I believe we have all learned much over the years about the bullies of narcissism in high places. Most people don't have the time and don't run across such personality disorders in their lives but they infest the office, the government and religious organizations. Narcissists, defined below and it should give members and ministers in some of the more bizzaro Church of God Slivers pause if you have never considered just what may actually be going on over your head. While it is not our or my place to diagnose a clinical narcissist, one can observe and compare the common traits and draw their own conclusions about what exactly may be the fuel driving the engine of ministry gone amuck.
Joe Pesci in his Goodfellows role is an extreme example of the problem. Truly one of the more tension filled movie characters ever created. When he entered the room, he was the room. When he spoke, everyone listened or else,. When he got angry, someone died.
Here is what some splinters are dealing with and it is goes all the way back to WCG and some of the men who also rose to the "top" of ministry and never could either take counsel or resist dis-membering those who got in their way. It is also very possible that some of our more energetic and not to be toyed with Biblical characters also suffered from such personality disorders which was viewed back then as both a form of better contact with God and obedience to the voices in their heads. I personally believe the Apostle Paul suffered from some form of personality disorder or mental illness such as schizophrenia or temporal lobe epilepsy depending on who you read. It is possible as well he was a repressed gay man in a culture where you simply never let on and did not practice it. Many of Paul's self deprecating statements and confessions of not being able to do what he should and stop doing what he should not do, along with an undefined thorn in the flesh could lead to this kind of conclusion. He wants to say something but never quite does.
While not unknown qualities listed from time to time on the Banned HWA site, here is another reminder of the behaviors common to bullying adults and narcissists.
The following is the most comprehensive list of narcissistic and bullying traits available and covers just about everything one would run into when dealing with this type of human being. Of course there are reasons why people become this way but our first concern here is that when they become adults and when they place themselves, usually at the expense of others and climbing on the bodies of those who got in their way, YOU need to know it when you see it to protect yourself and your loved ones. These men and women can hide VERY WELL in MINISTRY. Where in a business or government setting these folk are openly known as people not to be toyed with in their lofty positions, in MINISTRY their quirky and bullying ways SEEM like a form of OBEDIENCE to the "Laws of God" and a DRIVE that is Spirit lead by that God to to the WORK of a God.
Frankly they seem like a lot of Biblical characters and that has to be good right?
I know these traits will sound very familiar in their reality in some of the more drama ridden and one man run Churches of God Slivers.
✦ A sense of superiority places them above others
✦ Must be the center of attention, constantly seeking approval, acknowledgment, kudos, accolades, praise
✦ Act like they are the lead character in all things in life
✦ Dominate conversations because they believe they have the only worthwhile things to say
✦ Want others to give into their demands, request for favors, and put their needs first
✦ Have inflated egos, inflated sense of entitlement, inflated sense of importance, inflated need to be center stage
✦ Envious of other people’s accomplishments and will steal, lie, or sabotage others to get attention back to them
✦ Envious of other people’s possessions, they will put such ownership down or minimize it to make themselves look more noble
✦ Search for constant approval and praise to reinforce their false grandiose sense of self, they’re “on- stage,” dominating the conversation, often exaggerating their importance
✦ (Since the self is so fragile — an ever crumbling construction of their ego) — use power, money, status, looks, supposed past glories (or supposed future glories) to boost their image
✦ See criticism as baseless attacks or betrayal and countered with cold-shoulder anger or rage or chilly stares or verbal attack.
✦ Can never accept blame. Others are always to blame.
✦ Feel being center of attention is good, right, and proper
✦ Have a grandiose sense of self-importance
✦ Think they are special, God-touched, or privileged
✦ Think they can only be understood by other special or high-status people
✦ Have unreasonable expectation of favorable treatment
✦ Believe they are beyond the rules. Laws do not apply to them and remorse is only felt when someone catches and confronts them.
However they are upset over any inconveniences they suffer as a result of being busted. They believe they have the right to do what ever it takes to get short term gratification without suffering any consequences.” ~Lynne Namka
TYPICAL WAYS OPERATING OR REACTIONS (blaming, drama storms, etc.)
✦ High maintenance because they need your attention, praise, and deference
✦ Fake sweetness, honor, and good intentions, but deprive them of something they want and look out as they reveal their true selves.
