Herbert Armstrong's Tangled Web of Corrupt Leaders

Thursday, May 27, 2021

Ridiculous, Self Serving and Inappropriate Sermons Church of God Pastors and Apostles Might Better Leave Alone

 


...IN SERMONS I SAT THROUGH 
(Let's save in personal counseling for now or we'll be here all month)

As reported in an article in Your Church magazine, 55 percent of pastors can identify one or more topics on which they would not preach at all or only sparingly, because the sermon could negatively affect their hearers' willingness to attend church in the future. 

Among them are:

Politics - 38 percent

Homosexuality - 23 percent

Abortion - 18 percent

Same-sex marriage - 17 percent

War - 17 percent

Women's role in church and home - 13 percent

The doctrine of election - 13 percent

Hell - 7 percent

Money - 3 percent

Adding  to these, there are topics, unique to Church of God Apostles, Prophets, Elijah's, Zerubbabel's, Presiding Types and pastors that should never be preached but unfortunately they often do. 

British Israelism

Book of Revelation  as you see it

The Seven Church Era's 

Places of Safety

God will heal you

God will heal you if...

The evils of modern medicine

Marriage and sex

How to have a happy marriage

Personal finances

Acceptable sex

Unacceptable sex

Topics that are generally understood as none of your business

Why you should counsel with the ministry and not professionals

Why the ministry knows more than professionals in your time of need

Why, if the ministry or you make a mistake, God will let you know and not them. 

Why mistakes by leadership aren't really mistakes

Tithing will open the windows of heaven for you, so send it in

If you leave this church you may as well put a gun to your head

Wives must submit to their husbands in all things except if she is in the church and then half of everything is hers to give to the church no matter what unconverted papa thinks. 

"You people....."  

How you do things as if that's how they should do things to

Any stupid topic about yourself that takes 300 sermons over years that are obviously and unambiguously lies and 100% wrong. 

Why you were right when you weren't

Why the math is still exactly right when it isn't

Any sermon you give with math in it.  

Who you think you are as spoken of in the scriptures (But for sure not)

How you finagled your title as Apostle, Prophet or Elijah reincarnated without even trying or credentials

How smart you are and how your parents taught you the rules of logic when obviously you weren't listening and they didn't.  (A favorite credential of Dave Pack) 

Church history and Biblical inerrancy as if you understand it without having studied it

Dogmatic opinions on anything you know little about in fact

Anything you haven't studied outside of the booklet you wrote or the one your church offers

Why you are building this campus and bought this jet because Jesus is coming on Tuesday. 

God wants us to have fine things

Why Jesus needed this campus so he'd have a place to return to

Once you send it in it is not for you to decide how I use it. 

Why your ways are not God's ways or especially my ways

Why my son will take over the church in the unlikely event of my death before Jesus comes. 

This or that was a miracle in your church

I had a dream and it means ___________

I had another dream even better

Anything above a Cat 2 Hurricane is for sure God trying to tell us something

Bad weather is God sent because it says so in the Old Testament 

Your personal dietary beliefs. 

Your personal beliefs

Checking with the ministry on big decisions

Checking with the ministry on small decisions

Checking with the ministry first

Checking with me first. 

You can sure tell Jesus is about to return for sure 

Church Government and Pastoral authority over the congregation

WE only understand___________

WE did not understand but now you do. (again)

You must, you should, you better____________

Why you need garage and bake sale proceeds to be sent in

Willing your estate to the Church

What is for sure going to happen and when

Why you were still right when you were dead wrong

Medical advice and supplements you don't believe in and what you do believe more in. 

We won't die. Rather WE shall be changed.

What you think you know about how it all is in the world and what's "really" going on

Special revelations you feel you have received from God personally. 

World news proves the Jesus is coming soon

"This Generation shall not pass" means ours

We for sure are living in the end times

Politics that you like

Conspiracies that suit your personality and insecurities

Politicians that you like

Politicians  you don't like

Denominations you don't like

How wrong every other church is compared to yours

How the Jews don't even understand their own Book.

