The Philadelphia Church of God, lead by Gerald Flurry, has a bad reputation of isolating its membership from the tainted world around them. Because Flurry believes he is the final Elijah and numerous other incarnations he believes he is the sole bearer of all truth. That "truth" is a precious think only worthy of the ears of his dwindling flock of deceived followers.
Because of Flurry's autocratic reign of fear, his members are threatened with expulsion from the Kingdom of God if they dare question him in anything. With his recent edicts that PCG members are to break all ties with exCOG members and family members, the cult has further isolated itself. This has led to slim pickings for singles in the PCG to date and find potential spouses.
The "men" at headquarters came up with a great idea for PCG singles. They can date online! No matter here you are in the world you can find a date. You can go on walks "together." Watch movies "together." Touch finger tips on screen together. The amazing potential is endless!
A student at Herbert W Armstrong "college" writes:
My first online date was accomplished while I was parked in front of a McDonald’s. I am glad I already knew my date well, because this date would have made a bad first impression. Since the restaurant was crowded, I spent the time in an uncomfortable car. The Internet connection broke down a couple of times; my friend could barely understand me, and I was very tired.
Its truly sickening to see what Armstrongism has done to the minds young people still trapped in the cult to the point they think this is normal.When the spring holy days came, I managed to schedule my first online date with a single from the list. I prepared questions beforehand to make sure I would have enough to talk about for one hour. I was afraid she wouldn’t understand my accent or my poor pronunciation, but the date went very well! This single girl and I are now very good friends, and we will both be in the freshman class at Herbert W. Armstrong College this fall!
Many online dates followed after this one, and throughout my experience I have learned how wonderful God’s way of dating is. It is inspiring to think about how God forms His Family with one mind. Whether they live in America, South Africa, Europe or Australia, all have one thing in common: God is working with them! The more widely I dated, the more my thinking stayed on course and the less I would focus on one person. Dating widely turned out to be a lot of fun. I realized how wonderful it is to speak with each other about prophecy, to speak about content on pcog.org and theTrumpet.com, to go for a walk and even to make music together.
I was shocked to realize that most had never had an online date before I asked them. I wonder why. Many of those single women were eager to reply and willingly worked with me to schedule an online date. Whether it was late in the middle of the night or very early in the morning, it didn’t matter: The online date was wonderful, inspiring and motivating. Often I heard that I moved them “to think more deeply,” that “iron sharpened iron,” or simply that they enjoyed it a lot. I know that these dates shaped me to be a more open, creative and joyful person. Most importantly, I learned that the more I tried to get out of my comfort zone, the more blessed I was to receive so many wonderful, well-worded, inspiring, motivating, encouraging, funny and uplifting e-mails.
Reading this, I feel enormous sadness knowing the amount of pain, loneliness and frustration these individuals will face as a result of following the toxic instructions fed to them.
ReplyDeleteIt really is heart-breaking. I hope they wake up and get out before all of their youth is squandered.
This is my advice to any single that is still enslaved in one of the COG's. Leave your stupid ass religion and find the most compatable mate you can from the large pool of singles in the "real world" !!!
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful! . . . Yecch!
ReplyDeleteThese poor fools don't realize that they've been sealed up in the ultimate misery-loves-company arrangement. What can they talk about? Future plans? No, because it's all coming to end soon -- no one makes plans (certainly not for a long career in a profession and - horrors! - retirement!).
Do they discuss the virtues shown by people who somehow STILL believe in the prophecies even though they've been moved back how many times? Do they pat each other on the back for their steadfastness?
The writer quoted reminds me so much of the world of singles (read: people God hasn't blessed nearly as much) as it was in the WCG of yore. Now it's set in stone in the tidy little world of Flurry-dumb.
"Single" is still inferior there, I'm sure. They must need to find something for them to do, since they certainly don't qualify for anything important. (After all, they're SINGLE - less blessed!)
If that is "God's" way of dating, I'm pretty sure Satan is Gerald Flurry's actual god!
ReplyDeleteAccording to Darrel Ray, the highest rate of divorce is among evangelical Christians. The lowest rate of divorce is among atheists. I don't know if there are any stats on the rate of divorce in the COG's but it wouldn't surprise me if it was at least as high as the evangelicals or maybe higher.
ReplyDeleteA big part of the reason for that would be COG people settling for a mate from such a small group of singles results in them settling for someone that is not very compatable with them.
Also as with evangelicals they believe that if Jesus is in are marriage, ("God" if your a COG member) we can handle anything.