✦ Express grand, exciting plans, but rarely can make them happen
✦ Blame others rather than take personal responsibility
✦ Lack of empathy colors everything they do.
✦ May say, “How are you?” when you meet, but they are not interested
✦ Their blame-shifting creates defensiveness. Then they belittle the defensiveness: “Why are you so angry?”
✦ Since they shift blame so well & seamlessly, your guilt/insecurity issues stay raw and over-sensitive.✦ Lend you a hand up, then subtlety cut off at the knees to keep you indebted & coming back.
✦ If you point out an error they made, they go into defensive mode counter any such notion with anger, venting, rage, cold-shoulder, or withdraw
✦ Give you a metaphorical rug & then keep pulling it out from under you
✦ They are: blowhards, braggarts, blusterers, brow-beaters, bullies, big-headed, and ultimately bogus.
✦ Help you gain certain skills/info/connections, but then forever make you feel beholden to them.
✦ Extremely skilled at making anyone under their influence crave their approval.
✦ Make you feel special & then emotional distance themselves in ways that keep you unsure of yourself.
✦ Use a judgmental “you’re OK”/”you’re not OK” yo-yoing to keep you off-balance & “blameworthy.”
✦ Groom people via manipulation (charm/rage combo) to sell their reality/rationalizations to others.
✦ Virtually all of their ideas or ways of behaving in a given situation are taken from others, people they know and perhaps think of as an authority.
✦ Their sense of self-importance and lack of empathy means that they will often interrupt the conversations of others.
✦ Expect others to do mundane things, since they feel too important to do them
✦ Constantly use of “I”, “me,” and “my” when they talk.
✦ Very rarely talk about their inner life, memories and dreams, for example.
✦ Lie, using subterfuge and deception as tools
✦ Are stuck in one level of maturity where growth is not an option
✦ Only have eyes for “me, myself, and I” instead of “we”
✦ Don’t understand empathy, except to fake it as a tool
✦ Play “Give to get” by being nice or helpful only to expect reciprocation
✦ Put on the air of “having it all together” and will not readily admit failure or weakness
✦ Jump to defensive mode readily and frequently
✦ May apologize, but it doesn’t mean a real change in behavior
✦ Run from their own problems rather than tackling them
✦ Demand your trust rather than being transparent and earning it
✦ See you as extensions of themselves and resist your freedom
✦ Create stories, euphemisms, sayings, definitions, rules they hold up as Truth. Their world is false.
✦ Must talk about themselves & be in control. They want you to just be an ego-stroking entity for them.
✦ Find personality weaknesses & exploit them as easily as you & I ride a bicycle.
✦ Will rarely listen to or respect your “No”
✦ Take advantage of others to reach his or her own goals
✦ Appear tough-minded or unemotional
✦ React to criticism with anger, blame-shifting, shaming or humiliating others
✦ Fail to recognize people’s emotions and feelings
✦ Exaggerate achievements, personal history or talents
✦ Are unpredictable in mood and behavior
✦ Become aggressive, hostile, verbally vicious, or withdraws when threatened
✦ Can vocalize regret for a short time when found out, but soon rationalizes it away
✦ Appearance is important, so primping or fastidiousness is common
✦ Withdraw or a cold shoulder is used as a tool to make you do what they want
✦ Rationalize everything to make sure they always come out on top
✦ Will steal an idea, quote, lesson plan, piece of wisdom — call it their own
✦ Groom underlings and create organizational or business environments to suit their need for ego stroking
“Crazymakers thrive on drama, and melodrama requires a sense of impending doom. Everything is an emergency, a deadline, a matter of life and death, or something they will get to eventually. Read ‘never’ … Nearly any situation can be cast as melodrama to support a crazymaker’s plot lines …
- “A crazymaker is someone who makes you crazy by constantly stirring up storms.
- “‘Normal’ doesn’t serve their need for power.
- “Everything is always their problem, but nothing is their fault.”
This is serious stuff folks and it IS a problem with in the personalities of the few who are the most decried for their strange, weird and ridiculous rules and behaviors for those who seem bent on sitting before them every Sabbath believing every word they can come up with and every title they can bless themselves with.
