It's time.
With the recent, ironic to me and tragic death of my sister and a few other realities that came calling, I have come to realize it's time to move on. When the student is ready, the teach will come and all that.
Fifteen years of messy, painful and costly transitions are enough. The losses have been great and the consequences of my own decisions in life are ever with me.
I've gotten my life and mind up into the present which is all there really is and that's something for me as a minister who soaked in two and three thousand year old texts, as if they knew and "prophecy come alive", again, as if they knew, taking me into another's vision of the future. Neither location is real and not places to spend one's real time, the present, in our short lives.
Our regrets give credence to this being so.
What inspires my life? This does...
It's been a trip. The stages of grief played out in full and ending now in acceptance of what now is what is the most healthy for me to recognize.
Thank you all for allowing me to get to know you, your stories and perspectives. Thank you for listening to mine and while we may all have come to different places in our journey out what I have seen as pious convictions based on marginal information, it's in the sharing and compassion for the experiences of each and not the agreeing we find our common ground.
Thank you Gary for giving me a place to process my journey as member, minister and man and for exposing us all to the experiences of others. We'll say in touch of course.
I am at peace here in Portland and have come full circle now in my journey into and out of the WCG. My best wishes to ALL of us. I have learned much from you and hope that in someway you have learned something of value from myself and the interests I put on hold or was simply in denial over when towing the party line of religion...
Live, Laugh, Love
I'm content with these things being so and as they are. It is truly amazing and, to me, of much greater inspiration than having to live with all of you guys in the Wonderful World Tomorrow LOL :)
Don't miss your actual life ...
My favorite "scripture"
“Sit down before fact as a little child, be prepared to give up every preconceived notion, follow humbly wherever and to whatever abysses nature leads, or you shall learn nothing”
Thomas Henry Huxley
Thank you once again and may peace go with you all in your continuing journeys.
Everything gets smaller and insignificant the further you step back away. What fills the void between yourself and the object as you step back is determined by you for the most part. It sounds as if you have been doing a pretty good job of filling that void.
ReplyDeleteContinued peace to you and thanks for the writings - many of which have overloaded this old brain of mine.
WATT
One of the great things about Banned, is that contributions were welcomed from every corner of the Spectrum of Belief/Non-Belief, without prejudice. Your writings reflect just one path of many out of our collective journey. They provoked thought, were brutal in their honesty, and reflected the strong character of a former preacher who just wanted to do the right thing in a land of wolves and lions. As rare as that was in the landscape of WCG ministry, it shone like a jewel. Many who were fortunate to have your pastorate are grateful. And many here who have read your posts - despite agreement or disagreement - have embraced you as part of Banned.
ReplyDeleteFreedom of expression is a beautiful thing. I'm certain that if you ever choose to write here again, we'll read, we'll all be glued to our screens, enjoying your honesty and opinion just as if you'd never left.
-SHT
the present which is all there really is
ReplyDeleteYou know better than this, Dennis. Your astronomy posts make it clear. The present is a tiny blip in a multi-trillion-year (and more) mystery. Yes, we can only live in the present, but if we are not informed by the past and mindful of the future we will miss out on so much, and while doing so will make ourselves more vulnerable to those who want to feed us their version of the past in order to control our present.
So, sure, cut WAY back on the time you spend on this board. But please do hang around a bit, as your presence helps current ACOG members recognize that there are myriad workable life-ways outside of the ACOG world.
It has been good reading your posts here on BANNED. I hope you have a great life and always enjoy the life The Lord has givin' you.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your sister. Nothing hits harder than the loss of someone so close to you. You've been a great help to me and many other searchers trying to get our heads screwed on straight, and I, for one, really appreciate you. I hope you will continue to write thoughtful things occasionally.
ReplyDeleteAh Hell. Dennis tries to go away, but, alas, he's frozen here just like the rest of us. So, don't worry folks! this is just "so long for a while".
ReplyDeleteOne of the great things about Banned, is that contributions were welcomed from every corner of the Spectrum of Belief/Non-Belief, without prejudice.
ReplyDeleteNot really, unless you're a progressive trapped in the fake objectivity of the media and the wishful-thinking of the deluded mob.
Everything one believes is eventuality challenged. It was refreshing for Dennis to do so in a respectful manner. Just like Star Treks Jean-Luc Picard.
ReplyDeleteDon't jump off a bridge or anything.
Man, I had been watching Aretha Franklins life celebration for hours.
ReplyDeleteThen Dennis's message pops up that "he is going home". It freaked the sht out of me. Don't do that again friend.
Now I am in state of denial.
Who is going to tell us that the ice dam at Lake Agassiz broke in Canada causing massive floodings in the North Sea, breaking into the Mediterrenean, then the Black Sea and the Indian Ocean to rise, inspiring Noahs Flood stories worldwide? Who will stand beside me observing the remaining farmers migrate into Europe?
