Defective and Never Good Enough--The Challenge of Being Yourself in the Churches of God

Passover and the Days of Unleavened Bread were always more stressful than enjoyable to me. The "examine yourself" concept could wear heavy on one depending on seriously one took it all. As we know, both minister and member was just a ball of jealousy, envy, lust and greed. A worm, so said the Bible and we all hearts deceitful above ALL THINGS and DESPERATELY WICKED!  The was a definite theme of not good enough that ran through one's church life and the struggle to be better was ever present. Ultimately, we were all to become us therefore PERFECT as our heavenly Father is Perfect, but that always escaped me and seemed a bit unreal. I know people who tried but I found them not the kind of folk I wanted to spend much time around. Mostly, it was a fake kinda perfect.

I recall heading up a class meeting where the guest minister speaking to us reminded us all we were the "Cream of the Crud."  Uh oh....that didn't set well. One friend stood up and said he was tired of hearing that crap and it wasn't true. That lead to another standing up, and another and …. well, it spread nicely through the whole campus and lots of people ended up being themselves!

I was never even comfortable with the Apostle Paul telling me that I had to follow him as he followed Christ. Why couldn't he follow me as I did? I didn't know how he followed Christ except once he said he beat himself to keep himself in subjection and that's not for me.   Why do we always strive to be better than we are and even not authentically even who we are?

"Let every man esteem others better than himself," goes the admonition of scripture. That always made me ask "Then what is everyone else supposed to do?"  Sounds like one endless chain of "No, I esteem you  better than me,"  "Oh no, I esteem YOU better than me!"

Being one's self, as you are, at any one time, with all your background, baggage, perspectives, unique qualities, insights and personality traits was never high on the list of what we were supposed to be comfortable with.  We were evidently defective as is and so becoming something else was ever the goal.  It was mentally, emotionally and spiritually exhausting.

I recall being dragged through each of the Ten Commandments by the minister interviewing me for baptism when I was 19.   He asked me if I had ever worshipped other gods....NO, Taken God's name in vain...NO.  Kept the sabbath...Yes, (I went to church three times every Sunday up to that point. It was a technical foul).  Killed...NO, Lied....NO....  Committed Adultery...No (I did have a girlfriend back in NY and did lust after her so that counted as a yes I guess),  Stolen....NO   Coveted....Not really.   Well, he sent me on my way with no pass that interview.  See paragraph one for what I failed to understand.

But ultimately, I got baptized. Honestly....felt no change from on High. I went on to pretty much be the me I am , wearing a few masks along the way to protect myself from the righteous zealots and giving up on that becoming perfect as my Heavenly Father was perfect.  Even if you say it means "mature", which it doesn't, couldn't do that either.

Once Dave Pack found out the minister who replaced him ordained my brother-in-law a deacon and it evidently annoyed him enough to tell Ron, "If I had thought you should be a deacon, I would have ordained you!"  Ron, being his ever genuine self said..."Well Dave, If I didn't think you had shit for brains I'd care!"   That's being yourself!

My dad was pretty much himself no matter as well.  When Dave was chiding the Spokesman Club for not being up on their scripture cards my Dad spoke up and mentioned that the men worked all week and did not have the same time he did to keep up with it all.  Dave told my dad he's see him in the hall at the break.  My dad said..."No you won't!"  lol.  Dad was himself and a great example to me.

Finally, one of the best. After Joe Tkach gave his "Screw the Sabbath" sermon and it was played in one of my relative minister's church, where the song leader, a good ol' boy evidently got up and said, "Now wasn't that the biggest load of shit you ever heard?!  Let's all rise and sing out to the REAL God!"
That's being yourself!

So let me just say that being who you are, in hindsight, is pretty much ok in life. How can one be anything else?  We might tweek things here an there as we go, but I have learned that most people, unless they are at the bottom of human behaviors, don't change very much and probably don't need to either.  I don't find most hearts to be desperately wicked and deceitful nor do I find everyone I know filled with jealousy, envy, lust and greed.  Those traits are reserved for the higher ups evidently.

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”
― Bernard M. Baruch 

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson 

“Don't compromise yourself - you're all you have.”
― John Grisham, The Rainmaker

“If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.”
― Frank Zappa 

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself.”
― Harvey Fierstein

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everyone will respect you.”
― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

“About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won't like you at all.”
― Rita Mae Brown 

“Never complain, never explain. Resist the temptation to defend yourself or make excuses.”
― Brian Tracy 

“Never dull your shine for somebody else.”
― Tyra Banks 

“The easiest thing to be in the world is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don't let them put you in that position.”
― Leo Buscaglia 

“Let others determine your worth and you're already lost, because no one wants people worth more than themselves.”
― Peter V. Brett, The Warded Man

“What other people think and say about you is none of your business. The most destructive thing you would ever do is to believe someone else's opinion of you. You have to stop letting other people's opinions control you.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“You were not born on earth to please anyone; you have to live life to express yourself, not to impress someone. Don't pretend to be someone you're not, and never lose yourself in search of other people's acceptance and approval.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.”
― Bruce Lee

Personally, I'm now comfortable being myself. I'm not defective and neither are you and , while it might irritate some of you, being born right the first time is not a concept that we need discard.