So what can YOU do? What steps can you take to protect yourself and family from such people and their behaviors? Realize it is much more difficult to resist, confront and put up boundaries between you and a minister type because it seems the minister has the weight and backing of the entire BIBLE behind him. He can show you dozens of scriptures where the "Men of God" were exactly the same way and thus imply that his behaviors are GOD behaviors or being just like Abraham, Moses or Paul. He may be right but not for the reasons he thinks. Resist anyway.
A couple examples of Diehl family ministerial resistance. A certain not to be named current COG minister of the Joshua type was my family pastor for a few short years. In Spokesman Club this minister was chiding the men for not learning their scripture cards and knowing them well. My dad raised his hand and pointed out that the men generally had five day a week jobs and family and did not have the time the minister may have had to devote to memorizing scripture cards. Uh oh....the Joshua like minister told my dad he would talk to him outside during the break. My dad said "no you won't." LOL. Love ya dad!
On another occasion, this Joshua type minister was informing my recently Deacon ordained brother in law , done so by the new minister that replaced the Joshua type minister, that had he thought my brother in law was deacon material HE would have ordained him when he was his pastor. Get ready....my brother in law looked at the Josh and said..."well ___________, (Josh), if I didn't think you had shit for brains, I'd care what you thought." Excellent! Josh went to the new minister but got nowhere. The new minister was Leslie Schmedes whom everyone just loved and was a kind and gentle spirit.
If you are going to stay, pay, pray and obey with such a man as this at the helm of your version of the One True Church at least take some advice on dealing with such men in your church lives.
Oh No You Didn’t Say That To Me…Dealing with the Adult BullyIf “the bully” is someone you call a friend, you must reassess the relationship and why you are in it. If you are being bullied by anyone within your definition of family or friends, seek help to remove yourself from the relationship
- Assess the relationship
Remember, you will not change another’s actions, only your reactions to them. Keep in mind you are able to be empathic. Understand that “the bully” is acting out of their own insecurities, fear and pain. It is not about you. It is about them.
- Ignore “the bully”
Set those boundaries and limits. Be clear, calm and firm. State the behavior you do not like and state what is expected instead. Remember, “the bully” will typically target people who do not stand up to him/her.
- Do not enable “the bully”
Be sure to monitor “the bully’ once you have defined boundaries. Often, this setting such limits and stating your disapproval can escalate the bully. Think about the young child who has a cookie each day after school. Suddenly you give him a carrot. What happens? Tantrums. Whenever we set boundaries with any dysfunctional relationship in our lives, the person may react badly. If “the bully” physically threatens you in any manner, seek help and report this to the authorities immediately. Remember, you are dealing with an emotionally challenged person who lacks social skills and impulse control.
- Be careful
Contact Dennis at DennisCDiehl@aol.com
I suppose my ultimate question to those who can admit, "this seems to be Mr ______'s behavior, why do you tolerate it? These types take your resources, mentally, emotionally and certainly physically all in the name of "doing the work," or "God's Government on earth at this time." That God's Government thing in the COG's has been the bane and ruin of many a sincere and believing member
ReplyDeleteDD (pad at work logs in funky)
Quote from "Good Fellas" applied to Myself (as Harry Hill speaking) and Dennis...
ReplyDelete"You know, we always called each other good fellas. Like you said to, uh, somebody, :You're gonna like this guy. He's all right. He's a good fella. He's one of us.: You understand? We were good fellas. Wiseguys.
But I , Joe Moeller, could never be made because I never went to Amabassador. It didn't even matter that my mother went to Ambassador. To become a member of a crew you've got to be a one hundred per cent Ambassador Grad. See, it's the highest honor they can give you. It means you belong to a family and crew and to be a minister. It means that nobody can F$#@ around with you.
It also means you could F$#@ around with anybody just as long as they aren't also an Ambassador Grad and a minister. It's like a license to steal. It's a license to do anything. As far as I was concerned when Dennis was being made, it was like I was being made. I would now have one of our own as a minister."
