I Samuel 19:13

Asking for a friend:

1 Samuel 19:13 New International Version (NIV)

13 Then Michal took an idol and laid it on the bed, covering it with a garment and putting some goats’ hair at the head.

Since David was a man after God's own heart, why did he have a family idol? 

This breaks God's second commandment.

Maybe one of the top elders who have answers for everything could give us the answer.

submitted by TLA

David Hulme and the Seychelles

A question was sent in:

Money laundering by WCG! I wonder if much has been written about this and whether it actually happened. I remember in the 90s, someone putting such a theory to me. It was based on the flow of church funds passing between US, somewhere in Africa, and Canada. I dont remember the route and direction. The claim was that the church laundered money in this route for other organisations too. 

Also pointed out was how a certain David Hulme, fresh from AC graduation, was appointed Pastor in the Seychelles. The Seychelles isn't somewhere you might expect to find a burgeoning church population, but back in the early 70s, it was an offshore banking centre. Just why was Hulme sent there? What was the real reason WCG wanted one of their men there ? 

So many questions, so few answers.

Why Is It That When COG Leaders Grow Facial Hair They Look So Creepy?

King Gerald

God's only true prophet, apostle, and King has now grown a goatee and therefore other men in lofty leadership positions now feel they need to do it too. Before long it will be a requirement of PCG men in order to make it into Petra.

King Jr.

Public relations King Shane

Creepy King Dennis

Musical King Joel without his "beard"

For some reason, the creep factor alarm is seriously going off!

Gerald Flurry: Malachi's Message...If you do not understand that it is special, you need to repent!

Gerald Flurry has an article up about Malachi's Message, his plagiarized work of fiction that he calls the most important book ever written.  It has been proven that Flurry lifted huge sections of Malachi's Message from Jules Dervaes.  Flurry is just like the Mormon Church proclaiming the Book of Mormon and The Pearl of Great Price as companions to the Bible, when he says his work of fiction is the "seminal book" of the Philadelphia Church of God.

The Little Book

Malachi’s Message is the seminal book of the Philadelphia Church of God. When we came to understand that it was actually prophesied right in the middle of the greatest book of prophecy in the Bible, that significantly elevated Malachi’s Message in importance!

If you want to identify the people of God, just find the little book of Revelation 10. It must be special to us. If it isn’t, we need to repent of that. 

This is a gentle reminder of who is the Source of revelation—and who is in charge of this Church. A few people leave this Church over trivial things. They don’t understand the depth of what God is doing, or they would never walk away! 

What sets the pcg apart from other churches? The revelation of God! It is raining into this Church all the time! The Laodicean churches have none of it—because of the way they treated God’s servant the Elijah! They will have to repent to escape the lake of fire. 

Both of these events—the rain beginning on July 16, 1989, and the 1992 revelation about Malachi’s Message—revolved around the little book of Revelation, and God disclosing where He is working today. 

Both events give us a strong idea of just what God is talking about in the prophecy of James 5:17-18. 

How specific James’ prophecy is! It tells us of Mr. Armstrong’s fervent, faith-filled prayer that God would cut off revelation from His Church and then start it again 3½ years later. God answered that prayer mightily, and honored his end-time Elijah in a truly special way.

There is no question that the epistle of James is for this end time! 

Read Revelation 10. It describes a very impressive angel delivering the little book, which contains a thunderous, lion-roaring message (verses 1-3). Remarkably, the Apostle John was told not to write the message down (verse 4). The label “little book” is also a prophecy that it would later be written in book form. Then verse 6 reveals that the little book initiates a time of “no more delay” (rsv)—and verse 7 prophesies of the Philadelphia Church of God winning the copyrights to Mystery of the Ages and delivering that book to the world before Christ’s Second Coming. (This sequence of events is all explained in our free booklet The Royal Book of Revelation.) 

The book of Revelation puts all prophecy into a time frame, or time sequence. Then, in Revelation 10 and 11, what develops around the little book is put into an extremely specific and detailed time frame.

