Prophet? Please. Bob Thiel’s Massive Rebuttal Is Peak Narcissistic Cope — HWA Quotes, Whispered Endorsements, and a Whole Tube of Butthurt

On June 18, 2024, I had the audacity to point out the blindingly obvious: 

Herbert W. Armstrong’s own words make absolute mincemeat of Bob Thiel’s desperate claim to prophetic superstar status. 

 

(See article here along with a video from a COG related group who says there is NO NEED for prophets today in the church)

Two years later, Bwana Bob is still nursing his hemorrhoids with his gigantic tube of Butthurt Cream, causing him to lash out today in a hilarious 10,966 word "rebuttal."

Is it a concise, Spirit-led reply? Oh no. It was a bloated, self-congratulatory biblical doorstopper — a rambling, name-dropping, quote-vomiting manifesto clocking in at well over 10,900 words of pure defensive cope.

If sheer word count proved divine inspiration, War and Peace would be holy writ and Crackpot Bob would outrank Moses, Elijah, and the Apostle Paul combined. Sadly for our verbose visionary, God doesn’t anoint prophets based on how many times they can repeat “I have never posted a false prediction” while patting themselves on the back. He just writes another 10,000 words because his narcissism can’t tolerate a blog post calling out the obvious.

Bwana Bob devotes massive chunks of his literary tantrum to cherry-picking Herbert Armstrong quotes on prophets, the two witnesses, future “prophesying again,” and Joel 2/Acts 2 duality. He then plants his flag and declares triumphantly: “See? HWA totally backs me!”

Cute. HWA also wrote, loudly and repeatedly, that he was emphatically NOT a prophet, that there was no such human prophet living in 1972, and that there was no doctrinal need for them at the time. Thiel’s brilliant rebuttal? “Well, HWA was just annoyed by random cranks, and he didn’t really mean it forever!” He even trots out a private chat with Aaron Dean as supposed smoking-gun proof.

Here’s the hilarious part: even granting Crackpot Bob's spin on Aaron Dean (which we only have on Thiel’s say-so), it still doesn’t magically transform Crackpot Bob into the end-time super-prophet. It just reminds us that HWA was a fallible man whose contradictory statements helped spawn dozens of feuding splinters after he died. Quoting long-dead Armstrong-era ministers as your airtight prophetic credentials is like using a dusty 1975 Plain Truth to “prove” modern doctrine. It’s cute nostalgia for the true believers, but it carries all the authority of a participation trophy.

The glittering diamond in Thiel’s crown of credentials? Roderick C. Meredith supposedly told him — multiple times, in private phone calls no one else witnessed — “God may consider you to be a prophet.” Thiel rounds up the usual suspects (Dibar Apartian, Douglas Winnail, Richard Ames) for alleged agreement.

Let that marinate. Rod Meredith — the guy with his own track record of prophetic speculation, administrative drama, and helping build yet another fracturing COG empire — allegedly dropped these prophetic sweet nothings in private chats. Thiel then took those vague, cautious, or possibly polite remarks, mixed in a 2011 private anointing prayer from Gaylyn Bonjour (where Bonjour was asked to pray for wisdom and supposedly got “moved by the Spirit” to toss in a “double portion” line), and declared himself the official Elisha mantle-bearer.

Then, when Thiel dramatically exited LCG at the end of 2012 to launch his own shop, Meredith wrote an accusatory letter essentially calling out Thiel’s self-importance. So either Meredith was temporarily deceived (as seems likely in his later years), or Thiel inflated casual phone comments into a full divine coronation that never actually existed in public. Classic.

This is peak narcissistic playbook: private conversations become sacred oracles, critics become “accusers of the brethren” and “grumblers like in Jude,” and any absence of public endorsement is blamed on everyone else’s Laodicean blindness. If that’s how God appoints prophets these days, it’s a wonder the Bible isn’t full of guys demanding “Didn’t so-and-so once say I might be special?”

Crackpot Bob adores Jesus’ “by their fruits you will know them” test. He boasts about CCOG growth (heavy on Africa), “restored truths,” and his unblemished record of zero false predictions.

Real fruits look like clarity, humility, unity, and protecting the flock. What we keep seeing are the same tired Armstrongist greatest hits — now starring Crackpot Bob: serious scandals in African congregations (allegations of adultery, witchcraft, arrests, and the usual defensive cover-up vibes), the endless “everyone else is compromised, only we have it right” superiority complex, and the same old legalistic fear machine.

In the actual New Covenant, believers don’t need a special class of dream-interpreting, mantle-claiming prophets issuing new restorations. Hebrews 1:1-2 drops the mic: God spoke through prophets in the past, but in these last days He has spoken by His Son. The Spirit was poured out on all flesh. The foundation was laid. The canon is closed. The priesthood of believers means you don’t need Bwana Bob as your personal end-times decoder ring.

Every COG splinter plays this game. Flurry has his no-contact tyranny and apostle cosplay. Pack had his endless date-setting circus in Wadsworth. Weinland had his prison sentence and legal troubles. Thiel sneers at them as false while doing the exact same dance with a slightly different agenda and longer blog posts. Pot, meet kettle — and both are calling each other Laodicean.

The most damning evidence is the article’s absurd length itself. A man secure in a genuine calling from God doesn’t need to birth a novella defending against one blog post. He doesn’t need to rehash his anointing story for the umpteenth time, list every private conversation like it’s Exhibit A in the Court of Divine Validation, attack his critic’s character, and pat himself on the back for “never posting a false prediction” while critics keep documenting the pattern.

That’s not bold prophetic witness. That’s a fragile ego in full meltdown mode, wrapped in Bible verses and delivered with the smug certainty of a man who just knows he’s the only one who gets it. Real biblical prophets were often reluctant, flawed, and opposed — but they didn’t crank out 10,966-word manifestos explaining why I was wrong and he is God’s special boy.

Crackpot Bob can quote HWA until the Tribulation starts. He can cling to Rod Meredith’s alleged phone blessings and his private “double portion” prayer like a security blanket. None of it makes him a prophet under any sane biblical standard — especially not in the New Covenant where Christ is sufficient.

Bob, if you were genuinely called as a prophet of the living God, you wouldn’t need a 10,966-word wall of text, tortured proof-texting, and a metaphorical (or literal) tube of Maximum Strength Butthurt Cream to soothe the sting of basic accountability. Your epic rebuttal doesn’t prove your calling. It proves the critics were right all along.

Apply liberally. The cream, that is. Your ego appears to need it in industrial quantities.

The real mincemeat here isn’t Armstrong’s quotes. It’s the towering pile of self-justification, selective memory, and unchecked ego Bwana Bob had to construct just to cope with basic criticism from a watchdog blog.

If this wall of words is the “greatest work” in the final phase, maybe the real deception isn’t the critics.

Maybe the emperor has been strutting around naked for years, and the only one still pretending otherwise is the guy holding the longest, most self-important fig leaf in COG history.

Readers, test everything. Especially the guys who need 10,000 words to prove they’re special.