Joe Moeller
Cody, WY
This is good material, and accurate. The problem is the ministers' trump card. The way it has always been, is that members are told in so many words, "It's not us who are doing this. The unconverted mind cannot understand this concept, brethren, but this is God's government, and the way God works through his ministers. Therefore,you are going to eat shit, and you are going to like it. If you don't, the problem is not God, or God's ministers, but your own attitude. And, you had better fast and pray about it, or you may end up out of God's church, and on your way to the Lake of fire."
ReplyDeleteI have not been exposed to this type of church leadership since I've been involved in mainstream Christianity. That is partially because my son and others cautioned me that as you search for a church, you need to test the spirit of a church when you first walk through the door. If you get a bad feeling, that is not Satan trying to derail you, you need to pay attention because that is God's way of warning you that all may not be quite right, and maybe you need to keep on looking. This is actually our natural anti-cult warning or defense system. However, the cults seem to know when they are unappealing and toxic, so they often spike their message by dwelling strongly on teaching that they are God's one and only true church, and you can't get what they offer anywhere else.
The thing is, with a right heart, you can obtain spiritual guidance from the plethora of materials available to the modern Christian, including the latest well-researched study Bibles, and a wide variety of churches. None of them will be perfect, because none of them can. What counts is the attitude, the desire to learn about God, the transformation of the heart one receives, and the fruits which one bears. There is no reason why you should be trapped in a situation where someone's claim that they have a double portion of God's Spirit interferes with the ways in which you know that God's Spirit is working with your own mind or heart. This interference, or quenching, is the actual toll for this, the worst form of spiritual narcissism known to man, and it is potentially spiritually devastating.
My advice to those trapped under toxic leadership would be to rethink the premises of your spiritual program. Maybe God is trying to get a message to you that something better awaits.
BB
These ministers are smarter than the thieves on Wall Street. On Wall Street the SEC tries to hold them accountable. In a religion, no one can touch them. Religion, not Wall Street is the place to get really rich without the fear of imprisonment. Just watch TBN and see how well their techniques have been perfected. Have you seen Mike Murdock or Peter Popoff? Watch Popoff getting busted by James Randi on You Tube.
ReplyDeleteThe "cure" may be found at DNA Refutes British Israelism.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very large and insidious problem, not just restricted to the Cult of Herbert Armstrong: We all need to protect ourselves. Narcissists are vicious non humans (reference Without Conscience) who create havoc and leave us in chaos as no more than collateral damage -- we matter so little to them that they just don't care.
The major problem in the Cult of Herbert Armstrong is that we each became a narcissistic source. It's bad to be a narcissistic source, but as Mikey points out, it becomes a way of life to please your narcissist.
This is not the whole picture. Narcissists are terrible, but sociopaths and psychopaths are worse -- much worse.
Sociopaths are those who have "an adaptable conscience": Case in point, When your Minister is Goodfellow -- someone who has a set of value standards which have been adapted to the group. The Mafia is a perfect example, where there is a very powerful code that cannot be violated without extreme consequences within the group, but outside, murder, theft, extortion, prostitution is all OK according to the standards of the group because it's how they make their money. Ambassador graduates are an extreme example of this and the above entry from Joe Moeller should suffice: Those of us who are paying the Armstrongist Mafia godfathers dare not go against the AC graduates -- there will be hell to pay.
Worse, the CoHA is a fertile ground for psychopaths. It's dangerous out there. Your money and life are at stake. There's misery to be had by the truckload. The United ministers, for example, are into games. They know that British Israelism is a fraud but they play the game of "well, you explain how the United States and British became so great!". (Does that mean the Romans were the lost tribes of Israel because of the blessings because they had an empire.)
The thing is, it's all a con job. They lie to you and take your money, just as Paul Ray said.
Narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, cons and nutjobs.
Avoid them.
Explain your last couple of sentences and thoughts to me Joe. Is this a good thing or am I evil? lol
ReplyDeletedd
This made me chuckle, Dennis. I remember a few months back that you were ready to thow in the towel and quit writing. I told you at the time that you couldn't do it anymore than I can. It's compulsive with us because we care to damn much.
ReplyDeleteThe first thing I head for every morning after the bathroom is this computer. I bet it's the same with you. Breakfast can wait, along with the rest of the day. Gotta see what's on Facebook and share. Gotta express what comes to mind. We're both addicted and wouldn't have it any other way.
