God Has Sent Samuel Kitchen To Rome As A Warning!

Just when you thought the craziness in COG-LaLaLand couldn’t possibly get any more unhinged, along comes Samuel Kitchen to shatter that illusion once again.

Poor Samuel had grand plans to spend Passover and the Days of Unleavened Bread on the east side of the Jordan River, piously retracing the footsteps of ancient Israel. But alas, the God of the universe (or perhaps the U.S. Air Force and the Israeli Defense Forces) had “other plans.”

Thanks to the ongoing obliteration of Iran’s corrupt regime — much to the quiet delight of the long-suffering Iranian people — airspace over the region has become more unpredictable than a Church of God minister’s prophetic timeline. Flights were canceled left and right, routes vanished into thin air, and Samuel’s carefully arranged journey to Jordan mysteriously evaporated.

Instead of landing in Amman, our intrepid prophet found himself rerouted through an epic odyssey: Chicago → Belgrade → Budapest → Krakow → Rome → (supposedly) Amman. But when the Rome-to-Amman leg was abruptly canceled, Samuel was left holding non-refundable tickets into the Eternal City.

Naturally, he interpreted this not as a travel agency’s nightmare or the chaos of war, but as divine intervention. So he canceled his Jordan plans, extended his stay, and is now “stuck” in Italy for two weeks — all because God clearly wanted him there.

Behold, brethren! The Lord has spoken… through airline cancellations.

Samuel has now declared himself sent by God to warn Rome — our modern-day Jericho, which he says pictures Babylon the Great. He even compared his adventure to the Apostle Paul being sent to Rome. (Because nothing says “humble servant of God” like equating your missed flight to the Book of Acts.)

He helpfully points out that Rome’s taxi number is 060606 — you know, because 666 is totally not suspicious at all when you’re claiming to be a prophet.

Here’s Samuel’s own account, cleaned up just enough so you can fully appreciate the majestic levels of cope:

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Hello brethren,

What an adventure I have been on!

Back in December I booked and paid for a trip to Jordan to visit the area where the children of Israel gathered before crossing the River Jordan. Everything was arranged before my trip to Pasadena in January.

Because of the war with Iran, all airspace was closed. I kept hoping. Every time my flight was canceled, I rerouted through another airport, trying desperately to reach Amman on time. This turned my tickets into a non-refundable mess.

My itinerary ballooned into: Chicago → Belgrade, Serbia → Budapest, Hungary → Krakow, Poland → Rome, Italy → Amman, Jordan.

Days before departure, my Rome-to-Amman flight was canceled due to closed airspace. I was now stuck with non-refundable tickets into Rome.

So I canceled my return flight from Amman and my accommodation there. I am now staying in Italy for two weeks.

On Sunday I landed in Budapest after a delay from Serbia, which caused me to miss my connecting flight to Poland. I bought the only available ticket — a direct flight to Rome, arriving a day earlier than planned.

I ran into more trouble once I reached Rome, but I’ll report on that later. God is definitely moving things where He wants them. And He is letting everyone know I am here in Italy.

It reminds me of the scripture where the Lord spoke to Paul about going to Rome.

I was planning to look at Jericho from the east side of the Jordan and visit Mt. Nebo. But instead, God has redirected me to Rome — our modern-day Jericho, which pictures Babylon. What God pictured in Joshua will happen to Babylon: on the final trumpet, Babylon will fall.

I will report more on what has happened since landing in Rome later. (By the way, taxis in Rome are governed by the municipality. Did you know their phone number is 060606? Interesting, isn’t it?)

Remember brethren, not only must the Beast rise and receive power, but also the False Prophet.

Ever since my visit to Jerusalem, a man of Assyrian descent has heard tidings from the north (Russia) and from the east (Iran), and has gone forth with great fury (Daniel 11:44). Now, I am sent to Rome?

Notice Zechariah 2! [insert lengthy proof-texting about measuring Jerusalem, fleeing the daughter of Babylon, walls of fire, etc.]

This, of course, is about the restoration of the Worldwide Church of God!

I eagerly study the writings of Paul concerning Rome. It also applies spiritually to the churches of this world. These COG groups only exist due to Roman accreditation through their 501(c)(3) status. The world will become Rome again. Enforcement is coming, will it not?

Romans is an excellent book. It talks about the distinction between true members of the Church and those who lie.

Please pray for me, and I will continue to report soon.

In Christ’s service,

Samuel W. Kitchen

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There you have it. While Bob Thiel and Gerald Flurry are reportedly curled up in the fetal position sobbing into their prophetic charts, Samuel Kitchen has officially declared himself God’s special envoy to Rome — all because the airlines wouldn’t cooperate.

Truly, the end times are upon us… or at least the Italian tourism season is.

Stay tuned for more divine travel updates.