I don't care whether people love me or not. I do not believe that that's the problem in HWAs church splinters. All I care about is people not harming me by respecting my rights. What's in peoples hearts is between them and God, but if people respect my right to life, liberty, my property rights, my right to freedom of expression, my right to choose my own beliefs, my right to be free from abuse, my right to privacy, my right to be left alone etc, I' m satisfied.
Not surprising, rights are taboo in these splinters.
Not surprising, rights are taboo in these splinters.
Church Member Bill of Rights
The following are basic human, religious and spiritual rights any person has as a member of any and all religious organizations or church congregations.
You have the right to expect the church to keep your personal contributions private and should be able to expect that any who deal with such things for accounting purposes will do the same.
You have the right to expect that your membership in any church or congregation is not contingent on how much you give or do not give. You should also expect that jobs, positions, opportunities or offices are not given based on the amount anyone gives to the church.
You have the right to say I can only give this even if it is not a tithe of your income gross or net.
You have the right not to be spiritually judged or have your loyalty or sincerity questioned based on what you are able or unable to give financially to the church.
You have the right to ask a Pastor if he checks tithes and offerings for any of the above reasons before giving to a church.
You have the right to say "I'm tired and won't be there, " to any and all activities, plays, fundraisers, studies, seminars, prayer groups, rehearsals, practices and sermons.
You have the right to say "I don't care about that."
You have the right to question the advice, counsel or sermon of any minister, elder, deacon or any other person in authority.
You have the right to question authority and to still expect to be allowed to attend your church.
You have the right to question a minister who declares himself one or both of the Two Witnesses of Revelation, a Prophet, the Supreme Watcher of Mankind for God, The Only True Apostle in this Age and any other title or position he can come up with to impress you as to why you need to support him.
You have the right to suggest a pastor get spiritual or psychological help should the need arise. You have the right tell him that the congregation is noticing a trend here.
You have the right to ask why the church believes what it does when the Bible might say otherwise, or why the Bible says something that the church practices that seems scary, weird, inappropriate for this time, out of date or controlling.
You have the right to notice that ministers often quote scriptures out of context or fail to enforce or address the rest of the story that does not agree with the point they are trying to make.
You have the right to ask all the "how can that be," "how could that happen," "why does it say this here and that there," questions you can come up and expect an intelligent answer. If you are told that you are using human reasoning, ask the pastor what kind of reasoning he uses. If he says "God's," find another church.
You have the right to not want elders, deacons or your friends accompanying the minister on visits to your home to talk to you.
You have the right to discuss or not discuss your life with the minister as you see fit.
You have the right to expect absolute confidentiality and for your story not to show up in the sermon next week, even though "I won't say the name."
You have a right to be called ahead of time when the pastor wants to ask about stopping over.
You have the right, when he calls to say, "I'm tired," "I'm busy," "No, but I appreciate the call," without repercussions.
You have the right to keep a dirty home, grass not mowed perfectly, an older car, red in color and kids that don't say "yes sir, nice to see you sir," in just the right way.
You have the right to watch and read what you wish even if the pastor just got done bashing that particular program, movie or book from the pulpit in his sermon on "Demons in Your Home--Six Ways to Assure Your Eternal Death."
You have the right to ask the pastor not to call on you at work, even if you own the business.
You have the right to say, "I can't afford to take you to lunch." "I can't afford to give you free wood or brick." "I can't afford to fix your house up free," "I can't fix all your teeth," to your pastor should he expect professional courtesies, even if he offers to do your funeral free.
You have a right to expect free use of your church for weddings and funerals.
You have the right to expect these usages are not dependent on you, your parents or children living a sinless life six months prior to the date of the event.
You have the right not to answer questions your pastor may ask you or your children about your sexual practices. If he insists, then insist that you all share together.
You have the right to not let the pastor inform you as to who you can and cannot date or marry.
You have the right to enjoy your sexuality free of church or pastoral approval. Something that is wrong for the pastor is not necessarily wrong for you in how you express yourself to your partner. There is no Bible prohibition against....well you know. And if there were, you'd have the right to disagree with that too.
You have the right to not share which or if you are taking medications of any sort with the pastor.
You have the right to take such medication and not be judged as having a lack of faith or trust in God to heal you.
You have the right to seek professional help without informing your Pastor of the nature of the help and you have the right to not be helped solely by the pastor under threat of repercussions.
You have the right to insist the pastor get professional help should the need arise and the man is causing more harm than good.
You have the right to remind him that God does not directly speak to him nor express His will only through the mind of the pastor and that makes you uncomfortable if he thinks that is so.
You have the right to be wrong about a many things.
You have the right to believe you are correct about many things without repercussions.
You have the right not to care about everything that others think you must care about to be a good Christian.
You have the right to tell the pastor he is wrong, mistaken or exaggerating.