LOL Allen, correcto!!! Banned is my narci..supply..no wait..can't have that! When I told some former church friends I was going into massage therapy, they all said, "you'll never be able to shut up." I am doing pretty darn good with clients quiet in a dark room with swoozy music. I dread them asking.."So what did you used to do...?"
ReplyDeleteIf church comes up, I tell them I am "Non-Condemnational" That often gets a "Oh cute..." and it stops there.
Other clients, in the SC religious climate say, "I'll pick you up Sunday morning and you can come to church with us." doh!
One client assigned me ten minutes of Bible reading a day until she came back next month. I asked her if she'd like me to repeat whole chapters to her. lol
I agree BB. That's why it struck me the other day just where in all my own experience before WCG would I ever have come across a minister who was like a Flurry or Pack? The answer was never. They would have been fired in two minutes.
For those of you so inclined, Bart Ehrman's, "Forged--Writing in the Name of God/Why the Bible's Authors Are Not Who We Think They Are , is onsale in the Bargain Books rows for $6. Down from $30.
ReplyDelete(I know, some will say that's about what it's all it's worth, but I like 'ol Bart. He knows his stuff.)
DAY-um!
ReplyDeleteI thought if "yo mamma" went to AC and had her mind armstrongially F$#@'ed there (with a worthless degree to prove it), then that made one practically a made man!
I had a friend who was accepted to and went to AC. After 3 days he saw through the bullcrap and left.
Apparently, his reaction was, "fuggetaboutit!", to the chagrin of his parents who were in the WCG then and are in the crazy UCG armstrongist splinter today.
This enumeration of the traits of pathogenic narcissists (there is no other kind) so completely matches the personalities of the Armstrongs and their administrative and “theological” cohorts in both the originating Worldwide Church of Good and now in the several Armstrong wanna-be residue churches it makes me cringe. Lunch will not be pleasant today, pondering what I’ve read — and what I (and my then “unconverted” family) endured in my tragic 13 yrs in the WCG.
ReplyDeleteArmstrongism is a set of phony, contrived, ominous theological precepts that except for the resource-amassing narcissists in the clergy, produces only fears and tears. No joy. No happiness; just a pervading fear that the lowly revenue-providing member will never be as “good” as the local clergy. Do something wrong, and I get disfellowshipped and my eternal fate is sealed. I die a horrendous death by being cast alive into the Lake of Fire. Who knows what will happen to my wife and kids when they will be kept off the airplane destined to the desert of Jordan and the Place of Safety, just before the Germans start exploding thermonuclear bombs in American cities. I live out in the countryside, so my family will die a lingering and horrible death following the German/Nazi conquest of the USA.
As a teenager in the late 60s, I became entranced with the smooth, authoritative and persuasive (dare I say, narcissistic) broadcasts of Garner Ted Armstrong. Now there was a radio voice that Told the Truth — the Plain Truth.
Today, I am every grateful that I was allowed to escape out the back door of the diminishing WCG in 1995. I rejoined the local Presbyterian Church, where my wife and kids attended, and found no narcissism in the clergy there. Instead, I found the authentic love of Christ, real hope, real support, and actual spiritual joy. The authenticity of the Trinity, and salvation solely by Grace, continues to allow me to try to wash away all of the horrible memories of Armstrongism. My family paid a horrendous price for me trying to avoid both the Germans and the Lake of Fire, and many of those wounds will never heal. The tears and fears persist, but not to the degree when week after week I sat alone in a folding chair in an obscure rental hall, listening to the “God’s ministers” tell me what the future was going to be like, and how I had “get my act together” to avoid the soon-coming tribulations. Because I was now baptized, and “knew the Truth,” there was nothing I could do but pay my tithes, attend the services and feasts (without my family), watch what I ate, study the selected Armstrong verses of Bible, and hope for the best.
What a horrendous life, thankfully no longer so ominous. Today, I pray to the real Christ, knowing that his Grace so transcends the contrived and phony doctrines of Armstrongism that I still wonder if even God’s Grace can cover my former Armstrong delusions. It can, of course, but the psychological wounds and spiritual infections of Armstrongism are deep and pervading. What a fearful fool I was. What a hopeful future I now have with the Real Christ and a real Church (there a many).
