A Quiver Full of Munchkins
I just wanted, and perhaps needed to take advantage of my privilege here on Banned of writing when and what I wish and honor Karen Diehl at this difficult time for her. Karen has been diagnosed with Fourth Stage Glioblastoma and is in hospice care at my son's home. Grateful that he works teaching Culinary School out of his home and that his wife is a nurse so Karen is well watched over and cared for. For their kindness and compassion for their mom, I thank both my boys and their beautiful families.
I honor her here because of her life associated with the Worldwide Church of God and ultimately the ministry back in our days together. She grew up in the Church from a child and her family was old stock WCG in Texas.
She and I met, of course, at AC and gladly went with me into all the World as a "minister's wife." I and the Church dragged her from Minneapolis to Chicago to Findlay and Mansfield Ohio to London, Somerset and Middlesboro, Kentucky to Binghamton and Corning, NY to Greenville, South Carolina where it all ended for both of us. It was a hell of journey and she never complained.
Karen was the perfect host and could not do enough for those in need in the Church. She was and is loved by many for her hospitality and loving support in whatever you needed. I thank her and honor her for decades of living a "ministerial life" that so often was drama, trauma, scandal and upheaval compliments of the Armstrongs, Wacko Ministers in adjacent church areas and the Tkaches. Ok, and me.
Karen is unable to talk much now and her reading skills are gone. She can't think of the right words and when I was with her a few weeks back we had a good laugh when I asked her if she wanted lunch and she said, "Yes, a nice salad maybe with kitchen cabinets" She looked at me and said, "That wasn't right was it?" and we laughed. I sent her flowers last week and my son said she was puzzled because it was not the Night to Be Much Remembered. Since last week she has is fast losing her mobility. I sense that it won't be long before she does not recognize us.
In our time together sitting alone and talking in her backyard, she told me she was sorry that my original reason for coming to Portland didn't work out. I didn't know she knew that. She said that she hoped I would find someone in life again. I just looked at her with tears in my eyes wondering just how difficult that was for her to say that and just how much water had gone under our shared bridge. It's just how she is. Of late she speaks to me as if we are still married and she uses the same terms of endearment with me that she always did.
All this to say thank you to a fine woman who put up with so much, not only in the ministry of the Wildworld Church of God but in her youth growing up in it. I suppose I should honor her as well for putting up with me and how I handled my own disillusionment with not only the WCG and the Ministry but also with all of religion and my own personal issues that come up in life. She maintains a deep faith still and yet I know she is scared and anxious about all of this as anyone would be, faith not withstanding.
And I wish to honor and thank my two sons for also moving on in their lives successfully, after so pretty scary times, with beautiful families and their ongoing love and support of mom as this illness moves on to it's conclusion.
So thank you Karen for who you are and for all we put you through as "minister's wife." I honor you for all you are and ever have been. You made my life better while the church went out of its way to make our life worse. You are loved by many for the love you showed through the years. The good thing is that had we not been sent last to South Carolina, not one of those beautiful kids would exist to carry on …
Thanks Gary for letting me participate in Banned to where I can write freely about that which actually reflects my experiences , observations and outcomes of my own journey in the Worldwide Church of God as student, member and pastor .
LIVE, LAUGH and LOVE
Life is short
Thanks for listening
Dennis,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your heartfelt post. It is not just touching; it is a reminder that even the most screwed-up churches also consist of networks of loving human relationships. I know, for instance, of many people who to this day remain deeply grateful for the loving outreach and concern shown by Barbara Flurry. We can only guess at the dynamic between her and her husband in private, but as with Loma Armstrong there seems to be wide agreement that Barbara was a moderating influence on her megalomaniacal husband. Similarly, Margie McNair Meredith was beloved even by many who could not stand her husband. She certainly wasn't the "Queen Bee" type (as were Sheryl Meredith and Eve McNair by many accounts). Would Gerald Waterhouse have been softened (and made more concise) by the loving input of a wife? We can only speculate. But we can know, thanks to your kind words, that Karen Diehl and her former husband Dennis are two wonderful people, even if they weren't meant to be one wonderful couple.
