a representative (though not necessarily an ordained minister) of the true Church of God in every New Testament case. This was the Church Jesus founded" - All about Water Baptism. 

Contributed by SHT.

Clint Zimmerman on "Churchianity" and how the COG has "washed" the gospel message clean

Tomorrow's World July/August 1970

Zimmerman dares to declare Christians sanctimonious when the modern-day splinters of the COG as a whole are the most sanctimonious group of Christians who think they know everything about everything.  Just look at James Malm, Bob Thiel, Dave Pack and Gerald Flurry; can the church have any more self-righteous and sanctimonious group of men than these?

Like Clint Zimmerman, these self-appointed hypocritical buffoons think they have "washed" the gospel back to its purest form.

Zimmerman continues:  The "most perfectly administered government attained."  

Seriously?  

The COG movement has been corrupted by the vilest men imaginable who are presiding over their own personality groups where they destroy members lives 

with legalism and outright blasphemous heresy.

The Church of God has NEVER "completed the quest for the ages" that Zimmerman describes below.  How can it when it denies the very man they claim to follow.  

If they knew the man they claim to pay lip service to then they would know that the

"quest" has been completed as an assurance to any follower.  

The "quest" they so seriously search for is the "rest" they have never found 

in the one they claim to follow.

graphics courtesy SHT, comments mine...

HWA: How to plump up your knees and elbows in order to look more appealing

How can we forget that Herbert Armstrong was the authority on EVERYTHING?

Bony Knees Author was HWA. 1971.

courtesy SHT

Robert Kuhn on Prophecy - January 1971

courtesy of SHT

Atonement and the futility of legalism

On Wednesday, September 19, is the traditional day for the Churches of God to observe The Day of Atonement.  That date is pretty standard across the board for the COG's, except for one malevolent personality cult.  That group, led by the Great Pharisee of the Church of God James Malm, has picked a different date.

While everyone else in the world can easily pick out proper dates for holiday/holydays, Pharisee Malm has his crew of moonbeamers sitting on cold rocks in Israel, with binoculars in hand, straining to be the person to catch the very first glimpse of a new moon.  This year the Great Pharisee got waylaid by some clouds in the region of his moonbeamer, who was not able to see the new moon break forth.  However, just five miles up the road Avraham Baruch was able to see the new moon in all its glory and normalcy descended upon the devout in Israel and elsewhere.

Due to the missed sightings by his moonbeam brigade, The Great Pharisee had this to say about Atonement:

16 Sep:   Because the Fast of Atonement is on a Friday this year it is very important to properly prepare for the Sabbath on Thursday.  Be sure to have your casserole, stew. pot roast, soup or whatever you prepare for the Sabbath, ready and in the fridge by Thursday afternoon: Then you can just warm and serve after the fast and on the Sabbath!

This is a prime example of what legalism does to the brains of the obsessed devout as they struggle with trying to impress the god they can never impress.