Pray for those yet deluded and ensnared by Armstrongism. Satan and his demons have delighted in that heresy from the day Herbert Armstrong first imagined himself to be everything he never was.
Anon said (10:17) that there is "no joy" in the C of G. Isn't that what Paul noticed in the Galatian church when he asked, "What has happened to your joy?" Isn't that a fruit of the Spirit? Did you see much real joy at AC? I certainly didn't from 71-73.
ReplyDeleteAwesome testimony, Anon 10:17. Glad you are free and on the road to healing, and I appreciate your sharing!
ReplyDeleteBB
For those who care, the Bible itself gives the profile of narcissists:
ReplyDelete2 Timothy 3:1-4 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
That certainly describes the narcissists spawned by the Radio Church of God (well, duh! Radio Church of God -- that should have been a dead giveaway, but we were still agrarian back then, easily conned by some city slicker).
The advice of Scripture?
2 Timothy 3:5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
Which is why my #2 personal law is avoid narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, cons and nutjobs.
The Apostle concludes as almost an afterthought:
2 Timothy 3:6-7 For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth..
It could be the minister 'dating' the widows while his wife dies of cancer.
Like Sigmund Freud, there seem to be problems with the Apostle Paul, but he often does have good observations about humanity. In this case, he seems to have great insight (probably from personal experience with narcissists).
For those of you who still hold out hope, no, there is no 'cure' for narcissism, particularly because they don't see anything wrong with themselves and like themselves just as they are.
You have three choices:
1) stay with them and be doomed;
2) have the power and make them suffer for their narcissism because all they understand is superior power;
3) walk away with them (and while you are at it, take your money with you -- that will probably do the most harm you can possibly do to them).
Dennis asked: Explain your last couple of sentences and thoughts to me Joe. Is this a good thing or am I evil? lol
ReplyDeletedd
Answer: Dennis, no, you were indeed once part of the COG Mafia, whether you meant to be or not. You were indeed a "Made Man" at the time.
However, you are now worth knowing for you have turned 'State's Evidence" and are now in the "Witness Protection Program" here at BANNED.
Consider me an inside undercover informer at present.
Luv,
Joe Moeller
Cody, WY
Gotcha Joe, as long as no one says, "Hey Dennis, we're having a reunion in a corn field and we'd like ya to come..." lol No baseball bats allowed!
ReplyDelete"The problem is the ministers' trump card. The way it has always been, is that members are told in so many words, 'It's not us who are doing this. The unconverted mind cannot understand this concept, brethren, but this is God's government, and the way God works through his ministers. Therefore, you are going to eat shit, and you are going to like it. If you don't, the problem is not God, or God's ministers, but your own attitude. And, you had better fast and pray about it, or you may end up out of God's church, and on your way to the Lake of fire.'"
ReplyDeleteThanks to BB for this bit of honest clarity.
This has been the logic of abuse in Armstrongism since before I had the misfortune of having been born into it. This is the way it always was in WCG, and it is obviously logic invented by HWA. It's softer or harsher these days variously in this splinter or that splinter, but you can still find the legacy of this logic throughout Armstrongism, from top to bottom.
Treat your minister like he's a cop. Treat him with contempt!
ReplyDeleteYour minister is just a Saturday costumed criminal with nothing to offer but a beatdown when you step out of line with him!
UCG ministers are part of the "COG Mafia"...
ReplyDeleteNo?
Did they change their stripes?
I appreciate the kudo, Head Usher! Sometimes I tend to be explicit, (for the sake of clarity), and I hope that my usage of an old English word didn't offend some of our more sensitive readers in this case.
ReplyDeleteBB
Yep I remember HWA always going on about competition vs cooperation. And waddaya know?!? His entire example was one of competition against other churches (eg Catholics, Protestants, COG7D, which he offensively put down as "false Christians"), other biblical experts (eg Christian writers throughout history who he'd disparage as "unconverted"), even his own family (eg GTA who he excommunicated b/c HWA saw him as a threat!)!!! He sure made himself out to be "the Boss" and his own cult and college as "God's church" or "God's college" but it had nothing to do with the God of the Bible. HWA was the (false!) "God" he was referring to!!
ReplyDelete