Help Stop Satan From Violating The Mother Church: Christ's Official Cashier Has Spoken: Everyone Else Is Babylon, Send Checks to Iowa Immediately

 

This is a test. 

Time is short. 

He is angry. 

He is yelling...or at least tries to.

Samuel W. Kitchen, a third-generation Worldwide Church of God remnant from Iowa, has posted another urgent Sabbath-day video from a park in Manitoba and boy is he mad!!!!!!!!! 

In it he explains that every other Church of God group, the Catholics, Grace Communion International, Philadelphia Church of God, and basically anyone who did not immediately recognize him as the authorized collector of God's money is now "daughters of Babylon." The original WCG mother church has been "raped" by Satan and infiltrators. Fortunately, Christ has appointed Sam as His representative. Therefore the tithe that used to go to Pasadena now belongs in his PO Box. 

This is not new theology. It is the standard Armstrongist splinter playbook, now reduced to one guy with a YouTube channel, an AI music library, a letter of "authorization" from an elder who later took a job elsewhere, and a website insisting the unincorporated spiritual organism known as the Worldwide Church of God still exists and that Sam is its current cash register. 

The claims collapse under their own weight. Herbert Armstrong died in 1986. The church apostatized, rejected all of his teachings and is now known as Grace Communion International. Dozens of competing "true remnants" have appeared since, each declaring the others Laodicean, Jezebel's daughters, or worse. Sam simply picked the most convenient version: everyone else is compromised, therefore send the money here. The "letter of authorization" is not apostolic succession. It is one unemployed elder in the Phillipines stroking the ego of Sam by  writing a note so he can "legitimately" solicit funds. That is not how the New Testament describes support for ministry.

The "Satan is raping the mother church" language is theatrical even by Church of God standards. It turns a 40-year-old organizational breakup into a cosmic sexual assault that only Sam's PayPal can halt. The same tradition that once predicted the Great Tribulation for the 1970s, then the 1980s, then "this generation," now needs another emergency to keep the tithes flowing. Urgency plus exclusivity plus "God's representative" is the oldest fundraising formula in Armstronmgism. It works until people notice the representative lives in Iowa, films himself shouting at trees, and has no congregation larger than a comment section.

Tithing itself is treated as an unchanging law that happens to terminate at whichever man currently holds the PO Box. The New Testament never commands Christians to send 10 percent to a self-appointed restorer of a 20th-century American denomination. Paul collected offerings for poor saints in Jerusalem, not for a man insisting he alone preserved Herbert Armstrong's copyrights. When every other group is declared apostate the moment they stop mailing checks to you, the doctrine has become a loyalty test, not stewardship.

The video is wild; mouth open, hands clawing the air, face flushed with the particular fury of a man who believes the universe is ending and also that people owe him money. That combination has launched over 400 tiny irrelevant splinter groups. Most of them stay tiny as they implode into even smaller groups. The mother church will have to survive the alleged rape without the tithe from those particular audience.

If the test is whether people will keep sending money to whoever shouts the loudest about being the last faithful remnant, history already graded that exam. The answer is usually "until the next guy with a better camera and a new PO Box shows up."

If you actually follow Jesus under the New Covenant, you should not send Sam Kitchen a dime. The New Testament never told you to mail 10 percent to the last man still waving the old Worldwide Church of God letterhead while shouting that everyone else is Babylon. Tithing funded a Levitical priesthood that no longer exists. Jesus did not collect it that way. Paul told churches to give what they had decided in their hearts, cheerfully, not under compulsion, and not because some guy in a park declared himself Christ's official cashier. 

Sam's pitch is the opposite of that: urgency, exclusive remnant status, "the test begins now," Satan is raping the mother church, and the only approved storehouse happens to be his PO Box. That is not New Covenant generosity. That is a fundraising emergency dressed up as prophecy. A follower of Jesus is not required to subsidize one more self-appointed and self-absorbed restorer who has decided that disagreement equals apostasy and that disagreement can be cured with a check. Give to people who are actually poor, to work that is actually accountable, or to a local body you can see. Do not fund the guy whose entire argument is "everyone else is compromised, therefore pay me." That is how tiny Armstrongist personality cults stay alive. It is not how the New Covenant works.

=====================

I know this will give him views, but bloody hell, it is soooooooo worth watching!  It is only about 15 minutes and the longer the video goes the madder he gets. Yet, all of his bloviating blusters comes off as a comedy routine that you cannot take seriously. Nice people (and Samuel actually come across as a nice man) just cannot carry the weight of visible anger very well. You will see what I mean. He is NO Rod Meredith!