David C Pack: My Pedigree as the "Passover" and as Prophet Elijah

Dave Pack continues his mental decline into madness with the claim that he is Elijah the prophet, foretold in the Bible, and that his name means Passover.  Some idiot at Ambassador College told him that and he now believes it as truth.   I am amazed that he has people sitting in church listening to this crap and take it as "truth."  Surely their minds have to question his utterances?  Are they truly that naive that they can sit there and believe this stuff?  Thankfully, many of his top people have had the light come on and they woke up. Pack has the potential to lead his remnant into a horrific scenario not too far in the future.

CONTEXT! "Whatever the context is you definitely took that verse out of it!"

Anonymous makes a good point: 

Gal 3:10 is a justification they use to keep the law, to me it appears to be a contradiction. First it says one is cursed if they keep the law and at the end it says one is cursed if they don't continue to keep it. I know one has to put it in line with other scriptures but so do they so one could come out with 2 different interpretations. 

Galatians 3: 

¹⁰ For as many as are of the works of the law are under the curse: for it is written, Cursed is every one that continueth not in all things which are written in the book of the law to do them.

¹¹ But that no man is justified by the law in the sight of God, it is evident: for, The just shall live by faith."

Reading the entire chapter of Galatians 3 around verse 10 will make the context clear of course. Law Bad/Faith Only Good.  However, one indeed can hunt around for Pauline statements that appear to undo this concept and revert back to the need to keep law. I suspect it is why Paul was sometimes "hard to understand" and a reason some could pick and choose the concept they liked the best. Law or Grace, Law or Faith only.  

A personal favorite

Proof Texting, Scripture Cobbling, Wishful thinking and taking scripture completely out of their original context is a way the Churches of God and most literalists Christians "search the scriptures to see is these things be so."  It is a natural consequence of a Book that mixes much that any human being could  agree with or wish to be so , with Bronze and Iron Age insanities and inanities.   It's why we end up with whole churches and denominations straining at their gnats and choking on their camels. It's also how we end up with the dangerous and terribly ignorant theologies of the Packs and Flurrys or religion gone nuts that will not end well should they continue much longer. 

As a harmless example, All of Matthew's 7 "Fulfillment Statements" in Matthew 2 also fall into the category of tale weaving by taking Old Testament Scriptures grossly out of context to tell a new story. 

While he harmlessly weaves a tale of how he thinks Jesus was born, other tale weavers doing the same can be very dangerous in the wrong hands and mindset. Dave Pack, again,  comes to mind. Dave vomited 144 scripturally concocted sermons that contained zero reality, wasting hundreds of hours and causing tens of thousands of useless gyrations in seats that never should have anyone in them to begin with. It's what he does and if ever a man took scripture out of context it is Dave, the Master of Theological Spin. Flurry is a close second with all others we know well not far behind. 

  While Matthew wrote in  an accepted writing style of the day (Midrash) used to tell a story the facts of which one did not actually know, it is not a way of getting at the truth of an event or matter. 

Many take scriptures out of their historical, political and cultural context to the harm of many. It is perfectly acceptable to recognize that what the Bible said back then does not either apply now nor should it.  The  perfect time in history was not the Bronze or Iron Age nor the mentalities of the day the ideal for Christians today. "You've come a long way baby" applies to our world of knowledge having been increased, which in spite of what scripture implies about that, is a very good thing. 

 

Living Church of God: Still waiting, as they remain cursed by the law

Rod McNair recently had short little blurb up from LCG's Church Administration (CAD). In it, as usual, Old Testament passages still reign supreme.  There is rarely scant mention of New Testament or new covenant teachings. The men and women of Jesus time and after him are not as worthy of mentioning as are the prophets and sages in Hebrew scriptures.

Below is McNair's take on Lamentations.  Where would a COG story be without first mentioning unbridled destruction, starvation and dead bodies everywhere, before something heartwarming can be mentioned?

