The lunacy continues with God's appointed end time prophet/apostle, Pastor Malm:
PASSOVER ULB: It has been brought to my attention that there are some recipes put out by COG Groups which actually call for honey in Unleavened Bread. The Scriptures absolutely forbid the use of honey in any baked offering [made by fire] to be eaten, or grain [meat] offering to be burned [consumed by God in the fire; the fire symbolic of God's spirit] in the fire.
This is because of the heavy connection of bees and honey with pagan religions and witchcraft. The pagan deities are strongly associated with bees and honey – Aphrodite, Vishnu, Pan, Cybele, and Ra, just to name a few.
That does NOT mean that bees and honey are bad; they are creations of God and are good. It does mean that these good things are being used as symbols of perversion by the heathan. NEVER use honey in any Passover or ULB unleavened bread. Please simply google paganism bees for more.
And what about those sinful eggs???
No, I am not talking about THOSE eggs, Apostle Malm is upset about these eggs:
How dare you cooks out there beat your eggs to put in your UB baked products! Everyone knows you are trying to get as close to Satan as possible when you do that! Heathen, perverse generation of laodicean sinners!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It should also be remembered that recipes calling for an artificial leavening by the addition of beaten eggs is symbolic of getting as close to sin as possible while actually breaking the letter of the law. This is breaking the spirit of the law and it is SIN; in the same way that hate is murder, or that lust is adultery.
ridiculouser and ridiclouser.
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine a real Deity, you know the one that inspired all beyond Hubbel being having a falling out with humans over honey?
I name the affliction where one hunts and pecks their way through the Bible to mine it for whatever goofiness one needs to find, Meme-alitis. It is a mindvirus caused by excessive prooftexing and coming up with a good study in majoring in the minors.
This guy deserves the paganoid award of 2011.
ReplyDeleteI like an occasional Rye Krisp or even a matzo, but I'm glad I no longer spend 8 days trying to out-jew the Jews.
ReplyDeleteI have forbidden my wife from even looking at this site, lest she get a yeast infection.
ReplyDeleteAnd, for the past 32 years since knowing the Truth, during the DoUB I apply a tincture made of whole-wheat ammonia to my wiener, to prevent it from sinfully puffing up when I when I read the Song of Solomon.
Oh good grief! I am so glad I got out of the lunacy as communicated by those self professing apostles of God who feel they must regulate every aspect of their tithe slaves lives.
ReplyDeleteIn my mind, both the self professing apostles of God and their tithe slave followers together practice a spiritual/mental form of BDSM.
Richard
This brings back more memories of the unbalanced ideas we were programmed to believe in. I've never belonged to any other church but the COG, so I really can't compare it to others. Are other churches as f*&^%ed up as the ministurds made US? Why were we so gullible as to allow them so much leeway to abuse us at every turn? Malm is really off the deep end.
ReplyDeleteI believe, in hindsite, the focus on putting sin out and the gnat straining made me think of sinning more. I guess we're just like that :) It never seemed to mellow the genocidal Israelites nor prevent them from coming up with insane rules of engagement concerning the captive women and children. They had an odd concept of "You shall do no murder." And no doubt were very gnattish in getting the leaven out when commanded to.
ReplyDeleteAs long as I'm here, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than a richman to enter the Kingdom of God," is another translation goof up.
"Camel" and "Rope" evidently are very close in the language and I think we can see which one fits the analogy best. You know, thread is to rope as needle is to eye of stuff.
I do miss the friendships however that holydays afforded us. It's taken a decade to learn to like just being with myself ha DD
And too....Many know the obvious problems of Easter origins in Astro-theology and the crucifiction of the SUN on the intersection of the Ecliptic and Celestial Equator which occurs at the Spring Equinox where the sun rises at 90 degrees due east.
ReplyDeleteCheck this out in the layout of Vatican Square and the obelisk in the middle which keeps track of such things.
However, "Passover" is also another way of saying "Easter" and "Spring Equinox" for it is where the SUN Passes over the intersection and is crucified at the same time taking away the darkness of winter or the "sins of the world" as we might say,
In Jesus day, the Sun was in Aries the Lamb at Easter/Passover or just leaving it and dying going on into Pices for the past 2000 years where the church has taken the fish symbol to itself in the church age.
When Jesus said, "behold, I am with you even unto the end of the age," the writer was noting the passing of the SUN from Aries the Lamb into Pices the two fish. (TWO FISH..remember?:)
In short, there is no evidence in this world for the Exodus as told in the OT. It's another SUN story as is that of Sam/sun and others.
It's no coincidence that Delila means "Languishing" and that is what the Sun was doing when it went into the Fall so Sam/sun lots his power and cutting his hair off was really the sun lanquishing in Fall to winter symbolised by the rays (hair) of the man being shorn.
Nuther story I guess
Great stuff
You see this reflected as well in the Passover NT Jesus telling the disciples to follow the guy carrying the water jug to where they should keep the LAST Passover with Aries/Jesus the Lamb. Pices the fish was now coming up for the next 2190 years and after that Aquarius, the Waterman who carries a water jug. It may also show the book was written well into the Age of Pices between BC and before the Age of Aquarius which would have been next.
ReplyDeleteIn the real middle east, Women carried the water on their heads not men. It's a astro-theological hint of what "ages" meant in the text.
Gosh, all I want in life is to know where all this stuff that captivated me literally REALLY came from and who REALLY wrote it and WHY. I guess that will never go away
"Can you imagine a real Deity, you know the one that inspired all beyond Hubbel being having a falling out with humans over honey?"
