Armstrongism truly gets dumber by the day. Of course, this particular specimen comes from the Wade Cox cult, so the depth of the absurdity should surprise no one.
One of Wade’s devoted acolytes recently posted the following gem on a shiny new Facebook group dedicated to the first resurrection. Here it is, cleaned up just enough so the English is readable:
Revelation 13:17 and Revelation 14:11 refer to what will happen to the majority of humanity during the Great Tribulation, where many will die. About 50–60% of human beings alive today have their fate sealed in this category and will perish within that 1,260-day period of the Great Tribulation. Immediately following that 1,260-day tribulation is what Revelation 16:2 represents: a period of about two and a half months in which the Faithful Loyal Heavenly Host of God’s angels and the Resurrected Saints of the First Resurrection will take over the affairs of planet Earth and subjugate the world, eliminating any further rebellion and disobedience against God’s Law. All human beings who have not yet repented will be put to death, and only the truly repentant survivors of the Great Tribulation (constituting about 10% of the current world population) will be allowed to live to see the 1,335th day since the Great Tribulation began. These are the Blessed Innumerable Multitude (90 million people) who constitute the human holy seed that God will have tithed out of the Earth’s harvest to repopulate the planet for the next 1,000 years of Christ’s earthly Millennial rule. So we have 1,260 days of Great Tribulation, with the First Resurrection taking place on the fourth day following that period. From that 1,264th day of the First Resurrection there shall be exactly 71 days of gathering the Holy Seed (repentant human beings) for Christ’s Millennial system and subjugating the planet under Christ’s governance. Anyone who lives to see the 1,335th day is happy and blessed. Only the Resurrected Saints and the said repentant 10% of humanity will see that day. All the rest of humanity will die as that coveted 1,335th day approaches. Before mid-2030 all these things shall have happened.
Now examine this fever dream in the light of the New Covenant—the actual one inaugurated by Jesus’ blood (Luke 22:20; Hebrews 8–10), not the one that apparently requires a hierarchical army of resurrected Armstrongist loyalists to enforce compliance at gunpoint (or sword-point).
The New Covenant is not a divine martial-law regime in which “saints” and angels spend two and a half months methodically slaughtering dissenters so the remaining 10% can be force-fed the correct calendar, diet, and hierarchy. It is the covenant in which God writes His law on hearts and minds by the Spirit, remembers sins no more, and brings people into relationship with Himself through faith in Christ—not through surviving a body-count quota administered by the First Resurrection class of 2030. Jesus explicitly said His kingdom is not of this world and does not advance by the methods of this world (John 18:36). The apostles never described the gospel as “repent or be executed by the newly risen elect so you cant help repopulate the earth under our supervision.” That is the logic of a theocratic purge, not the New Covenant.
Yet here we are treated to precise population percentages, an exact 71-day subjugation window, a tidy 90-million “holy seed,” and a hard deadline of mid-2030—none of which appear in Scripture, all of which somehow place Wade Cox’s organization at the administrative center of the Millennium. How convenient.
So, all you Laodicean sinners who refuse to bow to grumpy Wade and his henchmen, you had better get your act together. You have until mid-2030 before the real fun starts. If Wade’s timeline feels a touch too exclusive, there is always Bob Thiel’s version—equally unhinged, equally self-referential, and equally untethered from the New Covenant. One can almost picture the two of them as the Two Witless Witnesses strolling the streets of Jerusalem, arguing over who has the more accurate prophetic spreadsheet while the rest of humanity quietly prefers the lake of fire to a thousand years of listening to either of them.
Spending the Millennium under that management is not, it turns out, a selling point of the gospel.
So we have 1,260 days of Great Tribulation, with the First Resurrection taking place on the fourth day following that period. From that 1,264th day of the First Resurrection there shall be exactly 71 days>>>glad it's all sorted out now it has only totally confused countless numbers and major commentators for two millennia.
ReplyDeletewhen their prophecy fails as it will what amends to these persons propose?
For years, I've used the terms "Armstrong franchise" and "Armstrong franchisee" satirically as if an ACOG splinter group were a Dairy Queen, or Duraclean Carpet Cleaning business, but surely these terms help convey the absurdity of the splinters as we watch abnormal personalities inject their own thought processes and theories into the already bizarre and senseless Armstrong package, continuing to use their magic Armstrong prophecy decoder ring to inject fear into those whom they manage to collect, and thus control them.
ReplyDeleteThe tithe-based business plan guarantees a degree of liquidity, the effectiveness of which varies in accordance with the personal magnetism, and persuasiveness of the individual's public speaking abilities. That is a must! It is the one ingredient which a franchisee must bring to the party on his own! But there are opportunities for the knowingly less talented. While some franchisees can be successful as sole proprietors, others pool their talents with similar individuals into a corporate structure, usually with the most effective or the most experienced "teachers" floating to the top. This has proven to be a further training ground, with additional individuals eventually splintering off, drawing their own little cadre of followers away from the corporation, and taking them along for an even more bizarre ride. Thus, it is like any career in sales! Your raise becomes effective the moment you do! Some go on to greater recognition and success, while others perpetually languish in the doldrums. Results are directly linked to another axiom. We all attract people who are very like ourselves, and can relate to us. There has never been a plethora of top feeders in Armstrongism. It has alway been a bottom feeding "not too many wise are called" organization, with its founder openly calling his followers his ""dumb sheep". Still, dumb sheep types do require leaders. Leaders require these dumb sheep for their income and status.
Surely several things are obvious to us all! First of all, we're in a mess! Look outside of your bubble and around you! Everything is breaking or broken. Secondly, the aging Armstrong franchisees and their followers have based their entire lives upon HWA's original hook! That the tribulation and the return of Jesus Christ would occur within their lifetimes. There's a deep inner need and a daily sense of compulsion for this to happen before they die! It's got to be driving people crazy that what we see happening around us is nothing like the HWA prophecy model. Where is the persecution? Those who would persecute have either pressed the ignore button, or have hung up the phone. Where are the Germans? Where is that confounded Beast? The Catholic Church? Mandatory Sunday-Keeping? The leaders of Armstrongism say, think, and do crazy things, repeating mantras which often make perfect sense amongst themselves, attempting to shoe-horn and spin, and yet the Armstrong franchise and its people have not become the gatekeeper to the endtimes as the original mission statement said it would! They broke before everything else became broken! And somehow do not realize it.
Agreed. Your statement about the aging Armstrong franchisees is spot on. Aging and one foot in the grave. The HWA prophecy model is on life support now. And will soon be no more. I don’t if I should laugh or cry at what I see. Saddened for those still caught up in its suffocating embrace. The liberty we have in Christ is a far cry, from what once was our lot, for so many of us. Cheers.
Delete