The verses McNair quotes and finds to be his favorite, is all about waiting.  Waiting for salvation.  The Church of God has been waiting for 8 decades now. Wait, wait, wait, the mantra for the church.  Constantly turning their backs on Jesus has left them unable to understand what he accomplished, especially about the "waiting" part.

LCG members must wait patiently as LCG leaders abuse them or treat them like dirt.  LCG members are supposed to look at the bad treatment as suffering for their salvation.  After all, they are under government and how dare anyone question the leadership's abuses.  Plus, it is all a test by their god to deliberately see if they are worthy. They are too blind to understand that that worthiness has already been settled.

His Compassions Are New Every Morning

The Book of Lamentations is a raw and unfiltered description of the horrific destruction of Jerusalem in 586 BC. The book describes the Temple destroyed, gates of the city broken down, children starving for lack of food, and dead bodies lying in the streets. In one sense, this book is one of the unlikeliest places you’d think you’d find encouragement! And yet, to me, it contains one of the most comforting and hopeful passages in all the Bible. It’s in Lamentations 3:22-26: “His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness…. The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD” (Lamentations 3:22-26). When we are in sore trials we must not forget God’s power, faithfulness and mercies. He is there. He sees all. He understands our suffering. We must wait patiently, and learn every lesson we can. He loves us—and He will intervene.

When you are in trouble, remember those inspired and comforting words: “His compassions fail not—they are new every morning”!

Have an encouraging Sabbath,

Rod McNair

Contrast that with the followers of Jesus who already know they have salvation assured to them.  They go about life with firm assurance, that salvation is already being experienced.

Galatians 2:16

Know that a person is not justified by observing the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ. So we, too, have put our faith in Christ Jesus that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by observing the law, because by observing the law no one will be justified.

 Galatians 3:10

All who rely on observing the law are under a curse, for it is written: "Cursed is everyone who does not continue to do everything written in the Book of the Law."

Galatians 3:24

So the law was put in charge of us until Christ came that we might be justified by faith.

Galatians 3:23

Before the coming of this faith, we were held in custody under the law, locked up until the faith that was to come would be revealed.

Galatians 4:21

Tell me, you who want to be under the law, are you not aware of what the law says? 

Galatians 2:4

This matter arose because some false believers had infiltrated our ranks to spy on the freedom we have in Christ Jesus and to make us slaves.

Galatians 3:11

Clearly no one is justified before God by the law, because "the righteous will live by faith."

Galatians 5:4

You who are trying to be justified by the law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace.

Galatians 3:11

Clearly no one is justified before God by the law, because "the righteous will live by faith."

Galatians 3:12

The law is not based on faith; on the contrary, it says, "Whoever does these things will live by them."

Galatians 3:25

Now that this faith has come, we are no longer under the supervision of the law.

John 5:24

"Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.

Living Church of God, DBA Debbie Downer Church of God

Gospel means good news, but not for Debbie Downer at LCG.

Many have watched recent news reports of the raging fires destroying communities in California. The number of lives lost, acres burned, homes destroyed, and missing persons climbs day by day. Throughout history, including Biblical history, fire has consumed many cities.

2018 has been a particularly destructive year for fires in California, following several years of record-breaking drought. The extremely dry conditions, coupled with strong Santa Ana winds, are the perfect ingredients for uncontrollable wildfires.

Fire is used in the Bible as a symbol of judgment, punishment, and destruction of evil (2 Thessalonians 1:5–10; Revelation 20:14). As an example, many are familiar with the judgment and destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah for the sins of the inhabitants. The Lord revealed to Abraham that the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah was very grievous (Genesis 18:20). The very few righteous in the city—Lot, his wife, and their two daughters—were removed before the cities’ destruction by fire and brimstone raining from the sky (Genesis 19:20–24).

When the children of Israel entered the Promised Land, they conquered and burned Jericho (Joshua 6:24). The Lord commanded Israel to burn some conquered cities with fire (Joshua 8:8; Numbers 31:10).

