How many times have we heard people share horror stories of abuse in the church and then someone pops up and said it never happened that way and if it did then the abused person was somehow culpable.
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did...
You deserved it.
A Narcissist's Prayer
This reminds me of the original owner of the Painful Truth blog. His wife was sick and a simple medical procedure would have cured her. But they was told by the minister that God would heal. So she died from the resulting lack of treatment. I read most of the several hundred comments posted on this. Just about every comment blamed the husband rather than the church or the minister. I recall one poster writing that it was the couples responsibility to check this teaching in the bible. How many members even in their old age can, using their bible, pick the flaw in this teaching?
ReplyDeleteThis blaming the victim is what one will experience if abuse is ever mentioned in the church. People need to brace themselves for this ugly reaction.
How many time have you ever heard those who are Apostles and men of repute, so called, utter the words, "I was wrong and mistaken", "I am so sorry", "Please forgive me/us", "How can we make this better?"
ReplyDeleteVery few. It was not the Armstrong or Tkach way for sure and seems impossible for the Flurry, Pack, Thiel, Malm and all other types. Thinking one speaks for God blinds them to understanding they don't and not every word or demand out of their sacred profane mouths is inspired. Mostly none of it is.
Accepting responsibility for mistakes, pain inflicted or poor judgement is liberating. Acting like it's never you eats like a cancer and will end badly.
Dave Pack is the current most obvious example of the inability to say "I was mustslen." "Nothing to see here" is about the nest he can do. Rarely has one man been so wrong, so often and so totally as Dave has been and will continue to be. Narcissism and religious delusions means never having to say I'm sorry
ReplyDeleteDennis, both of us have learned the liberating power of saying we were wrong, that we're sorry for the mistaken things we've done, written and said. I lay it all on the dumbness of youth, and I'm not going to try to somehow make it true after all. That's true repentance.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read this post I immediately thought of Dennis.
ReplyDeleteHis excuses for hurting people in the past - not his fault.
It wasn't really his fault that he enforced Armstrongism while he let his kids go swimming on Friday nights and celebrated their birthdays.
He didn't really mean it and would have celebrated your birthday too, had you been more deserving, instead of being that Armstrong sycophant he really never was.
All you deserve now is that Dennis bless you with the wisdom he's learned through his experiences.
He wants to help you now just as he did when you both were in the COG.