Crackpot Prophet Asks: Any interest in financial tips?

Why is it that Armstrongism keeps producing ministers and leaders who are convinced they are experts on everything and that normal people should actually want their advice? Back in the day, members apparently couldn’t choose a car color, decide on skirt length, pick an acceptable shirt-and-tie combo, or even let thirsty kids have a sip of water after gym class, past noon, before Atonement, without running to the minister for permission. The level of control-freak insanity was truly special.

Yet here we are in 2026, and our favorite self-appointed, self-endorsed know-it-all has decided the world desperately needs his financial tips. Because after failing spectacularly as a prophet for years, the obvious next career move is clearly “personal finance guru.”

The single best piece of financial advice any COG minister could ever give his followers is this: STOP TITHING. It has financially destroyed far too many people in Armstrongism. And no, it is not a New Covenant command — it is 100% done away with. But don’t expect that little detail from the Great Bwana.

Would you actually go to God’s most highly favored prophet — the one supposedly dreamed into existence before the foundations of the world were even laid — for money advice? Just picture the Holy Trinity sitting around the kitchen table in the seventh heaven, sipping Celestial tea, and trying to figure out how to have the Great Bwana Bob dispense financial tips in these perilous end times. Then they laughed… and laughed… and laughed.

So here we are in 2026 and Crackpot Bwana Bob is happily fulfilling the heavenly hosts’ amusement by offering you his financial “wisdom.”

Any interest in financial tips?

June 22, 2026

COGwriter

2026 has been an unusual financial year for many around the world. There have been oil, fertilizer, and food impacts of the Iran war. There are also trade concerns. Some are warning about stagflation.

The stock markets around the world are jittery. Many around the world are concerned about international matters, including what will happen with the USA because of Donald Trump’s statements and actions.

The USA has the most debt any nation in world history has ever had — and it keeps going up. The per-capita debt of those in the UK is among the highest of all time. The Eurozone has struggles between members, plus its own debt issues.

Those in Asia and South America have seen their economic standards of living generally rise over the past decades, but great apprehension exists. There have been gains and losses in some parts of Africa and the Middle East.

Then guess what the Great Bwana does? He makes the entire post about himself and his “prophetic visions” — visions that apparently no one else on the entire planet has ever thought of or said out loud. This is so profound that no money manager, no news reporter, no newspaper, no blog writer, and no conspiracy theorist ever thought about it! Such ignorant people!“

As I repeated (sic) predicted, gold has hit record prices in US dollar terms—and while gold prices sometimes drop dramatically, ultimately, gold will have value after the US dollar becomes totally worthless.

Who knew? Only the all-seeing Bwana Bob, apparently!

Instead of actually talking about national or international finance, he drags out Herbert W. Armstrong’s 1959 article Ending Your Financial Worries — which is basically one long commercial for tithing.

Bwana Bob continues:

Instead of focusing on national and international finance (which I tend to post about a lot), this post will mainly consist of quotes from the late Herbert W. Armstrong about personal finance from a biblical perspective.

Crackpot Bwana Bob, the world’s foremost financial advisor (in his own imagination), ends his article with this:

I will simply add that God is faithful and that one can live in this age as a tithe payer. No modern currency is going to last over a few decades from now. Do not put your faith in it—particularly the USA dollar.

Yes, financial advice from the man whose prophetic record is a running joke. What could possibly go wrong?

The only rational takeaway is this: no one — and I mean no one — should be taking financial advice, life advice, spiritual advice, or any other kind of advice from a man whose prophetic résumé is a long, unbroken string of spectacular failures. The Great Bwana, who apparently thinks he was the main character in God’s eternal script before the foundations of the world were laid, has once again proven why his “insights” deserve nothing but laughter. If his track record on world events, timelines, and “soon-coming” disasters has been as reliable as a weather forecast written by a Magic 8-Ball, why in the world would any sane person hand him their wallet and ask for money tips?

This was nothing but a recycled (because Bwana Bob doesn't have an original thought in his head) Herbert Armstrong tithing sales pitch dressed up as “biblical financial wisdom” 

Tithing was an Old Covenant command given to ancient Israel to support the Levitical priesthood and the temple system — a system that Jesus Christ fulfilled, ended, and replaced with the New Covenant of grace. There is zero command in the New Testament for Christians to tithe 10% of their income to any modern organization or self-appointed “apostle.” Insisting otherwise isn’t deep spirituality; it’s just old-fashioned legalism wrapped in religious guilt, and it has financially crippled far too many families who were told they’d be cursed if they didn’t pay up.

New Covenant believers are not under the law but under grace. The New Testament repeatedly tells us to give — generously, cheerfully, and freely — as we have been blessed, without compulsion, without percentage quotas, and without some modern minister threatening us with Malachi 3 if we don’t comply. Give to real needs. Give to support genuine ministry. Give with a joyful heart because you want to, not because some failed prophet in a leather chair is trying to keep the lights on in his declining little empire.

Stop giving your money to men who couldn’t predict tomorrow’s weather, let alone the end of the age. Walk away from the tithing treadmill. Give as free people who have been richly blessed by grace — not as frightened slaves still trying to earn God’s favor with an Old Covenant check. The Holy Trinity has apparently been laughing at Bwana Bob’s financial “wisdom” for years. Maybe it’s finally time the rest of us joined them.