I’m Not Like Those Other False Prophets’ Says Man Who Is Exactly Like Those Other False Prophets

Once again, Crackpot Bob—the Great Bwana Bob Mzungu, the dazzling great white Overseer of Africa, God’s most perfect and most astounding prophet to ever grace the hills of Grover Beach, CA—is throwing a full-blown prophetic hissy fit because Banned by HWA dared to post an article that associated him with other COG false prophets. How dare this lowly blog lump his divine majesty in with those other blithering idiot false prophets like Gerald Flurry, Dave Pack, Ron Weinland, and the rest of the COG’s greatest hits of grifters. The audacity! The sheer mortal insolence!

His sacred, unbreakable holy Sabbath was tragically interrupted—oh, the horror—forcing this poor persecuted prophet to actually work and respond to Silent Pilgrim’s article: Why Prominent Church of God Leaders Do Not Qualify as the Biblical Watchmen They Claim to Be. Because, naturally, like every other self-appointed COG “prophet,” there are always convenient loopholes and divine exemptions when the rules become inconvenient. Rules are for the little people.

The anti-COG Banned by HWA website has a post by an anonymous one who identifies as Silent Pilgrim. That post, correctly identifies Ronald Weinland, David Pack, & Gerald Flurry as false.

After linking to other exposés he has done on OTHER COG false prophets, he complains that Silent Pilgrim had the nerve to write this about him:

...the post at the anti-COG Banned by HWA website has the following about me:

Bob Thiel (Continuing Church of God) Thiel presents the CCOG as now delivering the end-time Ezekiel warning. He has described himself in prophetic roles (including watchman/evangelist aspects), claiming confirmation via dreams and anointing by a Living Church of God minister, Gaylyn Bonjour, in 2011 (who prayed for a “double portion” of God’s Spirit), and points to early coronavirus warnings as validation of his insight. 

Critics within the COG movement have documented multiple specific predictions that did not unfold as stated. These include detailed forecasts in his 2012 book 2012 and the Rise of the Secret Sect, regarding geopolitical sequences, church developments, U.S. reliance on Europe’s Galileo GPS system in exact ways, and certain political/military outcomes involving nations like China and Australia that required later reinterpretation when events diverged. Independent trackers (such as those on Church of God Perspective and Banned by HWA) note that Thiel’s interpretive style often mixes biblical prophecy with current events and pagan sources, leading to claims of “fulfillment” that are vague or retrofitted after the fact. 

For instance, while he correctly stated the Great Tribulation would not begin in specific years (2012–2023), his broader end-time sequences tied to those years or to his personal prophetic role have not materialized in the manner presented, resulting in shifts of emphasis to “general warnings” rather than direct “thus saith the Lord” declarations. 

When specifics fail to align precisely, the response is typically re-framing or highlighting partial alignments instead of acknowledging error—precisely the pattern Deuteronomy 18 rejects. Thiel maintains he has made “no false predictions,” but the cumulative record of unfulfilled or adjusted specifics undermines the claim of divine prophetic authority required for the watchman role.

Actually, no, critics within the COG movement have NOT documented multiple specific predictions that did not unfold as stated. Nor have I ever made any “thus saith the Lord” declarations (unless I am directly quoting the Bible). 

How terribly unfair of these critics to notice the trail of busted predictions and creative “re-interpretations.” Bwana Bob, in his infinite humility, declares that no, critics have not documented any failed predictions, and he has never made any “thus saith the Lord” statements (except when it suits him, apparently).

This is peak Thiel: the man who turned “I had a dream and got a double portion” into a full-time career, now playing the victim because people keep noticing the prophecies keep missing the mark. Other COG groups, ex-members, and independent observers have been calling him a self-appointed false prophet for years, but every reminder pops his fragile narcissistic bubble like a cheap balloon at a carnival. The horror of being held accountable must keep him up at night.

The Great Bwana then blesses us with a list of 32 “accurate” prophecies from his 2012 masterpiece. Every single one was just him cherry-picking news headlines that dozens of bloggers, analysts, and even other COG watchers had already talked about. But sure, Bob—call it divine revelation while the rest of us call it “reading the newspaper and pretending it’s revelation.”

He then delivers this masterpiece of prophetic tap-dancing:

Now the Silent Pilgrim statement, “his broader end-time sequences tied to those years or to his personal prophetic role have not materialized in the manner presented” is misleading. Why? Well, when I was in Kenya in 2017, someone in a COG came up to me and pointed out that my book had the following:

This rising up of the secret sect may well become apparent to much of the world in 2012.

He then pointed to the fact that the Continuing Church of God formally began on 28 December 2012. And that, by the way, was NOT some plan of mine when I wrote the book, nor did it happen because of the book.