You have the right to dress as you wish, wear the jewelry you wish and make up you wish or not wish without being labeled a whore or a goody goody.
You have the right to feel that dressing as if it was still 1957 and only watching Disney Movies or How the West Was Won as proof of your pureness is baloney
. You have the right to not be told that the best times for entertainment, movies and TV was when the Pastor was a boy. You have the right to like the food he does not like and to not like the foods he does.
You have the right to like the schools he doesn't and not like the ones he does.
You have the right not to bear your soul to the ministers wife.
You have the right to like or not like, agree or not agree with the ministers wife.
You have the right to not view the world through the pastor's eyes morally or politically. You have the right to hate the war while he believes the war in Iraq is God's will and thinks it's all in the Bible.
You have the right to expect him to speak clearly where he thinks the Bible speaks for us today and to walk slowly and drink cool water where it doesn't.
You have the right to tell the pastor that that is his opinion and not necessarily the only true opinion on earth.
You have the right for you, your children, your partner and your friends to be themselves.
You have the right to read whatever you wish to read
And too...Since two wrongs don't make a right, you are allowed to point out one or more than three times where you feel the pastor's sermon or booklet was a bit off the track.
And too...Since two wrongs don't make a right, you are allowed to point out one or more than three times where you feel the pastor's sermon or booklet was a bit off the track.
These are but a few of the rights any member of any Church, congregation or religious organization has. In short, you have the right to not be required to check your brains, your insights, your perspectives and your free will at the door to be welcome and a member of any church.
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Dennis wrote: You have the right to not want elders, deacons or your friends accompanying the minister on visits to your home to talk to you.
ReplyDeleteMY COMMENT: A minister should NOT ever visit a woman alone at her home, and should be accompanied by someone, preferably his wife.
Isn’t one of the ways in which humans show love respecting one another’s rights?
ReplyDeleteI understand that concept but my point was many in my past did not want their friends in the congregation accompaning the minister and hearing their personal things. The minister was temporary. The friends ever present
ReplyDeleteDennis and Connie:
ReplyDeleteI would agree with Connie 100 percent. In fact:
When a male minister talks with a female member, (OR attendee), it should be done in an open area, such as a restaurant over coffee - WITH or WITHOUT an elder. If the reasons are sensitive and privacy is an absolute must, Connie is right that the minister's wife should be present every time. If the minister is not married, then he should not be qualified to counsel her on marital issues. A married elder should be the one who does the counseling - both man AND wife. This is the ethical thing to do. This is why the different roles of pastor is essential in today's ministries.
ALSO. If a minister is counseling a Youth, either the parent should be in the session with the pastor and the youth, or the session should take place in an open area. If it is a sensitive subject, then it should NEVER be facilitated alone. At least two should be present at all times. (This is why many churches have trained Youth Pastors these days - they are required to be "in the know" on state, local, and federal regulations - as well as have passed background checks, and the special training needed to counsel teenagers.)
Many ministries today have such rules in place (and many more) for the Church members AND for the pastor's protection. I would be suspicious of any COG pastor who would disagree with such simple and needed precautions. Small size is NOT an excuse! Though I would agree with Dennis that there are certain rights that members should not be afraid to exercise, let's use common sense of safety and security for all in this generation.
Don't wanna rain on your parade but I've sat through sermons blasting and condemning people who think they have rights. I kid you not.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Connie, I remember one minister in WCG that always gave me the creeps and I never allowed him near me if my husband wasn't around.
ReplyDelete11.45 AM
ReplyDeleteThe belief of ministers and bullies is that they have all rights, while other people have none. Hence their claim that rights don't really exist or are inherently evil is a lie they tell their victims. They know rights exist, and are extremely vindictive if any of their rights are violated.
7.16 AM
Don't people show love by respecting others rights? That assumes that people understand rights. As 11.45 AM points out, people are often ignorant or deceived about rights.
When I was in WCG I never invited my local minister to my home, if I needed to talk to him, which was rather rare, we would meet a coffee house. As far as rights go, I hardly ever let anybody at church know my personal life outside church because I felt it wasn't anyone's business.
ReplyDeleteAnon 1:58, I never had any friends within Worldwide church. I have always been a private person and the people I attended church with were simply church associates and nothing more.
DeleteYou've got a right to chicken done right!
ReplyDeleteCol Sanders
Perhaps I was unclear on having the right not to have your friends dragged along by the minister to fill the spot of that perhaps a wife is not available for or even a deacon or elder etc. Many have complained that the minister would take "warm bodies" on visits to not be visiting alone etc. It was the warm body friends that the minister was including in their in home, private discussions they took exception to. I merely meant people had the right not to have the "unqualified" or warm body types, who are friends at church included in personal matters just because the minister has no one else to go with him.
ReplyDeleteI am not speaking about visiting women alone or teens without parents etc.