The various false prophets of Armstrongism have been making all kinds of predictions lately. All seem to think they have an inside track to the thing they call god and its timetable on world events. Every single one of them will be proven to be a lair.
James Malm says:
The great tribulation coming soon.
In terms of prophecy: Kerry plans to return to Israel / Palestine shortly, for another round of shuttle diplomacy. Right now his aids are talking with the two sides so that hopefully his next trip can be successful. They are reported to be planning six to nine months of peace talks to resolve all issues and bring an agreement, then both sides will hold referendums on the deal, before the agreement is finalized and peace keepers are brought in.
The coming war might also delay the planned talks, so unless things begin to fast track it is most likely that the tribulation will not begin until at least late 2014. Of course it will begin when all the biblical signs are present.At the same time the EU elections are next July and they are working to set up a new federalized Europe at that time. It is likely that as usual the EU will have problems and delays, and the abomination, likely a new pope, will come in late 2014. However things could speed up and take place in 2013 if that is God’s will. The start of the tribulation is possible in 2013 and highly probably in 2014.
Tribulation = the perpetual boogeyman. And, assuming God is faithful to his people in spite of their physical weaknesses, why is this even an issue??? Want to learn about being controlled and manipulated? Call your local ACOG guru, today! He's got all the answers!
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I predict that in 2014 James Malm will predict that the tribulation may begin in 2015, unless it does not, in which case it may possibly occur in 2016. Can I have a secret bible decoder ring now, too?
ReplyDeleteIt's sad that all those ACOG preachers as well as all those TV preachers try to reel in people with wallets in tow by claiming they know a TRUTH that Jesus is coming very very very very soon.
ReplyDeleteTammy Faye Bakker and Jan Crouch both look like they were directed by a pimp to gussie themselves up to find some toothless hillbilly johns.
ReplyDeleteObviously neither is "spirit-filled" because even a semi-holy spirit would have told them how foolish they look.
And now Matt Crouch (Jan and Paul's son) has got himself a wife that looks like a cheap whore, too.
Maybe there's something about the Christian mentality the Crouches are playing to, that finds the "cheap whore" look attractive to prospective backward tithe slaves?
"The start of the tribulation is possible in 2013 and highly probably in 2014."
ReplyDeleteI have never seen someone who so continuously qualifies his predictions as much as Malm does. You might as well say he hedges his bets, which begs the questions as to why make them in the first place?
It's AMAZING that HWA and all who seem to follow the delusional pattern of his like Malm, Meredith, Flurry, Pack, etc in predicting the END OF THE WORLD don't actually gamble in the lottery seeing that's all they're REALLY doing i.e. GAMBLING on the timing of Christ's return! And I thought gambling was a sin?!
ReplyDeleteThen again maybe if they were to play the lotto their success rate would no doubt be just as woeful!
Ha!
ReplyDeleteIt's so easy to say "right around the corner" or "soon"...or even pull a herbie and set a date but blame it on members' "blockages" [like his wife's preventable death] for it not happening.
There are surely turds that are big and hard and creating blockages toward the advancement of civilization.
You can find their names in the "who's who" of the Armstrongist splinters and also those on Daystar TV and TBN TV.
It sure would be nice if someone spelled out the precise date and actually got it right, because I'd like to order my Hallmark tribulation greeting cards in advance. Does anyone have a list of the addresses for the Haliburton camps across the US?
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The "great tribulation" began with the two Jewish revolts (actually 3) and the resultant diaspora of the Jews. Even the name of the country of Judea was changed to Palestine.
ReplyDeleteIf the persecutions of the Jews had not been cut short by the defeat of Hitler and Nazi Germany, none of the Jews would have survived.
Of course, the gospel writers didn't know about the holocaust but they did know about the first Jewish revolt and the destruction of the temple in 70 AD. The gospel writers also knew that the Zealots were still talking rebellion afterward, so, further destruction was not too hard to predict. In the Apocalypse, which was probably written during the Bar Kokhba rebellion as a warning to the 7 churches in Asia not to become involved, John predicted the destruction of Jerusalem and Jesus returning to destroy the Romans.
That last part didn't happen, of course. Predictions of the future are just that way - most of the time they are wrong. But, just because Christian predictions have been wrong 100% of the time for 2,000 years, that doesn't mean anything for the gloom and doom folks. There's gold in them thar predictions.
Malm said today, since he hasn't gained an outside following as he had hoped, he is now going to let the Churches of God have it, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
ReplyDeleteHe was going softly on iTunes with only 30 minute uploads to invite the world in, but they're no where to be found. So, now the Church must listen to a nearly hour long rant of him picking on those poor defenceless Nicolaitanes.
