That Dog Won't Hunt!

That Dog Won't Hunt!

In the comments which followed my post The Linchpin of Armstrongism, some of the commentators brought up the fact that I am a celibate homosexual. For my regular readers, it will come as no surprise that I have always regarded my celibacy and faithfulness to God and my family as a tremendous source of moral authority for the things that I write about spiritual/theological issues. Hence, as part of my response to this mention, I wrote: "Perhaps, if Herbert Armstrong hadn't been such a narcissist and pervert, his teachings would carry more moral authority."

This statement provoked the following anonymous comment: "Earlier above, you excoriated HWA again for being such a 'narcissist and pervert' (doubting his conversion and believing the allegations against him, while calling yourself a redeemed one), and that if it hadn't been for that, 'his teachings would have carried more moral authority.' I detect a spirit of bitterness here. You don't know that Christ had him teach the truth for over 50 years, that many watched the WT and read the PT, and that attendance reached 140,000 until the apostasy set in? (to which you give assent if you disparage the law) His teachings did carry high moral authority from the Lord and led to many conversions (to which you have attested). Even after the trials and turmoil of the 70s, after all the allegations that he faced, he survived it until '86 when the church was still flourishing. If it was a work of men (which it began to be under the JWT's watch '93-'95), it would have come to nothing."

I completely understand where this person is coming from - once upon a time, I thought the same way. Like many of the folks who read this blog, I swallowed what Herbie was selling hook, line, and sinker! I believed that God had revealed THE TRUTH to that old guy, and that God had opened my mind to believe what He had revealed to Herbie. Later, however, I came to see that all that glitters is not gold - that there were a lot of holes in Herbie's "truth." I discovered that Herbie's dissertations on history and science were full of inaccuracies. Moreover, I eventually realized that many of his "prooftexts" had been taken out of context, and that his knowledge of the Bible and Christian theology was very superficial.

Finally, after an extensive reevaluation of Herbie's teachings, I came to understand that God had NOT worked through Mr. Armstrong. Indeed, it became very clear to me that he had twisted history, science, Scripture, research, and the thought process itself. Armstrong claimed that he had figured out God's plans, recovered First Century Christianity, and found the key to understanding prophecy. Sadly, it turned out that he didn't understand very much at all!

Then, I began learning more about the man himself - his character - his very real and glaring weaknesses and failures as a person. I talked to people who knew him personally and had worked with him. I reread his autobiography, and I saw things there that I had overlooked or ignored the first time I had read it. Herbert had written that his sister-in-law had been "indoctrinated" with the theory of evolution; and that she had called him "ignorant," because he had expressed his belief in Divine creation. The account continued:

"That accusation came hot on the heels of this Sabbath challenge from my wife. Of course, Hertha was only about 19, and had had but her freshman year in college. She was yet immature enough to be a bit oversold on what had been presented to her as a mark of intellectual distinction. Nevertheless, her manner was cutting, and a bit sarcastic, and 1 accepted it as a challenge. 'Hertha,' 1 responded, 'I am just starting a study of the Bible. I intend to include in this research a thorough study of the Biblical account of creation. Since it is admittedly one of the two - evolution or special creation - I will include an in-depth study of evolution. I feel sure that a thorough study into both sides will show that it is you who are ignorant, and that you merely studied one side of a two-sided question in freshman biology, and accepted what was funnelled into your mind without question. And if and when I do, I'm going to make you EAT those words!'" (spelling and punctuation were Herbert's)

Allow me to point out the things which I hadn't noticed the first time I read this passage. Notice that Herbie was responding to challenges from his wife and sister-in-law. Notice also that he disparaged his sister-in-law's college coursework (Mr. Armstrong did NOT have a college background of his own). He then proceeded to announce that he would launch his own independent study of science and the Bible, and that the results would be definitive. Finally, he told his sister-in-law that he would make her "eat those words." It hit me like a ton of bricks. This man was a classic narcissist! He was the smartest tool in the shed, and everybody else was inferior to him in intellect! This would become even clearer as Herbie continued the account of his life.

He wrote: "Most believers in the Bible and in the existence of God have probably just grown up believing it, because they were reared in an atmosphere where it was believed. But perhaps few ever studied into it deeply enough to obtain irrefutable PROOF. Likewise, the 'educated,' who have gone on through college or university, have, in the main, been taught the theory of evolution as a BELIEF. They have accepted it, in all probability, without having given any serious or thorough study of the Biblical claims." No one had studied the subject like Herbert Armstrong intended to study it! Look out "Darwin, Haeckel, Spencer, Huxley, and Vogt, Herbie was about to give those so-called intellectual giants the what for!

Even though Armstrong admitted that he was self-educated, he was going to challenge scientists and biblical scholars alike. He was going to get to the "truth" that no one else had been able to discover or discern! Even though he didn't have any training in research techniques and methods, he would ferret out the answers that had alluded all others! He continued:

I began this intensified study by obtaining everything I could find in the way of books, pamphlets and other literature both for and against what was often called 'the Jewish Sabbath.' I wanted, not only everything I could lay hands on, on the case for Sunday, and against the 7th-day Sabbath. I wanted, also, the arguments or proponents for it, which I hoped to be able honestly to refute. At the same time, I found, in the Portland Public Library, many scientific works either directly on evolution, or teaching in textbooks on biology, paleontology, and geology. Also I found books by scientists and doctors of philosophy puncturing many holes in the evolutionary hypothesis. Strangely, even the critics of evolution, being themselves scientific men, paradoxically accepted the very theory they so ably refuted."

Apparently, no one ever informed Mr. Armstrong that all sources are NOT created equal, or that some arguments are superior to others. It also appears that no one ever told him that a university library would be better for this kind of research than a public library - that he would have access to more of the latest thinking on any given subject in a university library than he would in a local public library. In Herbert's mind, his research was the most intensive that had ever been undertaken. His study would settle these questions for all time!

In addition to these personal revelations about Armstrong's narcissism and intellectual prowess, it was about this time that my father informed me about a conversation that he had had with Garner Ted Armstrong - before the masseuse and his messy exit from the Church of God International. To my shock and horror, GTA had confirmed to him that the rumors were true about his father's incestuous relationship with his sister! Prior to this, I had always dismissed the rumors and refused to look into the matter. I had assumed it was just sour grapes and character assassination. After my dad's bombshell, however, I became aware of the fact that there was a substantial body of circumstantial evidence which supported the accusation. So, Herbert Armstrong was a narcissist and an incestuous pedophile! He had also clearly divorced his second wife - it was a matter of public record. He wasn't even qualified to be a minister of Jesus Christ - let alone to be called an "apostle"!

In light of everything I had learned, it became clear to me that God had NEVER used Herbert Armstrong to reveal anything to anybody! "What about the success of the Worldwide Church?" my friends who were still entangled in Herbie's web of lies demanded. After all, Herbie had always pointed to PT circulation numbers, radio and television stations broadcasting The World Tomorrow, Ambassador College, and Ambassador IC Foundation, and income as proof that God was blessing his leadership of The Work. What we were never told, however, was that the Mormon Church and the Jehovah's Witnesses had an even greater reach and impact than we did. In fact, it turns out that financial and publishing success are NOT indicators of Divine favor! Bottom line, my apologies to the commentator referenced above - that dog won't hunt!

Posted by Miller Jones/Lonnie C Hendrix