When Israel and Judah sinned (after Israel divided into two kingdoms after the death of Solomon), Jerusalem was burned with fire (2 Kings 25:9). Isaiah 29 speaks of the destruction of Jerusalem as being punished by the Lord with “… tempest and the flame of devouring fire” (v. 6). The prophet Jeremiah prophesied that the king of Babylon would burn Jerusalem (Jeremiah 21:10). God further said He would “… punish you according to the fruit of your doings…” and “…kindle a fire in its forest, and it shall devour all things around it” (v. 14). Nebuchadnezzar, king of Babylon, destroyed Jerusalem, burning the temple in 587–586bc.

Centuries later, in 70ad, Roman emperor Titus destroyed and burned Jerusalem and the second temple.

The prophet Amos pronounced God’s judgment by fire on various nations, including Damascus (Syria), Gaza, Tyre, Bozrah and Rabbah in Jordan, Moab, and Judah (Amos 1:4, 7, 10, 12 and 14; Amos 2:2, 5).

The prophet Ezekiel warns the modern day nations of Israel: “They shall burn your houses with fire” (Ezekiel 16:41); “They will go out from one fire, but another fire shall devour them” (Ezekiel 15:7); “Behold, I will kindle a fire in you, and it shall devour every green tree and every dry tree in you; the blazing flame shall not be quenched, and all faces from the south to the north shall be scorched by it” (Ezekiel 20:47).

Isaiah declares, “For behold, the Lord will come with fire and with His chariots, like a whirlwind, to render His anger with fury, and His rebuke with flames of fire. For by fire and by His sword the Lordwill judge all flesh; and the slain of the Lord shall be many” (Isaiah 66:15–16).

We have seen the devastation and destruction of the fires in California. Fire is a destroyer, and is also a tool God has used again and again to punish and to destroy works of wickedness. Fire even symbolizes God Himself, Who is said to be a consuming fire (Deuteronomy 4:24; Hebrews 12:29).

The Apostle Peter warns, “… be mindful of the words which were spoken before by the holy prophets, and of the commandment of us, the apostles… the heavens and the earth which are now preserved by the same word, are reserved for fire until the day of judgment and perdition of ungodly men” (2 Peter 3:1–7). Peter concludes we should be diligent to be found “without spot and blameless” (v. 14).

With that warning in mind, be sure to read our free booklets, Restoring Original Christianity andWhat Is A True Christian? Let us be found “without spot and blameless.”

submitted by TLA

My comments:

The Living Church of God is just like Bullshit Bob's improperly named "continuing" Church of God, the Restored Church of God, Philadelphia Church of God and most of the other splinter break-aways. Their god is eternally pissed off and is just itching to wipe most of humanity off the earth.  That is the god they want you to be fearful off.  It is the god they need to keep the money flowing in as they scare members with fear and tribulation. It is the god they need so they can puff out their narcissistic chests and beat them with their fists as the great Bawana's they think they are. Fear has always been the big motivator in getting people into the church. Scare them to the point that they feel their salvation is at stake unless they heed the message of the select pastor general or chief overseer.

Asking For a Friend: : Can YHVH Defeat Chariots of Iron or Not?

Joshua 17:18: “But the mountain country shall be yours. Although it is wooded, you shall cut it down, and its farthest extent shall be yours; for you shall drive out the Canaanites, though they have iron chariots and are strong.” 

Judges 1:19: “So the Lord was with Judah. And they drove out the mountaineers, but they could not drive out the inhabitants of the lowland, because they had chariots of iron.”

Vanity of Vanities by the Unknown Preacher

The Unknown COG Preacher

with the best film editing EVER!

One of the vainest men in the COG is the guy who wrote the comments below about his recent sermon.

Can your life be a waste? “Vanity of vanities” says the Preacher. Who wrote the Book of Ecclesiastes? When was it written? Do modern secular scholars disagree with the word of God? If you have more money, power, sexual opportunities, food, wine, and world renowned projects than any one else, could that be vanity, grasping against the wind? What should your priorities be? Is money evil? Is compromise acceptable? Does wisdom excel folly? Can sin be pleasurable? Does God have eternal pleasures for His people? Are you willing to have God’s priorities and live as He would have you live?