I think that Atheists have less of a divorce rate because they have a more realistic view of relationships and tend to be more open minded to compromise to settle disputes that may arise.
Time to bring back "Jim Lange" and the "DATING GAME" , but this time as a globally podcasted affair for PCG singles!
ReplyDeleteCould go something like this...
Welcome to another exciting episode of THE D-A-T-I-N-G G-A-M-E! I’m Jim Lame, your host for the PCG Dating Game. In just a moment you will meet a young lady who will have the opportunity to choose one lucky man for a fabulous Philadelphian Marriage, based only on their answers to her questions. But, first let’s meet our bachelors. And HEEEEEEEE-RE THEY ARRRRRRRR-RE!
(Bachelors ENTER STAGE LEFT in order 1-3 and each stand in front of their stools.)
JIM: Bachelor number one, please tell us your name and where you’re from.
BACH. 1: My name is Joey and I’m from Detroit and I have read Malachi's Message 14 times, and I give ALL of my money to Mr. Flurry
JIM: Thank you, Joey. Please take your seat. Bachelor number two?
BACH. 2: Hello, Jim. My name is Jesse. I’m originally from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania and Im divorced from a Laodicean. I left my disabled son at the subway station according to directives from Mr. Flurry.
JIM: Bachelor number three, please tell us your name and where you’re from.
BACH. 3: I’m Danny. I’m from Gods Earthly Headquarters in Edmond Oklahoma, and I tweeze the dichondra on the campus and polish the brass fixtures there at Gods Auditorium, and I gave my fathers entire $750k estate to "The Work" after he died from a curable medical disease.
JIM: (To the audience) Now, let’s bring out our bachelorette. Please welcome…from Sacramento, California…Peggy Inneed.
Peggy: Im afraid Jim that we can go straight to the conclusion here because Mr. Davis has already arranged my marriage partner, and has approval from Stephen and Gerald Flurry to do so. I "accept" his decision , I therefore take Bachelor #3.
BACH. 3: (Comes out to greet Peggy) Peggy, it is your faith that has brought me here. (holds her trembling hand)
PEGGY: Wow, you are so much different than I imagined. Suddenly I feel…I feel really SUICIDAL!
BACH. 3: I have that affect on people.
JIM: And now, Johnny will tell us about the fabulous date you won.
ANNOUNCER: Peggy and Danny, the producers of the PCG Dating Game are going to send you out on a date you will never forget. Your day will start with a tour of Gods Auditorium. Yes, that’s right, the HWA Auditorium . America’s playground. Lunch served at the buffet cafeteria in the student center with Kosher approved foods. You heard me right, Godly quality kosher. You will also tour the HWA "Prayer Rock" and get to meet the Elijah, Gerald Flurry himself, where he will present you with an autographed "6 pack" and signed edition of the "Missing Dimension in Sex". Congratulations, Peggy and Danny and thanks for playing the Dating Game.
JIM: Thank you to all our triple tithing coworkers and our audience. Good night, everyone. Until next time…
(Play theme song and throw kisses on the screens)
(All blow a kiss to the audience. Wave good-bye as all EXIT STAGE RIGHT)
(Fade song after all have exited and LIGHTS OUT)
"I think that Atheists have less of a divorce rate because they have a more realistic view of relationships and tend to be more open minded to compromise to settle disputes that may arise."
ReplyDeleteYES.
I know two people who were dating, but were in different COG splinters. When they decided to get more serious, the guy demanded that she quit her splinter (started by her uncle) and go 100% with his. She was of the opinion that they could split time attending with his preferred splinter, and her family's church. But he was unwilling to compromise. So that was that. At least it happened before they got married. But the more fundy a person is, the more closed their mind is, and the smaller the areas which are open to compromise. And let's face it, the COG world has always been pretty fundy.
This is a Band Aid. Considering the meager size of the congregations, and the graying demographic, the fact that Flurry's people have been threatened with disfellowshipment if they have children (too close to the end), their day to day world is almost reminiscent of the Diary of Anne Frank.
ReplyDeleteSomeone is obviously trying to put a positive spin on PCG church dating, based on some of the modern youth trends.
It isn't going to work in any substantial way. To really get to know a person, you need to see how they live, to get to know how they react to life's situations, handle problems, and treat others. Basically, the only way to thrive in Flurry's church is to convince yourself that Flurry is Elvis and life is just one big fried peanut butter and banana sandwich.
They're going down. In about ten years, when the Germans still haven't arrived, there is going to be massive disillusionment over the baby ban.
BB
Anon July 24, 2014 at 5:05 P who wrote the dating game,
ReplyDeleteExcellent, most excellent! Thank you for that humor!