The Plain Truth rather than the Present one. 

Evolution as if you know

Why science is a religion

Why science takes faith too

Satan is out to get us and we will be persecuted so it's not us or me attracting it

Send it in again

I had another dream....

And yes brethren, I am an Apostle

And yes brethren, I am a Prophet

Ok, lets send in more. 

Your turn....




17 comments:

  1. Here are some more.........

    Why three times are not seven feasts

    Why it’s impossible for Passover to be a non-pilgrimage feast and DUB a separate pilgrimage feast

    How Sunday cannot be a third day from two days

    Historical tithing accounts by men are not laws

    There is no law, never was, commanding tithing to the Melchisidec Priesthood

    How plain!

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  2. Two or Three letter Initials for everything! There were perhaps over 100 of them!

    Examples... COG, WCG, FOT, CGI, RCM, HWA, GTA, DUB, G2, 2T, 3T, 1T, PCG, DCP, NTBMO, and many more!

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  3. Any sermon on church government, church eras, primacy of Peter,or mystery of the ages should be met with the congregation getting up and walking our.

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  4. Ha Dennis! You've been gone too long. You assume they are still writing their own sermons??? Ha ha ! Control has exceeding even your day Dennis. Think about it.

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  5. so I guess the only sermons allowed are "peace, love, and group hugs"?

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  6. 105 Yes, you are probably correct. These types of sermons and statements are still currently the kinds of things Dave Pack, Gerald Flurry and Robert Thiel sermonize or express to their followers. I do realize most of the more balanced , if that's the correct word, COG's put time limits on sermons which force being more to the point and less time for personal wandering. Many Church pastors in the COGs to this day still don't understand the human attention span or the discipline of giving sermons.

    Even towards the end of my time when I was giving FOT sermons, they started to assign topics to speakers which was annoying and the topics quite shallow. I was assigned "The Wonderful World Tomorrow" if you can believe that. That meant to me not to talk about the topics I was much better at talking about but were outside their boxes etc. My last sermon at the FOT was on the conflict and drama between the beliefs of Peter, James and John as Jewish Christian Apostles and The Apostle Paul and that they were not on the same page in the least (surprise I should speak of this right? lol). The NT drama matched the current WCG drama so I felt that might at least show there is nothing new under that sun. Dave Albert, my Epistles teacher, was in charge of the Feast there and after the sermon saw him making a beeline towards me. Uh oh...the end is near! It wasn't. He said he had never seen the NT in that light and we had to go to dinner to talk more about it. Whew!

    However recently, a couple of months ago, I went through Dave's hometown in Oregon and asked if I could stop by and say hi. The answer was No. Not interested. So times change.

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  7. Anonymous Anonymous said...
    so I guess the only sermons allowed are "peace, love, and group hugs"?
    ============================================
    No, of course not. However they should not be about the kinds of things listed , in my view and experience, and in the view and experience of just about everyone else who has to endure them. Mainline Christian churches with an educated clergy do not assign themselves biblical titles and such nonsense we have seen in the past WCG and some current splinters. Evangelical Bible literalists are in a category of their own and in my experience in the South can be just as off base. Just turn on the radio. But whether there is an actually educated clergy is subject to opinion in this realm. Most of the "Dr" so and so's come from their own denominational settings with precious little exposure to the higher criticism issues taught in more credible places who deal with Church history, church politic, textural and historical and higher criticism and errancy issues. Faith often refuses facts and faith restrictions the taking in of new and better information as it upsets long established dogma in particular denominations.

    I've noted in the past how many non-WCG and well trained pastors and priests have admitted to me that an educated pastor is 50 years ahead of the congregation in their view of all things Biblical but not to be spoken of as either their job will be gone or their congregation will be.