THE SEVEN SUCCESSFUL KEYS TO A ZESTFUL NTBMO

THE SEVEN SUCCESSFUL KEYS TO A ZESTFUL NTBMO:

1. Always avoid booking restaurants with standard names. Such as: “Lester’s Steak House” or “Big Mamma’s Grille.” Avoid chain restaurants too. Pick those which have swanky names. Like; “The Lamb & The Lion” or “Scandal’s at Riverpoint.” Although, your steak maybe the size of a postage stamp and the price is 4 or 5 times higher, it’s all about splurging your 2nd tithe that night.

2. Be the first to put the Rye Crisp on the table. This act shows you’re deeply converted and your mind is on the feast.

3. Point out problems with food, even if you have to make them up. Such as; “George, I think that’s a bacon bit under your lettuce leaf” or “Jane, that looks like a crouton in your mashed potatoes.” Don’t over do it, 2 or 3 times during the meal is fine.

4. Ordering wine; if the wine taste like 3 day old burnt coffee grounds, order it! It will be very expensive and talk about it’s wonderful flavor. This is very impressive. Also, brush up on how wine is made. When the wine is first served to the table, give a 5-10 minute lecture on the art of making wine. Super impressive!

5. Memorize several Bible verses about the FUB. When there’s a lull in the conversation, quote a Bible verse then make a toast. Don’t be a stick in the mud, always drink to another person's toast.

6. How much should you drink? The Seder has a minimum of 4 glasses of wine. Seven is the stopping point because, that’s God’s perfect number. Yes, it’s okay to switch to beer or mixed drinks after you have at least 2 glasses of wine.

7. Always leave the biggest tip on the table. It must be seen too. Example; cough real loud when you’re dropping that $100 bill on the table.

MB

When Zealotry Rears Its Ugly Head

Here is a prime example of how legalism destroys rational thinking. The sheer absurdity of paying more attention to these minuscule rules than allowing one to be set free by grace and triumph shows just how mentally sick those who claim to be such zealots of the law really are. They hate anything that has to do with Jesus, grace, justification, mercy, and compassion, that shattered the yoke of the law and instead have become professional prostitutes to the law.

Explanation of this New Year’s moon sighting

The new moon was seen by only one person and that outside Jerusalem after sunset ending 6 April, however it was calculated to be easily visible and was seen by numerous witnesses east of Jerusalem.

The moon’s illumination at Jerusalem was 1.3% at the moon’s meridian passing  13:35 on 6 Apr, later at nearly 8 pm when it was sighted the illumination was more than 2%. It was easily visible.  The term “meridian refers to the moon being directly above the observation site.

The issue in this month’s instance, is that it was well established by calculation that the moon could be very easily seen, and it was seen by multiple witnesses east of the city as well as one witness a few miles outside the city.

Scroll down to the April 6 New Moon sightings list.  Note particularly that the new moon was seen directly east of Jerusalem in Pakistan and Saudi Arabia.

The fact is that sighting by two witnesses at Jerusalem is essential when there is any ambiguity in the calculations; but when the calculations establish the new moon without question, then sightings from east of the city will confirm the calculations.

During the ancient Temple period the Sanhedrin would calculate the first visible light of the new moon at Jerusalem, and then at the appropriate time they would interview witnesses in Jerusalem to confirm their calculations.  

Today, even though people go out to search for the new moon in Israel, it is often the case that there are no people searching for the new moon in Jerusalem, or searchers are not reporting in a timely manner due to Rabbinic restrictions. 

What if in some months there is no one even looking from Jerusalem: Shall we say that there is no new month when by both calculation and observation outside the city it is obviously the new moon, just because a sighting was not reported at Jerusalem?  

We must do the very best we can in  our circumstances and if there is no doubt of the visibility by calculation and it is seen east of the city then the new moon should be declared: but if there is any doubt about the calculated potential visibility and the moon is not sighted east of the city then the new moon should NOT be declared. 

It is not always possible to have timely reports of observation directly from Jerusalem and at times it is necessary to invoke rule three of the Calendar principles article. This is a difficult issue and I welcome any input which would help, but as of now I am convinced that April 7, 2019 is the new moon day.

I look forward to the day when Christ comes and provides us clear instructions.

James