Now notice that I did NOT falsely state that the rising up of the secret sect would be apparent to much of the world in 2012, only that it may, and it may still in retrospect be considered the time by the world after other events occur.

Let me add that I believe that on 28 December 2012, the final phase of the work began and the transitional phase was over.

The classic “I said may” escape hatch—the prophetic weasel word that lets you claim victory no matter what happens. “It didn’t happen… but maybe someday people will retrospectively agree I was a genius.” This isn’t prophecy; this is spiritual fan fiction with extra copium.

The Great Overseer simply cannot stand being grouped with the other COG clowns. He screams “guilt by association!” (conveniently ignoring that Jesus was accused of hanging out with sinners, not rival false prophets running the same end-times grift). My various nicknames for him—“that other global heavyweight of almost-truth, Bwana Bob Mzungu Thiel”—clearly lives rent-free in his head.

Getting back to posts at the Banned site (and not only the ‘Silent Pilgrim’ article), they seem to like to try to connect me to false prophets like David Pack, Gerald Flurry, Don Billingsley and Ron Weinland. And Gary Leonard, the webmaster at Banned by HWA, has done this repeatedly and has also referred to me as “that other global heavyweight of almost-truth, Bwana Bob Mzungu Thiel.”

Guilt by association has long been a tactic of Satan–he had his minions do that related to Jesus (Matthew 11:19; Mark 2:16; Luke 5:13). Anyway, on September 21, 2025, Gary Leonard posted the following:

No man alive in the Armstrongist churches today has ever authenticated the gospel message through signs, wonders, and miracles. None of them—including Bob Thiel and Ron Weinland— will ever do so in the future. They cannot even get a prophecy right, 

Well, that, of course is not true in the case of myself in the CCOG. 

Bwana Bob then parades more “fulfilled prophecies” that were basically just trending news banners anyone with an internet connection saw. He wraps it all up with this gem:

Jesus said that fruits were the criteria to determine true vs. false prophets (John 7:15-20). The Continuing Church of God has the true fruits.

The Bible teaches:

16 The lazy man is wiser in his own eyes

Than seven men who can answer sensibly. (Proverbs 26:16)

Do not simply accept nonsense and other anti-CCOG statements posted at places online.

The Apostle Paul wrote:

20 Do not despise prophecies. 21 Test all things; hold fast what is good. (1 Thessalonians 5:20-21)

Many at the Banned by HWA website, as well as non-Philadelphian Christians, refuse to do that.

What about you? 

Translation: Pay no attention to the mountain of evidence behind the curtain. My group has the real fruits (trust me, bro). If you question me, you’re lazy, deceived, or doing Satan’s work. Now buy my books and send donations.

Oh, please—spare us the endless parade of self-anointed, double-portion-dreaming, Africa-overseeing “prophets” like Bwana Bob. The modern Church of God movement has already proven, with crystal-clear, embarrassing consistency, that it doesn’t need a single additional so-called prophet in its midst. It needs a collective intervention, a heavy dose of humility, and perhaps a twelve-step program for recovering from prophetic role-playing addiction.

Herbert W. Armstrong already crowned himself the ultimate end-time voice, and what did that spawn? A glorious explosion of mini-Armstrongs, each one more delusional than the last, all declaring the others false while peddling their own special blend of retrofitted headlines, weasel-worded “maybes,” and desperate goalpost-moving. The “fruits”? Endless church splits, traumatized ex-members, laughed-at failed predictions, and a reputation that makes actual Christianity look like a punchline. If this is what divine prophetic authority produces, then God has a truly wicked sense of humor.

New Testament faith was never meant to be this exhausting carnival of ego, dreams, and “I was almost right if you squint and wait twenty years.” It was meant to be about Christ, the gospel, repentance, and basic honesty. The apostles didn’t need to constantly update their prophecy charts or scream “guilt by association” every time someone noticed their forecasts flopped. They just preached the Word.

The COGs don’t need more Bwana Bobs strutting around Kenya playing great white prophet while rewriting history on the fly. They need to retire the entire prophet LARP, admit the emperor has no clothes (and never did), and get back to actual Christianity, that 1st Century Christianity they all claim to practice, and none of them actually do. The Bible is sufficient. The Holy Spirit is sufficient. Grown men pretending their cherry-picked news feeds are divine revelation? Not so much.

True fruits aren’t website traffic, African photo-ops, or masterful displays of cognitive dissonance. True fruits are integrity, humility, and lives transformed by truth—not this pathetic, never-ending spectacle of narcissistic watchmen whose watches are always, always running late. Ditch the prophets, COG. Your movement will be infinitely healthier when the last “Great Bwana” finally stops prophesying and starts repenting.