The Two Witless Witnesses
Armstrongisms' biggest fool has opened his mouth and made an ass of himself yet again. According to Mike (Don't Drink the Flavor Aid) Weinerdude claims that the two witnesses cannot die.
Apparently the two witless witnesses have been living through great persecution over the last 3 1/2 years. With the coming of Christ at the end of May this year, the two witless witnesses will have fulfilled their commission. Mr and Mrs. Weinerdude will be come god like God is now.
Weineerdude writes:
The two witnesses will not be killed in the literal city of Jerusalem. And their dead bodies will not lie in the streets for 3 1/2 days. God’s two witnesses will live right up to the coming of Jesus Christ, coming to this earth as the king of kings. This 3 1/2 days spoken of here about the two witnesses is fully about the past nearly 3 1/2 years, what we have been living.
That kind of flies in the face of what Weinerdude wrote in his comedic book on prophecy 2008 God's Final Witness.
It is now with boldness, confidence and great clarity that I give to you what God has given me. I am to announce, through God's direct revelation, that I am one of those two witnesses. The other witness will be revealed to the world during the time of the great tribulation—within the final three and one-half years of man’s era. During that period of time, we will, together, completely fulfill all that God has given us to witness to this whole earth. Then, at the end, we will die in the streets of Jeruslaem; and finally, exactly three and one-half days later, we will be resurrected (Revelation 11). The world will see this resurrection via television. At this same time Jesus Christ will appear in the heavens above the earth as He is returning to take the reigns of man’s government on earth. (Weinland R. 2008: God’s Final Witness, p. 16)
Weinerdude later names Mrs. Weinerdude as the second witless witness. Do they die or not die, that is the question. With any luck Weinderdude will be imprisoned by the IRS before that time.
"Incredible" (That's Ron's favorite word)
ReplyDeleteBut, I am happy for him that God has spared them both the pain and bother of dying and lying around for three days before going up.
When push comes to shove, Ron finds the phrase, "It's spiriiiritual," ever so helpful
In praise of Ron's honesty I have sent a huge tithe that I have been holding back for years. He will notice the check is not filled out or signed, because the offering is "spiiiiiiritual" and not real money, but now I feel that is an ok tithe . This week I will be spiiiiritually at church while working.
M.T.Sackcloth
Personally, I don't think it is fair to be labeled a "mocker" when RW provides so much material for mockage...
ReplyDeleteGood grief!!
ReplyDeletePKG: Pathetic Kook Group.
ReplyDeleteIt is entirely possible that this man may emerge from prison with a completely different attitude and understanding. Or, he could just get worse.
ReplyDeleteBB
What can happen when you have tax issues? Anyone?
ReplyDeleteIt is entirely possible that this man may emerge from prison with a completely different co-witness.
ReplyDelete(His NEW lover, the incredible Big Black Bubba from cell block #9.)
I predict they will bust out of prison together just so they can have an incredible threesome with a sexy tree.
Norm