"...I am supposed to submit to him no matter what he does..."

James Malm (Shining Light) has set himself up as an authority on marriage, divorce, contentious women, bullying husbands and Godly childrearing.  All of his admonishments boil down to one directive...unless you rule your house in a godly manner you will NOT be ruling over nations/world's in HWA's so called kingdom.

If we can’t even lead our own families properly and in a godly manner; do we really expect God to give us authority over the nations?

People expect to rule nations and they cannot even rule their own families in a godly manner.  Of course this is a very broad generality and there are many exceptions, but there are far too many problems that really NEED to be overcome in this matter.

Part of the reason that we were given families is so that we could learn to rule; So what is godly leadership and ruler ship?

He then lays the admonition for ministers to set a godly example (which I agree they should).  However, in Armstrongism the ministry was/is still filled with adulterers, wife swapping, wife beating/abuse, child abuse, alcoholics and drug addicts, etc., etc.,etc.  The ministry of the COG is not capable of being examples of Godly behavior when their founder was a sexual deviate himself!  When HWA bragged about 'spanking' women because he was upset with their make-up, short dresses, or plunging necklines, you know the guy has a problem!

Hey, that's what Herbert W. Armstrong suggested in his "Women's Dress Ruling concerning too short and too tight skirts, and extra-low-neck dresses" in the September, 1962, Good News, pp. 9, 16.

In this infamous article HWA states that seeing inappropriately dressed makes him so mad he feels they deserve a "sound spanking" or to be called a "common prostitute." (p. 9, middle column, paragraphs 4-6.)

Well, there you have it. No wonder his attitude struck us the wrong way. He is talking like Herbert W. Armstrong. Living Armstrongism

Diehard Armstrongites will find this link useful to bone up on their Biblical spanking skills:  How to Discipline Your Wife

Malm writes:

In your relationship with your wives you are to NEVER EVER strike, push, shake or otherwise physically assault your wives.  Anyone who does so, should be immediately disfellowshipped until he has counseled and repented; such bullying and brutalizing should NEVER be permitted.  Everything you do should be for the good of your wife and family.

Wives: Do not provoke your husbands.  

This admonition follows on HWA's and GTA's understanding that wicked little Eve provoked her husband into sinning, therefore wicked, rebellious, and contentions wives still provoke their husbands....


He then includes a letter from a woman about the abuse she is suffering with her husband.  Note not once in her letter did any minister or ministers wife, nor did Malm, tell her that the next time her husband shoved her she should have him arrested! The shoving and pushing will eventually lead to something far more dangerous either to her or her kids.

James,
I have gotten some very useful and helpful information from reading your blog. However, today I feel l must comment on your response to “anonymous”. Unless you have lived in a situation where you are constantly in fear of doing something to “cause” a spouse to give in to a fit of rage, you have no idea what you are talking about!

I am married to a man who attends church with me. He knows the scriptures and uses them constantly to judge everyone except himself. We have been married for many years and in that time, he has used me as his “whipping boy”.  He hasn’t physically assaulted me, but he has come close (shoving and pushing). He has a fearsome temper and takes out his anger on me usually – and on our children when they dare to cross him. He has alienated our children by his domineering attitude and anger displays. If you don’t see things HIS way, well you are asking for a verbal assault.  I have been called every name in the book and told how useless and worthless I am – AND what a hypocrite I am! As if I think that I can deceive God about any of my personal sins!

He has actually said to me, that I am supposed to submit to him no matter what he does, because I am “converted”! He is very charming to other people – he can talk to anyone and people think he is wonderful! He would do anything to help others but has admitted that he with-holds things from me because he can (spite).

A few years ago, HE actually spoke privately in a meeting he requested, with our local minister and two local elders about me and my lack of “submission”. He was told by all three that he was wrong – therefore, they have no credibility with him! We have counseled with my local minister and his wife in our home and because I wasn’t told how terrible I was, he now has zero respect for the minister. I have asked for him to go with me to marriage counseling only to be told that if I want to go, I can go by myself (he won’t pay for it) since I am the one with the “problem”!

I have been a member of a COG for decades and have struggled with my “problem” all that time. I have felt unforgiven by God and hopeless because I have been unable to “overcome” my sins and faults – all the while being told how much of a failure and hypocrite I am, by my closest “neighbor”. I sit in services beside someone who is judging ME by every word he hears from the speaker.