Awesome tribute Dennis.
ReplyDeleteKevin McMillen
I just lost my wife 3 months ago and she and Karen shared many of the same traits. I actually told her a couple of days before she passed away that her normal way of thinking and being was to believe it was her responsibility to walk into any room and seek those who were part of the wallpaper and make them feel better.
ReplyDeleteIn actuality, I also told her that she usually went into the same room feeling she wasn’t even noticed.... In fact, she was likely the best regarded and most popular.
Dennis, my heart goes out to you family during this very difficult time.
Don't know the right words to say - but we all are with you and Karen.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely beautiful tribute. Thank you for sharing with all of us, and our hearts and minds are with you through this journey.
ReplyDeleteThank you all for your very kind words and sharing as well of your own experiences and perceptions of them. While Karen and I were sitting alone on the patio talking, I found out later one of the boys took a picture through the door noting "that's not something we've seen in a long time." That got to me of course.
ReplyDeleteWhen it's all said and done, I do reflect a lot on my experiences because if you don't, what's the point of having them? Ultimately, my view is that we are all just people, doing, believing, learning and trying to get through all the emotions, doubts, disappointments, rages, hurts and dis-ease that comes with the human experience. It's just easier when its merely news about others we don't actually know or are in our own circle of influence or family.
Someone once told me "Well Dennis, you know YOU write your own script before incarnating" to which I said, "Then I am going to make a rule that next time, there be no drinking, because I had to be drunk to write this one!" On the other hand, who knows what other script was out there on the road not taken.
Anyway, it's a reflective time for me but then reflecting is what I do whether it on theology, science or how the hell is this or that going to work out. I suspect many here know exactly what I mean.
Well, I do have a tendency to pontificate, go long etc and my On and On Anonymous Class is coming up so there is hope :) Thanks again
Den
Dennis: May her final days be peaceful and pain free. My sympathy and concern for all of you.
ReplyDelete"I know, for instance, of many people who to this day remain deeply grateful for the loving outreach and concern shown by Barbara Flurry."
ReplyDeleteIn the PCG you have to pay a lot of lip service to anyone in the ministry and their wives. I thought she was obnoxious myself.
In the ACOGs, some members are more equal than others. Tributes would never appear about members would disagreed with the ministers or stood up for their rights. Same with prayer requests.
ReplyDeleteThat was a lovely tribute, Dennis. Thank you for sharing it with us.
ReplyDeleteI hope that she spends her last days surrounded by this same love and peace of her family.
Thank you Dennis, for sharing another chapter of your life with us. I am sure you will weather another difficult season with courage and love. Your loving words expressed to Karen and your boys was beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThe beautiful aspect to this story is reunion with a lost love, the primary lost love of one’s life. I’m reminded of the 1981 film, Windwalker, one of my favorite movies of all times. Love transcends life and death. Keep doing what you are doing, Dennis. You are in the middle of a sad but ultimately triumphant journey!
ReplyDeleteBB
Thanks for sharing, Dennis. There is much I respect and admire about you, even though we've never met in person, but we have talked on the phone. Having endured an ended Worldwide marriage, I can appreciate a little more what you have and are going through.
ReplyDeleteDennis & Family:
ReplyDeleteMy condolences to you all. Know fairly what you feel. My dearly departed (we had 50+) years
together. She suffered with consequences +++ of a stroke for over 6 years before she had her last big one that did her in. Just 1 year, 1 month & 1/2 ago. You are not alone with this, as I'm not either. yes, "the sun will shine tomorrow" though the sky is dark & gloomy today.
Thankfully we have, like you, GOOD memories to soften the pain. My best to you & yours.
In God's eyes, you still are married.
ReplyDelete