These Shoes are Killin'
Me!
Do you like the
color?
She came through the front door of the local hospital looking more like a
person who was about to ask where the emergency room was than the visitor she
turned out to be. She was middle age and walking like she felt 100 years old.
Limping and listing side to side, I thought she was going to tip over right in
the lobby before ever getting to the desk. She asked the room number of a friend
she wanted to visit and we found out they had been discharged and gone home.What followed was comment that symbolized how so many live their lives on lots of topics.
"Good," she said, "Now I can go home and get these damn heels off." It was her church shoes that were tormenting this poor woman and giving her this grotesque walk that she must have counted as her normal "these are my damn Church Heels" walk. She was miserable in them. They were physically killing her feet and adding peril to her walk from points A to B. But damn it, "these are my Church Heels and I wear them every Sunday," I suppose is what she felt and expected of herself.
Why do we do that? Why do we torment ourselves wearing things we are expected to wear and doing things we are expected to do, when in fact they hurt us and make us miserable? She was obviously expected to wear those shoes, certainly by her own force of habit, but maybe also by all the other women in her church who tolerate the same torment of wearing shoes that in fact are "killin my feet." In her case, just stop wearing the darn things lady! They are either too small, too high, too narrow, too old or too so not your style. Just stop wearing them and every bone, muscle and joint from your toes to the back of your skull with thank you a thousands times over!
You pick the topic, but this wearing, doing, participating in, going to and believing things "that are a killin my feet," seems to be such a human trait and why do we do it? Seems so easy to me, but that's because I have gone through the process of rejection for not doing things that don't personally work for me anymore and leaving some shaking their heads in dismay over the changes I have made in ways of doing or not doing, being and not being. How about you? What is it you are doing, or practicing, or forcing yourself to believe, or participating in that you really don't want to and are physically, mentally, emotionally and even spirituality killin you?
Why do we torment ourselves by doing that which we don't really want to do and not doing those things we really want to. If that sounds a bit like the Apostle Paul, I'm not speaking of the same frustration he was thinking about.
First of all, we don't do or think the things we really feel because it is not acceptable with the Tribe. They have a belief and plan for our life all ready pre-approved, and we are not to stray from that plan without their permission, which we will never get, or approval, which we also shall never get. Solution: "I can't wait to take off these damn heels. They are killin my feet."
Secondly, wearing the clothes we want to wear, thinking the thoughts that work for us and believing that which we have found to be more true for ourselves, takes homework, effort and determination to be our authentic self. That poor woman knew how she felt in those lousy heels, but she still made no effort to correct the situation for her, choosing rather to endure it, and to her peril. How many people do I know who wear their ill fitting ideas, beliefs and practices on the outside, knowing full well that this is not who they are nor what they really believe. As I have noted in the past, how many ministers I know who understand a topic to be more true in their understanding than that which they are willing to share with their congregation. There is no difference between their discomfort and the woman wearing the heels that she hates and can't wait to get rid of, but can't or won't. In this case, these men have done the homework, but won't share the results because it is too risky. There is no difference between that problem and wearing "these damn heels." We just don't mention our discomfort, aches and pains and keep on wobbling along. Solution: "I can't wait to take off these damn heels. They are killin my feet."
Finally, we must do, practice, go, participate in and believe that which is
"killin us," because, well, we like to. Oh my feet hurt, but everyone wears
these damn heels and their feet must hurt too. Somehow, as long as we know that
everyone else is miserable, we can just follow along in the misery and be happy
with it. Scary huh! It is truly a case of "Doc, every time I do this, it hurts,"
to which the Doc tells us, "then stop doing that." We can't. It's a habit, we
paid good money for those damn shoes, ideas and classes, and we gotta wear them.
Well, no really we don't have to do anything. Just because one invested 20 years
in one set of ideas, does not mean we have to invest the next 20 in the same set
of erroneous ideas, although I realize that if something was "good enough for
papa, it is good enough for you," as some will say.
