The Dreamiest Church of God Ever!!!!!!! Or, Is It Just "Coercive Persuasion?"

Ted and Fred have a dream...

No one in their right mind who has ever been part of the Worldwide Church of God—even for just a few years—knows for a fact that Herbert Armstrong and the church did not place any real significance on dreams, particularly the feverish dreams of would-be apostles who are now a dime a dozen in the splintered COG movement.

Oh, wait—except, of course, when it came to that one very special, divinely timed dream his wife Loma had back in the day, the one with the dazzling stars, angels, and a personal commission for an "important work" to prepare the way for Christ's return. But that was totally different, you see—that was a legitimate, non-fantastical, God-approved dream-vision thing, not like those other ones. Never mind that Herbert himself recounted it in his autobiography as a key signpost for his calling. Totally not the same as leaning on dreams for legitimacy. Nope. Move along.

No mainstream COG groups recognize those kinds of over-the-top, self-aggrandizing fantastical dreams... except, naturally, for that one hilariously improperly named "Continuing" Church of God (because nothing says "continuing" the original like starting your own new splinter in 2012).

Bwana Bob Thiel—sorry, Dr. Bob Thiel, the self-proclaimed super-duper apostle and Chief Overseer—has leaned harder on his collection of dreams (and that oh-so-convenient "double portion" blessing/anointing) than a drowning man clings to a life raft. These aren't just any dreams, mind you; they're the ironclad, irrefutable proof texts that he's God's one true superfantabulous end-time leader, the real deal Philadelphia mantle-holder, the final-phase-of-the-work guy. Because apparently, in the grand tradition of biblical prophets, the best way to confirm you're specially chosen is to have multiple people (including yourself) dream about it in ways that conveniently point straight to... you. How utterly humble and non-narcissistic.It's almost as if the entire COG landscape didn't already have enough self-appointed apostles claiming divine signals via subconscious nighttime movies. But sure, Bob's are the real ones. Everyone else's are just wannabe delusions from dime-a-dozen dreamers. His? Straight from the throne room. Double-blessed, even. Because why settle for one anointing when you can get the Elijah-to-Elisha upgrade package?

Truly, the pinnacle of biblical discernment.

The Great Bwana—our one and only, dream-certified, double-anointed apostle to the nations (and especially to those 100 or so Caucasians who tolerate him)—has been republishing an endless parade of posts about how certain members in Africa (and, sure, "elsewhere" if you squint) are having the most profound, divinely orchestrated dreams imaginable. These aren't your garden-variety subconscious reruns; oh no, these are blockbuster visions starring the greatest dreamer-prophet-apostle-chief-overseer the human epoch has ever seen strutting across the dreamscape like he owns the subconscious realm.

These mental delusions—sorry, these confirmed prophetic confirmations—are now catching on like wildfire among his loyal, faithful flock. They're oohing and aahing over every fresh nocturnal dispatch as if it's the latest blockbuster from the Throne Room itself. The frenzy has been whipped up to fever pitch by the Great Bwana himself (with perhaps a little assist from his ever-helpful "evangelists"), and now—miracle of miracles—his African members are also dreaming dreams. Who could've foreseen that relentless promotion of one's own prophetic credentials might inspire the flock to start manufacturing their own supporting cast of nighttime testimonials? It's almost like mass suggestion meets end-time enthusiasm!

Truly, what a golden age for biblical discernment. When the leader keeps hammering home that dreams are the ultimate proof of legitimacy (except, naturally, when anyone else has them), it's only natural that the membership would eagerly queue up to contribute their own star-studded cameos featuring—you guessed it—the one true superfantabulous leader. Because nothing screams "humble servant of God" quite like turning your personal calling into a viral dream meme that everyone suddenly starts replicating. How convenient. How utterly organic. How utterly like "coercive persuasion"

Coercive Persuasion: A term sometimes used to describe the psychological manipulation or "brainwashing" techniques used in some high-control groups.

Keep those dream journals handy, brethren in Africa and beyond—the Great Bwana needs fresh content for the next round of "proof" posts. After all, in the grand tradition of Acts 2:17, God is pouring out His Spirit... or at least that's what the reposts keep insisting.

 

Dear pastor 

 

Greetings pastor. I believe you are doing good though you are having great thrust of fulfilling Matthew 28:19 of which we must do before the return of Christ. … 

 

I had two dreams 

 

1. Before our family joined CCOG my father was then working with voice in the Wilderness Church of God. When I was sleeping I had a dream and in my dream I saw a light and the light was not normal, the one who was standing by the was You pastor Bob according to my dream. Then I had voice shouting, “Arise you who are sleeping, for the Lord is near.” I again I heard another voice shouting, “Come up Evans and let us do the work we are called to do.” I then saw a man dressed in white clothes join hands with my father walking together towards a very big lake then I woke up. 

 

2: In my second dream some weeks after my first dream and in my second dream I saw almost the same dream and now this was in New Zealand. I did not know about the CCOG group in New Zealand before I had the dream. 

 

Fred