That was all well and good to examine, but then the train wrecks, once again. From discussing the faults of vanity, our buddy moves into whether or not animals will be resurrected in the kingdom.

Will God’s Kingdom be everlasting? Will that you have been through help you for eternity? Are animals expected to be resurrected? Dr. Thiel goes through each verse of the first three chapters of the Book of Ecclesiastes, as well as scriptures in other parts of the Bible to help address these and other issues.

Seriously, vanity and animals?

As has been pointed out many times here, our great Bawana seems to not have an original thought in his head but has to work off of old reprint articles and magazine articles of the old Worldwide Church of God.

I sure do love the booklet held in front of the face!  Great work there buddy!

UCG on Personal Body Fluids and Gelatin

With all the things going on the world and in peoples daily lives, UCG has placed its focus on body fluids and gelatin. They have a coronary at the mere thought of a marshmallow made with non-kosher gelatin as they feed their faces with every kind of processed and modified food imagined in their grocery store. Dink that Coke and gulp down the wine with sulfates and beer with all kinds of additives. But god forbid a marshmallow passes their lips.

UCG also has a problem with members marrying outside the "faith" due to the fact their playing field of young eligible men and women are shrinking rapidly.

Doctrine Committee—Mario Seiglie

Mario Seiglie, chair of the Doctrine Committee (DC), presented five doctrinal projects to the Council for discussion and approval. Three projects: #58 on the identity of Melchizedek, #60 on personal body fluids, and #59 on preaching from house to house were finished and had no support from the DC or the Council.

Part of the ongoing review of the Personal Correspondence Department (PCD) letters included an update to one on the subject of gelatin from unclean sources. The letter reinforces our long-standing belief that we don’t eat gelatin from unclean sources and also provides resources for gelatin products that do not come from unclean sources. It was unanimously approved by the Council and can be found on the Ministerial Resource Site.

The study paper Marrying Outside the Faith was discussed with a minor edit to changing the word “extenuating” with “problematic” to better convey the meaning in the paper. It was unanimously approved to change the wording and can be found on the Ministerial Resource Site.

Chairman Ward thanked the DC for all their work.

Isn't it amazing be part of the greatest Church of God ever!

Perspectives-It Depends on How You Look At It

Perspectives-It Depends on How You Look At It

“The more a man knows, the more willing he is to learn. The less a man knows, the more positive he is that he knows everything...”

― Robert G. Ingersoll

Spiders

I gave a sermon once with a large 3D image that , when looked at properly and with parallel viewing skills  (go learn ye what that meaneth) one would see the hidden picture embedded in the pattern.

The point was, of course, just how difficult it can be at times to see that which is clearly there if we just know how to do it and are willing to give it a go.   Once you could see the image, you can never unsee it.  If you can not see it, try as you might or would not see it because one believes it's not there to see,  you never will see it. .

Small Candy Clusters

After the sermon the large image placed on an easel was available up close and a rather large crowd of people gathered around it. I stood back and let the conversations unfold. It was a telling example of how we receive new information or not.  A good chunk of the congregation hung out to give it a go but, as well, a fairly large number simply didn't bother and just went about the standard fellowship time as if nothing new was available for consideration and inspection. Also telling

"How's this thing supposed to work?"

(Didn't listen to the instructions)

"Looks like just a bunch of jumble to me"
(Flippant know it all who states the momentary obvious and isn't about to try to see anything differently or ask how to)

"Oh I see it!!!"

(That was fast! Probably saw this before elsewhere and knew already how to see it)

"Ok, ok...you kinda gotta just relax your eyes and cross them a bit."

(Apt to teach)

"You're all  nuts! "

(Their common response to everything not understood or provides no interest)

"I think I see it."

(Hopeful and willing to see. Eventually did)

"I think I see it"
(Wanted to but I doubt ever did)

"Yeah I see it it. So what"
(Maybe saw it. Maybe not. Can't admit to learning anything they didn't come up with or not actually seeing it, who cares.)

