Why is He always so angry?
Because in the Armstrongist universe, God’s emotional range is basically “wrath” with occasional brief pauses for more wrath. This isn’t the “God is love” guy from the New Testament. This is Old Testament Greatest Hits: God as cosmic axe-wielding executioner who’s really upset about church organization charts, failed prophecies, and anyone who dares to keep the Holy Days without sending enough money to the right headquarters.
The theological roots remain the same: a heavy, lopsided diet of angry prophets, British Israelism, and end-time obsession that turns every minor church drama into cosmic prophecy. The various self-appointed leaders position themselves as the One True Remnant™, so anyone running a competing splinter is automatically a rebel against God Himself. And we all know how God handles rebels in their favorite scriptures—fire, slaughter, and zero chill.
Enter the Divine HR Hitman: Jesus Returns to Settle Splinter Scores.
According to Dave Pack’s teachings, when Jesus returns (the second time, before any rumored third time), His first priority isn’t comforting the suffering or battling actual evil empires. Nope. He’s going to personally slaughter three Church of God leaders one at a time, like a cosmic game of whack-a-mole with extra fire.
“Open the doors and let the fire devour the cedars.”
Then, after that invigorating church-sanctioned hit job, He’ll spend years mopping up the rest of humanity. Priorities!
Now let’s add the full cast of characters this perpetually pissed-off God apparently has beef with:
- Dave Pack (Restored Church of God): The man who wrote the script. His version of Jesus starts with executing three rival shepherds in sequence. Pack has long positioned himself as the final apostle, so naturally his version of Christ shares his exact enemies list.
- Gerald Flurry (Philadelphia Church of God): The “That Prophet” who built a mini-empire in Edmond, Oklahoma, complete with his own Armstrong College and a very expensive auditorium. In the Pack prophecy lens, Flurry is almost certainly one of the three cedar shepherds getting divinely barbecued first. God (or at least Dave’s God) is apparently furious about all that Malachi’s Message merchandising and those fancy concerts.
- Bob Thiel (Continuing Church of God): The dream-interpreting, double-portion prophet from California who split from LCG after claiming God spoke to him through earthquakes and nightmares. Bob’s endless “prophetic updates” and endless begging for “co-workers” make him prime fodder for the divine slaughter list. Jesus returns… and immediately has to deal with Bob’s latest dream newsletter. The sarcasm writes itself.
Picture it: The King of Kings descends, the sky splits open, and instead of “Peace on Earth,” it’s “Hold on, I need to handle these three COG preachers who wouldn’t submit to the correct hierarchy.” Dave, Gerald, and Bob—the holy trinity of end-time rivals—getting taken out one by one while the rest of humanity watches in confusion.
Sarcastic translation:
“Welcome back, Lord! What’s your first miracle?”
Taking out the guys who run the other tiny Sabbath-keeping groups. They used the wrong logo and didn’t recognize My true servant.
It’s comically petty. The Creator of galaxies returns… and His top priority is settling scores between competing Armstrongist splinter groups. Not Satan. Not the Beast Power. Not global tribulation. Just church politics with extra violence.
Why does their God need to be this violent, perpetually pissed-off creature?
- Control mechanism: A raging God is perfect for tithing and loyalty. “Send it in or you’ll end up like one of those three shepherds Jesus personally executes.”
- Prophetic one-upmanship: Each leader (Pack, Flurry, Thiel, and the rest) has to sound more urgent and apocalyptic than the others. Herbert W. Armstrong set the tone; they’ve just cranked it to 11 and added specific names, timelines, and body counts.
- They worship the God of the Law, not Grace: Jesus gets reduced from loving Savior to angry enforcer who’s mostly coming back to punish everyone who didn’t keep the Holy Days correctly or support the right “work.”
- Massive ego projection: When your entire identity is “I alone am God’s faithful servant while Flurry, Pack, Thiel, and the Laodiceans are all scum,” it’s convenient when God shares your exact temper and hit list.
