Churches of God have got a whopper of a problem, now that Burger King has unleashed it's "Unhappy Meals". Especially because of some of the names of its meals.
Two of Burger King's newly named meals are bound to cause their angst to become flame-broiled - especially the "Pissed Meal" and the "DGAF" meal.
You can almost hear the dress shoes clacking their way to a McDonalds' now, can't you?
"I can't have the word 'Pissed' on that cardboard box in my house", one was rumored to have thought.
"Do you know what the 'F' in DQAF means? It's just GHASTLY!" Another was rumored to have said.
"It's sowing division, frankly", a prominent COG Pastor didn't say. "It's unacceptable. This could definitely keep you out of the Kingdom if you buy these boxes", he didn't conclude.
When it was pointed out that they simply could tape off the offending verbiage, the prominent COG Pastor was rumored to become even more rageful.
"That's defacing and vandalizing property! You can't do that" He allegedly yelled.
"You own it now, it's private property, you can do whatever you want!", This journalist was rumored to have said.
"I'd never buy something with those words on it!" He allegedly shouted with zeal.
The prominent COG Pastor then allegedly wrote a sermon for the next Sabbath:
"How The Persecution of the Church by a Restaurant Foretells Bible Prophecy".
Apparently something about the love of many going cold, or the reference to flame-broiled meaning Gehenna Fire, or something....
(relax people, it is only satire, though Bob will take it personally)
LOL I can see Butthurt Bob getting all red-faced right now.
ReplyDeleteWhen we consider the numbers of disgruntled employees in the fast food industry, I would be wary of ordering a "pissed meal" out of concern that some angry meal-assembler decided to take it literally.
ReplyDeleteTruth be told... marketing that is low life and bad. I predict that this Burger King campaign will end with poor results.
ReplyDeleteIn related news, the United Church of God, seeking yet another way to compromise with the world, has updated an old Dwight Armstrong hymn:
ReplyDeleteLet All Nations Hail Burger King!
Too funny! Restaurant eating has always been very dicey for those practicing the dietary laws of the Old Testament. Restaurants don’t have separate grills or cutting and grinding tools for clean and unclean meats. And they don’t wash these after each usage. So, if you eat in a non-kosher restaurant, you are most definitely getting a little oink in your food. How little is lethal? Consider the miracle behind the Festival of Dedication (Hanukkah). Maybe that’s why HWA didn’t have us celebrate it, even though Jesus did! (John 10:22-23)
ReplyDeleteBB
Some of us in the church boycotted Burger King years ago for another reason - its "Sometimes you've just gotta break the rules" slogan.
ReplyDeleteNow THAT'S COG-ungodly!
Is it just me, or does that photo look like a young Steve Myers?
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteRead the book called Dying for a Hamburger (copyright 2004) by Dr. Murray Waldman and Marjorie Lamb.
You might lose all interest in eating low-quality burgers from fast food joints.
DQAF
ReplyDeleteDairy Queen as f--- ?
I don't care what these crackpot ministers say I'm gonna Have it my way !
ReplyDelete5:11
ReplyDeleteMy bad. DGAF.
The 'love of many going cold' is a natural reaction. This verse was and is frequently pulled out by ministers to try to suppress the consequences of their own abusive, lording ways. This amounts to demanding that members fake reality, a bully characteristic.
ReplyDeleteThe thrust of Christ's message was a call to repentance. Many ministers reject this and war against the natural consequences of their own sins. King David attempted this approach in order to cover up committing adultery with Bathsheba. We all know how that ended.