ReplyDelete"PCG Cult Member Shocked That People Do Not Date Online Since It Is God's Wonderful Way Of Dating"
Will the entire online date need an online chaperone from headquarters or just a local online voyeur, and will it have to be recorded and e-mailed to PCG cult headquarters for analysis?
I was SHOCKED by the PCG's old offline way of dating, which was truly Satan's disgusting way.
Online dating will drive some of those filthy old PCG women crazy when they find out that they cannot actually physically get their filthy old hands all over younger single guys a fraction of their own age. Of course, some local PCG pervert will still get to decide which filthy old woman or dirty old man certain younger people (but NOT their own children) MUST date to avoid getting expelled from the PCG and accused of not appreciating all the many old PCG sex perverts' numerous attempts to "help" them.
James and all:
ReplyDeleteI wrote the Dating Game spoof, and for some reason, the system did not identify me! I spent two hours on that stupid post, so Im taking credit now! LOL!...
Time to bring back "Jim Lange" and the "DATING GAME" , but this time as a globally podcasted affair for PCG singles!
Could go something like this...
Welcome to another exciting episode of THE D-A-T-I-N-G G-A-M-E! I’m Jim Lame, your host for the PCG Dating Game. In just a moment you will meet a young lady who will have the opportunity to choose one lucky man for a fabulous Philadelphian Marriage, based only on their answers to her questions. But, first let’s meet our bachelors. And HEEEEEEEE-RE THEY ARRRRRRRR-RE!
(Bachelors ENTER STAGE LEFT in order 1-3 and each stand in front of their stools.)
JIM: Bachelor number one, please tell us your name and where you’re from.
BACH. 1: My name is Joey and I’m from Detroit and I have read Malachi's Message 14 times, and I give ALL of my money to Mr. Flurry
JIM: Thank you, Joey. Please take your seat. Bachelor number two?
BACH. 2: Hello, Jim. My name is Jesse. I’m originally from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania and Im divorced from a Laodicean. I left my disabled son at the subway station according to directives from Mr. Flurry.
JIM: Bachelor number three, please tell us your name and where you’re from.
BACH. 3: I’m Danny. I’m from Gods Earthly Headquarters in Edmond Oklahoma, and I tweeze the dichondra on the campus and polish the brass fixtures there at Gods Auditorium, and I gave my fathers entire $750k estate to "The Work" after he died from a curable medical disease.
JIM: (To the audience) Now, let’s bring out our bachelorette. Please welcome…from Sacramento, California…Peggy Inneed.
Peggy: Im afraid Jim that we can go straight to the conclusion here because Mr. Davis has already arranged my marriage partner, and has approval from Stephen and Gerald Flurry to do so. I "accept" his decision , I therefore take Bachelor #3.
BACH. 3: (Comes out to greet Peggy) Peggy, it is your faith that has brought me here. (holds her trembling hand)
PEGGY: Wow, you are so much different than I imagined. Suddenly I feel…I feel really SUICIDAL!
BACH. 3: I have that affect on people.
JIM: And now, Johnny will tell us about the fabulous date you won.
ANNOUNCER: Peggy and Danny, the producers of the PCG Dating Game are going to send you out on a date you will never forget. Your day will start with a tour of Gods Auditorium. Yes, that’s right, the HWA Auditorium . America’s playground. Lunch served at the buffet cafeteria in the student center with Kosher approved foods. You heard me right, Godly quality kosher. You will also tour the HWA "Prayer Rock" and get to meet the Elijah, Gerald Flurry himself, where he will present you with an autographed "6 pack" and signed edition of the "Missing Dimension in Sex". Congratulations, Peggy and Danny and thanks for playing the Dating Game.
JIM: Thank you to all our triple tithing coworkers and our audience. Good night, everyone. Until next time…
(Play theme song and throw kisses on the screens)
(All blow a kiss to the audience. Wave good-bye as all EXIT STAGE RIGHT)
(Fade song after all have exited and LIGHTS OUT)
WOW, they've made great strides. When I was there, you couldn't even talk to someone on the phone.
ReplyDelete...And what did he mean by
"I already knew my date well"
Wow.
ReplyDeleteWhat's described there isn't so much dating as it is controlled affirmation of the PCG. Even with these "online dates" they still can only talk about "prophecy"?
For some reason I keep thinking of Jerome's story of elderly John, being carried into the congregation at Ephesus, only saying "Love one another" (and when questioned, saying "it is the Lord's command, and if it is done, it is enough").
ReplyDelete"Remember the two trees"? No.