When Malm first started his blog in April 2010, it was all about the UCG-COGWA fiasco, and that's mostly what he talked about for the first year and half. Then, since he was beginning to run out of that kind of material, he began transitioning into topical screeds. Then, he began running out of topics to rant about, so he transitioned into mainly making a running commentary of the bible book-by-book, cutting, pasting, and scribbling in between the lines with crayons. He still has left to cover Genesis-Numbers, Joshua-Samuel, Ester, Lamentations, Ezekiel, Daniel, most of Matthew, James, Colossians, and Revelation. I'm not sure if Kings and Chronicles really lend themselves to Malm's screeds.
ReplyDeleteUnder the rosiest scenarios, given that he continues his running crayola commentaries until he's covered the entire bible, and given that he continues at the same rate that he's been going since he started covering Psalms, about 1.5 chapters per day on average, he's got about 1 year left to go before he runs out of material again.
What's he going to do then? Start rehashing bible chapters he's already been over (and possibly contradicting himself) or reposting old crayola commentaries a second time with a new date on it? Or will he transition into audio "sermons" because of his diabetes and failing eyesight?
Having gone through Malm's archives and seeing just the titles of his daily posts, you really get the feel for the man's message. It's all negative, judgement, and bad news. It's all about how his "god" "hates" this and that and the other thing. It's all Malm judging other people, making the mistake of imagining that his "god" feels the same way he does, and then going the extra step of making the mistake of telling everyone how he feels, but phrasing it as though his "god" told him to say it. Malm obviously fancies himself a latter-day major prophet, and imagines that some of his writings will later be canonized into the bible (with the spelling fixed of course...)
I stopped reading Malm a while back, not because he was constantly accusing UCG, but because he was doing so without any evidence. It was very frustrating to hear his outlandish accusations and then not have a shred of evidence to confront my UCG friends with. I would have loved to have had some facts to show my friends where UCG was heading, but Malm had none. It was all gossip, rumor, innuendo, or outright lies for all I knew. He was regularly saying "reports are coming in" "my sources tell me" and "it is now apparent". Once I realized that the things Malm was saying had no proof, I took an honest look at UCG, and realized that UCG is actually the "least sucky" (as someone else once commented on this blog) of the COGs.
ReplyDeleteIt seems that the rest of the COGs continually take shots at UCG, yet UCG just smiles and keeps plugging along with no apparent animus toward anyone. I believe that the fact that there is no hierarchical leader is UCG's biggest plus.
Oh, poor Malm!
ReplyDeleteSo, for the first year and half, it was all about the hilarious UCG-COGWA fiasco?
Maybe he could procure one of the comedy cows that started the hilarious UCG-COGWA fiasco, spray paint it red, and ride it around the country with a megaphone to gather followers and be a part of biblical prophecy!
Malm wrote today that he is helping to prepare the way for the two witnesses.
ReplyDeleteDoesn't take much to read between the lines to see he claims to be the end-time Elijah.
The man wouldn't know a new moon if it hit him in the head. All one needs to do is visit the U.S. Naval Observatory site to view what the moon looks like at any given time. But, Malm being the typical Pharisee that he is, knows a better way.
Those few who are following him to his feast site this year, just because they think he's an expert and holds the sacred calendar, are in for a rude awakening.
So Malm says the tribulation might happen in 2013 or it might not happen. Well like other "false prophets" he's covered all possible outcomes now hasn't he?!?!?! What kind of a prediction or prophecy is that?
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ReplyDeleteNotaprophet said...
So Malm says the tribulation might happen in 2013 or it might not happen. Well like other "false prophets" he's covered all possible outcomes now hasn't he?!?!?! What kind of a prediction or prophecy is that?
July 12, 2013 at 6:24 AM -
LOL "Notaprophet" I like that name.
Anonymous said...
ReplyDeleteTammy Faye Bakker and Jan Crouch both look like they were directed by a pimp to gussie themselves up to find some toothless hillbilly johns.
Obviously neither is "spirit-filled" because even a semi-holy spirit would have told them how foolish they look.
And now Matt Crouch (Jan and Paul's son) has got himself a wife that looks like a cheap whore, too.
Maybe there's something about the Christian mentality the Crouches are playing to, that finds the "cheap whore" look attractive to prospective backward tithe slaves?
July 7, 2013 at 11:28 PM
ROTFLMAO...Where was I when this post was posted. This one's funny as h...!