Who is going to viciously attack me when I look at the Forrest Gump video you posted and comment with a cheshires cat grin on my face, that the person who actually trained the "running across america runner portrayed by Gump, was our very own Harry Schneider.
We will be anticipating Dennis's second coming on Banned as I remain as the local WCG Forest Gump here, waxing in nostalgia about a time that never was, but could have been, because of people like Dennis.
Nck
Tom Hanks brother, Jim Hanks, was his double in the wide shot running scenes. They used him to get his distinctive way of running.
ReplyDeleteglad to hear it Dennis...I've been concerned about you for some time....this site only prolonged your pain.
ReplyDeletemove on, get on with your life.....and DON'T LOOK BACK....focus on the future and enjoy life.
Dennis, thank you for all your thoughtful observations. You have always offered mind-expanding perspectives that have done me a world of good.
ReplyDeleteDennis, I have appreciated your directness, your intellectual honesty, your sensitivity, your intelligence, your humor, and your courage. Obviously you have had decades of struggle and need to set it down and live in the moment. All the best for you is what i wish.
ReplyDelete6:52
ReplyDeleteI am talking "the real thing" not movies this time. Harry Sneider encouraged Vietnam Vet Bob Wieland to race America on his knuckles.
As "coming home" is the theme.
Nck
Unsure ... Does this mean we are done hearing from Dennis?
ReplyDeleteGhastly!!! No Dennis???
ReplyDeleteAll the best wishes to you, Dennis! I have always enjoyed reading your thought-provoking posts, and the times we have spoken on the phone.
Sincerely,
Richard
At some point, we all eventually realize that none of this really matters any more. Sometimes, in trying to help others to understand, we end up just fanning flames in ourselves that really want to die out. I get that, but it has also seemed like an appropriate, worthy, and necessary sacrifice. I have often realized that I was much happier back in the 1980s and ‘90s at a point in my life when I rarely thought of Armstrongism except for the rare handful of occasions when I was exposed to my parents who were still part and parcel of it all.
ReplyDeleteOne of the many things I’ve learned from living is that everything has shelf-life. Any vibrant person just cannot sustain max level passion for any given thing indefinitely, whether it’s a hobby, a marriage, a friendship, a career, a type of music, a philosophy, or a possession. We just become comfortable for a while with those things with which we have surrounded ourselves, at the same time becoming challenged by all of the things around us which are constantly changing. That is the nature of our existence and education on planet Earth, and I believe, is intentional because it is the process that keeps us constantly seeking and engaged in life.
It’s been fun having you be part of the discussions of the past decades. There are any number of vigorous participants of the past who have contributed, presumably derived their therapy while doing so, and then we stopped hearing from them as they inevitably went on with their lives. Hope the balance of your life is a good one!
Happy Trails,
BB
I really think Dennis won't be able to stay away for good anymore than I can. I sometimes get fed up with the closed mindedness of people who are ACOGers and wonder why I bother commenting. Then, I just have to do so. It's kind of a compulsion. I care too much not to be active on here once in awhile.
ReplyDeleteOne really cool thing about Portland and the Willamette Valley is that climate scientists have identified it as being one of the best places to go to to avoid the effects of global climate change. In addition to its outstanding natural protections, city government has in place a long-term plan for carbon reduction. So, knowing what we know about the next 100 years, Dennis lives in one of the most desirable areas of the country.
ReplyDeleteBelief perseverance is tough to overcome, especially if one has invested a lot into the belief system. In the case of the WCG, many gave their wealth, suffered for lack of medical care, did without the education that they could have benefited from and some have even seen loved ones die. How does one admit that they are wrong when they no only brought upon themselves and others such hardships and tragedies but also did so with such arrogance, looking down upon other "so-called Christians"? No, many just have to hold onto railing until the ship goes under.
ReplyDeleteTake care Dennis,
ReplyDeleteI see you as a kind,loving person. It would have been nice to have known you back when I attended services years ago. People probably enjoy being around you. Keep on being a good example.
I discovered several ex-WCG blogs about 11/12 years ago after leaving the "main branch" for less than 7 years. I was a second generationer and raised in the WCG from a child. After leaving, I put it all away, had nothing more to do with anything church, or so I thought. One blog led to another and I found myself remembering stuff I went through that were truly forgotten. Sometimes I felt like I was going a little crazy, how could I have suppressed so many memories? But I did. Sometimes, I had to stop for months at a time, reading stuff here in Banned. Memories invoked here were painful. But come back I did, and the process became more tolerable. I have appreciated reading Dennis's stuff, nothing for nothing, he's a survivor too. Whatever brought us all to the WCG, and then had us leave, is personal, and no one can take that voyage away. It's a process, and I'm happy that Dennis has reached that part in his life that he doesn't need to beat the dead dog anymore. Cheers Dennis!
ReplyDelete