"YOu are some of the same putrid, stinking, rotten waste..." No.
"There are other Israelites in Breton" No.
"The ten nation or groups of nations beast is coming within the next ten to fifteen years of your life..." No.
Reeks of desperation.
ReplyDeleteOnline dating in this context is just plain silly.
It's a great way for PCG psychopaths to prey on their victims.
Really!! They can't have children?
ReplyDeleteFlurry also has an aging membership and young people are leaving because they can only date the nerds that remain in his church.
Will the last person to leave please turn off the lights.
"Will the last person to leave please turn off the lights."
ReplyDeleteWill the last person to leave (the one with the keys) just hurry up and shoo the laggards out the door so he can turn off the lights, lock up behind him, and leave already?
This is a stunning surprise to me - because I thought COG's were against online dating websites.
ReplyDeleteBut at least PCG isn't taking the ultimate step - doing its own matchmaking with mass weddings, like the Unification Church does.
Alas people within PCG like this writer do not realize they are just being used. They are being indoctrinated to keep themselves isolated from the rest of the world in order to make less likely that they will defect and more susceptible to be controlled by those above them within PCG.
ReplyDeletePerhaps this would be a good time to remember what Flurry wrote in the 2003 version of his booklet, The King of the South:
"Here we see a small group of people with a God-sized message. The whole world should heed today. But most people won’t become converted until Christ returns—which is probably within 10 to 15 years or less. (p. 43.)"
This was written in 2003. In the current version this passage is on page 47.
So Flurry said here that Christ would return within 2013 to 2018 or earlier. So Flurry is definitely telling his followers that the Tribulation will soon come.
>>BACH. 1: My name is Joey and I’m from Detroit and I have read Malachi's Message 14 times, and I give ALL of my money to Mr. Flurry<<
ReplyDeleteI have read Malachi's Message twice. First the 1990 version. Then the current 2008 version.
Here are some parts I found quite intriguing and revealing.
***
"A big part of the work of the Philadelphians is helping
God separate the Laodiceans from the Philadelphians (Malachi 3:17). This should not take very long—but it will be painful! Very painful! In some cases it will break up families. God knew it would happen (Luke 14:26-27)." (Chapter 9, p. 136.)
That section is present in the 1990 version. It would seem even in 1990 Flurry had a strange fixation on getting his followers to separate from Laodiceans.
***
Flurry also condemned WCG for giving money to disaster relief charity.
"Dr. Ward explained how the WCG is changing its views about giving to hurricane and other disaster funds. This goes deeper than just giving to disaster victims—who do need help. This is a changing of the Church’s commission established by Christ—through Mr. Armstrong. Instead of spending money to warn the people why disasters are happening, the WCG helps them financially. Soon the world will be literally flooded with disasters! God will bring it to pass as punishment. Tithes and offerings will be spent in vain if they continue this approach." (Chapter 6, p. 92.)
My word! If you ever get in trouble PCG won't help you, it would seem to appear. Flurry also condemned such aid from WCG in the 1990 version so he had this negative attitude since he started PCG.
***
I was shocked to learn that PCG actually teaches that the 144,000 are the Laodiceans.
"God tells us they are going into the Tribulation. The Laodiceans will die and be officially and permanently sealed after the 21/2-year Tribulation. Therefore we can see that 144,000 of God’s people receive their salvation through the Tribulation experience—and death." (Chapter 3, p. 43.)
Imagine that: PCG members are ordered to shun the 144,000 (the Laodiceans according to PCG dogma).
***
No wonder PCG has gone off the rails of decency so badly.
Gee. If you insert your penis into your daughter, does that qualify you as a Laodicean or as a Philadelphian? How about downing a sixer on a college campus? What about manipulating people out of their subsistence through false dates? How do you get sealed after that???
ReplyDeleteHow many Jews got sealed, or had their belief strengthened through the holocaust? Somebody be jivin' folks!
BB
Connie, if you spent two hours on that post, then you have way too much spare time on your hands.
ReplyDeleteThis computer thing. I don't know if everybody realizes it, but you can Google your address from perhaps some of the homes in which you grew up or lived in, and get a full 360 degree rotation, a still shot virtual tour of your old neighborhood. I like this.
ReplyDeleteHowever, how long will it be before this becomes a live camera feed, one in which observers for whatever purpose can watch real time activity anywhere within the civilized areas of the planet? That type of invasion of privacy could be scary, depending upon the good or bad intent of the observer.
BB
To Redfox712: The truth of the matter is...stay in the PCG and they will make you a Laodicean.
ReplyDelete