The irony is thicker than a stack of old Plain Truth magazines. These leaders have been wrong about dozens of dates and prophecies for decades, yet their version of God is so obsessed with doctrinal purity that He’ll start the end-time slaughter with other Church of God ministers.
Classic Armstrongism: a small, angry religious fiefdom projecting their own pettiness and rage onto the Almighty. The God they describe doesn’t seem interested in mercy, relationship, or emotional stability—He just seems exhausted with all the splintering and ready to burn it all down, starting with the competition.
What a loving plan of salvation.
Hey guys, what lies are we going to tell for the greater good today?
ReplyDeleteYou must be referring to the ACOG leaders and ministers.
DeleteGet a clue, 3:08. This blog exists because of the lies promulgated by the Armstrong septic tank. Since you used the inclusive "we", grammatically that includes you as one who looking forward to telling the lies. You know yourself better than a reader can know an identity-concealing anonymous poster, so we thank you for coming clean as you did. Perhaps admission is that positive first step?
ReplyDeleteIt is one thing to point out the non-biblical hubris theories of Pack and the obscene way religious leaders live like Kings ect but it is blasphemy to mock the concept of judgment from God.
ReplyDeleteIs God to only be who you say he is.
Didn't Jesus himself leave the rest of Isaiah scripture unread at the start of his ministry to be fulfilled in the future.
Getting back more to the topic at hand, there is one thing I'll never understand about a fairly large subset of Armstrongites. Before I reveal that subset, let me preface the revelation with remarks made in a sermon by Ron Dart, in the classic WCG era, pre-scandal, pre-failure of 1972-75, and most definitely pre-splinter, pre-independent or non-aligned era. At the time Mr. Dart made the comment I will cite, nobody saw any of these things coming. HWA was still totally in control.
ReplyDeleteMr. Dart said, "Brethren, if any of us were to leave God's church, we would find that we just no longer fit in with anyone, anywhere!"
Suffice it to say that that was so thought-provoking that I still remember it today. My memory is such that if given a seating chart of the folding chairs in the AC Gymnasium, I could pinpoint precisely where I was sitting in the audience when he made that remark.
What I found in the years after I left was that what he said was true in a limited sense. To people raised in different cultures, our practices, attitudes, and habits, and our experiences with the mainstream because of our own cultural differences, were not such a radical departure from the things with which minority folks had to deal every day when they got up in the morning to go to school or work. In fact, they appreciated other people who were also different, knowing that we too understood the marginalization which the mainstream inflicts. We, also, in our own way had our struggles.
I hate to say it, (no, actually I really don't!), but Mr. Dart's comment was perhaps unknowingly made from a totally conservative white perspective. Over the years, I have not been one of those guys that "just hangs with his own kind". I've cherished both friendships and business relationships with people of all ethnicities and colors. I found greater, unlabored acceptance there. Actually, in some cases, I was even hired by employers who knew that about me and hired me specifically to help them expand their horizons.
The people I don't understand who are either currently in the Armstrong bubble, or have seen the light and left, are the people who revel in being "Israelites" and resent any exposure to other cultures, considering them to be either inferior, or yet another Satanic incursion. You know, "the stranger within your gates rising up......." You'd think they'd have a little compassion, since the Armstrongite interpretation of prophecy forecasts more persecution from the mainstream for COG people, as well!
the Armstrongite interpretation of prophecy forecasts more persecution from the mainstream for COG people, as well! >>>
DeleteThe prophecies of the Armstrong movement have zero substance except they have got right there will be a second coming of Jesus to stand upon the Mount of Olives.
It's an old concept that Herbert and his followers borrowed: Sinners in the hands of an angry God! I think that some of them would have an orgasm if God decided to zap one of their boogeymen! I don' want ANY part of the Armstrong/Pack/Flurry/Thiel god. If that's "THE TRUTH," I'll happily jump into the flames myself (and I do NOT anticipate I'll have to do that).
ReplyDelete