    WCG and the splinters theological problems and topics not worth speaking about tends to stem with their reliance and fascination with the Old Testament as opposed to the New. We should know that without the Old Testament affixed to the New, the New would make no sense and could not exist. The NT plays off the OT. Whether it should is an issue. From the OT COG splinters draw on Bronze Age issues and perspectives. Bob Thiel does this often every time there bad weather. He digs up every quote on God uses bad weather to "try to get our attention." That made sense to Bronze and Iron Age folk and believers in Baal the Storm God. It is ridiculous today. No mainline honestly theologically educated pastor would utter such words or hold such a view. He'd not last long either. Evangelicals? Yes.

    So the skill is the education and wisdom to know what is something that promotes being a "helper of their joy" and does not present a false picture of reality both in the world and in scripture.

    Fools think they can divine the future and the current mind of God and tell everyone what they think they know as if it is some kind of reality and truth they need to inform their lives with. Prophecy is a fake motivator but very effective in drawing the gullible or even hopeful into the fold. The most "successful" pastors and televangelists are those who just make shit up, inflict their personality disorders on the unsuspecting and say it loudly as if they knew. Unfortunately it works.

    So yeah, I Corinthians 13 on faith, hope and love is not a bad way to go as whoever wrote it, maybe Paul and maybe not as it does not sound like him at that stage of his preaching, isn't a bad thing at all to remind people of every week.

    Beats anything Dave Pack has to offer.


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    Replies
    1. Dennis
      Your "mainline honestly theologically educated pastor(s)" are jackasses.
      It was a heavy down pour that impeded the rate of fire and effectiveness of Napoleons artillery during the battle of Waterloo. And it was the worst winter in 70 years (now changed to 130 years by the Russians) that kept the Germans out of Moscow during WW2.
      It was so cold that not even the artillery pieces worked, and the machine guns and small arms only worked sporadically. The Nazi main force got within ten miles of Moscow before having to retreat. So yeah, God intervenes, manipulating human history.
      I suggest you broaden your reading subject matter.

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  8. The chief things missing from the COG sermons were comfortable chairs and pillows so you could enjoy a good nap.
    Most sermons were incredibly boring and often were poorly put together.

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  9. And Dave Pack's "I've never given/You've never heard a sermon like this before" (actual topic optional).

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  10. The thing is Hoss, Dave is right, because no one else in their right mind preaches his BS

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  11. You are saved by God's grace doesn't mean you are supposed to break God's law because you are saved by grace the Bible teaches that Satan is the accuser of the brethren and Jesus said Satan was the liar and the father of it don't be discussed by those who don't really believe the Bible and what to ask yourself is once you find God's truth is will you answer your calling or be annihilated in the lake of fire.

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  12. Dennis, you wrote "My last sermon at the FOT was on the conflict and drama between the beliefs of Peter, James and John as Jewish Christian Apostles and The Apostle Paul and that they were not on the same page in the least . . ."

    While I would agree that Peter, James and John were heavily influenced by Late Second Temple Judaism, I would not characterize their relationship to Paul as "they were not on the same page in the least." That is hyperbole. But this post is not about that topic. So I will defer any comments until the topic comes up again.

    ******* Click on my icon for Disclaimer

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  13. I'm 1:05 and thanks for sharing Dennis how far back speakers being set topics by others go in WCG. I would go as far as considering sermons as being dangerously defunct now in the spreading and teaching of the gospel.

    Far too many poor speakers have been put through thus over flooding and destroying the whole point of sermon giving in the first place.

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  14. "I've noted in the past how many non-WCG and well trained pastors and priests have admitted to me that an educated pastor is 50 years ahead of the congregation in their view of all things Biblical but not to be spoken of as either their job will be gone or their congregation will be."



    I can agree with that! As someone that has studied very deeply on biblical topics, context, and culture of the times, I can find it difficult after services when discussing biblical topics to "not say too much" because the average church member can't handle it. Even ministers have problems with some of the things I've learned.

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    Replies
    1. My experience was that many, if not most church members were struggling with the fundamentals of Christianity. The "the 50 years ahead of the congregation" material means little in such a situation.

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    2. ^^^ oh the self righteous pomposity ^^^

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