Dave is so theologically brilliant the the Bible is now equivalent to children's story books.
A strange thing is happening, brethren. And I’m going to show you some more absolutel fascinating things later. It’s almost as though, now, I have reached a point where so many things have opened up—that I’ve battled for half a century—that the Bible, almost is like reading McGuffey’s Readers—“See Spot run.” I mean…I open things up now and it just talks in a clear way. I’m going to stun you later…Maybe not any more than making Haggai 2:7 and Revelation 11:18 compatible…or maybe, not necessarily any more than explaining verses about the resurrection of the dead and how they come and when they come…maybe not any more than that, but because of the eminence of the things I’m going to describe later, I know that will stun you in a powerful way. You can be sort of the judge of what stuns you more than anything else in all of this.Dave then makes the claim that he takes all of his new understanding to his inner circle of elite ministers and asks them what they think. Is he really stupid enough to think that any of them would ever disagree with him? They don't. They are all "yes men" who will validate anything Dave comes up with, even though deep down they know it is a load of manure.
I sometimes sit with all the ministers, and I will show them a whole bunch of things I have learned, because I kind of want to see what they think, and we come to agreement. I do that always. I never just come up here. I could, but I choose not to. I don’t think it would be wise to just come up here without having talked to a lot of men that I greatly respect, who are deeply converted, have a lot of God’s Spirit. We sit for hours and go through these things. And so, I’ll often say, at the end of sessions…I did it a couple times this week…with some of what we’re covering here, as a matter of fact…What grabs you most? What do you find the most fascinating? And you get different answers. They don’t all say the same thing—they all believe all parts of it—but they may react to or find a certain part is more visceral with them or punches them or exhilarates them…you can be “punched” with things that are exciting.
Yeah, well reading MAD MAGAZINE makes more sense to me than Packs Crud!
ReplyDelete"I don’t think it would be wise to just come up here without having talked to a lot of men that I greatly respect, who are deeply converted, have a lot of God’s Spirit."
ReplyDeleteThis was the same bunch of greatly respected yes men who, in 2013, came up with NOT ONE reason the prophecy was off "this year".... "of even one."
Had one actually come up with a few reasons Dave was off, he'd immediately end up on the outside looking in and demon possessed.
Why Unification now?
Dave Pack
"15) Next, for those who will see the value of how to pursue spiritual matters, there is this: After fervently seeking God about it, not one reason the prophecy is off this year ever emerged in the minds of even one of our 16 Headquarters ministers! I (we) have NEVER prayed about, studied over, meditated on, fasted about and counseled with other ministers regarding a subject more than this one—in fact no other subject is even close!"
If Jim Parsons leaves The Big Bang Theory, Dave could replace him. He's hiwawious!
ReplyDeleteDave C Pack, the Grand Poobah of Bibliomancy, the art of receiving divine guidance by opening the Bible at random, sticking in a finger, and reading the verse so discovered, as if it was all about him.
ReplyDeleteKeep punching away!
DBP
Pack doesn't pay any closer attention to first grade readers than he does the Bible. The line "See Spot run" comes from the first book in the "Dick and Jane" series, not a McGuffey reader.
ReplyDeleteConnie, thanks for mentioning MAD MAGAZINE. I read it faithfully in high school and give it partial credit for developing my sense of irony, which is the thing that gave me the will to resist the pervasive earnestness that would otherwise have smothered me during those two semesters at Ambassador.
You may not agree, but that silly magazine also makes more sense than anything Armstrong said or wrote.
Pack doesn't pay any closer attention to first grade readers than he does the Bible. The line "See Spot run" comes from the first book in the "Dick and Jane" series, not a McGuffey reader.
ReplyDeleteConnie, thanks for mentioning MAD MAGAZINE. I read it faithfully in high school and give it partial credit for developing my sense of irony, which is the thing that gave me the will to resist the pervasive earnestness that would otherwise have smothered me during those two semesters at Ambassador.
You may not agree, but that silly magazine also makes more sense than anything Armstrong said or wrote.
Dave is beginning to behave like the crazy leader (played by the late Marlon Brando) in the Apocalypse Now movie. It sounds as if he is psychologically molesting his ministers. The poor bastards have my sympathy.
ReplyDelete