(Dinosaur)

"This is stupid"

(That's as far as they got)

"Oh , oh....that is so cool!"

(Lover of knowledge. Went about teaching others how to see it too)

"Um...oh yeah, I see it"  

(leaves and didn't really)

"I didn't come to church for this crap"

(I went back to church for other crap the next week)

"Sorry, I don't see it. I gotta go."

(I think they wanted to but it just didn't work for them)

"Yeah, yeah...I saw it. Let's go to lunch"

(Didn't see it. Didn't want to admit they couldn't see. Changed the topic)

"Diehl is an idiot. I want our old minister back"

(Change is uncomfortable. Long for the past and attack the messenger)

"C'mon! Let's go to lunch!"
(More hungry than inquisitive. Or just can't see it and gave up)

( Dave Pack, Gerald Flurry, Bob Thiel sermon in 2D.  Nothing here to see no matter how long you sit and hope to see it)

2D

Old or Young?

It depends on how you look at it...

And so it is....

A Moment of Perspective and Humility

Perhaps it is good for us to step back a bit and keep the Wildworld Church of God experience in perspective. In the whole scheme of the actual lives we find ourselves living. In reality,  the Dave Packs, Gerald Flurrys, Ron Weinlands, Bob Thiels, and all the drama and trauma of and in the Churches of God are simply nothing and nobody. It doesn't matter what they think, believe or think as if anyone  should hold them in high esteem as if they knew. They don't. 

These men and their mistaken views of themselves as well as their devoted and seat gyrating followers will come and go like everyone and everything else. Nothing they wasted their time in church seeming to agree to and with will happen and if they don't wake up soon, they simply will conclude they wasted their lives on men who did not really know promoting falsehoods  that were simply not so. 

ALL the characters, the Patriarchs, the Prophets, the Priest, the Kings and the people of the Old Testament are long gone. All the Priests, Kings, Disciples, Apostles , Scoffers and Observers, True Believers and Apostates and fallen away from those beliefs are long gone.

Herbert Armstrong, Garner Ted Armstrong, Joseph Tkach, Rod Meredith, Dean Blackwell, Dr Herman Hoeh, Ron Dart and many well known and unknown ministers, members and faithful old time supporters of the Church are all gone. 

Ambassador College Pasadena is gone

Ambassador College Big Sandy is gone

Ambassador College Bricket Wood is gone

Of course, in the yet living there are the memories, the pain, conflict, regrets, bitternesses  and stuckness so common in such life experiences.  It also happens to Adventists, Jehovah Witnesses, Baptists, and Mormons, and all those who put themselves under the authority of others and let others do not only their thinking for them but provide them with beliefs necessary to join the group and stay in its good graces.

Too soon old, too late smart it seems all too often.

Here on Banned, we all well know each other pretty well. If not by name then by the style and manner in which we comment and share our pain, anger, rancor and even well thought out and helpful views, that actually stick to the topic of the posting  from time to time, :)

So maybe take a quick break from all that and reflect on our place in it all. Humility over the arrogance of a Dave Pack or Gerald Flurry and love over fear and the rantings of those who think they speak for their god and don't really. After all, it is perfect love that casts out fear. The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is fear and hate is it's calling card. 

Peace.....

LCG says church members do not have the right to correct the church or call out its errors

Ever since Bob Thiel got his delicate feelings hurt by his spiritual father  Rod Meredith, he has been lashing out at the Living Church of God over one perceived slight after another.  That bitterness is what led him to self-appointed and self-ordain himself as the new end time "work" in the 21st century.  The anger at the constant rejection of his utterances by LCG leaders and evangelists infuriated Thiel.  The ultimate slap down came when Rod Meredith publicly rebuked Thiel from the pulpit, which sent Thiel into a meltdown, of which, he has never recovered.  No one had the right to tell him what to do and what to teach.  So, in the ultimate fit of self-righteous anger, he formed his own splinter cult.