ReplyDeleteWhy shouldn't it? Why shouldn't it be even stricter? Because we find it offensive? The deity of the bible and a "real" more benevolent deity are both figments of the imagination. It's like wishing that Frodo were, in "real life," a bit taller.
Paul Ray
It's like wishing that Frodo were, in "real life," a bit taller"
ReplyDeleteGood analogy. I've stalled at seeing "Biblegod" as a petty and cultic construct and just wondering, though seemingly out of touch, if there is some spiritually unified theory of something.
I still like the concept of "God" hiding within each of us in some way because humans would NEVER think to look there...:) dd
"In short, there is no evidence in this world for the Exodus as told in the OT."
ReplyDeleteSo? Just because we don't have evidence doesn't mean it didn't happen. Let's not be so sure of ourselves, so arrogant to think that the Exodus never occurred. There are things in this world that we can't explain.
Paul Ray
"Good analogy.....if there is some spiritually unified theory of something....I still like the concept of "God" hiding within each of us..."
ReplyDeleteGood analogy, but hopefully not lost on you. Your idea and concepts, though heart warming, are just as baseless as Biblegod. Just as baseless as Zeus. Just as baseless as leprechauns. But I doubt you spend time entertaining the idea of Zeus or leprechauns like you do your ideas and concepts.
Paul Ray
Jeez Paul, I thought you were a bit more friendly in discussion than this..:)
ReplyDeleteI'm find some fascination with the implications of quantum physics, paralles universes, string theory and the holographic universe. Each has implications for something going on besides the reality that we see, if it is real.
I may be a hairless ape by ancestory, but I'll still hold out for something really cool going on.
Whatever is "baseless" in these concepts, I suppose you'd have to have a chat with a physicist about that
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A292PF-bseA
ReplyDeleteWho knows? All we know is not all there is to know...
And again, since this is not my experience, you'd have to talk to these folks about their experiences
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WxGC2uPj5M&feature=related
ReplyDeleteThis is a great interview and once again the same story, just different experience. I don't pretend to know. I just haven't been able to not find it encouraging and fascinating. Even if it is chemically induced at death, why does the body spare us this trauma?
I have found in working with church members who survived horrendous accidents that the brain/mind rewinds to a point of not remembering the actual moment of impact or hanging out being killed slowly. It's a merciful rewind of somekind. Why that?
I choked on a piece of meat once, just new in the ministry and alone at home having just been dropped off by the minister after a day of visiting etc. I was a goner. I did see it all play out. I did have time ask why this after thinking God had put me in the ministry. I curled up on my knees on the floor to die and remember thinking, detached, "this isn't as bad as I would have thought..."
Then the door burst open behind me, I had gotten a call off to the guy who just dropped me off, he slugged me on the back , I spit it out and began laughing and crying all in one. It was close.
I got a bunch of those!!! ha.
"Jeez Paul, I thought you were a bit more friendly in discussion than this..:)"
ReplyDeleteJust pointing out that your 1) rejection of Biblegod and 2) the acceptance of at least the idea of a more benevolent deity are both based not on any objective measure, but personal preference.
You don't like the idea of Biblegod, therefore you reject him. This isn't how reality works. Biblegod exists or doesn't exist regardless of whether you agree with his personality and actions. Speaking for myself, if there were evidence for the existence of Biblegod, I would accept his existence, even though I find him evil and repugnant. I reject his existence not because he is evil and repugnant to me, but because there is no evidence.
Likewise, you are eager to accept, or somewhat believe, that there is a benevolent amorphous deity out there- not because you have any evidence, but because you like the idea and want to believe.
I guess my main point is how can you continue your search for "truth" when you are incapable of sorting truth from error? When you have no meter to judge between real and non-existant? When you reject, or accept, the existence of things based on the personal attributes you or others give to these things, but not on whether there is any evidence to support there existence??
If you really want to find truth, you are going to have to develop tools for discovery.
I have a friend who believes in ~everything~, from conspiracy theories to crystals to UFO's to gods to demons to etc. Yet he believes that he is a very skeptical person. He isn't. He has lost the ability to be skeptical. He will never be able to separate truth from reality.
And his mantra is always- "we don't know all there is to know." Yeah? No shit. But because we don't know everything are we to remove all our bullshit filters? To accept the existence of everything that tickles our imagination?? And if not, if we are to have some level of skepticism, then how much?
Skepticism does not equal a closed mind, but unfortunately in our society open minded is a term applied to those who wallow in self-imposed gullibility.
Paul Ray
Then I just enjoy the possibilities of what quantum physics, consciousness studies and such have to offer. I guess thats why others make whole careers out of the science behind the phenomenon
ReplyDeletewow..I bet the COG world is abuzz with excitement over this truth.
ReplyDeleteMemo From the Desk of the Eternal One
ReplyDeleteRe: Honey and Carob
"I forgot to make honey and carob unclean. My bad. I hate that shit."
Yours,
YHWH
As more and more predictions fail and it becomes obvious that Armstrongism is pure rubbish, it is inevitable that the insane will escalate their hyperbole, even as they realize it is all slipping away from them -- the it being not just failed future fantasy, but the mental facilities to be able to even put one child's wooden blocks on top of one another.
ReplyDeleteThese creatures are off their meds again. That's why the level of mental noise has exceeded the threshhold of pain and there is no peace.
The only way to peace is to give it up and walk away from it. Yes, throw in the towel to all that wasted investment which leads to absolutely NOTHING.
Repent.
Isn't that what the Days of Unleavened Bread are all about anyway?
Or has extreme acts against nature itself permanently seared the conscience, rendering it incapable of not just being able to discern between right and wrong, but being able to tell what is utterly nuts and what is not.
So go ahead and admit your sin.
And then we can stone you to death and be done with it.