Satan’s Elite Hacker Squad Strikes Again!
Bob Thiel’s Servers Toast While
Heaven Apparently Takes a Coffee Break.
Greetings from the front lines of the cosmic IT war!
Poor Crackpot Bob Thiel (self-appointed final Philadelphian torch-bearer of the improperly named Continuing Church of God) has once again suffered a “hacker attack.” And of course, it’s not some script-kiddie with a $5 botnet or a guy who noticed Crackpot Bob’s password is still “Armstrong123.” No, no, no. It’s Satan and his minions. The actual Devil. Roaring lion. Seeking whom he may devour. Specifically, Bob’s web servers!
Because nothing says “priority one for the Prince of Darkness” like taking down the website that posts weekly updates about how everyone else is Laodicean and only Crackpot Bob’s tiny group gets the two wings of a great eagle to Petra.
Crackpot Bob solemnly reminds us to be sober and vigilant (1 Peter 5:8), then immediately pivots to Hebrews 12:11 about chastening being painful but fruitful. Translation: “My site is down again and it hurts my feelings, but don’t worry, this is just God spanking me for my own good while the demons high-five over the keyboard.”
And the best part? Crackpot Bob’s own theology insists the end-time Philadelphian work cannot be stopped. It will continue until the 1335 days, the place of safety, the nuclear fireworks on London, the whole Armstrong-prophecy bingo card. God’s work shall not be thwarted! The succession remnant marches on!…Except when Satan’s minions briefly make the homepage say “404 – True Church Not Found.” Then it’s a spiritual crisis requiring multiple Bible verses, a history lesson on 1979 Pastor General’s Reports, and a sermonette about Petra.
Sure, Bob. The Almighty who spoke the universe into existence somehow can’t keep a WordPress site online against a few horned sysadmins with root access. But don’t you dare call it “Bob needs better security and maybe a grown-up web host.” That’s just more ridicule from the minions!
We are to take our tests one day at a time, endure to the end, and pretend that every outage is a badge of Philadelphian honor instead of, you know, the natural result of running a fringe prophecy site that spends more energy declaring itself the only true remnant than updating its SSL certificates.
Keep enduring, Bob. Your god says the work can’t be stopped. The demons just keep hitting refresh on the denial-of-service button for the lulz.
Dear Brethren and Co-Workers in Christ:Greetings from Grover Beach, California.We endured another hacker attack this week. While we are working to recover from that, we all need to remember we are to:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. (1 Peter 5:8)Satan continues to use his minions to attack, as well as having others of them to ridicule, this work. While that is to be expected (Matthew 5:10-12), we also realize that the Apostle Paul wrote:
11 Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:11)
We are to take our tests and trials one day at a time (Matthew 6:34) and endure to the end (Matthew 10:22).
The end time Philadelphian work cannot be stopped–and will continue until it is time to flee as the old Worldwide Church of God taught:
GOD’S CHURCH–who wait and endure until the 1335 days–approximately 1335 days prior to Christ’s coming. But since no one can know the day or the hour of His coming, we probably shall not be able to know the exact day that this 1335 days begins. But apparently that is the time when OUR WORK SHALL END. That will be a time when the UNITED EUROPE shall appear –the revival of the medieval “Holy Roman Empire.” We shall then be warned, and readied to be taken to a place of refuge and safety from the Great Tribulation. Forty-five days later “the beast’s” armies will surround Jerusalem. Thirty days later tho Great Tribulation will probably start with a nuclear attack on London and Britain–and possibly the same day or immediately after, on United States and Canadian cities. The GREAT TRIBULATION, we shall then fully realize, is the time of “Jacob’s Trouble,” spoken of in Jeremiah 30:7. (Armstrong HW. The Time We Are In, Now. Pastor General’s Report-Vol 1, No. 15, November 20, 1979, p. 1)
The “Philadelphia era” or succession of God’s Church will be taken on the “two wings of a great eagle”–whatever that symbolizes–to a place of protection where we are to be “fed”–provided for. (Armstrong HW. Great Significance of Summit Conference. Pastor General’s Report, Vol. 2, No. 26, June 27, 1980).