Living Church of God's Doug Winnail has written another missive to LCG faithful warning them that they are not to take it upon themselves to correct or "save" the church, much like Bob Thiel attempted to do and still pretends he can do.

LCG warns about the demonic spirits trying to sway LCG faithful with their own imagined doctrines and against those within and without the church who are critical of LCG policies, actions and treatment of members.

Apparently, Jesus Christ is having a hard time building his church with all of these pesky interruptions happening all the time with the members.  Its always the members who have these problems and never the ministry.  When will LCG stop being such problem children?

So there you have it brethren! Now you can truly have a profitable Sabbath!

Beware of Misguided Ideas: The Apostle Paul warned, “in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons” (1 Timothy 4:1–5) and that many will not listen to sound doctrine but will prefer to follow their own ideas (2 Timothy 3:1–6; 4:1–4). The Apostle Paul also warned that critics from within and from outside the Church will try to divide the Church to gain a following (Acts 20:29–31). He pointed out that Satan will try various ways to mislead well-meaning people (2 Corinthians 2:11)—often new people (1 Timothy 3:6)—by appealing to the human desire to be recognized as an authority (3 John 9–10). Numerous issues threatened to destroy the early Church: different ideas about foods, hair lengths, the resurrection, circumcision, etc. (see 1 Corinthians and Galatians). However, Paul’s constant advice was to “Guard what was committed to your trust” (1 Timothy 6:20), to “hold fast” to what you have been “taught” (Titus 1:9–11) and “avoid foolish disputes” (Titus 3:9; 1 Timothy 6:3–5). When questions do arise over doctrine, the biblical example is to take the issue to the leaders of the Church for a decision (Acts 15:1–31). Nowhere do the Scriptures encourage individuals to take it on themselves to correct or “save” the Church. That is something that Jesus Christ will take care of in His time as He “builds” His Church (Matthew 16:18).
Have a profitable Sabbath,
Douglas S. Winnail

To Sermon, Or Not To Sermon

How NOT to give a Sermon

This is Bob's Sermon Outline. 

Is studying acting acceptable for Christians?

Will animals, like wolves and lions, remain carnivores?

Does Ezekiel 13 warn against false prophets?

Should you be baptized for the dead?

What are Bible marginal references?

Should you follow people like Edgar Cayce?

How do you calculate a tithe?

What is second tithe?

What is third tithe?

What is the ‘tithe of the tithe’?

When do you start a third tithe year?

Did Adam first marry Lilith?

What are the fasts of Zechariah 8:19?

How is God jealous in Exodus 20:5?

Can women hold outside jobs?

What is kosher?

Would Jesus vote?

Should Christians vote?

Dr. Thiel goes through scriptures, facts, COG documents, and historical information to provide answers.

Let's edit this just a tad. 

Is studying acting acceptable for Christians?

Will animals, like wolves and lions, remain carnivores?

Does Ezekiel 13 warn against false prophets?

Should you be baptized for the dead?

What are Bible marginal references?

Should you follow people like Edgar Cayce?

How do you calculate a tithe?

What is second tithe?

What is third tithe?

What is the ‘tithe of the tithe’?

When do you start a third tithe year?

Did Adam first marry Lilith?

What are the fasts of Zechariah 8:19?

How is God jealous in Exodus 20:5?

Can women hold outside jobs?

What is kosher?

Would Jesus vote?

Should Christians vote?

Dr. Thiel goes through scriptures, facts, COG documents, and historical information to provide answers.

There.

Now we have a sermon topic which will be entitled "Is Studying acting acceptable for Christians".  This will thus be the topic of the Sermon. The Sermon length should conclude in 20 minutes. However, being a COG, where long sermons are the norm, let's be generous and, because of the obvious novice level of the speaker, let's expand it to 30 minutes. But before we do this, let's think this over just a bit.

