Regrets: No Unringing the Bell

While many a famous person at the end of their careers usually sings a round of "Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention,"  I think they have to be kidding themselves.  They really haven't had just a few regrets.  They are usually drunk when they start singing that. We all do it our way because it is us doing it and life lived long enough brings many regrets.

On the other hand, I might rewrite it to be "Regrets, I've had a bunch. And then again, too many to mention."  Much of that regret is not doing it my way at all but rather doing it the ways others told me I should and must do it, whatever it was.  On Banned, we all get reminded of our religious choices of the past and regrets.

In religion, HWA and the WCG told me to do it their way.  And I did.  I choose to do it their way because I thought that somehow and in some way, ( I was very young) they had an inside line to God and truth and I was really doing it God's way  (I did come to hate religious folk substitution "I did it God's way" for the actual lyrics however. ). God and truth were topics that interested me at a very early age and the hook was easily set . I wanted to be a church pastor long before I heard of WCG. I wanted to know what the Bible had to say, who Jesus was and what was the meaning of it all.  You could not have talked me out it.  I had to do that to myself after years of observing, thinking, study and deciding that I would be better off making my own choices from now on.

But now time has past, water has gone under many bridges and the hindsight of age leaves me, and I assume everyone, many regrets in life on many topics.  Banned, of course, is for us who regret our doctrinal and church choices as members and ministers and somehow find a sadistic pleasure in following those still stuck in it and especially those who think they have inherited the leadership positions they evidently craved in times gone by and now have an open shot at.

I could list several dozen personal regrets as could we all but when it's all said and done, life teaches us that fires go out, water seeks its own level and lessons, for whatever reasons, are noted.  That's probably about the best one can do with regrets.  We can take new paths, learn what we wished had known long ago and keep moving ahead with our lives older and wiser.  But we can't unring the bells of past choices and simply have to put regrets in whatever perspective helps us the most.

Not doing so can kill us from all directions and in many ways.

I found this observation long ago and find it so very true if you get to live long enough.

When I was young, mountains were just mountains and rivers were just rivers

But then  I was told that mountains are not just mountains and rivers are not just rivers.

But when I was old, mountains indeed were just mountains and rivers were just rivers

This speaks volumes to me of my own personal WCG/Member/Minister experience.  Nothing was a big deal when I was young until someone came along and convinced me that everything was a big deal only to learn years later that I was right. Nothing is a big deal after all.  

Mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health has to be directly related to how we process regrets.  I have learned that if I wait around for everyone to like, forgive , put up with or agree with me is probably going to take a very long time and actually will never happen. So it is with us all I suspect.  Fortunately, I no longer have that as criteria for healthy living. I do still wince over the term "Ministurd" but sooth myself knowing that others were "Memberturds" so it all works out. LOL

Eckhart Tolle said "All negativity is some form of non-acceptance.  Anytime you  find yourself being negative, ask yourself what is it you are not accepting."  I can't find any fault with this observation.  It is how it works.  Regrets are like this.  They produce a lot of negativity when they stir us up but in the final analysis simply must be accepted as a part of the show.  Yelling and screaming that something that is already past and over with probably qualifies as insanity. Thus the simple reality of "what is...is," or was may be the best course to take.

When I did was a paramedic for a diversionary hobby my last years of ministry, I saw some  gruesome stuff. My first call came in as a "precipitous birth" meaning if I helped deliver a baby I'd get a Stork Pin. Someone screwed up and when we got there it was chaos. A teen had walked into the living room, spun the cylinder on a pistol, looked to see the bullet wasn't really in the chamber and told the family to watch this.  He did not know cylinders rotated one last time. He was dead before he hit the floor but we had to work as if he wasn't.   I did learn I could get to without passing out and do what needed to be done.  I could never help what happened. But I could help what happened next. Well not for him. 

And so it is with bells that can't be unrung and regrets now past. 

Whatcha think?