Happy 250th Birthday, Manasseh! from Pastor General Bill Watson

Happy 250th Birthday, Manasseh! from Pastor General Bill Watson

Pastor Bill Watson, leader of the newly minted Church of God Independent Ministries of Medina, Ohio, just wished America a Happy Birthday! (See Happy 250th Birthday America) Poor old Bill tried to wax eloquent about the "American Experiment," but it fell a little flat.

He said that it was a miracle that America had survived the many challenges it has faced. You know: dispossessing the original inhabitants of all of that land, getting thousands of Africans here across the turbulent Atlantic Ocean and trying to make them work for white folks, leveling vast tracks of virgin forest, making moonscapes of large tracts of land in its pursuit of coal and other resources, finding places to bury all of the refuse we've created, having to get rid of all of those pesky bison and passenger pigeons, building all of those miles of walls to keep people out, figuring out ways to keep undesirables from voting and usurping power from white folks, figuring out new and better ways to wage war and kill people, resisting those nasty folks who would like to mandate public health measures, etc. YES, America has had its challenges, but God has enabled us to survive and thrive! Talk about miracles!

Never one to be at a loss for words, Bill declared that "There is obviously something 'Providential' about the United States that seems to be providing a degree of protection for purposes of clearly, bringing a balance of power to the nations of the world–– and yes, there is: it’s called God’s Covenant Birthright!" You probably didn't know this, but the United States is really an Israelite nation. YES, according to Bill, the people of e pluribus unum are descendants of Joseph's son, Manasseh! Now, aren't we all sorry we slept through U.S. History class in high school?

Although Mr. Watson claims that he is shocked that we haven't seen World War III yet, he appears to be confident that his favorite president has everything in hand. He pointed out how he had completely defeated Iran and "took complete control of the Strait of Hormuz." Indeed, Mr. Watson believes that Trump is so tough that Iran's Russian, Chinese, and North Korean allies didn't dare to even whisper any objections to Trump's actions against Iran. "This is just stunning! Frankly, it’s unbelievably amazing when you think about it. Clearly, God is involved!" Watson crowed. Miracles everywhere we look!

Watson went on to write: "So, it would appear a 'judge' has been raised up in this Birthright Nation to resist and push back at the Globalist. To relieve and slow down some of the oppression and attempted control from the WEF, the UN, and so many of the additional global organizations like the IMF, the WHO, and the World Court, along with so many others, ––a speed bump, if you will––curbing their influence and reducing their momentum from achieving a 'New World Order.' Admittedly, President Trump’s administration has disrupted many of their plans, setting them back on their timeline!" Apparently, we should all be on our knees right now thanking Almighty God that he has raised up such a savior for this great nation of ours!

Mr. Watson sees a great "CHRISTIAN Nation" here. After all, all of those Founding Fathers professed to be Christians didn't they? Oh sure, some of them owned slaves and were personally immoral, but they professed their faith in Christ - Come on, doesn't that mean anything to you people? And, sure, Thomas Jefferson wrote his own version of the Gospels and deleted all of the miracles, BUT he still professed himself to be a follower of Christ's teachings! And, sure, some of our denominations split into Northern and Southern organizations because of their respective stances on slavery, BUT they were all still Christians! And, yes, there were some strong anti-Roman Catholic sentiments within some quarters of the American Christian community, BUT everything is OK now - Protestants and Catholics are united in their condemnation of abortion and homosexuals - SO CHEW ON THAT YOU COMMY ATHEISTIC DEMONCRATS!

Bill is clearly in a happy place. Sure, some will say that he is delusional; but the man is clearly patriotic! Yes, some smart alecks like me will point out that a Christian minister has no business singing the praises of one of this world's nations or becoming a political partisan of one party over another or of serving as a cheerleader for his favorite politician; but there are always killjoys waiting in the wings - aren't there? Maybe we should leave poor Bill alone. After all, he was just trying to wish America a HAPPY Birthday and doesn't America deserve a very happy birthday? What do you think?

Posted by Miller Jones/Lonnie C Hendrix