Solution: "I can't wait take off these damn heels. They are killin my
feet."So don't put up with that which does not serve you any longer for any reason. There is no good reason to do that as you just end up with crooked feet, aching shins, lousy knees, fractured femurs, grinding joints, a twisted pelvis, painful back and a lingering headache. Take off the heels and get you some moccasins that fit and feel soft as a babies butt, and see how many want to join your tribe.
Dennis C. Diehl
DenniscDiehl@aol.com
Good subject. I agree. Take the damn heels off and put on something that's comfortable.
ReplyDeleteThe longer I live, the less I care about what others expect me to think, do or wear. It took a while, but I no longer worry about what others will think. I'll be me, and they can take me or leave me. It's up to them.
One of the problems with Armstrongism is that it doesn't consider the fact that everyone is unique and has their own personality profile. I am not a social person. As a member of the WCG I always felt I was spiritualy weak because I stuggled very much socially. Now I realize that I am a sensitve, quite personallity type and I don't have to be something or someone I'm not.
ReplyDeleteI am free to be my self.
I took off the high heels and put on a comfortable pair of walking shoes when I left the WCG.
Good comment Ed. I am a ENFP by Meyer/Briggs standards which is Extrovert, Intuitive, Feeling and Perceiving and makes up 2% of the population. People like me become pastors, counselors, negotiators and even Massage Therapists.
ReplyDeleteIt's a healer personality and I have no illusions where it comes from.
We are all different and it is ok.
Back in the late 1980s and early '90s, I had a job for which I was required to wear not a tie and jacket, but a suit, every day of the week. Now, mind you, I did not stop riding motorcycles during this period of time, or owning biker attire, and funny things would occasionally happen in supermarkets when a customer would see me in ratty levis, Harley tank top, bandanna, and boots. I used the term "chameleon" to describe this phenomenon, and am not altogether certain that this was acceptable to those from certain socio-economic standings. They would much rather have seen me with a hobby centered on other mechanical devices, such as a boat.
ReplyDeleteInterestingly, friends and I played on peoples' natural revulsion, arriving at Denny's so attired on a Sunday morning, in, say, Palm Springs, Hemet, or Lancaster, just as the "Sunday go to meetin'" folks arrived with their squeaky clean families. The thing is, virtually everybody objected to us, but nobody could do a darned thing about us, so long as we kept our conversation civil, broke no laws, and paid for our pancakes or chili.
Now, in some small way, if I had to trace this, I'd have to categorize such behavior as residual rebellion towards the conventions enforced at WCG. Why at one point, we even turned a funeral for an old lady who had been friendly to the bikers in our community into a biker event. To our surprise, the reverend came up to us all and wanted to shake our hands. He apparently rode during his youth.
Now, here is what I'm getting to. It is not a New Covenant teaching that people need to dress to a code to listen to a spiritually orientated message. Can you imagine reading Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, if all those who came to listen to Jesus had to dress in certain ways? Jesus did not deliberately place artificial obstacles to belief in the paths of those who wanted to hear Him. It was our old friends the Pharisees who set such examples and standards going way overboard with their little bells, long phylacteries, and numerous tassels on their garments. It wasn't totally the Pharisees fault, either, as they were simply holding to Old Covenant conventions. Jesus called them "whitened sepulchures" beause they were so careful about the outside, yet their hearts were rotten, judgemental towards others, and elitist. That was a common theme which flowed through the gospels.
I am glad to be able to go to a church, listen to a message, and take communion with folks who have the choice to come to church in their shorts and japflaps, or fashionable clothing, and where people are just happy that all get to hear the message, properly educate their children, and hopefully impact our community. The important thing is transformation to Christ-like nature, not a miserable, illogical, yellow pencil dress code. Once again, here is another dramatic example of the ACOGs and select other groups failing to understand the New Covenant.
BB
I understand your mindset, BB. Right after leaving, I went to a full mustache and long sideburns (clear down to the edge of my jaw) and quit wearing suits all the time.
ReplyDeleteI was determined to be me and let no one determine my outward appearance but me. I'm still very individual in my attire and grooming, choosing what I like and what I feel is becoming on me.