Look at Me! I’m an Intellectual! Crackpot Bob's Latest Sabbath Persecution Factoid Frenzy

Crackpot Bob, the self-anointed greatest prophet in the entire annals of Christian history (according to the only person who matters: himself), has blessed the world with yet another sermon on Sabbath Persecution. What a shock! These COG "prophets" really do have the creative range of a broken record player stuck on "fear, doom, and send in more money." Can't let the sheeple get too comfortable, after all. Got to keep them whipped into a perpetual state of paranoia and tithing frenzy. It's the standard operating procedure for these groups—same sermon, different title, endless reruns.

This latest masterpiece is classic Crackpot Bob: pretending to be some towering intellectual while desperately papering over the vast empty spaces in his knowledge with an avalanche of disconnected factoids. Forget developing three or four solid points and actually delving into them with depth and clarity. No, that would require real preaching skill. Instead, Bob machine-guns his listeners with trivia, historical scraps, and speculative "what ifs" until their eyes glaze over. Even the old Worldwide Church of God, that one holy catholic Mother Church of Armstrongism, laid this out plainly in their Spokesman Club Manual—which, according to multiple accounts, our double-blessed wonder never quite managed to finish.

But of course, every Crackpot Bob sermon must ultimately circle back to the main attraction: Bob Thiel. Look at me! See how much I pretend to know! Aren't you impressed by my research? God gave me a double blessing so I could share all this truth with you lucky few! Aren't I just the greatest thing since sliced unleavened bread? It's less a sermon and more a prolonged humblebrag wrapped in end-time paranoia.

Anyway, as Crackpot Bob loves to drone on, here are the "points" from his sermon:

Jesus said His followers would face persecution and should pray that their fleeing would not be on the Sabbath. The Bible clearly teaches that those who keep God’s commandments will be persecuted (Revelation 12:17; 14:12-13), and the Sabbath is one of them (Exodus 20:8). 

• In the 19th century, Seventh-day Adventist Ellen G. White predicted that a ‘National Sunday Law’ would originate in the United States which would result in the persecution of Sabbath keepers around the world–is that consistent with Bible prophecy? 

• The original Christians kept the Sabbath. When and why did the Greco-Roman Catholics adopt Sunday? 

• Was cowardice during the reign of Emperor Hadrian a factor? 

• What about the sun worshiping, cross promoting, Emperor Constantine and his ‘Edict Against Heretics’? 

• Were the faithful grouped with the unfaithful by him? 

• Did Pope Gregory I denounce Sabbath promoters as the “preachers of Antichrist” in an official papal pronouncement? 

• Were many supposedly killed as Jews during the Spanish Inquisition actually Christians and others who kept the Sabbath? 

• Have some Greco-Roman Catholic prophecies related to the final Antichrist been misapplied to be against Jesus when He returns? 

• Might some of them also been misapplied by referring to the coming two witnesses of Revelation 11 as false prophets? 

• Does the New Testament enjoin the Sabbath? 

• Are Gentiles prophesied to keep the Sabbath? 

• Do some Greco-Roman Catholic prophecies teach that those who have crosses on their foreheads will fight against those who do not have them? 

• Is there an Eastern Orthodox prophecy against a former Roman Catholic who lived in the ‘five cities’ who advocates the Sabbath? 

• Is a public executioner of the Sabbatians (Sabbath keepers) prophesied? 

• Do the prophesies in Revelation and Daniel support the view of two different times of murderous persecution, with the second period lasting 3 1/2 years (time, times, and half a time) or 42 months? 

• Does the Bible show that true Christians will be beheaded in Revelation 20? 

• Does the Bible show that true Christians (such as Philadelphian ones) will be burnt to death? 

• If so, are there any Greco-Roman prophecies or past practices consistent with that? 

• What is the only doctrine of Antichrist listed in the latest ‘Catechism of the Catholic Church’? 

• Are there ties between the Sabbath and the millennium and a 6000/7000 year plan? 

• Did the old Radio/Worldwide Church of God tie the prophecies in Daniel 11:32-35 to end time Philadelphian Christians? 

• Could the ‘Great Monarch’ of Greco-Roman Catholic prophecies be the coming European King of the North Beast power that the Bible warns against? 

• Will there be false Christians who pretend that they are real true Church of God Christians? 

• What day of the week did the original catholic church honor? 

• When will persecutions against Sabbath keepers end? 

• Does the Bible show that Jesus will return, establish the kingdom of God to rule the earth, and bless those that keep the Sabbath? 

Dr. Thiel addresses these issues and more.

And more... and more... Who the hell is still paying attention after the first twenty factoid dumps?

In the end, this is why the old Worldwide Church of God, the Global Church of God, and the Living Church of God all refused to ordain him. They knew the truth that his loyal followers refuse to admit: Bob Thiel is simply not an effective speaker or leader. He couldn't preach a coherent, engaging sermon to save his life, let alone build and shepherd a healthy congregation. So instead of accepting that reality, he declared himself a prophet, started his own group, and now floods the internet with these rambling data dumps disguised as divine revelation. It's the same old Armstrongist playbook—fear-mongering about persecution that never quite arrives on schedule, mixed with self-promotion and historical trivia that mostly proves one thing: Crackpot Bob can copy and paste better than he can preach.

Meanwhile, actual New Covenant believers rest in the finished work of Christ rather than obsessing over which day of the week will trigger the next Inquisition. The real tragedy isn't the supposed coming Sunday Law—it's how many sincere people are still trapped listening to this endless parade of speculation, propping up a man who was rejected by every major COG organization for good reason. 

Keep watching, brethren. The only real persecution here is what Crackpot Bob's sermons inflict on common sense and attention spans.