1. HOW MANY MEMBERS ARE ACTIVELY CONSIDERING GOING TO COLLEGE TO STUDY ACTING? 

2. HOW MANY MEMBERS AFTER CONSIDERING GOING TO COLLEGE TO STUDY ACTING CAN ACTUALLY AFFORD TO GO TO COLLEGE TO STUDY ACTING? 

3. IS THE SERMON TOPIC ABOUT STUDYING ACTING SOMETHING THAT WILL BENEFIT THE CONGREGATION AS A WHOLE, OR IS THIS BETTER HANDLED AS A PERSONAL COUNSEL? 

4. DOES ANYBODY IN YOUR CONGREGATION HAVE ANY CONCERN ABOUT THIS TOPIC? 

5. WHY? 

6. AGAIN, WHY? 

7. WHO IN AFRICA OR IN THE GENERAL MEMBERSHIP HAS THE TIME TO DO SO? 

8. AGAIN, PLEASE, FOR THE REASON OF LOGIC - WHY?!

If there is a logical need for this message as a whole to benefit the whole church body (which there is not), let us proceed then with structuring the message properly. For the sake of humoring the topic, let's just go with this. 

We will now need to outline this 30 minute sermon using the following format: 

1. Introduction (used to engage the audience. Use some humor and pose an interesting question for engagement). 

This should be 4-5 minutes or less. Here's some ideas:

"Many of you this morning have probably risen from bed this morning with quite the urge to go to Hollywood." Wait, no, I don't really think this will work, as the answer to this is none. Sorry about that. Let's switch gears.

"Have you ever wanted to be someone famous? Like Sylvester Stalone, or (insert actor here, here...) Have you ever seriously considered going to school to study acting?" It's a start, but it's a non-starter honestly because this is an un-relatable subject to the majority of the audience. It is better handled with personal counsel one on one, not as a full sermon subject. How did we even get on this subject in the first place? Oh yeah, we had to cancel out all the other subjects and just go with the first one to try to make a cohesive sermon! That's right! And we ended up with a sermon topic on studying acting which 95% of the audience simply does not care about!!!!!!. Right. 

But since we know none of this will matter, let's continue to the second point. 

2. Discuss what acting is. (This should be 5 minutes or less. Be to the point, on target, and be referenced.)

This should be easy. It need not be a long-winded, pointless diatribe about the history of acting, or the pagan origins of acting, or bouncing around to everything about acting that is unchristian or evil. Succinct, simple, and short. And most of all, REFERENCED. 

3. Scripture reading. (Use scripture(s) (no more than 2 or 3 at most) to support your position. This should again, take about 3 to 5 minutes.) 

Find a scripture to support your position on why STUDYING acting is wrong. Not ACTUALLY acting, but STUDYING acting. If you were to give a sermon on ACTING, that would be a whole different message. This one is about STUDYING acting, and why STUDYING acting is wrong. Once you find your scripture on why STUDYING acting is wrong...

***Crickets****

***more crickets****

then we can go to the next point. 

4. Expound on Scripture, explain the position (Why not study acting), overcome any possible objections, prove your point. (3 to 5 minutes.)

This may prove to be difficult, based on the success of point 3. 

Pretending that point 4 was successful, let's move on to point 5. 

5. Re-Engage the audience, tie-back to the introduction, prove the point. (3 to 5 minutes)

6. Conclude the Message. (3 to 5 minutes.) 

Let's pretend that the message outline is completed properly. Now let's give it a chance to actually be a Sermon. 

In the message: 

Use a little humor if needed. 

Use vocal inflection. Don't be monotone. 

Be natural. Avoid stiff and awkward gestures. 

Don't sniff. 

Make sure the scriptures back up the message. 

Avoid crooked bookcases. They are distracting. 

Avoid ragged curtains. They are distracting. 

Relate to the audience. Use real-world examples. 

Be fluid. Don't jump all over the place. The Sermon should flow, not jump waves like a new surfer. 

Stay ON TOPIC. 

Make the message memorable. 

This is a completely free public service lesson. 

There's no charge. 

There's no follow-back. 

There! 

Now that wasn't so hard! Or, was it?

submitted by SHT