The Continuing Church of God represents the succession remnant of the Philadelphian era living in this time of Laodicean dominance.
Satan and his minions did not attack Bob. It is just another lie he is telling to divert attention away from his failed prophecies
ReplyDeleteHe regularly uses dead people, creative history, questionable degrees, and sloppy IT procedures as personal validation, and proof of origins for his message. And, he's not endearing as the stereotypical nutty professor might be, either.
ReplyDeleteWhen a friend of mine passed away several years ago, the pastor who presided over the memorial service shared with us that one thing he shared in common with the deceased was that during another part of their respective careers, they both once drove garbage trucks. I must say that I have much more respect for that pastor than I do for anyone who would inflate their credentials, or use bogus ones. Bragging, and then complaining that nobody follows you immediately goes to credibility. I believe that a lot of this stuff, the way one reacts to or interacts with the surrounding world, is a part of our soul print, the basic personality with which we are all born. We admit that we must constantly fight our nature, and frankly, that is part of it. It's actually Biblical. if we don't find ways or receive spiritual assistance to counteract our inner weaknesses, or lamenesses, and if we insist on dwelling upon them or, worse, processing them out loud, we will never become successful!
Regardless as to whatever else we might say about HWA, he did not give off an aura of lameness or weakness. At least in the presence of the brethren, he was strong and forceful. He either pioneered or plagiarized the technique of constantly claiming to be under attack by Satan, but his personality was such that he could get away with it. He actually used it quite effectively! Millions of dollars of effectively! The Christian mainstream took notice of his sheer ubiquitousness on the radio, and his church's massive income.
Nobody is going to follow someone who is always crying in their beer! Also, in a case where there are allegations of consorting with witch doctors, is it really appropriate to be complaining about attacks by Satan??? That is truly puzzling! But then again, Armstrongites have spent every minute of every day since 1975 struggling with math.
One of Bob's sons is some kind of internet genius and attends LCG.
ReplyDeleteIs that an irony, or a hint about the hacker?
Mike Kreyer whos under sheldon Monson said to me personally that he met Bobs eldest son years ago in France. He asked him why aren't you with your father. Bobs eldest son replied I don't believe he's a Prophet, I don't think he's doing the right thing. Well now we know that son was spot on. Bob both your sons are in LCG , I mean give it up already 🤪🤣😈
DeleteBob is living in a WCG-Armstrongite perspective. Funny, I just woke up from a little nap, and from a dream that reminded me of perspective. In the dream, I was in some sort of waiting room, possibly something having to do with healthcare. I remember the plaster walls were all painted a pastel green. There were small candies in a bowl on the desk across the counter. I was hungry, and was trying to furtively reach over and sneak a Hershey's miniature dark chocolate bar from a bowl. The ones with the brown paper and gold foil wrapper. Finally, I had my fingers on it, when suddenly a young Black lady walked up to the desk from the other side. She was holding some sort of a keyboard from the childrens' toys, looked right at me and exclaimed "Hey! Is this the way White people play this thing, with no stand and all? I don't think you could play any of my kind of music that way!" She was holding it in her left hand and depressing the keys with her right.
ReplyDeleteI withdrew my hand from the bowl, and actually had succeeded in secretly picking up one of the candies. I smiled at her and said, "Hey all I can tell you is that I once had a friend who was a keyboard player who sat in with some Black musicians, and they always told him he had no left hand!"
She smiled, but wanted to be sure I hadn't made that up, and said, "Really? No left hand! What was your friend's name?" So I told her, even spelling his name, and explained that this was years ago when I lived in California.
She seemed satisfied by my answer, and as I turned my head, I popped the little Hershey's candy into my mouth. It must have been an intense dream, because as I awoke from the adventure, my mouth was going through some motions, and I was totally disappointed to realize that there was no candy there! I do love Hershey's Semi! Oh well, when I make my Saturday night beer run, I'll go to Frys instead of Seven-Eleven! They'll have Hersheys and the beer! Yeah! That's the ticket!
Bob shares his dreams and always attaches great spiritual significance to them, so I thought that just once, I'd post one of mine! When he reads this in the next ten or fifteen minutes, I sure hope he doesn't think I've just been called to go over to Malawi to help him in his African work!